Lily scuttles over, exasperated, as her dark hair begins to slip out of its ponytail. It’s evident the afternoon rush is getting to her, and there’s a cutthroat look on her face that says bite me and die. Come to think of it, she’s had that same look on her face for the two decades I’ve known her. I’m pretty sure she came out of the womb that way, too.
“Lottie”—she snips my name out like a reprimand—“might I suggest the next time you’re tempted to bring a dessert to some overstuffed, overhyped, gathering of the sheeple, you simply say no? This is getting a little ridiculous, don’t you think? The man hasn’t been dead for twenty-four hours and we’ve already cranked up the cake pop production three hundred percent. I had to put in another order for melting chocolate.”
“You might have a point. It would have been much more cost effective for me to have brought a platter of sugar cookies. Sugar is so much cheaper than chocolate by the pound.”
“That’s not what I meant.” She tosses her hands in the air and growls.
Naomi Turner pops up on the other side of the counter, looking witchy with her long dark hair swooping down her back in waves, her lips colored with a dark shade of crimson.
“What’s the matter, Lily?” Naomi lifts her shoulder our way. “Have you finally cycled through all the men in Vermont?”
Lily glowers at her old BFF. “You should know. You took all my leftovers.”
Naomi gags. “You little—”
“Okay, okay.” I hold my hands up in an effort to stop the war before it begins. “Do the two of you realize you were once best friends? You let a man, of all things, come between you. And at the moment, neither of you is dating the two-timing jerk.”
That two-timing jerk just so happens to be Noah’s brother, Alex. He’s just as hot as Noah and as equally in demand. When he couldn’t make a decision between these two, he simply dated them both. Naomi and Lily were in on it, and, worse yet, they were fine with it. But their friendship didn’t survive the dating disaster, and now all they do is bicker.
Naomi rolls her eyes. “I don’t need a best friend, Lottie. I’m too busy running the Evergreen to deal with this extracurricular drama.” The Evergreen Manor is the only other place for tourists to reside in Honey Hollow outside of my mother’s small B&B. “And my sister is getting married at the Evergreen in just a few weeks. I have to make sure everything is perfect. That’s why I’m here.” She shoots me with her death rays.
Carlotta spots us from the walkway that leads to the Honey Pot and charges on over.
“Wait for me!” she calls out as she lands before us. “Go ahead, Naomi. Tell her what we’ve planned.”
I blink over at her. “The two of you are plotting something?”
Lily’s chest bucks with a dry laugh. “Careful, Lottie. I suspect the body count is about to rise.”
“Oh, shoo.” Naomi waves her old friend off. “This doesn’t concern you.”
Lily scoffs. “It does if your plans include this bakery.”
“Fine.” Naomi looks my way. “Carlotta and I are hosting Keelie’s bachelorette party and I wanted to order up a cake in the shape of a man’s—”
I hold up a hand before she can say it, especially since Evie just lifted a brow in this direction.
“I’m sorry, Naomi. We don’t do naughty cakes. But I’ll be glad to cater all of Keelie’s favorite desserts for free. What did the two of you decide we’re doing for the bachelorette party, anyway?”
I was a little hurt that I was kept in the dark regarding the event planning once I found out about it, but I’m not one to fight with Naomi so I backed off. Besides, Naomi has class and style—and the ability to override Carlotta’s lack thereof in both the aforementioned categories. I’m sure this is going to be a fun, yet memorable affair.
Carlotta slams her hand over the counter as if reaching for the invisible buzzer first. “Camping!”
I wrinkle my nose at Naomi. “Really? That’s what you came up with? Keelie might be marrying a man who goes by the nickname Bear, but in no universe is she looking forward to peeing in the woods at midnight.”
Naomi shakes her head. “We’re not camping. I’ve already vetoed that idea twice.” She shoots Carlotta the stink eye. “What I thought we would do is hire a makeup artist and a hair stylist to come by the Evergreen and we can have glamour shots done of us all. Think about it, Lottie. You can give both Noah and Everett something to sit on their nightstands.”
Carlotta groans, “We can put on lipstick and brush our hair in the woods. All the rich movie stars are doing it. What do you think glamping is all about?”
“That’s not glamping.” I shake my head. “And no matter how many porta-potties you threaten to stack next to our tent, it’s still a hard no. Someone has to look out for Keelie’s bladder in all this. And I’m sorry, Naomi, but Keelie probably wants to do something a little livelier than getting all gussied up with nowhere to go.”
Carlotta nods. “You’re right, Lot. We’ll get gussied up and head out to one of those banana hammock places out in Leeds. We’ll get hammered out of our minds doing whiskey shots, and since Keelie is preggo, she can be the designated driver.”
Evie lets out a whoop. “Banana hammocks? Now you’re talking my language.”
Everett shoots a look my way. “Lemon.”
“Don’t worry.” I shake my head. “We’ll come up with something a little more wholesome than that.” I hope.
Another slew of customers crush their way through the door, and I can’t help but eye the quickly dwindling sweet treats on the shelves.
“Excuse me,” I say, zipping to the back where I spot a supernatural spectacle in my office.
Not only is that tiny little ghostly cutie stuffing his face full of my tiramisu layer cake, but Nell is standing right there next to him with a fork in her hand.
“Nell!” I gasp as I enter the office and slam the door behind me. “Oh, Nell, how I’ve missed you!” I lunge over to hug her and take in how real she feels as I happily rock her back and forth.
For so long I knew her only as Keelie’s grandmother, but we’ve always had a special connection. It wasn’t until a few months ago that I learned she raised Carlotta as her own daughter. Carlotta was actually Nell’s sister’s child. Anyhow, Nell raised her and that’s all that counts. But when Carlotta had me, she made Nell promise not to take me from the Lemons. So Nell sort of raised me from afar and we grew close—so close, I don’t believe we missed a minute of our grandmother-granddaughter relationship. If anything, we’re stronger for it.
“What are you doing here?” I beam as I pull back to take a better look at the woman I’ve loved all my life. “On second thought, don’t answer that. Unless, of course, it’s a good thing.”
“Why, yes, it’s a good thing.” Her voice gives that old familiar trill. Nell’s short gray hair looks a touch lavender as it frames her face, and her pale blue eyes have that same sparkle they did when she was living. Nell has come back to me before, but each time it feels just as special. “Keelie is getting married. I couldn’t stand to miss it.” She lifts her chin a notch. Her wrinkles look softer, her skin holds an otherworldly peachy glow, and there are tiny stars that twinkle around her in an aura of light. “And what’s new with your love life, Lottie Lemon? Last I left you, things were a bit in the air between you and two different men.”
“Nothing has changed on that front. But Everett and I have a daughter now. She’s fifteen, a real firecracker, and her name is Everly, but nobody dares call her that. She prefers to go by Evie.”
“Evie? Fifteen?” Nell looks stunned as if I’ve hit her over the head with a fifteen-year-old shovel. “My goodness, how long has it been since I’ve last visited?”
“Not that long. One of Everett’s exes, Cressida Bentley, was stalking me by way of death threats written over charred sugar cookies, and well, when she was caught with her hand in the proverbial cookie jar, she quickly whipped out her ace. Or so she thought. It turns out, Judge Baxter w
as still going to throw the book at her no matter how many heirs she produced for him. She was hiding poor Evie at a boarding school nearby, and she didn’t even visit the girl for years at a time. Everett and I are doing our best to make up for her crummy childhood. She’s really taken to me, and I’ve really taken to her. So when she asked if she could call me Mom, I couldn’t refuse. The poor girl has never really had a mother, and now she does. I’m proud to call her my daughter. Oh, and I might have married Everett last Christmas, but that was just to keep his trust fund going.”
“Lottie.” Nell leans back as if to get a better look at me.
“Sooo you’re marrried,” Bruiser brays the words out adorably as he floats in this direction. “You’re a family gal. I like that. I had a wife and sixteen kids myself. There’s nothing better than spending time with your own broood.”
Nell blinks over at me. “So you’ve chosen Everett. I’m so very glad to hear it. I’ll admit, I was a bit worried you wouldn’t get settled. Sometimes life throws one too many good choices your way and possesses a difficulty the heart can’t seem to work its way around. In that situation, everyone sort of loses because you don’t get to bond and enjoy a family unit the way you were destined to all along.”
“Oh, I’m not really with Everett. Our marriage is strictly a business arrangement. He was letting me work on my relationship with Noah, but as of late Noah has backed off and asked me to do the same thing with Everett.”
An odd sound comes from Bruiser. “So what you’re saying is that you’ve lost them boooth.”
“No, that’s not true.” My fingers float to my lips. “Have I?”
Nell moans. “Oh, Lottie.” She takes up my hand, and I would swear on all that is good that I can feel her warm flesh. “What are you going to do?”
“Maybe I should date Everett and see if that goes anywhere.”
Nell inches back with a look of dismay. “Are you suggesting that you and Noah went nowhere?”
“No, but with Everett standing before me, it’s impossible for me to go on with my life with Noah.”
She gives a simple shrug. “That must be why the powers that be allowed me to come back to Honey Hollow.” A warm smile takes over her features. “Well then. I’d better head off to spy a bit on your suitors, and we’ll see what we can come up with for you.” She gives a sly wink. “We’ll talk soon!” She up and disappears into a spray of lavender stars.
Bruiser floats up another notch. “All the more cake for me.” The miniature sweetie pie looks my way. “You look like you could use a slice yourself. It might just help you come up with answers.”
I pull Bruiser to me and dot his precious head with a kiss. “Something tells me, I could eat my way through the bakery and still not come up with answers.”
Nell is back and she’s going to try to solve the riddle of the Sphinx, which is ironic seeing that the answer to the riddle of the Sphinx was a man, but in my case, which man is it?
Chapter 5
There is a reason for every season of our lives, and there is a reason for every person in them.
Some share our joy. Some share our sorrow. Some help us change for the better. Some alter the course of our lives forever.
Noah and Everett fit into all four of those categories for me. I think it’s awfully nice of Nell to try to intercede and help me figure out who I should spend my life with, but the truth is, I’d like to spend my life with both.
It’s selfish, I know.
Both men deserve to have every bit of happiness that a woman can offer. And while I’ve been trying to see where Noah and I are going, Everett has been sorely shortchanged in that department. Considering the fact he was quite the womanizer beforehand, I’ve asked a gargantuan feat from him. Not that I literally asked. He offered.
While I was contemplating life and matters of the heart, Keelie waddled into the bakery with her arms gesticulating wildly. It turns out, Debbie stopped by the Honey Pot to say hello before heading off for a morning workout across the street at Swift Cycle.
I asked Lily to man the bakery and took off with Carlotta and Evie in tow as we headed across the street just before class officially began.
Noah’s ex-wife, Britney, owns the Swift Cycle Gym. She has them sprinkled all over Vermont now, and she’s doing really well with them, too.
It’s cool inside and holds the scent of elastic and coffee. There’s a rack of gym clothes for sale at the registration desk, and Evie is quick to pick out a basic black uniform that sets Everett back a cool three hundred dollars. I told him I didn’t think it was a good idea to put a fifteen-year-old on his credit card, but he assured me he made it clear to Evie that it was only to be used for emergencies.
“What?” she balks as she looks my way. “You don’t expect me to work out in my jeans, do you?”
“Pfft.” Carlotta sprays me with spittle as she tries to hold back a laugh. “And ruin those shredded disasters? God forbid you get another ten or twelve holes in them.” Carlotta proceeds to whip off her T-shirt and exposes us to an old ratty bra, mostly white with a twinge of cheddar cheese yellow around the edges.
“Eww, gag!” Evie grips her throat as if nerve gas were just unleashed. “Make it stop!”
“Believe me,” I say. “I feel the exact same way.”
“Oh hush, both of you.” Carlotta reaches back and does the unthinkable. She unhooks her bra, sending pockets of wrinkled flesh dropping right down to her belly.
“For the love of all things holy!” I shout as I whip my apron off and drape it over her. “What in the heck are you thinking?”
“I’m having a hot flash!” Carlotta smacks my hands away from her bare chest, and I gladly retreat. “The two of you act as if you haven’t seen a pair of love grenades before.”
Evie gives a much more significant retch, and I point her toward the dressing room.
“Change,” I instruct her before turning back to my nude look-alike. “Carlotta, are you insane? You’re in public. We can’t just run around topless in the wild. It breaks all sorts of city ordinances.”
She ticks her head. “I’m sure Mayor Nash would make an exception to the rule for me.”
“Well, I won’t.” A tall blonde strides in with her creamy hair pulled back into a ponytail, her long bangs seductively covering one eye.
“Hey, Brit.” I give her a brief smile. Britney was only briefly married to Noah. She’s the very same wife that Noah forgot to mention to me early on in our relationship while they were still hitched, thus turning our love life onto its ear and we’ve yet to recover. And after a rocky road of our own, Britney and I are actually friends now. In fact, she’s dating my half-brother, Finn. “Carlotta’s having a hot flash and she’s decided going topless is the best solution.”
Britney wrinkles her nose. “Exercise helps with that. Try two classes a day for a week. That should do you good.”
Carlotta growls, “More like do me in.” She ties the apron around her neck, and I have a feeling that’s as much as she’s willing to compromise, so we head into the spacious room with navy painted walls. A large screen television sits at the front, showing a lone woman cycling through a burnt red desert. Rock music belts through the speakers at an intense volume and women with matching ponytails and matching black workout clothes, which look as if they have been vacuum-sealed onto their bodies, wander the room.
Brit leans in. “All right, Lottie, who are you here to investigate?”
I give a quick scan of all the friendly faces. They’re all far too perky for this early hour if you ask me.
My lips twist. “You really do know me, don’t you?”
She tucks her head to the side. “That’s what makes you and Noah such a perfect pair. You both think the same way.”
Any trace of a smile quickly dissipates from me.
She clucks her tongue. “Don’t tell me you and Noah are a thing of the past? You’ve opted for Essex?”
Outside of his mother and sister, Britney is the only other wo
man who refuses to call him by his middle name—who hasn’t slept with him, of course.
“I’ve opted for both.” I give a little shrug.
Her hot pink lips round out. “You’re sleeping with both?”
“What? No!” A brief steamy scene hijacks my mind before I startle back to reality.
“Well, why not?” She belts out a husky laugh. “You’ve really got the best of both worlds. But I get it. You want to hold fast to tradition. And tradition means you have to choose. Which one’s better in bed?”
“I’m not saying.” My cheeks heat ten shades. “They are both equally spectacular, and no truer words have ever been said.”
Her chest bucks with a silent laugh. “It’s Essex, isn’t it?”
“No. Didn’t you hear what I just said?”
A woman chortles from behind and we turn to find Naomi and Debbie standing there with guilty grins on their faces.
Naomi scoffs. “Debbie, Lottie here is the town trollop.”
Carlotta pops up with her bits and pieces hanging every which way, with the exception of staying put behind that apron.
“Lottie is a baker,” Carlotta is quick to correct. “She gets to be a tart.”
I roll my eyes.
Naomi leans toward Debbie. “I’d steer clear of her if you want to maintain your good name.”
“None of that is true,” Britney says. “Lottie is a good time, that’s all. And her two boyfriends seem to agree with the sentiment.” She gives a quick wink my way. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to start the class now.”
Debbie hops onto a bike and I hop onto the bike right next to hers. Naomi bookends her on the other side and both Carlotta and Evie end up to my left.
Cake Pop Casualties (MURDER IN THE MIX Book 22) Page 4