“I’m not insane. I just don’t know if I’m ready to date yet. And you know my policy on celebrities.”
Aiden’s shrieks took on a new level of urgency and Julia had to take the phone away from her ear. “I’m sorry,” Marissa yelled over the din.
“No worries, go take care of him. I’ll talk to you soon.”
Julia hung up and took a deep breath, surprised that she was still electrified from her evening. She shifted against the sofa cushions, unable to alleviate the pressure building between her legs. Her hips rocked back and forth and she wished she’d been able to forgo the “no men in the apartment rule” so she could have invited Ben upstairs.
She closed her eyes, reliving the sensation of his lips on hers, his tongue spiraling until she was breathless. Her hand slid across her belly to the waistband of her jeans. The button popped open and she slipped her fingers inside her panties. Oh, Jesus. She sank back into the cushions as she dragged her hand back and forth over her own wetness. How long had it been since she’d had an orgasm? Weeks? A month? She moaned, stroking her clit in small circles before dipping a finger inside. She’d forgotten how good it felt to be touched, by anyone. She ran her tongue over her lips, tasting Ben. It was his long fingers she pictured as she rocked against her hand. His body, hard against her, his hair brushing her cheek, his mouth on hers. The sound of pleasure rushed out of her as she came, her hips bucking off the couch.
She lay flushed and breathless as she recovered. Without her permission, thoughts of her ex popped into her head. Trey had been the last man who’d laid hands on her, and that had been in a fit of rage. She buttoned her pants and headed straight to the bathroom, trying to shake the image from her head. He’d always been controlling and had a nasty temper, but the day he’d hit her had been the worst day of her life. Although she’d ended the relationship, it had left its mark. She hadn’t been with anyone since.
The water gushing from the faucet was ice cold but Julia lathered up her hands, twice, then went to work scrubbing her face. By the time she finished rinsing, she felt calm and in control. She got a glass of water and headed to bed. The moment she lay back against the pillows she thought of Ben again. His sideways grin. His soulful eyes. Oh God. I’m in trouble.
* * * * *
Ben glanced at his watch as he rode up the hotel elevator. It was barely 1 a.m. and he was certain Niles would still be up. He knocked on the door rapid-fire until Niles answered.
“You’re so bloody annoying,” Niles said. His shirt was rumpled, black hair matted on one side and sleep lines crossed his cheek.
“Sorry, mate.” Ben strode past him straight to the wet bar and helped himself to a beer. “Want one?”
“Might as well now that I’m awake.” Niles scrubbed his hands through his hair and rubbed his eyes. “Where’ve you been? I popped by to go over tomorrow’s schedule.”
Ben couldn’t keep the grin off his face. “Out with Julia.”
Niles’ eyebrows shot up. “Finally got some action with her, did you? Well done. Surprised you’re home so early.”
“I walked her home. Like a gentleman.” Ben took a swig of beer, remembering their good night kiss, the smile returning to his face.
“Walked her home after…”
“Dinner, you perv.”
“So you’re grinning like a loony because a girl let you walk her home?”
“Yes.”
Niles shook his head and took a long drink. “Please tell me you at least snogged her.”
“At her door.” He ran his hand along the edge of the beer bottle, fiddling with the label.
“So I suppose you’re seeing her again?”
“Dunno.”
“Did you ask?”
“Yes. Said she didn’t know. I’ll ask again tomorrow.” The nervous flutter in his stomach felt good. It had been ages since he’d looked forward to something like this. The anticipation was intoxicating.
“Bloody hell. You’ve got women lined up at shows ready to shag you and you’re after one who says maybe?”
“She’s different.”
“I’ll say.”
Ben finished off his beer and set it on the coffee table. “Go back to bed, you’re cranky.” Nothing Niles could say was going to put a damper on his mood. He knew he could turn the maybe into a yes and that was all he wanted.
* * * * *
A flutter of nervous energy ran through Julia as she rushed to work. Ben’s fitting was her first appointment and she was anxious to see him. She strode into the studio and was surprised to find Niles lounging on the waiting area chair.
“Sorry, luv,” he said. “I needed to snag Ben’s time slot, seems I’ve had a bit of a wardrobe malfunction.” He waggled his fingers through the open seam in the side of his jacket shoulder.
Julia tried to mask her disappointment. She’d been looking forward to spending time with Ben, hoping she could amp things up a bit from the night before, or at least make it clear that she liked him. Maybe he’s already lost interest. I played it too cool. Dammit.
Niles stood and handed her the jacket. She spread it out on the worktable, examining the split seam. When she looked up, Niles was studying her, his dark eyes taking in her every move.
“This didn’t just pop open on its own.” She ran her fingers over the tiny holes in the fabric. “Someone snipped the threads.”
Niles’ face crinkled with a smile. “Guess I’m not as clever as I like to think. Sorry. I needed an excuse to have a chat, that’s all.”
“I’ll be at rehearsals later, couldn’t you have just talked to me then?” Worry coursed through her. She busied herself matching the thread color, but her mind was racing. Did Ben send him to tell me to stay away?
“I wanted to speak privately. I don’t imagine Ben would give me a moment alone with you, so I thought this was best. I’m just trying to look out for him.”
Julia pricked her finger on the needle. “What do you mean?” She stuck her finger in her mouth to avoid getting blood on the fabric.
Niles cracked his knuckles. “Ben’s like a brother to me. Not just because of the band, we’ve been friends all our lives. I’m a bit protective of him and I don’t want to see him hurt.”
“And you think I’m going to hurt him?” What are these two up to? She sat down on the edge of the loveseat and rested the needle and thread on the curved arm. She turned the jacket inside out and went to work stitching.
“I think you could, yes.” Niles took a seat on the chair across from her, his expression thoughtful but serious. He rubbed his palms together then took a deep breath. “Look, he likes you. A lot. Apart from Sheila, I’ve never heard him talk about any woman the way he talks about you.”
Julia kept sewing but her eyebrows rose. “Sheila?”
“His wife.”
The jacket tumbled off her lap. “He’s married?” Her brain went cold and tingly. Oh my God. Are you kidding me?
“Oh Christ.” Niles raked his hand through his hair, causing it to stand up in fiendish black spikes. “I thought you knew.”
“You thought wrong. And I don’t do married men. Jesus. I’m such an idiot.” She felt sick to her stomach. I knew he was too good to be for real.
Niles shook his head, waving his hands about. “No, no, no. Christ, I’m mucking this up. He’s not married. He’s a widower.”
It took a moment for the meaning of the word to sink in. Julia was speechless.
“I’m sorry,” Niles said. “I’m so used to every person I meet knowing every last detail about each member of the band that I forget that not everyone spends their free time reading gossip magazines.” He jumped up and strode to the water dispenser, then returned with a paper cup. “You’ve gone rather pale, drink this.”
Julia sipped then set the cup on the floor. “Why are you telling me this?”
Niles plunked himself down in the chair. “Sheila was Ben’s first love. They married straight after university. When the band took off, the rest of us were liv
ing the life but Ben’s whole world was Sheila.”
Julia realized she’d been holding her breath and forced herself to inhale.
Ben looked down at the floor. “Then she had a car accident. She was killed instantly.” He paused, his gaze steady on hers. “As was their unborn child.”
The air rushed out of Julia’s lungs.
“Ben was inconsolable. After the funeral, he holed up in his house for months. Wouldn’t come to practice. Wouldn’t even consider doing a show. We all tried to coax him out and about but we failed miserably. The band was for all intents and purposes broken up. Then we got a call about an American tour. I don’t know what the manager said to Ben, but it worked, he came back.”
“So he just snapped out of it?”
“No, but I guess the music was helping him heal. He put a bunch of stuff in storage and got himself a tiny flat in London. By the time we left on the tour he’d reorganized his entire life. New wardrobe, new haircut, new Ben.”
Julia remembered the American tour. She’d gone to see the New York show with Marissa and had admired Ben from the first time she’d laid eyes on him. That tour had been what had sparked his coverage in the fashion magazines. That was three years ago, when she was still interning. Being hired by him was beyond a dream job back then.
“The tour was insane. We were in a different US state every other day. It was the first time any of us had done anything that scale. The band went wild. American girls are a bit different than what we’re used to and let’s just say they’re not at all shy, at least not the ones who sneak into dressing rooms.”
“So you’re telling me Ben took on the more traditional rock star persona.”
Niles thought before answering. “He partook of the offerings, yes.”
Julia nodded. “So I’m just one in a long lineup. The one who’s playing hard to get. I get it. Thanks for the warning.”
Niles’ eyes flew open wide. “What? No, that’s not what I was saying. Fuck, I’m bad at this. What I’m trying to tell you is he never got to know any of those girls. At all. Not even their names. Over the past few years, the rest of us were getting serious girlfriends, getting engaged, and he was with a different girl in every city. Complete role reversal. He rationalized it as making up for lost time, but I knew he was just trying to keep from getting hurt again. I honestly thought he might keep at it forever. Then he met you.”
Julia sucked in a quick breath. She remembered the moment they first met. Could still see the way his eyes locked on hers, the smile that played at his enticing lips. She’d assumed the electricity was one-sided. She couldn’t imagine a man who could literally have anyone wanting someone as ordinary as her.
“From that first time you did our wardrobe fitting he’s been smitten with you. Wouldn’t bloody shut up about you. Insisted we hire you every time. And the stream of groupies stopped.”
“Oh, come on.”
“Swear to God. He stopped going out and started writing songs again, for the first time since Sheila.”
“And you think that’s because of me?”
“I know it is. He’s my best mate, I know him better than I know myself. So as much as I’ve mucked up the delivery, that’s why I had to tell you. If you’re not serious, if you’re just in this for a lark, let him go, now, before he gets even more attached. He’s been through enough.”
Julia tried to process everything. Her mind was spinning but her thoughts kept coming back to one thing. Ben. Her stomach tensed as feelings tangled inside her. “Don’t worry. I won’t hurt him.”
* * * * *
Ben was counting the seconds until Julia was due at rehearsal. He couldn’t wait to see her again. He’d spent the morning writing then had a shower and a wank and was still too keyed up to sit still. He did his half-hour warm-up, glancing at the door every few seconds.
She finally arrived, looking even more fantastic than she did in his head. Her hair was tucked behind one ear, the rest falling down across her face. A white fitted shirt clung to her chest, curving over her tiny waist and flaring around her rounded hips. Her dark skinny jeans and funky patent leather heels made her already long legs look endless. She could easily be a model rather than someone behind the scenes, except that she seemed to want to be anywhere but in the spotlight.
The shy smile she gave when she saw him sent ripples of heat through him. He strode over, resisting the urge to swoop down and kiss her. “Hey, how’s your day been?” He helped her hang the garment bags on the hooks by the door.
“Crazy. Sorry I’m late.” She unzipped one black nylon bag and handed him a slate-blue shirt.
“Brilliant. That’s exactly what I had in mind.”
“Don’t say that ’til you’ve tried it on.”
“Okay.” He placed the hanger over the empty hook and pulled off his t-shirt. The immediate flush that crept across her cheeks filled him with hope. He kept his eyes on her as he buttoned the shirt, cuffing up the sleeves. “Well?” he asked, turning to look in the long mirror on the door.
She ran her hands across his back, checking the seams on the shoulders. He wished the fit wasn’t so good so she’d need to do alterations and would have a reason to keep running her hands over him.
“Looks great. Is it comfortable?”
He flexed, rounding then stretching his back. “Perfect.”
She smiled. “Good. You should hang it back up so it stays that way.”
He chuckled. She was trying to act all businesslike but the sparkle in her eyes gave her away. “So, have you decided? Will you join me for dinner tonight?”
“Yes,” she said with no hesitation.
“If I’d known I was going to get that enthusiastic a response I’d have asked you to marry me again.” Her cheeks flushed a darker shade. “Can I pick you up at your flat? We should be done here by seven, but I want to shower so I should be able to be there by eight.”
She paused, her eyes searching his.
“Unless you’d rather meet me at a restaurant.” He didn’t want to be presumptuous.
“No, eight is fine. I’ll be ready.”
Rehearsal seemed to last forever, which was ironic because the band kept yelling at Ben for rushing the tempo. He didn’t care, he just wanted to get on with his evening. Now that he was a block from her apartment he felt the nervous energy swirling in his gut again. He scanned the buzzer for her name then pressed the button. When she didn’t answer he buzzed again. He checked his watch. It was five past eight. Is she standing me up? He was about to pull out his cell when he realized he didn’t have her number. Bugger. He heard a noise up above, followed by the sound of her voice. “Ben?”
He stepped farther out onto the curb and looked up to see her leaning out her window. “The intercom is broken, I forgot to tell you. I’ll be down in a second.” He watched as she closed the window and flipped the latch.
At least she’s here. But she still won’t let me up to her place. He’d had a feeling she wouldn’t. As calm and smooth as she was while working, she clearly had issues with being alone with a man.
Before he could give it more thought the door swung open and she was there, looking even more beautiful than she had earlier. She’d swept her hair into a messy updo with loose strands framing her face and trailing enticingly down her neck. She’d forgone the tailored shirt in favor of a short black dress and knee-high boots.
“You look lovely,” he said, leaning in to kiss her cheek.
“Thanks.” She slung her purse onto her shoulder, tucking the strap beneath the collar of her leather jacket. “I didn’t know what to wear. Where are we headed?”
“A tapas place in the West Village. Fancy a stroll or shall we cab it?”
“We can walk.”
She turned to head uptown and he stole a glance at her curvaceous bum before striding to catch up with her. “Oh,” he said, “almost forgot. These are for you.” He handed her a small, clear plastic bag filled with foil-wrapped chocolates.
“Thank you.” S
he looked puzzled.
“See, they look like daisies. I’d have brought you a real bouquet, but I was afraid you’d think it was some sort of ploy to get up to your flat. This way you still get your flowers but you can tuck them in your purse and keep me safely on the street.”
She smiled and tugged at the yellow ribbon that held the bag shut. She pulled out one shiny piece. “I’m sure these are much tastier too. Want one?”
“Sure.”
She handed him one then took another for herself and stuck the rest of the bag into her purse. He watched as she unwrapped the candy and took a bite.
“That’s really good.” She made a small happy sound that made his knees weak.
He popped his piece into his mouth. The creamy chocolate melted against his tongue, sweet and delicious, but all he could think about was tasting her.
Chapter Three
Julia couldn’t remember when she’d laughed so much. Twice she’d almost spit her wine out and once she’d nearly choked on an olive. He was launching into a story about the band and she could tell he was gearing up for another wisecrack. “Wait, before you go on please let me swallow this bite.”
“Of course. Never want to interfere with a lady swallowing.”
She coughed as she struggled the mouthful down. “You’re terrible.”
“But in a great way.” He looked so pleased with himself she couldn’t help but smile.
The waiter came to clear their plates then brought over dessert menus. “Care for something sweet?” Ben asked. “I promise, I won’t say anything funny until you’ve finished eating.”
His eyes twinkled in the flickering candlelight and she found it hard to imagine saying no to anything he asked.
They shared a crème brûlée and a seven-layer chocolate ganache cake. Ben stabbed the last bite of cake and held it out to her. As tempting as the forkful looked, she declined. “It’s all yours.”
As he ate, she couldn’t help thinking how extra sweet his lips must taste. Liquid heat pooled inside her. What am I going to do when we get to my place? Her heart pounded at the thought.
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