I shrug. “Jade, you don’t have to ask me to stop. I’ll do whatever you need me to do to take away your pain.”
“Declan, you don’t know what you’re saying. My life is a bigger mess than you might imagine. There’s a lot of random pain there.”
“Isn’t that true of us all? We’re all just a grand total of our life experience. Some of it’s been great, and some of it sucks — what we put out into the world is just a reflection of what has been given to us. It’s how we process it that makes us winners and losers.”
Jade chuckles softly as she teases, “I didn’t realize you’re such an armchair philosopher.” As we stop in front of the restaurant and I open the door, she twists her back to loosen it. “Trust me Declan, you really don’t want me to dump on you. Some days I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. It wouldn’t be fair to you.”
I flex my muscles a little. “I don’t know, I think I can probably handle it. I’ve got pretty broad shoulders.”
Jade scoffs at me. “Oh, I wouldn’t argue that you don’t have nice shoulders, it’s too bad that you let some poser scribble all over them. Lucky for you, I was able to fix that mess. I hope you learned your lesson about letting a semi-drunk friend practice his tattooing skills on you.”
“Hey, I thought it was being a good friend,” I argue. “He didn’t actually tell me he was drunk until he was halfway through the tattoo. By that point, I was already committed and there wasn’t much else I could do. Besides, it will never happen again. I swear from here on out I’ll never get any artwork done outside of Ink’d Deep.”
Jade grins at me and her whole face lights up as she quips, “Never let it be said that I don’t like a smart man.” She’s beautiful on any day, but when she’s being mischievous it’s a whole other kind of gorgeous. She picks up the menu and studies it before asking me, “What’s good here?”
“Everything!” I answer with a contented sigh as I rub my belly.
Jade shakes her head abruptly as she counters, “No, I really mean it. What’s really good? Don’t take the coward’s way out, I know that every restaurant I’ve ever been to has its own specialties and the rest of the stuff they do is pretty mediocre.”
I set my menu to the side as I answer, “Okay, I hear you now. Personally, I dream about her meatloaf sandwich when I’m on the road. It’s just that good. I also crave the open-faced roast beef and gravy sandwich and the turkey dinner. This is one of the few places you can get a turkey dinner year-round. I love being able to get turkey and stuffing with cranberry sauce in the middle of summer.”
Jade holds her hands up in surrender as she confesses, “I give up. I’m starving and I usually just resort to inviting myself over to Rogue and Ivy’s mom’s house if I want some decent home cooking. Mama Rosa and Isaac have started calling me their ghost daughter because I’m over there so often. I love to have some roast beef and gravy. My grandpop used to have it all the time. He swore that if he ate it before baseball games, his team never lost. Even when I was nine, I knew that wasn’t exactly true, but I never pointed it out to him. I just liked that it became our ritual to have meals together before games.”
“That’s a really sweet memory. In my family it was corned beef and cabbage. They would always make a big pot of it before church and then everybody would eat before watching the football games on Sunday. Well, that is the family members that didn’t have to work. Most of my family works at the lots on Sunday, so it’s not like we have a huge gathering or anything. There’s something that’s so great about corned beef and cabbage. It can sit around for a few hours without much damage. People could come and graze on it as they needed to.”
“Lots? What do you mean lots?” Jade asks with a befuddled expression.
“Ever heard of Stone Auto? ‘Our cars are as solid as a granite, but our prices are rock-bottom’. That’s my family. It’s been in the family for generations and there will likely be many more. I was one of the few to escape – much to my dad’s chagrin.”
“Of course I’ve heard of them. Everybody in Florida has heard of them; it’s like a gargantuan company, they have ads everywhere. Do they still give a pet rock out to every kid who gets dragged along when their parents buy a car? I always thought that was kinda cool. I’m confused though — your last name isn’t Stone.”
“It is and it isn’t,” I start. “My family is an interesting mix of very prideful people. When my grandfather emigrated here from Greece, he decided that Ailín didn’t sound American enough so he changed it to Stone to fit in. The names mean the same thing.”
“Wow, isn’t that funny? Our last names mean the same thing, but Declan isn’t Greek, is it? It sounds Irish to me,” Jade comments.
“That would be my mom’s side of the family who wanted very much to keep naming traditions alive in the family, as apparently I am named after a great uncle.”
“You have met most of my eccentric family, Jett, Diamond... I’m sorry you didn’t get a chance to meet my brother, Onyx, but are you sensing a pattern here?”
“I like your name I think it suits you well. It’s beautiful just like you,” I compliment like the gentleman my mom taught to me to be.
Jade groans. “When did you turn into such a cheese ball? I think I liked you better as the armchair philosopher.”
“Hey,” I protest, “I might actually resemble that remark. I write lyrics for a living. I thought women liked this sappy stuff.”
“I don’t know, maybe some women do. You should know by now that I’m not like most women. Maybe I just march to a different drummer or something, but it just sounded like a really lame line to me. It sounded like something you’d say to any old woman in a bar or at a club to pick her up. It just seemed skeevy to me.”
“Wow! Talk about your fundamental misunderstanding. I was just trying to be nice. I do happen to think that you’re very pretty and that your name reflects your personality and your beauty very well. I wasn’t trying to be creepy at all,” I explain in an attempt to clarify my remarks. “If that’s the way I’m coming off, perhaps I need to work on my interpersonal skills.”
Jade takes a long drink of her iced tea and then sets it down on the table. She runs her fingers through her hair and then takes a rubber band off her wrist and puts her hair in a ponytail. I try not to cringe because I like her hair down and wild. Having long hair myself, I know why she puts it back. It can be a pain to have it fall in your face all the time. When she finishes fiddling with her hair, she sighs and says, “Look, I’m sorry; I might be just a little oversensitive. It’s been a bitch of a week.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?” I offer.
“Sadly, I don’t think so. Unless you can change a lifetime of expectations. It’s really complicated and I don’t think there are any great answers. If there are, I haven’t come up with any and I’ve been trying to work it out for months, if not years.”
“I know that feeling. Sometimes you have to do what’s right for you even if it hurts the people you love.”
“Really? Because you know all the people I love. Do you think I’m big on hurting them?”
“I know you’re not. It’s all a really hard balancing act Sometimes you have to watch out for you, too. What’s your dilemma?”
“Declan, I don’t know if I should even tell you. First of all, you’re going to think I’m crazy and secondly, you’re technically my dad’s client,” she argues after the waitress puts our food down in front of us.
I silently ponder her arguments as we eat our lunch. After a few bites, “I usually try my best to see both sides of an issue before I make up my mind,” I counter. “I’m as much your client as I am your dad’s. Besides, where is it written that you have to have some sort of sacred relationship with me like a priest or a doctor? We’re just friends.”
Jade takes a deep breath and blows it out as she acquiesces, “Okay, it’s not like I have anybody else to tell this to. Marcus is too busy making googly eyes with his wife. Ivy’s
friend Jessica is cool, but she’s got Mitch now. I can’t tell my own family because they’re part of the issue.”
“If there’s anything I can relate to, it’s family being the issue,” I commiserate.
“So, what you’re telling me is if I completely unload on you, you’re not going to go running to my parents to tell them what I said?”
“I told you I had broad shoulders and I meant it. If you need to talk, I’m here for you.”
“I hope I don’t regret this decision,” Jade remarks as she pushes her plate away. “Do you ever wonder if you are destined to do something with your life that’s completely different from what you’re doing right now? I mean, the whole world thinks that I’m wickedly talented at being a tattoo artist. I suppose I probably am, but I don’t know anything else. I’ve done this since before I could write my name. You know my dad had me practicing on old ham hocks when I was in preschool? I don’t remember a time in my life that I didn’t know how to handle tattoo equipment properly. I see objects in life as if they are tattoos. It’s the way I was taught to evaluate things. I know how to shade and layer designs instinctively. I’m grateful to my parents for that knowledge. I can never thank my parents enough for what they’ve taught me. I know so much about art because of what my dad taught me and so much about literature and books from my mom.”
“Your parents are great, so what’s the problem?” I prompt.
“My parents want to retire and travel. My dad really wanted my brother to take over the business, but now that’s not possible, so it’s all on my shoulders.”
“Maybe you could talk to your brother and ask him to share more of the burden,” I suggest.
Jade looks stricken for a moment before tears start to gather in her eyes. “I wish I could. I can’t. I forgot you were touring in Mexico when it happened, so you probably don’t know. My brother committed suicide during his third week of his freshman year of college. My parents never talk about him”
“God, I swear I don’t try to be a jerk,” I exclaim. “When I came back into town everything with the shop had changed and I thought something must’ve gone wrong with the remodel or something — they had your street shut down for weeks and I figured business was just slow. I didn’t ask any questions because I didn’t want to stress anybody out. I’m so sorry Jade, that must’ve been awful.”
“It’s the worst pain I’ve ever been through in my life. Even though he was older than me, we were sort of like twins. We lived out of each other’s pockets. People said we were like two sides of a coin. I don’t know that I’ll ever be whole again. It’s like part of my heart is missing — the syncopation is off in my life.”
“I can only imagine. But how would stepping away from Ink’d Deep help with that?” I ask. “That place is as close to a family as I’ve ever seen, even if you take your dad out of the equation.”
“Onyx was going to be my path out of the business. We had it all planned out. He knew what I wanted to do, and he was totally supportive. He was going to go to college to show my dad that it was safe for me to go away to school. The plan was that Onyx was going to go to school and major in art so that he could come back and work at the tattoo shop. He was the one who was supposed to take over for Dad. After he finished school, I was going to go to college and become a teacher. I wanted to be able to teach kids about the power of learning about arts and English and being creative. More importantly, I wanted to teach about being true to yourself in setting up for who you are and the power of believing in yourself and your dreams.”
“That sounds like an amazing plan, I’m sorry that it never had a chance to come true. The world needs more teachers with your kind of passion,” I reply.
“You have no idea,” Jade responds tearfully. “Onyx, my beautiful, talented, creative brother, probably killed himself because some strange kids that he barely even knew convinced him that he wasn’t worth anything because he was different from them. What if more people had been in his life to teach him to stand strong and believe in himself when others didn’t? Would he still be here today? What if my role in life isn’t to draw pretty pictures on people’s bodies, but to be that one voice in someone’s head that reminds them that they are worth it when they feel like they are out of choices?”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, Jade, but teachers make crap pay. Although I don’t know exactly how much you make at Ink’d Deep, I know it’s a solidly successful shop and your pieces go for a premium amount of bank. I also know that you’re booked up for months in advance. You are more booked up than any other tattoo artist in the shop; believe me I know. I’ve tried to make an appointment with you — I know personally how hard it is.”
“Yeah, so?” Jade snaps at me.
“All I’m saying is that you have an incredible, God-given talent as an artist and it would be a shame to lock that away in the classroom somewhere so that they could pay you pennies. You could be making tons of money that you could give to some charity somewhere where they could put qualified professionals in the classroom to help teach those skills that you want students to have,” I argue.
“Hey, Declan? Does your family think you’re pretty good at the art of the sale?” Jade asks me in the ultimate non sequitur.
“Yeah, they call me a natural, why?” I inquire, puzzled by the change in topic.
She throws her napkin on the table as she remarks, “Finish your lunch, Declan; suddenly I’m not hungry anymore. I’m going home.”
To all the soul-mates out there.
Whether you find yours
through adoption,
online dating,
or the old fashioned way—
Love them the best you can.
Welcome to the family Elizabeth.
“I thought I told you guys not to do this crap!” I protest as I examine the 356 email messages from the BrainsRSexy online dating service. “Where did you guys find that stupid picture of me? I don’t even recognize that shirt and I swear I haven’t had that of color eye shadow since I had braces.”
Marcus raises an eyebrow at me, “You sat still long enough for braces?” he asks sarcastically.
Sticking my tongue out through my sparking white Chiclet teeth like a six you old, I ask again, ”Funny, but seriously, where’d you get that picture?”
Marcus looks up from where he’s sketching a design on the light-box and replies with a shrug, “I don’t know. I wasn’t really paying attention. We were all playing pool and online poker on the computer, and someone thought it would be funny to set up a profile for you. Somebody probably had it on their Facebook or Instagram or something.”
“First of all, unless you guys are going to pay me like a reality show and come attached with Ashton Kutcher, you really should leave the punking to the professionals, because this really sucks,” I state emphatically as I turn the computer screen toward Marcus.
He cringes as he watches a particularly colorful Vine video showing things a girl should never see even for six seconds.
Ducking his head back toward the light-board, he mumbles an apology in my direction, “Oh man Rogue!” he exclaims in disgust. “I feel like I need to apologize for my entire gender. I swear not everyone’s like that. There are some pretty nice people on this site. My brother met his fiancée on this site. He swore to me that there wasn’t anything creepy involved.”
I’m starting to feel a little bit bad for Marcus as he rakes his fingers through his spiky blond hair making it stand on end. He looks like he’s had an unfortunate accident with a fully charged outlet. He’s wearing large gauges in his ears today; so with his hair, piercings and many tattoos, he looks very fierce. In reality, he’s about as scary as a golden retriever.
Usually, I would have a little bit of fun at Marcus’s expense. Yet, he seems so upset over my displeasure that I’m not sure he might not stroke out at this point.
I sigh as I concede, “Look, you might be right. Some of these guys seem like they could be normal enough.”
I narrow my eyes and pin him with my meanest stare. “But, you’re not off the hook. You are supposed to be my best friend. That means you watch my back—even if you are slightly buzzed.”
Marcus at least has the good sense to look chagrined as he’s suddenly very interested in getting a precision point on the pencil that he’s sharpening.
“If you ever get another harebrained idea to sign me up for dating service, just ask me first,” I continue. “I might even surprise you and even say yes. But, I’d like to be able to have a free choice in the matter.”
“Done.” Marcus readily agrees. “I know this is going to sound lame now. But, we didn’t do this to hurt you. It’s true that we didn’t factor in the creepaziods, but we thought you may meet some people that would knock you out of your rut and give you something positive to think about.”
I shudder as I remember some of the more egregious pictures in my mailbox. “Trust me, I have lots to think about now. But not much of it’s positive,” I reply. I try for straight sarcasm, but I’m not completely successful in keeping my laughter at bay.
Marcus smirks at my joke as he explains, “Come on, you know what I mean. I was trying to get your mind off of he-who shall-not-mentioned.”
“You mean Lawrence?” I ask as I lift a questioning eyebrow in Marcus’s direction.
“I’m just saying the guy has a lot of nerve for someone whose last name is Poser,” Marcus mutters bitterly.
“Marcus, it’s really sweet for you to be all pissed off about it. But, he is just the latest in a string of guys to assume that just because I work at a tattoo parlor I must be randomly screwing bikers in the back room,” I answer.
“Just because he’s not the only one doesn’t give him a free pass. The guy was supposed to be your boyfriend. He should’ve known better than to believe the stereotype. Wasn’t he also the charmer that said that you’d be perfect for giving him ‘little tax deductions’ because of your wide Hispanic hips?”
Sheltered Hearts (A Hidden Hearts Novel Book 2) Page 25