I paused. She was the first person I wanted to tell? What about my parents? My old coaches? They were the ones who had been through this journey with me. Why was it that she came to mind first?
I didn't have time to text her. Plus, she would be here. She would see it for herself.
I went out to the bench and took a sip of water. A few more of the guys were out and when I stepped out to the ice, Hartman came over.
“Congratulations, man. Coach told me the news and I’m really happy for you. You deserve it.”
“Thanks.” I wasn’t sure he was entirely correct, but I wasn’t going to point it out to him. There were two other defensemen who could have taken this spot. They were older, more experienced, and probably more qualified. But if Coach thought I was the best choice right now, I wasn't going to question it.
“Today’s going to be a lot of work, but it will pay off on Saturday.”
I nodded and followed him out to warm up.
This was surreal. I was going to be starting with the captain. With my heroes.
I looked around at the empty seats but didn't see Colby yet. I couldn’t wait to see her expression when she saw me practicing with these guys.
A whistle blew, and I looked back at the bench. Everyone was out, and Coach was standing in the center. “We’ve got a game in two days. Today we are going to hit it hard, and tomorrow we’ll just run drills. Malkin is moving up to the first line for this game, so we’ll rearrange things a little.”
A few of the guys looked at me and nodded. I tried to avoid the gaze of the ones who had been skipped over. It wasn’t my fault, but I felt a little guilty.
Hartman slapped my back. “Come on, let’s do this.”
I pushed myself harder than I ever have and when we finally got a break about thirty minutes later, I got a chance to look around. Chloe, Colby, and Emma were sitting in the front row. Colby caught my eye and waved. I nodded back, and she mouthed ‘congrats’. She figured it out. She knew I was on the first line. Pride washed over me. I was embarrassed by my reaction. I was a grown man, but I felt like a child who won the praise of his favorite teacher. I’d done it.
I kept up with the guys and was dead on my feet by the time Coach let us go. I followed the guys to stretch then claimed an ice bath. Every inch of my body was screaming in pain. It was a good thing tomorrow would be a little easier, or I wouldn’t be able to move when the game started.
After I showered and dressed, I left the locker room to see Colby waiting. She ran at me and threw her arms around my neck the second I stepped out. I laughed and caught her before we both went to the ground.
“You did it! Noah, I’m so proud of you!”
I squeezed her, soaking in her praise. This felt right. I hadn’t liked the distance that had been between us since our date, but this was it. I felt it in my bones. We might have a professional relationship, but this was real. This was how we were supposed to be.
“Thank you.”
She released her grip around my neck and backed up. “How are we going to celebrate?”
I bit back a cringe. I wanted to go home and relax. Ice some of my muscles, maybe watch a movie. But she was so excited. I didn’t want to let her down.
“Whatever you want.”
Her eyes narrowed. “No, this is your day. We’re going to do exactly what you want.”
“Lunch?”
She tilted her head. “That’s it?”
I sighed. I couldn’t lie to her. She’d know. “I really would like to relax.”
She nodded. “Then I will pick up lunch on the way home and meet you there. Do you need anything? An ice pack? That cooling rub?”
I shook my head. “I have plenty of both.”
“Okay, I’ll meet you at home then.” She smiled and went up on her toes. Her lips grazed my cheek and I nearly grabbed her and pushed her against the wall.
I wanted to kiss her. Right there. “This is a good chance to practice.”
“What?” She sounded breathless.
“A celebratory kiss.” I turned until our lips were only a breath apart.
“All for appearances?” she said against my lips.
I craved her touch. “Yes.”
“No one’s watching.” She inched closer.
“Even better. Then no one would see if we mess up.” I closed my eyes. Praying for her to close the gap.
“I’ll see you soon.”
I opened my eyes to see her hurrying off in the opposite direction to the elevator. I watched her until she disappeared around a corner, willing the heat in my core to simmer down.
I didn't bother asking where she was going. There were always a hundred things going on in her mind, and I probably couldn’t keep up.
By the time I got home, my legs were aching. I went to my room and used a foam roller to loosen the muscles. It was a great mixture of pain and relief. One of those things that hurts so good.
I heard the front door open, so I got up and wandered into the kitchen. Colby was setting two bags on the counter. “What did you get?”
She looked up and smiled at me. “I got you a steak bowl. Don’t worry, it’s sugar-free, low fat, and low carb.”
“Thank you.” One day she might stop teasing me about my diet, but I doubted that day would come anytime soon.
She slid the bowl toward me and opened one for herself.
“Did you get the same thing?”
She nodded and made a face. “You’re a bad influence.”
I laughed. “Because you’re eating healthy?”
“Yeah. Next you’re going to have me exercising.”
My eyes roamed over her body involuntarily. She was perfect. Lean without being too skinny. If that was how she looked without worrying about her diet or exercising she was lucky.
“Only if you want to.”
She shrugged. “It probably wouldn’t hurt.” She patted her stomach. “I could probably lose a few pounds.”
I stood and walked around the counter to her. I pulled her hands away and held them in mine. “Don’t ever say that. You are absolutely perfect the way you are. You’re beautiful.”
Her eyebrows shot up. I couldn’t tell if she believed me or not.
“Your body is amazing.” I looked down at her curves, sliding my hands to her waist. “I don’t want you to ever think otherwise.”
“Really?” Doubt filled her voice.
“I would never lie to you.”
She sucked in a breath, bringing my eyes to her lips. They were plump, ready, waiting for mine.
“I’m going to-“
I pressed my lips against hers. I couldn’t wait another second. She leaned into me, deepening the kiss and opening her mouth to me. I slid my tongue along her lower lip.
This was so much better than being on the first line.
She jumped back and lifted her hand to her mouth. “Why? Why did you do that?”
I didn’t understand why she was upset. That kiss was amazing. I knew she thought so. Why was she fighting me now?
“I thought...” I smiled but her face was a mix of hurt and worry. I hadn’t meant to hurt her. That was the last thing I ever wanted to do. “I’m sorry.”
“You shouldn’t have done that, Noah.”
“Why?”
“There wasn’t anyone else here. No cameras. No reporters. Why?”
I shook my head. “I wanted to?”
“Noah.” She sighed and turned around and walked out of the room. I heard the guest bedroom door shut a second later.
What just happened? I didn’t understand why she was upset. I thought we were having a moment. I saw the way she was looking at me. I thought she wanted it too.
I waited for a minute, hoping she would come back out. When she didn’t I went back to my lunch. I didn’t know if she wanted me to go after her or give her space. This was our first fight, or misunderstanding. I wasn’t sure how to react.
I’d finish, then heat up her lunch and bring it to her. A peace offering
was probably a good idea.
A few minutes later, I knocked on her door. “Colby, can I come in?”
I heard a muffled voice, so I took that as a yes.
I opened the door and looked around. She was sitting on the bed, facing away from me. I set her lunch down on the nightstand and sat next to her, careful to leave some space.
“I’m sorry, Colby.”
She sighed but didn’t look at me.
“I know we agreed to warn each other. I know this is supposed to be fake. I know I caught you off guard. I’m sorry for all of that.”
She turned slightly and briefly met my gaze.
“I’m not sorry for kissing you, though.”
Her shoulders slumped, and she turned her back to me.
What was I saying wrong? Maybe she didn't see me that way. Maybe she wasn’t interested in me.
“I’ll try not to do it again. I can’t promise it though.”
“Why not?”
She was talking to me! I almost stood up and cheered. She probably wouldn’t appreciate that though.
“Because you’re you.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means you’re my friend. The person I’m closest to. When I got the news today from Coach that I was moving to the first line, you were the very first person I thought of. It was you who I wanted to tell. You’re the most important person in my life.”
She shook her head and I stopped. She turned around and her expression nearly broke me. She looked so dejected. “Noah, this isn’t real. This is something Bryce came up with. You don’t really care about me. I’m just the most convenient. I’m not important to you, I’m just the only one around. Once you get more established here and make more friends, you’ll realize I’m nothing more than your personal assistant.”
She was wrong. About everything. She would never be just my PA.
I clenched my fist. “You’re not listening to me. And stop being so hard on yourself. Don’t discount my words and my feelings just because I’m in a new situation. Yeah, I’m young, but you’re not that much older than me. A few months doesn’t give you a whole life’s worth of experience to hold over my head.”
She looked at me with… sympathy? “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to tell you how to feel. I’m just trying to prepare myself for the day that you’ll no longer need me. This is all temporary. Even if you don’t get a contract with the Fury, you’ll get picked up by another team. You’re talented and people are finally getting to see that. You’ll move on. You’ll realize you’re destined for bigger and better things than me.”
I was getting angry now. I hated that she thought of me that way. I wasn’t shallow. I wasn’t going to get swept up in the fast life. I was trying to tell her what she meant to me and she was blowing me off.
I couldn’t sit here and take it anymore.
“I warmed up your lunch for you. I’m going to go watch a movie.” I stood and walked out before she could say anything else.
I hated fighting with her. I hated that she was upset, but I wasn’t going to sit back and let her tell me how I was supposed to feel. How things were supposed to be. I wasn’t following someone else’s plans for my life. I didn’t care what everyone else was doing. I care about me. Reaching my goals. Being true to myself.
She wasn’t willing to hear that, though.
Chapter Twelve
Colby
He didn’t understand. He didn’t get that with each look. Each touch. Each kiss it was breaking my heart.
I wanted to leave. I needed to get away, but I couldn’t. This was my job. I needed to do this no matter how much it hurt.
Even if I distanced myself from him, I could only do it here. In public I’d have to be the dutiful girlfriend. I could fake it. I would have to, but it would suck.
My phone vibrated next to me on then bed. I checked the screen and was surprised to see my mom’s name. She rarely called me outside of our scheduled Sunday calls. But maybe she remembered.
“Hi Mom.”
“Hi, honey. I’m surprised I caught you.”
“Yeah, what’s up?” I waited for her to say ‘happy birthday’ or for Dad to jump on the line.
“I just wanted to let you know that your father and I have made an important decision.”
I could tell by her tone that she wasn’t calling with good news. Dread washed over me. Could this day really get worse? The possibilities ran through my mind. Was one of them sick? Were they getting a divorce?
“What’s going on Mom?”
“We’re selling the house.”
That was probably the last thing I expected. “But you love that house. You’ve lived there for over thirty years.”
She sighed. “I know, dear. There are a lot of memories here, but we decided to take advantage of the market and sell.”
My childhood home. The only place I’d ever lived growing up. I moved around to different apartments in college, but that was my home. My safe place. That was where I learned to ride a bike. I’d had my first boys and girls party in the backyard. I got my first kiss in the driveway. Everything happened in that house.
I took a breath. This wasn’t about me. This was their decision. I was an adult with my own place. I couldn’t expect them to stay there forever. “Where are you moving?”
“We’re actually going to travel for a little while.”
This was getting weirder and weirder. “So, you’re selling the house and traveling?”
“Yeah, we’re going to start in Mexico, then work our way through Central and South America, then Australia, and Asia and end in Europe.”
What the heck was happening? Who was this person? My parents were safe. Stable. They would never, ever pick up and travel the world.
I tried to be happy for them. This was their time. Their golden years. “That sounds amazing, Mom.”
“Oh, thank you, honey. We’re very excited, but we were worried about you. We didn’t want you to feel like we were leaving you out.”
I instantly felt guilty. They worried about telling me? They expected me to be upset. What kind of daughter did that make me? I wasn’t so selfish that I’d be mad at them for pursuing a dream. They’d always supported me. I hated that they didn’t think I would support them.
“I’m really happy for you guys, this will be a really great experience for you.”
We talked for a few more minutes before hanging up. I tried to control my voice. Not letting her know I was upset. I had no reason to be. It was their house. They were free to do with it whatever they wanted. I couldn’t get upset about them moving on with their lives. They were empty nesters. They were free to travel and see the world. It was a dream my mom had talked about when I was a child, but I never thought they would go through with it.
The realization that she’d forgotten my birthday sunk in. Through our whole conversation she didn’t once mention it. Never even hinted. How could she forget? She never had before. Getting the house ready to sell must be stressful. Her mind was probably on other things.
I looked at my food and scowled. It was no longer appealing.
I didn’t want to eat. Or think too much about anything.
I picked it up and went back into the kitchen. After putting it in the fridge I looked into the living room. I couldn’t see Noah’s head, so he must be lying down. I didn’t recognize the movie he was watching. Something with fancy cars and a lot of guns.
I walked over and peeked over the couch. His head was on a pillow, facing the TV.
“Hey.”
He looked up at me and smiled. “Hi.”
“Can I sit with you?”
“Of course.”
He started to sit up, but I stopped him. “I’m just going to go right here.” I moved to his feet and lifted them up, then sat and put them on my lap.
“I can move.” He pulled his knees up, but I put my hand on them and pulled them back down.
“No, you’re fine.”
He set his head back on th
e pillow and we watched in silence for a few minutes.
“Who was on the phone?”
I looked over at him, but he was focused on the movie.
“My mom.”
“Anything exciting going on back home?”
I chuckled. “Just them selling the house and going on a trip around the world.”
His head popped up. “Seriously?”
I nodded.
“Are you okay with that?”
“Honestly? Not really. I mean, I get that it’s their house and they’re free to do whatever they want with it, but it’s my childhood home. It’s where I grew up. It’s the only home I’ve ever known.”
He nodded. “I would be mad if my parents sold ours.”
“I guess I thought it would always be there. Even though I haven’t been back much since I came here for school, I thought I could always go home.”
He smiled sweetly. It was hard to feel too sad when he looked at me with those baby blues. “I think this is where I’m supposed to say home is where the heart is or something like that.”
I laughed. “Please don’t.”
He laughed with me. “I won’t.”
I leaned my head back against the sofa when he quieted. “I’m sorry, Colby.”
I turned my head toward him and smiled. “Me too.”
“You’re not still mad at me?”
I shook my head.
He raised an eyebrow and grinned. “So, I can kiss you again?”
I kept shaking my head and tried to look stern but ended up laughing. When I calmed down I sighed. “You know the worst part?”
He propped himself up on his elbow and waited.
“She didn’t even tell me happy birthday.”
His jaw dropped. “Wait. Today’s your birthday?”
I nodded.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Like last week?”
I shrugged. “I don’t normally make a big deal about it, but when my mom called I thought for sure that’s why.” I chuckled. “Nope, it was just to tell me she was selling my childhood to the highest bidder.”
He dropped his legs from my lap and sat up. “Colby, I’m so sorry.”
I tried to pretend I was fine, but the second his arm wrapped around my shoulder, I was done. Tears fell, and I turned into him.
Line Change: Utah Fury Hockey Book Three Page 9