by Sosie Frost
I didn’t make it to the toilet, but the bathtub worked. I hardly had the energy to sit up, but I did have the motivation to cry. The first blubbering tears stole my breath. Frustration smacked me over the head.
This wasn’t fair.
I had no idea how to do this on my own anymore—and it wasn’t just the wedding scaring the bejesus out of me. I hauled myself to my feet and brushed my teeth. It helped, but only a little.
The stress was too much.
Even if I didn’t tell him about the baby, Nate had said he wanted to help. He promised he’d be there for me.
He said he wanted me.
So maybe he’d help me now?
Why was I so terrified to dial his number? My lip trembled before he answered. I sniffled as the call connected, and as soon as I heard his voice, I whimpered.
Nate laughed.
“That’s a great Lindsey impression,” he said. “Sounds real.”
I had a bad habit when I cried—I forgot to breathe, some sort of subconscious attempt to not actually make a sound. It never worked. Inevitably I’d huffed some choked gasp that sounded like a cross between a gasp and a sick, orgasmic ostrich.
It wasn’t sexy, and it wasn’t quiet.
Nate stopped laughing. “Oh, damn. You’re really upset. What’s wrong? Bryce didn’t get cold feet again did he?”
Warning bells clanged in my head. “What?”
“Shit. Never mind. Forget I said anything.”
Great. I reminded myself to add note sixteen to the to-do list—chase down the groom. He used to be a linebacker. That wouldn’t be easy.
I choked up again.
“Mandy, what’s wrong?”
Everything.
Where to start? I couldn’t breathe, and the damn tears frustrated me more. I put the phone down to grunt out the breath lost in my chest. It did nothing. I coughed it out, more humiliated that I called Nate and could only cry.
The words came, but not in the right order.
“It’s all mushrooms!”
Tears rolled over my cheeks. Something told me the baby wouldn’t like mushrooms. The wedding would be ruined, my family destroyed, the baby would hate everything I tried to feed it, and I’d be the world’s worst Maid of Honor and mother because I didn’t check on the meat.
“What’s all mushrooms?” Nate talked slowly. “You gotta give me a little bit more.”
“Dinner. The wedding. All vegetarian. We all have to eat mushrooms.”
“Oh…I don’t like mushrooms.”
He sliced the final cut straight through my heart. I collapsed onto the floor.
“Hey, fine. I’ll eat mushrooms. Before, during, or after the wedding. As many as you want. I promise. Just tell me what the hell is happening.”
“The caterers are making vegetarian-only meals.”
“Why?”
“Lindsey scared them! She ordered her dinner and said she’d rather skin them alive for getting the dinner wrong than hurt one chicken.”
“Sounds about right.”
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to get my nails done and put up the decorations and help the caterers and organize the string quartet and hire the other DJ…” The tears came back. “I haven’t even learned how to nae nae.”
“How to what?”
“Mom’s dress isn’t done—she wants to wear that red hoochie-momma outfit, and Lindsey is flipping out. Dad doesn’t have the money right now to pay half the people we need to pay. There’s no cake—we’re ordering cupcakes from this place called Sweet Nibbles, but we’re probably going to have to bake cookies too—”
“Mandy, take a breath.”
“Half the family is ecstatic they can do the funeral and wedding in the same weekend, but my cousins are pissed because they said it's disrespectful, but that’s only because they’ve always wanted Great Aunt Mildred’s jewelry collection, and Lindsey had already asked to wear the rings and necklace for the wedding—”
“Mandy.”
“I haven’t eaten all day. My dress doesn’t fit right. Mom and Dad are fighting again—they can’t even be in the same room. We terrified your dad today. Again. We wanted to make sure the ceremony was good to go, and some very blasphemous things were said when my dad suggested Lindsey and Bryce get some counseling after the wedding to help the marriage…”
“It’s okay. What else?”
Why did it feel so good to tell him all this? I sniffled. I think I ranted everything. I pouted.
“My socks are on the wrong feet.”
“How do you know?”
“I can tell.”
“Okay. Here’s what’s going to happen.” Nate’s voice became to a gentle command. “You lay down and take a nap.”
“What? I can’t!”
“I’ll be over in two hours. You relax until then, try to stay calm, and we’re going to solve the problems one at a time…starting with the wedding food. Okay?”
Nate was gifted in bed, but he wasn’t a miracle worker outside my panties. “O—okay.”
“I’ll see you in a bit.”
The call ended.
I should have slept. Instead I sprung into a frantic, pulse-pounding scattershot effort to shove as many blankets, bras, books, boxes, and empty water bottles into my closet as I could, in lieu of cleaning.
I tossed the unscrubbed pot soaking in the sink into the oven before rushing to the laundry basket to find something that looked remotely casual. My favorite pair of jeans suddenly fit a lot differently, and I didn’t even want to consider those consequences. A pair of yoga pants worked though.
I tucked into a comfy t-shirt and pretended like I could face the most gorgeous man in the world armed with only a tube of strawberry scented lip balm and a ponytail.
An hour and a half later, Nate knocked at the door. I nearly forgot to tuck the sonogram picture into the deepest pocket of my purse.
I took no chances. I hid the purse and the picture in the closet with all the other unmentionables.
I answered the door to a pile of three boxes. Nate slid a fourth down the hall. I peeked inside.
Lettuce? Tomatoes? He bought three bags of cheddar cheese the size of my head and a tub of sour cream I could swim in…
…And if Lindsey saw the thirty pounds of ground meat he hauled onto my counter, she’d personally brand both of our behinds.
“What are you doing?” I stared as Nate unloaded sleeve upon sleeve of hard taco shells. “Tell me you didn’t rob Mexico.”
“I have a friend who works at a restaurant depot. One of those stores that sell in bulk directly to commercial kitchens. He hooked me up.”
“With…a walking heart attack?”
Nate’s mischievous grin turned proud. “Taco bar, baby! Everyone loves tacos. As long as the vegetarian dishes aren’t too horrible, we can work this out.”
He was a genius.
A goddamned genius.
My apartment wasn’t large enough for any real culinary magic, but Nate made it work. I texted Lindsey to tell her not to worry about the caterers—which, in turn, made her freak about the caterers—then silenced the phone. Nate rummaged through my kitchen as if he had always belonged there. He twirled a frying pan by the handle and winked at me.
“We cook the meat up now, prep the veggies, and I’ll store it in the fridge at the pub. Then we’ll deliver it on Saturday to the wedding. Ask the caterers to bring extra warming dishes, and we’re set.”
“I can’t thank you enough for this.”
“Oh…I don’t know about that. Sit there and think of all the naughty ways you might repay me.”
I didn’t trust his smile, but it warmed me up like I sat on the burner. He pre-warmed the pan for the ground meat and rummaged through my drawers for a spatula.
“You can cook?” I asked.
“Cook. Brew. Bake. I’m a one-man kitchen machine.”
“That’s good to know.”
His arms tensed as he hauled the meat to the counter. His muscles flex
ed, and I wanted nothing more than to touch his ink. “Why’s that?”
“Because now I know you can make me dinner.”
“Anytime you want, baby.”
He was serious. My heart thudded a bit too hard. I turned to distract myself with the veggies and other prep work, but Nate thought ahead. He bought shredded lettuce and refried beans, taco sauce, shells. Everything we needed.
It shouldn’t have surprised me that Nate would have done everything in his power to help me.
But it did.
And it meant so much more to me than he realized. Maybe it was time for him to know it.
“Nate…” I had no idea what to say that didn’t sound idiotic. “You didn’t have to go through all this trouble.”
“You asked me for help.”
“I probably overstepped my bounds—”
“If you ask me for help…I’ll help. Anytime, baby.” His smile faded, but his voice warmed. “And I like that you asked me.”
“I liked that you came.”
He grinned, “You always do.”
I smacked his arm. “You know what I mean.”
My fingers teased over his shoulder and bicep. He tensed under my touch, but it was a good tense. A shiver rolled from me into him. Every instinct screamed at me to pull away, apologize, and hide behind the box of dozens of tomatoes for chopping. Instead, I traced the ink on his arm.
“I’m glad you’re here,” I said. “I feel…calmer now.”
“As soon as I’m done, I’ll make sure you’re very relaxed.”
I smirked. “Oh, I see how it is. This project isn’t from the goodness of your heart. You want something in return.”
Nate winked. “Baby, you don’t have to bribe me with tacos to sex you up.”
“Sex me up?”
“Well, either I sex you up or I go down…lady’s choice.”
“How magnanimous.”
Nate gave the pan a shake. “One thing about me you might not know…I’m a giver. I live to serve.”
I laughed. “Your reputation begs to differ.”
“And your experiences?”
I bit my lip. “Those are a different story.”
“Until you, I hadn’t found a woman who deserved my undivided attention.”
“What’s so special about me that I get that honor?”
“Because you’re so goddamned beautiful I can’t help staring at you.” He graced me with another sidelong glance that lingered over my curves. “Say the word, and I’m fucking yours baby. I’ve got twenty-five pounds of ground beef in that cooler to prove it.”
My heart beat too fast to hear over the rushing blood coursing through my body. I swallowed. Nate didn’t expect me to answer. His sweet smile soothed the raging blitz of emotions and hormones that stole my voice.
I had no idea what to say. I knew which words he wanted to hear.
And those were the ones I couldn’t say yet.
Not if I kept the secret.
Nate nudged me to prep the ingredients, and I helped to organize once we cooked the meat and chopped the onions and diced the tomatoes. I shoved as much as I could in the fridge. It took a few hours, but we prepared everything and stashed it away without me combusting from standing too near the stove or straying too near the man who owned my heart, my body, and was slowly wearing down the only defense I had against him.
He turned off the light over the stove and stared at me.
“All done.” His voice was a low, gravelly rumble. It hummed through me, and I couldn’t breathe. “The wedding is saved.”
“I…I don’t know how to thank you.”
“Yes, you do.” He leaned in, but he didn’t kiss me. “I should get going. Need a shower to get all the grease off me.”
I licked my lips. “You could shower here.”
“Only if I get some company.”
The thought thrilled me. I bit my lip and took his hand, tugging him towards the bathroom. He grinned.
“Mandy, you don’t have to. I was joking about the tacos.”
“I’m not joking about this.” I pulled him closer. His eyes burned so bright and beautiful it was amazing I hadn’t surrendered to him before. “Nate, I can’t tell you how I feel yet…but I can show you how much you mean to me.”
“I don’t want to make it complicated.”
“It’s not anymore. It’s really, really simple.”
I wanted to be with him. I wanted to tell him every secret, every fear, every amazing possibility that came from carrying his baby.
But first I wanted to prove just how I felt about him.
In case revealing the truth destroyed everything we might have had.
Eighteen
Nate
Mandy led me to the shower. She didn’t let me speak, but I already said everything she needed to hear.
And it was more than I ever admitted to any woman.
Mandy was always so warm. Her heat boiled inside me, and the soft brush of her skin enraptured me. Her arms tucked around my neck, and her fingers tickled in my hair. I hardened from just her touch.
I’d never let her go.
She refused to admit what she felt for me, but nothing would stop me from making this woman mine. She fell for me, and I caught her. I wasn’t letting go.
I thought it’d be frightening to confront my own feelings.
It wasn’t.
This was the easiest decision I ever made.
The bathroom wasn’t big enough for two people, but we wouldn’t be separated for long. Mandy fit in my arms perfectly. Why didn’t I realize she belonged there long ago?
I kissed her, nibbling her lip and flicking her tongue. I’d do anything to hear her quiet little mew, and I do even more to turn it into a moan. I ripped my shirt off, battling against her touch to pull hers off too. Her fingers brushed my skin, as if she finally gave herself permission to enjoy what I could offer.
She had every permission, every right, and every reason to touch me.
I was hers.
I tugged her shirt off. Jesus, her tits got bigger every time I saw them.
That was a damn nice surprise.
Not that Mandy wasn’t absolutely perfect before, but now she was curvier, more beautiful, and utterly feminine. What was it about this woman that made me want more? Desperation threaded my veins. I craved to touch her, hold her, take her as my own. Her silken body lured me close, and something primal hardened my cock.
Desire was too sweet an instinct.
I had to prove she was mine once and for all.
Her bra dropped to the floor. The chocolate-dark of her skin warmed under my hand. I cupped her breast and rolled my thumb and finger over the hard, waiting bud. My mouth watered for a taste, but her hands worked quicker than my lust-addled mind. She shimmied from her yoga pants.
Oh, Christ. She wasn’t wearing panties.
I’d drop to my knees and worship this woman. Just one taste. Just one lick.
Just one quivering, mouth-watering, creamy bite from her most sensitive secret.
Mandy took my hand before I knelt down. Her sweet smile turned sultry, and she glanced at the shower.
Fuck it. It didn’t matter how. Either on the floor or under the water, Mandy was getting wet.
I kicked off my jeans and gathered her into my arms. I flipped the water on too hot, but I didn’t care. Nothing burned more than my blood, and the steaming droplets striking my back soothed me, calming me with a sting before I overwhelmed the woman I poised to attack.
I shielded her from the water until it ran cooler. The beaded heat struck my skin, and she teased me with the sensual caress of her fingertips. Her touch traced my muscles, my pecs. She smirked and drew her nail over my nipple. My cock hardened. Twitching. Her hands lowered, but not quick enough, lost within the hard-packed strength of my abs.
I grunted. “If you knew what you did to me…”
“If you knew what you already did to me.”
I kissed her, pressing her into the sh
ower wall. The water cradled us in warmth and a cocoon of quietness. The rhythmic cascade roared over my rasped breath. Mandy moaned into me, still somehow hotter that the steam. The heat curled between us, and every pelted drop of water urged me on, encouraging me to shelter Mandy with my strength, my body, everything I had for her.
I couldn’t get any harder. My cock pressed against her belly, and she broke my kiss to stroke me. Her hands were tiny, but I appreciated the effort. Every tug, every loving pull enthralled me, and I stared at her hands to watch the dark and light pleasing me with every caress.
I strained against the near agony of her touch. Mandy giggled, even as I pinned her against the wall, my arms on either side of her shoulders. She wasn’t going anywhere.
She squeezed my cock. I nearly came then, imagining how sexy she’d look splashed with my desire.
“I never showered with a woman before.” I swore as her pace increased. “First time for me too.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Do what?”
“You don’t have to make me feel better about giving you my virginity.” She slowed her motions, but her delicate fingers wrapped so lovingly over my cock I had to force myself not to come. “I wanted it to be you. And I’m glad it was you.”
“If I had known—”
She got a little mischievous. She yanked me, drawing me closer with a sexy smile. “You couldn’t have done it any better than you did, Nate. Every time you touch me it’s good.”
“I’m not a man who settles for good.”
“You’re not just good enough.” Her words quieted. She nibbled on her lip. “You’re more than I thought you were. When I close my eyes at night, I see you. I dream of you. I wake up thinking of you.”
There she was, finally brave enough to speak some of the truth, to tell me how she felt, what she needed.
And all I had to do was drop three hundred bucks on taco supplies, cook for four hours, then seduce her while confessing more to her than I’d ever admitted to any other woman.
Best decision of my life.
I kissed her, tasting her full lip and savoring every moment our bodies touched without any barrier. She quieted again, staring at me with eyes wide with sincerity and uncertainty.