“Hey Colby!” I waved to Emma and slid into the row below her. The normal attendees were there. I said hi as I passed to the seat next to Madeline and Chloe.
“Hey, there you are. I was starting to think you were going to stand us up.” Madeline teased, but she had no idea how close to the truth she was.
“It’s been a long few days.” I hoped they wouldn’t question me further, but that was wishful thinking.
Chloe leaned forward and was practically bouncing in her seat. “How was it? I’ve been dying to see you.”
The women around us seemed to lean forward together. I smiled and spoke loudly enough for them to all hear.
“It was really fun. He showed me around where he grew up and we went to Stanley Park, which was beautiful. We mostly hung out with his family.”
I looked around, hoping that would appease the masses. There were a few comments to which I smiled in response. I leaned back in my seat hoping that would be the end of it.
“If it was so great why does it look like someone kicked your puppy?” Chloe was eyeing me like she could see into my mind and knew I was holding back.
I didn’t want this to turn into a group discussion, so I leaned toward her, so just she and Madi could hear.
“He’s been off since we got back.” I tried to whisper.
Chloe’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”
I looked out to where the Zambonis were prepping the ice. “He’s been avoiding me. He’s barely been home and hasn’t said a word to me since we got back.”
They both looked confused.
“But he was fine while you were there?” Madi asked.
I nodded and sighed. They didn’t understand either.
“I wonder what happened.” Chloe looked pensive, like she was trying to solve the mystery.
“I’m not sure. Everything was fine on the flight home. It was like the second we walked through the front door a switch flipped.”
Madi pursed her lips. “Maybe he’s just been worried about this game. First time opening at home.”
I wanted to believe that was it, but it didn't make sense. “He was nervous for the Denver game, but he talked to me about it. We’ve always been able to talk to each other, but now…”
I trailed off not knowing what else to say. I couldn’t figure out what happened.
Chloe reached over and squeezed my wrist. “Just give him some time and space. He’ll come to you when he’s ready.”
That wasn’t the answer I wanted, but it was the best thing I could do right now. I nodded and sunk back into my seat. The game started, and I watched for Noah to enter. When he finally did, he was walking with Reese, Erik, Hartman, and Brassard. That was good. He was still on the first line.
If that wasn’t the issue, what could it be?
I wondered about it for the entire game. I cheered when everyone else did, but my head was miles away. I analyzed every detail of our trip and the flight home. Nothing happened. Nothing I could pinpoint. I wanted to think if I’d done anything to upset him, he’d tell me. Maybe we weren’t as close as I thought.
How long could he keep this up?
Maybe Madi was right. After a weekend off, maybe he was pushing himself to focus back on the game. Maybe he was stressed.
I’d know by tomorrow if that was the case. If he wasn’t back to normal, then there was something else wrong.
The guys won, and I forced myself to smile and cheer with everyone else. The girls invited me to go down to the tunnel with them to wait for the guys, but I wanted to give Noah more space. I made myself available if he wanted to talk to me. I went to his apartment and took up residence on the couch. I worked through emails while watching a home renovation show.
The front door finally opened after eleven.
I sat up and watched Noah walk in. He dropped his bag to the ground and headed back to his room.
“Good job tonight.”
He stopped and looked at me as if he was just realizing I was there. Had he not heard the TV? He met my eyes for the briefest glance and continued walking back. “Thanks.”
That was it.
I’d waited up for him, and that was all I got? I wanted to follow him. Force him to tell me what was going on.
We weren’t even this distant the first time we met. Now he was acting like I was a complete stranger.
I wanted to text the girls. I wanted them to tell me it would be alright. I wanted, maybe even needed, reassurance that things would go back to how they were. Our weekend had been so wonderful. What changed?
It was no use staying up trying to figure it out, and I didn’t want to bring the girls into this. If Noah was going through something, I didn’t want to put more attention on him. If he needed space, the last thing he needed was more people watching him.
I went to the door and waited, the last shred of hope disappearing. He didn’t come back.
* * *
I woke up to my alarm blaring at me. I quickly turned it off and laid back down. I reached for my phone and checked the screen.
I held my breath and… nothing.
Not a single message from him.
Fine. If he needed space I would give it to him. My worry was quickly turning into irritation. Two could play this game. If he wanted to avoid me that was fine. I’d make myself scarce. If he didn't want me around, I wasn’t going to waste my time.
I checked my emails and wrote a to-do list for the day. He had a few events coming up and needed his suit and tux dry cleaned. I considered even getting the ingredients for his mom’s cookies, but frankly, he didn’t deserve them. My other clients needed a few things done, so I finished their social media posts and planned out the rest of my day.
After I showered and got ready for the day, I hurried out. By the time I picked up his dry cleaning, emptied his PO Box of fan mail, and put in a custom order of dress shirts at his favorite store, my aggravation was boiling. I knew doing all of this was my job, but his silence was killing me. He usually texted me throughout the day, but day three of silence was getting to me.
My phone rang in my purse and I dug in to find it. I checked the screen and sighed. Still not him.
“Hey Chloe,” I answered.
“Hi girl. You’re missing practice.”
I checked my watched and realized it was later into the afternoon than I thought. “I lost track of time.”
“So, you’re not avoiding him?”
I rolled my eyes. Of course, I was, but I wasn’t going to admit that. “I just had a lot of things to get done today.”
“Sure.” I ignored her condescending tone. “You missed the announcement.”
I stopped in front of my car and searched for my keys.
“What announcement?”
Whatever it was couldn’t be public yet. I followed all of the team’s social media accounts and had an alert set up for whenever the Fury was in the news.
“Howe’s injury isn’t recovering properly. He’s done.”
I found my keys and unlocked the door, so I could get in. “For the season?”
“No, permanently. He can’t play again.”
I froze with the key almost in the ignition. “That’s horrible.”
“It is. I’m going to miss him.”
I couldn’t say the same, since I’d never met him, but it was terrible anytime a professional athlete lost the ability to play their sport. It was life altering.
“So, what does that mean for the team?”
Chloe didn’t answer for a few beats. “I talked to Madi, since she would know better. I had my guess, but she confirmed it.”
“What is it?” I finally turned on my car while I waited.
“There’s an open spot. Chances just got a whole lot better for Noah.”
She confirmed what I was already thinking. This would be great. He’d probably relax a bit, maybe go back to normal.
“That’s incredible.”
“I know. As long as he keeps performing the way he has, he’s
set.”
I sighed. Yeah, as long as he keeps it up. Which would require complete focus and dedication. The hope I’d just had about him getting back to normal disappeared. He’d have tunnel vision. No room to think or worry about me. I couldn't get mad at him for that either. This was his future. I couldn’t get sensitive about it.
“Thanks for letting me know.”
I hung up and headed back home.
Not home.
Noah’s place.
Even though it had started to feel like it, that wasn’t my home. I couldn't get too comfortable.
Now it was more important than ever to be supportive of him and make sure I was doing everything in my power to make his life easier. A contract was practically dangling in front of him. I couldn’t be the thing that held him back.
Anything he needed, no matter how small, I would do. His focus needed to be on his performance.
This was my job. I needed to push my feeling to the back burner and start treating him like every other client.
Chapter Nineteen
Noah
The moment Coach made the announcement about Howe all eyes turned on me. I could feel it continue during practice. People were in the audience, more than just the normal Pride. I asked Erik who they were, and he said the names of different members of the board and even the general manager. I knew what that meant.
It was go time. I had to step up. There was a permanent spot open on the team. The potential for a contract was real. It was a possibility before, but now, now it was a reality. The only thing standing between me and that contract were the people watching.
Colby wasn’t there. I’d checked a hundred times throughout practice. I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t resist.
This was the first practice she’d missed.
I pushed that out of my mind.
Coach yelled at me to meet him in his office after he ended practice. I went straight there, not bothering to stretch or shower before. Those things could wait. Whatever coach was going to tell me couldn’t.
I sat across from his desk and waited. He came in behind me less than two minutes later. He took his seat and looked at me.
“You’ve grown already, Noah.”
I nodded. “This team has pushed me so much. I know it’s only been a few weeks, but I feel like a different player.”
“That’s good. I can tell you’ve put in the work. You know what it takes to be in the NHL and you’re willing to do what it takes. That’s a great quality.”
There was a but coming. I could feel it. Was this it? They were dropping me? Sending me back to the farm?
“With Howe leaving, we’re going to need a defenseman to replace him. Permanently.”
I nodded again. I’d already figured this out, but it was good to hear it come from him.
“I want that person to be you, Noah. You fit well with the team. You work hard. And you prove yourself at games. I always worry with rookies that they’ll freeze when they get to the real games, but you never have. You’re focused.”
But? I waited.
“There’s a lot at stake. I know I don’t have to tell you that. You need to maintain the same level you have been. Maybe more.”
“I can do that.”
“I know you can, but I’m not the only one making the decision. I don’t have the final say. You need to prove yourself to the rest of the office.”
“I understand.”
“Good. Now go stretch and ice. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Thanks, Coach.”
I stood and walked back to the locker room. Nothing he said surprised me. I knew there would be pressure. I knew I would be watched. As much as I wanted him to pat me on the pack and tell me everything would be okay, and he believed in me, it didn’t matter. I had to make sure the general manager, owner, and organization believed I had what it would take as well.
Erik and Reese were waiting for me when I walked in. Erik stepped forward first. “What did he say?”
I blew out a breath. “Just that with Howe gone there’s going to be an opening for a spot, and that I don't already have it. I’ll need to work hard and prove myself.”
Reese clapped me on the back. “Malkin, that’s awesome man! You’re the best choice. Anyone else would have to do what you’ve already done.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve already proven your value to the team, and we all work well together. That’s huge with the Fury. They don’t take anyone, no matter how good someone is. They have to know the team will work together well.”
I nodded, but I didn’t really feel any better. Even though my dreams were a whole lot closer than they were yesterday, it felt like the opposite. Like I was farther away from obtaining my goal.
“Let’s go out tonight. We’ll all celebrate.” Erik changed his shirt and waited for me to agree.
“There’s nothing to celebrate yet.”
Erik shook his head. “You’re being too hard on yourself. As long as you keep playing like you have been, don’t get in trouble, and don’t piss anyone off, the spot is yours. That’s worth celebrating.”
I knew I wasn’t going to win. He was just as stubborn as his sister.
“Fine. I just need an ice bath before I shower.”
“Let’s meet at Donovan’s at eight.”
I checked my watch. That gave me an hour to get ready. “Sounds good. Just text me the address.”
I left them to sink into an ice bath. As much as it hurt in the moment, it was the only way I was able to endure these practices day after day.
By the time I was out and showered I felt a little more human.
I dressed and checked my phone. Both my brothers and my dad called me. They must have heard the news. I didn’t want to call them back. They would all tell me that this was it. This was my shot into the NHL. I knew that. I knew this was a good thing. I didn't want to hear Mikey or Dad tell me I needed to focus. I didn’t need someone else to tell me I had to work hard.
I’d done it my entire life. I’d never slacked off. I’d never done anything less than with one hundred percent. This wasn’t going to be the time I stopped.
There was enough pressure on me without having to add their voices to the mix.
I was already doing everything I could to get that contract. I wanted it. More than anyone could possibly understand.
I wanted to be here. I wanted this team. I wanted the career. I wanted it all, so I could have a future with Colby.
I couldn’t tell what was more important anymore. Hockey or her?
Both were huge aspects of my dream for my future. I wanted them to go together, and a contract with the Fury was how I could get both.
I knew from the moment we landed back in Salt Lake that I needed to be serious. I couldn’t slack off anymore. I had to throw myself completely into my training with laser focus.
I hadn’t been home much. If I wasn’t at practice I was working out. I was with a trainer. I was recovering.
I hadn’t been able to talk to Colby since we got back, but I was doing this for her. For us. I needed to work as hard as I could now, so we had a future.
I put my phone into my back pocket and got in my car. I pulled up the address Erik sent me and headed there. I only wanted to stay for a few minutes. Just long enough for them to know I appreciated their support. I didn’t have time to hang out for too long. I wanted to get home, so I could watch game film. We were playing Philadelphia next week, and they were a tough team. I wanted to study their plays as much as I could.
Donovan’s was closer than I was expected. I pulled up and found parking easily. I saw Erik’s Lamborghini and knew I wasn’t the first to arrive, so I headed in.
It was more of a bar than a restaurant, though it smelled like grease.
I walked to the back where I saw Erik, Hartman, Olli and a few other guys hanging out around a pool table.
“There he is!” Erik yelled when he saw me, and the guys cheered when I walked in and all I could
do was shake my head.
“We already ordered some burgers, they should be out soon.” Olli handed me a water cup.
“Thanks.”
I got roped into a game of pool before the food came out. A few other guys filtered in, followed by some women I didn’t recognize. They didn’t seem to know anyone specifically, so I guessed they were the type that sniffed out athletes and followed them around.
I avoided them as best I could, sticking to the guys.
A waitress came in with a tray full of shots and a pitcher of beer. I eyed it warily. I avoided alcohol even during the off season. I knew most of the guys did too. I looked over to where the women had taken over a table and saw them smiling. They must have thought they were doing us a favor.
I continued my game against Andersen, a forward from the third line. I wasn’t great at pool, but neither was he, so it ended up being a game of luck rather than skill.
“Next one who misses has to take a drink.”
I looked up at him and laughed. “Yeah right.”
His smile grew. “I’m serious.”
“Neither of us drink.”
He shrugged. “A shot won’t hurt, too much. Just don’t miss.”
I rolled my eyes and took my shot. And missed.
He jumped up from his perch on the edge of the table and grabbed me a small glass. “For you, loser.”
“No, man. I’m not drinking that.” He could make fun of me or call me whatever he wanted. I wasn’t going to do anything to mess up my mind or body. Not now.
“Come on, Malkin. Loosen up.”
I looked around and no one seemed to notice the juvenile peer pressure that was taking place.
“Fine.” I grabbed it and threw it over my shoulder instead of drinking.
“Nice try, bud. Now you have to drink two.”
“I don’t have to do anything.”
He laughed and put his arm over my shoulder. You’re way too uptight man. A little bit of this would take all that weight you're carrying around and throw it away.”
I narrowed my eyes. It wouldn’t solve anything. I might forget about my worries for a little while, but I needed a clear head. I needed to be at the top of my game.
Line Change: Utah Fury Hockey Book Three Page 15