by Amelia Grey
“Yes, it is.” She glanced down at the pages for a moment, feeling a bit guilty about her prevarication. “Did you want something?”
She looked into his eyes and for a moment thought just maybe he might be thinking about last night, too.
But he made no mention of it when he folded his paper and said, “I have several things to do today and I’m getting a late start.”
“I’ll have Whibbs get your breakfast right away,” she said and started to rise.
“No, don’t get up. I’ve already eaten. I was just waiting until you came down before I left.”
For the first time she looked down at his plate. “Oh, I see. Then don’t let me keep you,” she said coolly. “I’m sure you have a lot of things to do.”
“I probably won’t be back until it’s time to go to the first party.”
He sounded so formal she had no choice but to answer in the same tone. “I shall be ready at the usual time. I hope you have a good day.”
He rose and asked, “Will you go to your reading group today?”
“No, that was yesterday. I think I’ll visit my aunt later.”
“Give her my regards,” he said and walked out of the room.
Olivia’s heart sank to the floor. Andrew had made her his wife, but now she wanted to be a part of his life, too. She wanted him to love her and want to be with her. Would he ever forgive her for the forced marriage?
After a walk in the garden, Olivia ate breakfast and went upstairs to change into a carriage dress. But before she made it out of the house Ellie announced that Lady Lynette was in the parlor and wanted to see her if she was available.
A few minutes later Olivia walked into the parlor. “Lynette, I’m so glad you came by. I was just thinking about stopping by to see you after visiting Aunt Agatha.”
Lynette rose from the settee and turned toward Olivia.
Olivia gasped in surprise as a smile stretched across her face. Lynette was wearing the flesh-colored paste from the apothecary over her birthmark and the dark red skin hardly showed at all. From a distance it looked as if the birthmark had disappeared. How wonderful for her friend.
“You look beautiful,” Olivia said sincerely as she stood in front of her friend.
Lynette laughed. “I do, don’t I,” she said.
“Yes, you do. Absolutely lovely. Your birthmark is gone.”
“Just hidden,” Lynette said. “I had a note from the apothecary waiting for me when I rose. He asked me to come at once. It was much too early to call on you so I went with just my maid. He put the cream on and when I saw myself in the looking glass I started crying.”
“Oh, Lynette, I hope they were tears of happiness.”
“Of course. I can’t thank you enough for all your help. Long ago I gave up hope there was anything that could make this disappear.” She lightly touched her cheek. “But look what a few years have done.”
Lynette reached over and gave Olivia an unexpected hug.
Touched by her friend’s show of warmth, Olivia embraced her with enthusiasm and patted her affectionately on the back.
“I’m just so happy you have the confidence to wear the concoction outside your house where others can see you. It really covers the birthmark very well.”
“I think it’s miraculous,” Lynette said as they parted and sat down on the settee.
“Has your father seen you?”
“Yes, and all the servants, too, though none of them has had the courage to say a word to me,” she said and then finished with a girlish giggle.
“What did your father say?”
“What you would expect a father to say. That I’m beautiful just as I am and I don’t need anything to cover what God saw fit to give me.”
“Your father is right. You are beautiful inside and out and you always have been,” Olivia assured her.
“But I told him I want to do this. For the first time in my life I want people looking at me and not seeing my birthmark. I told my father that I’m going to wear the cream tonight.”
Now that Lynette actually was going to do it, Olivia felt apprehensive for her. “Are you sure you’re ready for that?”
“I was ready fifteen years ago.”
“You know people will question you about it and talk about you, and I just don’t want you to be upset by any of their comments.”
“No one could question me more than my father. I’m confident this is what I want to do. I’m ready for their comments. I want to know what they think about me without my birthmark.”
“Which party are you going to first? I want to be there in case you need a friend.”
“That would be lovely of you, Olivia. I’ll go to the Great Hall first. I might as well shock as many people as possible the first time I’m out.”
Lynette laughed and Olivia joined her.
“But speaking of parties, what happened to you last night? I never saw you at any of the parties.”
“I know. I—I, Andrew and I, well, we—” Olivia felt heat rise in her cheeks. She couldn’t believe how dreadfully she was stumbling over her words.
Lynette laughed again. “You don’t have to say anything more. I can see that you and your husband decided to spend the evening alone.”
“Yes,” Olivia said, quite happy to get off that subject. “How was your evening?”
“Oh, lovely. Simply perfect,” she said with a teasing smile.
“And what made it perfect?” Olivia asked, though she had a feeling she knew.
“The Marquis of Musgrove Glenn asked me to dance again.”
“Lynette, how wonderful.”
“Yes, it was wonderful, magnificent, and breathtaking.” Her eyes turned dreamy. “It was heavenly. I don’t think I dance when I’m with him. I think I float on air the entire time we’re together. After the dance we talked about his children. He told me he was impressed I remembered their names.”
Olivia smiled. “Did he? How very nice of him to tell you.”
“And he’s very fond of my father, you know.” She stopped and sighed. “But he danced with several other ladies last night. All of them much younger and prettier than I, and two of them are absolutely beautiful.”
“I say nonsense to any of them being more beautiful than you. That is simply not true. And they certainly are not more knowledgeable of life and people and managing a house than you. They may be younger than you, but youth is not what the marquis needs to take on the responsibilities of children. Besides, you are younger than the marquis, are you not?”
“By four years. I think the dances I’ve had with him the last few nights are what made me decide I want to wear this cream tonight.” She pointed to her cheek. “I want the marquis more than anyone to see me as I would be without this mark on my face.”
Olivia’s heart swelled for her friend. They both wanted the love of a man who wasn’t prepared to give it.
“I pray he will see you as the beautiful woman you are.”
Lynette took in a deep breath. “Before his other two marriages I never tried to gain his attention. I couldn’t compete with either of them. But I’m not going to lose this opportunity to let him know that I would make him a good wife and a good mother to his children. It’s now or never.”
“That’s the spirit. But speaking of attention, what will you do if you are written about in Lord Truefitt’s column?”
Lynette looked stunned for a moment. “Why would I write about—?” She stopped speaking abruptly, paused, and cleared her throat before saying, “Why would he want to write about me?”
Olivia looked closely at Lynette. She suddenly looked a little flustered and Olivia wasn’t sure why.
“Lord Truefitt will write about you because of the change in your appearance, of course. This will be the biggest news of the Season. You must be prepared for the gossip you will sti
r. Or, perhaps you shouldn’t read the gossip columns for a few days if it will upset you. I’m sure you will be mentioned.”
Suddenly a cunning smile spread across Lynette’s face that Olivia didn’t understand. “Oh yes, maybe I will show up in Lord Truefitt’s column, at least once. And don’t worry about me being upset about it. I think it would be wonderful after all these years to have a little gossip written about me.”
Half an hour after Lynette left, Olivia hurried upstairs to get her bonnet, pelisse, and reticule so she could go to her aunt’s house. Before she could gather her things together Ellie came up and told her that her aunt had stopped by to see her.
Olivia walked into the parlor and saw Agatha sitting on the settee. Her shoulders and back were straight, her eyes were closed, and her face had that serene expression that she always wore when she was thinking about Lord Pinkwater.
Something stirred inside Olivia, and for the first time she could truly relate to what her aunt must be feeling when she thought about Lord Pinkwater. Olivia would be devastated if Andrew abandoned her for another. She could also feel and understand what her mother must have felt. It would be unbearable to be sent to the country to live while Andrew stayed in London.
What would she do?
Exactly what her mother and aunt had done. Spend her days reliving past love, knowing there was never going to be a future.
Olivia closed her eyes for a moment and silently vowed that she would not let that happen to her. She would not be cast aside by her husband.
“How are you, Auntie?” Olivia said, putting a smile on her face and walking over to the settee. Agatha’s lashes fluttered open. Her sharp gaze centered on Olivia’s face.
“Livy, dear, I was worried about you when I didn’t see you at any of the parties last evening. You’re not ill, are you?”
Olivia bent down and kissed her aunt on the cheek. “I am fine.” A calming peace settled over Olivia as she sat down beside her aunt. “Andrew and I decided to stay home last night and get to know each other better.”
Her aunt looked surprised. “Well, that’s nice, deary. You look happier than I’ve seen you since we arrived in London.”
“I’m finally getting used to London, to my husband, and to marriage.”
“That’s what I wanted to hear. I know they are all big adjustments for you.” She reached over and patted Olivia’s hand. “I was so hoping you would find happiness here with the earl. I couldn’t help but think there might be something developing between the two of you that first night you met him.”
Her aunt was intuitive. If there hadn’t been some kind of draw to Andrew Olivia would never have allowed him to kiss her that night. Olivia was sure she hadn’t obtained happiness quite yet, but she definitely knew she would if she could change Andrew’s opinion of her.
“Now tell me, Livy, I came over because I was thinking about Lord Pinkwater today and I wanted to know if he’d made contact with you yet.”
Olivia’s heart constricted. Though she had no reasonable explanation for the identity of the man she saw in her room on her wedding night, or the man’s voice she heard, she couldn’t tell her aunt she thought Lord Pinkwater’s ghost was in the house.
“No, Auntie,” she said, feeling comfortable with her answer.
“Have you felt his presence at all?”
“I don’t think so,” Olivia said, not knowing who or what she had seen and heard in the house. “Has he visited you again or called to you since you’ve been in London?”
Agatha shook her head. “He’s been quiet since I arrived. Except for the first night we came to this house.” Her face looked pained for a moment. “I know he’s here. Sometimes I feel him so strongly I can hardly bear it, but he won’t speak to me. He remains silent, as if waiting for the right moment to speak.”
Olivia wished she knew how to help her aunt, how to take away the pain of loss she’d lived with for so many years. In a way she would like for Lord Pinkwater to be a real ghost so he could come to Agatha and put her mind to rest.
“Why do you think he has stopped calling to you now that you are in London where he could reach you?”
“I don’t know. I’m confused about that. He must be waiting for what he considers the right time. I think he has always liked the idea of me waiting for him.”
And she was still waiting for him, but Olivia knew what Agatha didn’t. Lord Pinkwater was never coming back.
“Would you like to walk around the house? Perhaps if you are alone he will speak to you again.”
Agatha smiled and patted Olivia’s hand again. “I think that is exactly what I’ll do.”
An hour later, Agatha made more excuses for Lord Pinkwater not showing himself to her and said it was time for her to leave. Olivia said good-bye to her and shut the front door. She turned to see Ellie standing right behind her.
Startled, she said, “Ellie, I didn’t know you were behind me.”
Her big, pale blue eyes widened. “I’m sorry, Countess, I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
“I wasn’t exactly frightened,” Olivia said, though she wasn’t sure that was a true statement. It wasn’t like her to be spooked by anything, but all the talk of ghosts must have put her on edge. “Just please announce yourself next time.”
“Yes, Countess.”
“What did you want?”
“I was going upstairs to prepare your clothes for the evening and wondered if you had a special dress you wanted to wear tonight.”
Olivia thought for a moment. “Perhaps the pale yellow one with the three flounces.”
“I’ll make sure your gloves and everything else match perfectly,” Ellie said and then hurried to the rear of the house and up the servants’ stairs.
Olivia rubbed her arms as if she were chilled. She tried to shake off the unsettled feeling she had when she saw Ellie standing behind her. Ever since she’d found the maid in the upstairs room she’d felt that something wasn’t quite right.
Perhaps her unsettled feeling was simply inspired by Agatha’s talk of Lord Pinkwater, or maybe there really were strange things going on in this house.
***
There was a horse race in Hyde Park, so activity in various rooms at White’s was slow. Andrew didn’t even hear the smack of a billiard ball coming from the next room. Any other time he would have been out at the race himself.
Today he just didn’t have the desire to go. That was unusual for him. But what was even more unusual was the fact that ever since he’d left his house he’d wanted to turn around and go back and be with his wife.
All he had been doing since he left was think about last night and how good Olivia had made him feel during those hours he’d spent with her. He’d had some idea how she would react to his touch, but she had responded to him beyond his dreams.
He desperately wanted to be with her again.
When he decided to marry Olivia he vowed she wouldn’t disrupt his life. He planned to go about his daily and nightly routine as if he wasn’t married, he planned to get a mistress, but none of those things were happening as easily as he thought they would.
Olivia kept getting in the way of his returning to his old life.
He hadn’t been able to find a mistress because Olivia was the only woman he wanted to take to bed. He had lost his desire to spend the entire night at the clubs gambling, drinking, and gaming because he knew Olivia was at home and he wanted to be there with her. Now he couldn’t even enjoy a horse race during the afternoon because he was thinking about Olivia.
She had bewitched him with her quiet presence. He told her he didn’t want to talk at breakfast so she brought a book to read. That was damn irritating. He found out quickly that if she was going to be in the room he wanted her attention.
He laughed to himself and picked up his ale. He knew she’d captivated him the moment he saw her in his room
, smelling his soap, but a lot of beautiful women had captivated him over the years. He didn’t know how or why, but he knew Olivia was different from the rest.
Last night had proved that to him.
“Good Lord, I can’t believe you’re here. I thought you would have been out at the big race.”
Andrew looked up to see Chandler Prestwick walking up to his table.
“You can’t believe I’m here? I think it’s more of a shock that you are here than I. Didn’t you give up coming to White’s after you married?”
Chandler chuckled. “Well, not completely. I still come in once in a while as you well know.” He pulled out a chair and joined Andrew at the table.
“Obviously, as you are here.”
“Today I’m meeting a gentleman who wants to talk with me about that new steam engine that everyone is talking about. He wants me to invest in its development.”
Andrew motioned for the waiter to bring Chandler a tankard of ale. “Hmm. I should have known you weren’t here in the middle of the afternoon just for drink and entertainment, but there’s no reason you can’t enjoy ale while you’re here.”
Chandler looked around the club room. “I see only three other people in this room and they’re talking quietly. I don’t think you’re going to find much gaiety here today. It’s all out at Hyde Park.”
A good time is not what I’m looking for today.
“Sometimes quiet is good.”
The waiter placed a tankard in front of Chandler. He moved it in a circular motion for a moment or two before saying, “John told me about you and Olivia.”
Damn.
“Told you what?” Andrew said, hoping he might be wrong about Chandler’s meaning.
“That you haven’t made love to your wife.”
Andrew swore under his breath. “I should have known he’d run right over and tell you.”
“We’re all three still best friends, Andrew. Our marriages haven’t changed that.”
“Well, it’s no longer true.”
Chandler leaned back as if Andrew had tried to strike him. “You don’t think we’re your best friends? Bloody hell, have we been that distant to you?”