by May, W. J.
Rae coughed as another memory rushed forward. One she’d tried to suppress a long time ago. “When I was about five…he got mad at me one night. I’d been crying about monsters under my bed. He came into my room really pissed off, and told me the monsters that lived in our house didn’t hide under beds or in closets. They were out in the open and fearless. I, of course, started screaming because what five year old isn’t terrified of monsters? And now he’d just told me they weren’t scared of anything and didn’t have to hide. Basically, they were going to get me.” What kind of person would do that to a child?
She exhaled, trying to calm the anxiety rising inside her that came with the memory. She tucked a long, Shirley Temple curl behind her ear and flipped her hand. “Anyway, my mom came running into the room. She was so ticked, and they started fighting, which only scared me more. In the end, she picked me up and carried me to her bed. I stayed there all night, and when I woke up in the morning, my dad had already left. Not like he was around much, anyway.”
Devon reached out toward her, but Rae shifted so he couldn’t touch her shoulder. She wasn’t looking for pity. Staring straight ahead, she contemplated that night so long ago. It had always seemed more like a bad dream than a memory. She’d been terrified to sleep with the closet doors open and begged her mom to put stuff under her bed. She also slept with a night-light for years after she’d arrived in America. It seemed so long ago, nothing but little kid stuff. She brought her gaze back to Devon.
He sat, picking at his clean fingernails. “I think your dad was right. There were monsters in your house… he was one of them.”
Surprised, Rae’s mouth dropped open. She didn’t know what to say.
“He had one of the most powerful tatùs.” He brought his head up and looked directly at her. “From what I’ve been told, he got greedy and began to use it for himself.”
“Is that such a bad thing? It was his tatt—tatù. His ink.”
“It goes against the code of our society. The more power he got, the more he wanted. He was insatiable. He didn’t agree with the teachings at the school or helping humankind. He did as he pleased, at any cost. Your dad must’ve had some demons or monsters that took him to the dark side. He liked what they enabled him to do, and what he was able to gain. Others liked it as well and joined him; his ideas and philosophy were very convincing.” Devon stopped talking and bit his lip. He seemed as if he wished he could take back some of the words he’d said.
The sins of the father are the sins of the son, or the daughter. Uncle Argyle’s words hissed inside Rae’s head. She kicked a small rock on the ground and it ricocheted off the brick wall of the Oratory.
Devon jumped, startled from the noise.
“What was my father’s ink?” Rae whispered.
Devon kept silent for a moment. He let out a sigh and shifted in his seat to face her. He bounced his foot, his leg shaking the entire bench with its rhythm. “His looked like a Warlock or Sorcerer…something like that.”
Rae hated the silence that followed. The quiet screamed the truth she didn’t want to hear. Her eyes rounded in horror as she thought about the fire. She grabbed Devon’s forearm.
“My father started the fire, didn’t he? He wanted me and my mother out of the picture! He…” Rae tried to swallow the lump in her throat, unable to continue. Silent tears coursed down her cheeks, and her heart hammered out a funky, erratic rhythm. She covered her face with her hands. No wonder her uncle hated her dad. No wonder everyone stared at her like she was some sort of demon or monster.
“Rae, listen to me.” Devon put his fingers on Rae’s chin, turning her face so that she had to look at him. He wiped her tears away as he talked. “No one knows exactly what happened. A lot of people can speculate, but we don’t actually know. You were there, and if you can’t remember, no one can.”
She shook her head. She was already deep in the memory of that horrible night when her parents had died. There was a fire. Her mother had told her in a calm voice to go to the tree house, but added that she needed to get out as fast as she could. Rae’d dashed out and climbed up the ladder as fast as her little legs could take her. Then she’d waited and waited. She’d gotten bored and started coloring with her new multi pack of markers. The burst of heat and flames from the house had hit like an explosion. Terrified, she’d stayed put until the fire no longer looked like it was reaching out to grab her. A nice fireman noticed her climbing down the ladder and brought her to an ambulance out front. People in uniforms, and suits, and gawkers swarmed her yard and she felt lost in a sea of strangers. Then her uncle arrived and took her away with him. He’d lived in Scotland at the time. They immigrated to the U.S. shortly after.
Devon quietly cleared his throat. “Don’t get caught up in the past. You have your entire life in front of you. When you get inked, you’ll be here, at Guilder, surrounded by people who care about you.” He reached out and wiped away a tear trickling down her cheek.
“I’m sorry.” She pushed his hands away as she stood up, angry at herself for crying in front of him, a stranger. “A lot of stuff I never realized suddenly makes sense now. My dad wasn’t such a great guy.” It was no wonder her uncle had taken her to America -- away from this society of gifted people, away so the memories became dreams instead of reality, away to pretend that none of it was real. But then why did he send me back here? Is he afraid of me? Afraid of what I might become?
Devon stood up. He reached out as if to hold her, but then stuffed his hands into his pockets. He waited a few moments as Rae composed herself before he started talking again. “Hey, everything’s going to be fine. I’m sorry I said too much tonight. I should’ve just let Headmaster Lanford tell you everything. I feel like an idiot opening my stupid mouth.”
Rae turned, and walked to where Devon stood. She gave him a quick hug and instantly let go, slightly embarrassed. “Don’t apologize. It’s okay. It just shows me how much of a friend you’re going to be. You hardly know me. Yet you know all about my past and never, for one moment, judged me the way the other students have.”
Devon stared down at the ground for a moment, like he didn’t want to see the look on her face. “There’s more stuff you’re gonna hear, and you might not like it. The truth doesn’t always feel good, but it’s the truth, and it’s better than being misled. You’ll handle it.”
Rae thought about her uncle. He’d totally lied to her by not saying anything. Realizing she’d been lost in her own thoughts, she almost missed the rest of what Devon was saying.
“… Enjoy the next few months of learning, and when the day does come, you’ll be ready. It’s the best day in the entire world.”
“My birthday?” She zoned into the conversation with Dumbo ears. Rae started pacing in front of the bench. “What’s it like? Do you just wake up with some miraculous change and then start being all gifted and stuff?”
Devon laughed. “It doesn’t quite work like that. Look, I’ve talked enough tonight. We can discuss more during one of our tutoring sessions, and you’ll learn more in your classes. It’s getting close to ten and the dorms get locked then. I don’t think Madame Elpis would appreciate it if Rae Kerrigan’s late.”
Rae looked up to the night sky and heaved a sigh. “Great! I need to act like an angel or everyone’s going to believe I’m some sort of demon.” Devil’s spawn from her father was what she wanted to say. “I’m going to have to be on my best behavior for the next three months.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you still have fun. If I haven’t mentioned it, I have some great connections to some very gifted people. Come on, I’ll walk you back to your dorm. Why don’t we plan on starting your tutoring next week? We can meet in the library at Aumbry House. Then you won’t have to worry about getting in trouble with curfew.”
“Sounds like a good idea to me. It’s Molly’s birthday tomorrow. I feel a little guilty. I didn’t go out and buy her a gift, even something little. She is my roommate after all.”
“She�
�s already getting the best present anyone at sixteen could ever wish for.” Devon laughed. “I can pull some strings in the kitchen for you. I’m sure I can get Sally, our chef, to make a cake at breakfast tomorrow. Molly might get a kick out of that.”
“Awesome. I’ll owe you big time.” Despite the darkness, Rae still looked away so Devon couldn’t see her blush. She was seriously developing a huge crush on him.
“Let’s see what your tatù is. I might take you up on that.” He elbowed her. “Just kidding.”
Rae’s watch beeped, reminding her of the time. Curfew. They both stood and walked back to Aumbry House. Rae started up the steps to the front door. She turned to wave good-bye, but he’d already gone.
She ran up the last few steps to the front door just as Madame Elpis came walking out of her suite, big brass key in hand. Her brows came together as she stared down the length of her nose at Rae. Rae dropped her head, staring at the floor as she passed her, and ran toward the marble steps as fast as she could.
Halfway up to the first floor, she caught sight of the pay phone below her on the main floor. She turned and glanced around for Madame Elpis. The headmistress must’ve gone into her room already. Rae dashed over to the pay phone and dialed the overseas numbers for a collect call to her uncle. He had some explaining to do. She’d rather talk to him down here with no one around than argue with him in the room where Molly’s ears would absorb every little word, and probably repeat it to anyone who would listen.
After ten rings, she hung up. She’d forgotten about the time change. Her aunt and uncle were probably out for dinner. She’d have to try again in the morning.
Rae trotted into her room, deep in thought. She glanced up to see Molly standing in front of the full-length mirror, trying to see her behind her. The girl had another mirror in her hand, trying to angle it so she could see if there was anything on her lower back.
When she noticed Rae, Molly grinned sheepishly. “I’m curious if there’re any pre-ink, or if I’ll just wake up tomorrow with it. Nobody will tell me what’s going to happen.”
“I wish I could help you. I have no idea.” Rae walked over and squinted as she checked Molly’s skin. It was completely smooth and spotless. “Sorry. I don’t see a thing.”
“Nothing? Crap! Well, be prepared for screeching and wailing tomorrow morning.” Molly stomped her foot. “Shoot! I wish it was morning now. I’m never going to be able to sleep tonight.”
Rae could see this was going to be a long night if her roommate continued to be all Molly-ish about it. As interested as she was about the process, she’d had a really long and draining day and wanted to get some sleep. She had to think fast. “Maybe the ink process acts like the tooth fairy. It won’t come unless you’re asleep. If you stay awake, then maybe it’ll wait until you’re not paying attention to mark you.”
“What? Heck, then what’re we waiting for? Hurry. Let’s get to bed. We need to have the lights out, curtains shut and both of us asleep so I can hurry up and get inked. This is going to take forever if I’m awake all night.” Rae gave herself a mental high-five. Mission accomplished.
“Sounds good to me. I’m exhausted again.” Rae headed to the bathroom. When she returned, she saw that Molly had already closed the curtains. She lay curled up in her bed, covers pulled up tight. She popped her head up just as Rae reached for the light switch.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you. Dean Carter stopped by. He wants you to meet him in his office after breakfast tomorrow.”
Rae’s brain registered the name, realizing that this was also someone she wanted to talk to, but she felt too tired to get excited. “Thanks.” Rae yawned and snuggled down in her covers. “Now get some sleep so we can find out what hidden talent’s going to wake up inside of you.”
Chapter 7
Tatù
“Rae…Rae…RAE!!!” The annoying whispers wouldn’t stop.
Rae rolled over, trying to force her eyes open. In the darkness, her watch’s bright light kept her from seeing the time. She threw the pillow over her head to muffle out the hoarse voice coming from the bed near her. Hadn’t she just gotten into bed? It couldn’t be morning already.
“Four hours,” Rae mumbled. “Then I’ll do anything you want.”
“Come on. Wake up and tell me if you see anything on my back.”
Maybe having my own room would be nice. “Do you know what time it is?”
“About two a.m., but I swear I felt something and want to see if anything’s there. Come on. I’ll do it for you…”
Rae sighed. Way too early. She groaned when she heard Molly flip on the light and felt the thump of Molly’s pillow on top of her own.
“All right. I’m up, I’m up.” She rolled out of bed, rubbing her eyes at the brightness. She stumbled over to Molly’s bed and with one eye open, lifted the back of Molly’s nightshirt to peek at her lower back.
“What do you see? What is it? Ohhh…I can’t look myself. I’m so excited! It’s there, isn’t it? What is it?”
“Nope. Nothing there but your pale white skin. No tatù, no ink, nothing. It’s too early. Too early for the tatù and too early for me.” Rae yawned and flipped the lights back off. Dropping onto bed she pulled the duvet over her head. “Go back to sleep and don’t call me until it’s at least seven. I like my sleep, or the little I can get.”
“Fine. I’ll try to keep quiet, but I’m positive I felt something. I’m just having a hard time sleeping. My dad told me if I get something really cool, he’ll buy me a car. They don’t allow them until our senior year, but maybe the headmaster or the dean would let me have one here this year. What kind of car do you think I should get? Hey, are you awake? Rae? Oh man, you’re asleep again! Damn English-American!”
Rae rolled over and drilled Molly’s pillow back at her. The thud muffled Molly’s voice, but only for a few seconds. Exhaling a long, silent breath, she blocked out the noise and went back to sleep.
At half past seven, Rae drifted back to consciousness. Sleep tempted her, but as she cracked her eyes open, she noticed Molly dead to the world, facing the wall, her pj top slightly lifted. Curiosity made her crawl out of her bed to get a closer look.
There, right along Molly’s spine, rested a unique tatù. No swelling or redness around the ink that hadn’t been there hours before. It seemed like it had always been there, like a birthmark. Fascinated, she got closer and could see a bolt of lightning, along with something else. She couldn’t make out the circle ink and didn’t want to touch Molly’s shirt to see it better. Straightening, she debated waking Molly but had a feeling her roomie probably hadn’t been sleeping very long.
Crawling out of bed, she slipped out the door and headed down the stairs. At least marble didn’t creak like the wooden stairs back home. Speaking of home… She checked her watch. It was pretty early in New York. She picked up the pay phone and then hung up. Her hand hung midair, debating if she should call Uncle Argyle.
Screw it. He owed her an explanation. Swiping the phone card with more force than was needed, she grabbed the head piece and punched the numbers into the phone. She tucked the phone under her chin and leaned against the wall. Out of habit, she tapped her bare toe against the heel of her other foot.
Nine…Ten…Eleven…Twelve…No one picked up. Middle of the night and no answer? Either they were out at some bed and breakfast or they had turned the ringer off at for the night. She’d try again later. She trudged back up the stairs and quietly slipped back into her room.
Now what? She stood in the center of the room, not quite sure what to do. Seeing her desk, she went and sat down at it. Gingerly, she opened the drawer, trying to avoid the squeak. She pulled out a sheet of stationary and a pen. At least if she wrote a letter, she could get some of her thoughts organized. There was no sense in e-mailing Uncle Argyle. He wasn’t computer literate. Rae toyed with the pen before putting it to paper.
Dear Uncle Argyle,
Why didn’t you tell me? About you, or Mom? Or any of this? I had a
right to know before coming back to England. It’s pretty crappy of you not to tell me.
I want to know more about my parents, my mom and my dad. Everyone here seems to know about my past -- everyone but me.
Call me when you get this.
PS. Please tell Aunt Linda I’m settling in fine and am enjoying myself.
Love, Rae
She reread the letter, noticing how deeply the writing was embedded into the paper. She’d been pressing down hard with the pen. Shoving the letter into an envelope, she quickly licked it shut and addressed it, too scared she’d chicken out. She stuck it in her bag. Later, she’d ask one of the students where to post it.
Rae heard Molly stir and swung around in her chair around to watch. Molly sat straight up, a huge goofy grin on her face.
“Happy Birthday.” Rae smiled, literally feeling the excited buzz in the room.
“Thanks. It’s there, isn’t it? I know it is. I can feel something’s different inside of me -- like there’s something new running through my veins. I bet this is better than sex.” She hopped off her bed and jumped to the mirror.
Rae waited quietly on her chair as Molly examined her tatù.
“What is that?” She turned left and right, trying to get a full view. “I see the zigzag. Oh…it’s a bolt of lightning. Cool.” She inched closer to the mirror, squinting. “What’s the thing beside it? A ball? I wonder if it’s supposed to be a balloon. It’s shaped kinda weird. Crap. I got a boring ink. There’s nothing sexy about this.” She dropped her shirt, only to lift it back up again. “The one mark’s detail’s so small compared to the bolt of lightning. Is it a cloud? Does this mean I’m going to have to wait until it storms to figure out what my gift is?” Molly ran to the window and looked out. “I heard it isn’t supposed to rain for, like, two weeks.”