“Adam, he… well, he got hurt,” Dax explains, a pained look in his eyes.
“Is it… is he okay?” I choke down the overwhelming feeling of terror that washes over me.
“Yeah, he’ll be okay. Just… just don’t baby him. He’ll act like everything is fine, and you need to go along with it. He doesn’t like pity.” Dax studies me intently, looking down, making sure I can handle this.
Not able to find my voice, I nod instead and wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans. Dax inhales deeply and pushes open the door. I can’t help the gasp that escapes as I take in Adam’s home, if you can even call it a home.
There’s hardly any furniture in the small, square space, just a crumbling couch and a shoddy table with two metal folding chairs. A crooked wooden unit holds a tiny television in one corner. Clothes, rubbish, and other random stuff are scattered around the room, obviously left where they landed and quickly forgotten.
I reach over and squeeze Dax’s hand. Adam lives here? He glances down at me and presses his mouth into a tight line. “C’mon, in here.” He points with his chin and leads me to a door off of the main room.
I’m not sure what I expected to see, exactly, but it certainly isn’t the sight in front of me. My hand flies up to cover my mouth, squelching the cry that threatens to tear from my throat. I have to physically swallow down the bile that churns painfully in my stomach.
“Ellie?” Adam grunts as his head rolls to look at me from where he’s sitting on a dingy mattress all twisted up in the sheets, his back propped against the wall. “You came.”
“Yeah,” I manage to croak as I move to sit beside him on the mattress on the floor of his tiny room. Taking his clammy hand in both of mine, I clasp it tightly and hold back the tears I feel welling up behind my eyes. “What happened?” I caress his hand gently, loving the excuse to touch him, even as the horror of the situation sinks in.
Be strong Ellie. Screaming would not be helpful right now.
He attempts a smile, but hisses in pain and grimaces, his normally pale skin even whiter than usual. “Nothing, don’t worry about me.” His eyelids are heavy and he’s having a difficult time keeping them open.
My eyebrows rise in disbelief. Don’t worry? How can he expect me not to worry considering he looks like he was run over by a train?
I quietly take in every injury on his beautiful body, carefully cataloguing each one. His gorgeous face is black and blue and swollen, and there’s a deep cut on his lip that threatens to crack and bleed at any moment. He’s wearing only a loose pair of navy blue athletic shorts, so I can see that he has more dark bruises covering his ribcage on both sides. Scratches appear haphazardly across his chest, arms, and knees, some shallow and some deep.
Those injuries are minor, however, because what makes my stomach twist is the giant, dirty bandage across his abdomen that has a large, wet splotch of blood seeping through it.
“Adam, you need to go to hospital,” I encourage soothingly, flicking my eyes over to Dax who is leaning his large body against the doorframe, looking much, much older than seventeen. “Dax, tell him. He needs a doctor.”
“Ellie,” Dax says quietly, his eyes plagued with guilt, “we can’t. The police will get involved if we do and then a stab wound won’t be the worst thing that happens to him.”
“Stab wound!” I leap off of the mattress in astonishment. “What the hell? Who stabbed you Adam? Why would someone do that?”
Adam’s gaze drops to the bed, either unable or unwilling to meet mine. I turn to Dax again, hoping he’ll give me some answers, but when my eyes find the doorframe, Dax is gone.
Turning back to Adam, I sit down and hesitantly lift my trembling hand to his uninjured cheek. My fingers skim along the rough stubble, fluttering gently down to his swollen lips.
“Adam,” I breathe, “who did this?”
He closes his eyes and almost imperceptibly leans into my touch, like a kitten would when you reach down to scratch its ear. “I don’t want to drag you into it, Ellie.”
“Then why am I here?” I ask, still gliding my hand over any bit of undamaged flesh that I can find, skimming over small freckles, a day’s worth of beard, the thrumming pulse at his neck.
Adam’s eyes open and I’m captivated by the intense combination of brown, slate gray, and green that seems to penetrate right through me. “Because I missed you,” he whispers, lifting his hand to drag his fingers across my lips.
I watch as Adam leans in, angling his head toward mine. He winces and I realize that he can’t bend any further because of the pain. Even though I’m worried about him, I can’t help but smile at his efforts. I shift forward to press my lips to his, giving him what he wants. What I want.
He moves his mouth slowly, the pressure so faint that I can hardly feel it. My body and my racing heart are urging me to deepen the kiss, but I don’t, terrified of hurting him. A warm, tingling sensation spreads from my scalp down to my toes and I decide that I never want this glorious feeling to end.
Exhausted from the small effort, Adam breaks the kiss first, slumping back against the wall in the same half-sitting position he was in when I got here. My entire body is tense and crackling with a strange combination of fear and desire. Struggling to control it, I let myself study Adam as he rests.
His eyes are closed again, one lid is swollen and almost black. Down the same side of his face is a large purple stain with a shallow scrape in the middle of it. Adam’s beautiful lips are slightly parted and still damp from our kiss, his lower one cracked and puffy in the center.
My gaze drops down to his torso, which is lean and sculpted like the body of a swimmer or a runner. Cautiously, I touch the corner of his tattered bandage, tugging gradually to try and see the damage.
“Bloody fucking hell,” Adam groans as he weakly tries to bat my hand away. Failing miserably, he lets his arm drop to the mattress from the exertion.
“Adam, this isn’t clean. I need to look at it.” Reassuringly, I put my hand over his and rub my thumb in small circles.
Drained, he doesn’t open his eyes but nods his consent. His head thumps back against the wall, he’s trusting me while he’s at his most vulnerable. I grasp a corner of the bandage again and peel it back as gently as I can manage. The tape is already curling at the edges so it comes off easily. The center of the gauze, however, is stuck to the angry wound.
“Just yank it,” Adam grunts, gritting his teeth together. I look up at his face to be sure that he’s serious. His eyes are squeezed shut and his jaw muscles are pulsing from stress. Bracing one hand on the mattress, I squeeze my own eyes shut and jerk on the gauze, hard.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuuuuckkkk!” Adam screams in agony and hunches over the edge of the mattress, dry heaving from the pain. “Ughhhhh,” he moans, pressing his sweaty face into his pillow when the sensation finally passes.
“I’m sorry!” I cry. “Adam, please, stay on your back, you’re still bleeding.” I help him roll off his side and inspect the stab wound as he gasps in distress. “Jesus, Adam.” The puncture is long, almost four inches, but thankfully not very deep and only seeping a small amount of blood. It’s more of a slice than a stab and it didn’t go through all the layers of skin. I hadn’t realized I was holding my breath until I exhale in relief. Thank god I spent the last year volunteering at the local clinic in Shepherd’s Bush or else I’d have passed out by now.
Toughen up Ellie. You can do this, you’re going to be a nurse someday.
“Where’s the gauze?” I ask lightly, trying to keep my voice calm and reassuring even though inside I feel like screaming.
Adam can’t respond to my question, his entire body is now being wracked with small tremors and his teeth are chattering loudly. I place my hand on his forehead, no fever, which is surprising.
“Dax!” I call out, suddenly overwhelmed and truly afraid for Adam.
“Yeah,” he appears in the doorway only a moment later.
“I need help. I don’t know why he’s shivering
.” I feel helpless, the tears I had held back for Adam’s sake are now coursing freely down my cheeks.
Dax steps into the room and crouches next to the bed. “He was doing that yesterday when I cleaned the wound. It’s a reaction to the pain or the blood loss, I think.”
“Okay,” I respond uncertainly, trusting that Dax knows what he’s talking about. It takes all of my strength, but I’m able to calm myself down some now that I know Adam’s not having a seizure or some sort of fever-induced convulsions. I swallow and steel myself against the nerves that are bubbling up in my gut. “Well, where are the bandages? I need to cover this back up.”
Dax hands me a plastic sack from the other side of the tiny space. “There’s antiseptic ointment in there too,” he says before he gets up and thankfully leaves me alone to play nursemaid.
I patch Adam up the best I know how, which isn’t much. He remains either asleep or unconscious throughout, I’m not sure which, while I tend to him. I allow myself the pleasure of pressing a small kiss to Adam’s damp forehead before I stand up and join Dax in the main room of the flat.
Free from having to pretend to be unaffected under Adam’s gaze, my entire body trembles and I crumple to the floor. It looks cleaner down here than on that dreadful couch, and that doesn’t say much. As I sit, I put my head in my hands and cry. Dax sits next to me and waits patiently for my breakdown to end.
I wipe the tears from my face and stare at the hideous brown carpet. “So, are you going to tell me what happened?” I ask, flicking a random empty Hobnob’s wrapper across the room.
Dax sighs heavily, as if the weight of the world is resting on his massive shoulders. “He doesn’t want me to, but yeah, I will.”
That gets my attention. I lift my head to look at Dax as he explains how his best friend got a four-inch stab wound and about a dozen deep bruises.
“Adam’s brother, Danny…”
“Adam has a brother?” I interrupt.
“Yes, three years older,” Dax huffs as he shoots me an impatient look.
“Sorry, go on,” I mumble, mortified by my outburst. I jam my ragged thumbnail into my mouth and start gnawing on it furiously.
“Right. Anyway, Danny’s a prick and a criminal. He runs drugs around here. In fact, he’s the second in command for one of the biggest dealers in the borough. Been doing it for years.”
My eyes must be popping out of my head because Dax pats my leg and gives me a sad laugh.
“You must know that this isn’t the nicest area in London, Ellie.” Feeling naïve, I purse my lips and nod, pretending that this news doesn’t shock me. “So after the whole… ummmm, confrontation with Murray and Mason, he asked Danny for protection. For you.”
My mouth falls open in shock. “Protection? What does that mean?”
Dax scrunches his brow in confusion and looks at me like I’m stupid. “You think that those two would have left you alone after what happened that day? Haven’t you wondered why they didn’t come after you again? Or bothered you in school? No one ever gets the better of those two, and they’re not likely to forget it. They know they won’t win against me and Adam, but you… they’d take you down in an instant just to hurt us or prove that we didn’t stop him.”
“I don’t understand,” I admit, my voice no louder than a whisper.
“Callum and Ryan used to work for Danny,” Dax continues, “as enforcers, you know, roughing up the guys who don’t pay. Danny cut them loose when they started…” he stops, looking terribly embarrassed to have to explain this to me, a pink blush coloring his neck and cheeks.
“What Dax? What did they do?” I’m horrified to find out more, but for some stupid reason I need to know the rest.
Dax rubs his the back of his neck nervously and looks away as he finishes his story. “They started accepting sexual favors from the girlfriends of guys who owed instead of beating them up. That pissed Danny off good. He doesn’t run a sex for drugs operation, and it made him look weak, like people could bargain their way out of paying by offering up their women.”
I feel my already stuttering heart take a nosedive right into my stomach, and suddenly have the urge to vomit up my dodgy school lunch. “T-that… that doesn’t explain how Adam got stabbed.” I trip over my words, having to swallow down the overwhelming nausea.
“Because in exchange for Danny sending a couple of thugs to threaten Callum and Ryan to leave you alone, Adam had to do some jobs for him.”
“Jobs,” I say incredulously, “as in deliver drugs?”
This is so bad. Very very bad.
“Yes. He was rolled by a rival dealer’s runners during a delivery, attacked and robbed and left for dead. I don’t know how he managed to get to my flat in his condition, but he did. I patched him up the best I could and brought him back here. Danny is furious that they harmed one of his guys and is out for blood on the other side. It’s way bigger than us now.
“Plus, now we’ve got Murray angry not only at Danny for cutting him loose and now threatening him, but he’s pissed at me and Adam and now you. You’re the only one who can’t take care of yourself, El, the weak link. We have to keep you safe.”
My head is spinning with this revelation. Adam was stabbed because of me. To save me. As payment for my safety.
“But why? Why would Adam do that for me? He doesn’t even know me!” I cry, trying to make sense of something that won’t ever make sense to me with my glaringly inexperienced view of the world.
Dax’s dark eyes soften. “I told you he’s been following you home every day since the first day of school. He saw how Callum looked at you that day, he knew what would happen. He knew about Callum’s little ‘deals’ with Danny’s clients. It wasn’t a coincidence that we came upon you being assaulted.”
Dax pauses a moment before continuing, trying to decide just how much to tell me. “He’s made sure you got home safe after that, to keep those bastards away. Callum and him have always had this mutual hate, probably because of Danny even though Adam hates Danny just as much as Callum does. I’m not sure why Adam has been doing all this for you, Ellie. I’ve never seen him act like this. Adam’s a friendly guy, likeable, talented, but not one to become so fixated on a single girl or insert himself in his brother’s dealings. Until now.”
“I-I don’t know what to say.” More tears are streaming down my cheeks, I couldn’t stop them even if I tried so I give up and let them fall. “I had no idea about any of this.”
“I know. It’s not your fault, Ellie. Callum and Ryan made their choices and Adam and I made ours.” He stands up and walks to the front door, not looking back as he finishes speaking. “Let Adam know I’ll be back later with food, and Ellie … welcome to the East End.”
chapter 7
Adam
I ended up missing a week of school, which meant Dax had to take my place making sure Ellie got home safely. Thankfully, he brought her to my crappy flat every day instead of hers, as she insisted on being my personal nurse, hovering over me and checking on my stab wound to make sure it doesn’t get infected. Just seeing her made me feel better even if the actual wound still hurt like hell.
Danny hasn’t stopped by or even sent anyone to see if I’m going to live. Not that I expected him to, stupid bastard. I’m just lucky he hates Callum Murray as much as I do, so he’ll keep the pressure on them to stay away from Ellie. Of course, he still makes me pay him to do it. Everything with Danny comes with a price.
Ellie hasn’t brought up the kiss from the other day, and neither have I. I swear, we must be the crappiest communicators ever. Having her near me is like the sweetest pleasure wrapped around the worst torture I can think of. Every thought I have consists of me touching her, kissing her, and God help me, having her naked beneath me. Each one of her gentle caresses when she checks my bandage both hurts like hell and sends an amazing sensation to my cock at the same time. I feel like a shitty person for even having that reaction to her kindness.
“Adam, are you okay?”
&n
bsp; I snap out of my daydream, focusing on Ellie as we ride the tube to the Drunken Kitten for my gig tonight, my side painful but mended just enough to not miss work. “Huh? Oh, yeah. I’m brilliant, El. All healed up, no worries.” Jesus, I’m such a stupid arse. No wonder she hasn’t brought up the kiss or tried for a repeat.
“Seriously, are you alright with me coming with you? I don’t want to get in the way.” Ellie’s cheeks glow with streaks of red, and she stares down at the ground, worrying her hands together before chewing on one of her thumbnails.
“In the way? Fuck no, El. I want you there.” I take her hand in mine and remove it from those plump lips, secretly loving how it feels to hold her skin to skin. “If you weren’t with me, I’d be worried that you weren’t safe so it’s better this way.” Idiot, now I’m using the excuse of protecting her to keep her around me all the time. I want to kick my own arse for not just telling her that I need her, not for her safety but for me.
Ellie lifts her head, just enough so I can see the edge of one blue eye and the corner of her mouth as it lifts up into a smile, her blonde hair tumbling over one shoulder in soft waves of vanilla. “You’d worry about me? That’s rubbish and you know it. You’re the one who got jumped and stabbed. Maybe I should worry about you.”
“Maybe you should,” I mumble, more to myself than to Ellie. Her head comes up the rest of the way and she turns to face me, her eyes wide in surprise.
“Maybe I do,” she whispers back.
I swallow, mesmerized by her gorgeous face and the way she’s staring at me. I study those eyes of hers, deep cerulean blue with shards of icy steel grey in them. Neither of us can look away even though it should be getting awkward with us gawking openly at each other. But it’s not, both of us are equally entranced by the magnetic pull that seems to exist between us.
“This is King’s Cross.” The Underground announcement shakes us out of our little bubble.
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