by Mia Archer
I felt a bit of shame at voicing that thought, even if it was honestly how I felt. Claire had to deal with a couple of years of bullshit back in the day. The most I had to look forward to was another day before heading back to the city with Claire. I figured I was going to need to crash on her couch for a little while considering I didn’t want to deal with the awkward situation with Kyle any more than I had to.
Though I didn’t honestly think I’d be doing much crashing on the couch, if you catch my drift.
It was starting to spread now, and I had the uncomfortable feeling of being the center of attention. People were whispering to one another, nodding over to us holding hands. That could only mean one thing, and I was waiting for the explosion. I’d weather it, because that’s what I wanted. Because that’s what it would take to prove myself and be with Claire, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t going to suck.
“You just deal with it and remember that anyone who hates you for something you are, something you can’t change, probably isn’t someone you want to waste your breath on anyways,” Claire said.
So we moved into the crowd. The crowd that was whispering. I looked around and I caught sight of Claire’s sister somewhere off in the distance. I saw Darcy and Valerie arm in arm looking at us as well, Darcy with a smile on her face and Valerie with an unreadable expression which was a little weird but whatever.
Everyone was looking at us. Staring. It was definitely uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure what to do, but it turns out neither one of us needed to do anything.
“About damn time!” Derek yelled. “I hear you’re not the ice queen with Claire!”
Stacy smacked him, but for once I wasn’t annoyed at Derek calling me the ice queen. No, there was something about the way he was grinning as he shouted that made it absolutely clear there was no menace there. More somebody who was happy for an old friend, as odd as that seemed. Even more odd was that I found myself grinning at him as everyone else started hooting and hollering and clapping and cheering.
I was stunned. I felt heat coming to my cheeks. This was the last reaction I expected. It was like everyone at this party knew there was something going on between me and Claire, and everyone at this party had been secretly rooting for us. I was dumbfounded. I was amazed. I was touched.
I turned to Claire and I was surprised to see the light from the bonfire reflecting off of eyes that were watering as tears streamed down her face.
27: The Difference Five Years Makes
“Claire? What’s wrong?”
I blinked some of the tears out of my eyes and tried to wipe my cheeks, but before I could do anything Allison was there and she was wiping them away for me.
“Are you okay?”
Was I okay? I was better than okay. I was looking around at a crowd of people I’d gone to school with, some who’d caused trouble for me when I came out, and now all of them were cheering and acting like it was the greatest thing in the world that I came here hand in hand with Allison.
I’d spent so many years acting like I didn’t give a fuck about what these people thought. I’d invested so much in seeming like the hard ass lesbian who wasn’t affected by any of the bullshit. How could I explain that seeing all these people who’d pushed me away all those years ago suddenly rooting for me was bringing tears to my eyes?
I didn’t need their acceptance, but after all these years it was damn nice to have it. It amazed me how much things could change in a few short years, particularly when those few short years took me out of the crucible that was high school where everyone seemed intent on making everyone else’s life as miserable as possible.
“Sorry, I just got a little overwhelmed for a minute there,” I said.
“I think I understand completely,” Allison said. She wrapped an arm around me and we moved into the crowd.
I was surprised that Derek of all people was the first to come up to us. Stacy was right behind him with her arms crossed and she did not look happy, but Derek had a stupid grin on his face as he reached out and smacked me on the shoulder just like he would one of the guys. Sure it set me a bit off balance when he did it, the guy was still strong even if he’d let himself go since we graduated, but I appreciated the sentiment behind the gesture.
“I gotta thank you,” he said.
I blinked. That seemed like an unlikely reaction from a guy who’d dated Allison and famously got frustrated with her for not putting out. I’d just unlocked the door that he was never able to open. I figured he’d be more annoyed than anything else, but then again I was having trouble understanding anything that was going on here so I figured I’d just go with the flow.
“You do?”
“Yup! I just won a bet with the missuz here thanks to you two showing up together like that!”
Stacy smacked him on the shoulder then turned to smile at us. Derek flinched but that was the extent of his reaction. He surprised me even more by pulling Allison into a huge bear hug. That seemed to surprise Allison and Stacy just as much. Her eyes went wide but then Allison returned the hug.
“What was that for?” she asked when he put her down.
“Hey, I was kinda a dick for dumping you because you wouldn’t put out,” he said. “I hope you and Claire are happy. She’s good people. Better than that asshole you had around earlier.”
“I’ll still kick your fat ass in a game of beach volleyball,” I said with a grin of my own creeping across my face.
Derek looked me up and down and grinned. “Yeah, we’ll see about that later maybe.”
Okay, so that was weird and fucked up and completely unexpected, but at the same time it was a hell of a lot better than the reaction I was expecting from Derek. He seemed like the sort of guy who might be more annoyed than anything that I got to the prize when he was never able to, but it seemed that was all water under the bridge.
As we moved through the crowd the reactions continued to surprise me. People who’d been hostile, or at the very least they’d treated my coming out like the scandal of the century as it was happening, were coming up and slapping me on the back. Smiling. Congratulating Allison and I on finally patching things up.
I probably should’ve been more surprised that everyone seemed to know what was going on with me and Allison, but I’d had Amy’s warning to prepare me for that at least. Allison also seemed to be taking it in stride as more and more people were coming up all smiles.
It was definitely a huge change. I suppose that was the difference five years made with people going out into the world and learning a little bit about being nice to others. Or it could’ve been that there’d been one hell of a change in society even in the seven years since I’d come out. It also could’ve been that everyone had done a lot of growing up. Probably it was a little bit of all of the above, and I welcomed it.
Finally I felt a slap on my back and turned to see Samantha grinning at me. It was a huge shit-eating grin and I knew what was coming before she even said it. She was about to take credit for all of this, never mind that I was the one who’d done all the difficult bullshit.
“See? Aren’t you glad I forced you to go to that party?” she asked.
“Can it Sam,” I said with a grin.
I was feeling so good right now that I was willing to put up with her pushing and prodding. After all, she was right on some level. Her meddling was part of the reason I was standing here with Allison at my side even if it had infuriated me at the time.
Darcy was close behind Sam, standing there with Valerie. I was proud of myself for finally remembering the girl’s name. She had a smile on her face, but it looked forced. Whatever. She had Darcy and it wasn’t my problem that I ended up being the secret lesbian best friend who won the contest for Allison’s heart.
“Finally decide to come out to the world, eh?” Darcy asked.
I blinked. “What are you talking about?”
“You and Allison of course. Everyone knew something was going on. Do you have any idea how hard it was to keep my mouth shut a
bout your crush all these years? That would’ve been good for taking some heat off when my mom was going through her angry phase.”
I laughed and pulled Darcy into a hug. Sure she’d always been the friend who’d been a bit more ambivalent about my announcement back in the day, but she’d still stood by me which is more than I could say about most people. Not to mention that she had her own problems she was dealing with at the time, as was evidenced by her showing up on Valerie’s arm in the here and now.
“So are we double dating sometime?” Darcy asked. “We’ll be heading your way before we fly out.”
“I suppose. I know a great bar that I think you might like, though I should warn you my friends can get a little rowdy.”
Damn. The girls at the bar. So much had happened and I hadn’t told them a thing. Then again considering where they thought things were last night it was going to take a bit of explaining to take things from the revenge fuck to Allison’s boyfriend showing up, proposing to her, and potentially ruining everything before the universe finally came in with a Hail Mary that saved my butt.
Though I suppose that cosmic Hail Mary had ruined everything for that Kyle guy. I should’ve felt bad about that, but from what I’d seen of him it didn’t seem like a terrible tragedy, or much of a surprise for that matter, that the days of their relationship were numbered.
No, that was a zombie relationship to begin with. I wasn’t the one who finally put it down.
I looked around and took everything in. My old friends from the softball team standing around me smiling. Allison off to one side in my arms looking beautiful in general but even more so whenever she turned to smile at me. She was mine. Finally, after so much heartache and trouble, she was all mine.
Then there were the people surrounding us. People who I thought were my enemies, or at the very least they weren’t very friendly, but now they were smiling and seemed more than cool with us being together.
It was weird, but it felt good. It felt like I needed to do something crazy, so I pulled Allison against me and into one hell of a thorough kiss that had Sam and Darcy cat calling. When I came up for air Allison looked surprised, but there was no denying how much she’d enjoyed that.
“What was that for?” she asked.
“Just for being you,” I said. “Now come on. Let’s get drunk and enjoy the party!”
I never thought I’d hear myself say that. Then again I never thought I’d find myself at a beach party arm in arm with Allison looking forward to a future together.
Funny how quickly life can change for the better.
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