I felt tears sting my eyes as he leaned his head over and I pulled him close. I never would have thought he had gone through such horrors as a child. The Alejandro Castillo I had been spending time with, seemed to kind and fun and gentle to have been subjected to such cruelty. How did he stay this way? I couldn’t imagine how I would have turned out had it happened to me. All he wanted was someone to love him the only way he knew how and he had picked me.
The only problem with our scenario was that I was engaged to be married to a man that I did still love somewhat.
“Te amo princesa,” he whispered. “No puedo evitarlo.”
I pulled back and took his face into my hands. I looked deep into his eyes before I spoke.
“I don’t know what to do right now, Alejandro. I want to stay here with you but I don’t think I can. I want to see where this goes but I don’t think I can. There’s so much I want to do by your side, but I ... I don’t think I can. I feel like absolute shit for doing this to you,” I said with tears forming in my eyes again.
“Don’t feel bad or cry, Liv,” he said pulling me against his sweaty body. “I knew you were committed to another man when I sat next to you on the plane. I knew there was a good chance that being with you intimately probably would not happen, but it did and it was the most amazing feeling I have ever had. I can never thank you or repay you enough for what you have done for me.”
I sniffled.
Mitch had never made me feel as wanted as Alejandro had in a matter of days.
This man was broken and he knew it. He claimed me to be the one to help him without my ever knowing this was his intentions.
“Did I frighten you? Showing up everywhere you and Cassidy were?” he asked.
I laughed and pulled away from him. I wiped the tears from my eyes and smiled at his amused grin.
“Not really. See Cassidy and I have a safe word we worked out years ago in case either of us had ever gotten ourselves into a situation that was too much for us to handle, so I knew that no matter what your size is we’d be able to get away if we needed to,” I replied.
He laughed and I was relieved to see that his hurt and pain from telling me such an important, integral part of his life seemed miles away again.
“Do you believe in love, Livie?” he asked suddenly. “Honest, pure love?”
I looked at the thoughtful look on his face. It seemed like an innocent enough question.
“I like to believe it’s real. I’ve never experienced it before,” I admitted sadly.
“Nor have I. But I like to believe that I can experience it with you,” he replied glancing at me.
“If that’s true,” I began carefully, “Then I have a proposition to make.”
“Tell me.”
“Well, I have about a week or so left in Spain as a whole. I think we should spend the rest of the time apart until my last day here. Just to see if we still feel that it could be possible for us to love each other.”
He looked at me like I had just shattered the perfect world he had already set out for the both of us. I moved to the side and covered myself with the blankets as Alejo stood up and started to pace. I could tell he was contemplating this and it would be a serious decision for him to make.
“One condition,” he said as he stopped to face me.
“Yes?”
“That you make a decision by the time you leave.”
I took a deep breath. I was going to be away from the sweetest temptation I’ve ever had for almost a week and in that time I wouldn’t think about him; I knew it. I would think only of what I was doing as time passed and it wouldn’t be fair to either of us.
But, nonetheless, I agreed.
“When do we start this separation?” he asked.
“I would think tomorrow would be a good idea,” I said glancing out into the still darkness.
“Good, then I will give you something to think about,” he said as he slid back into the bed with me.
Alejandro spent the next three hours making gentle, sweet love to me.
When we woke up the next morning, I dressed quickly and kissed him softly on his lips before I started to walk away. He grabbed my hand and looked at me for a moment, before he let go.
I walked out without so much as a backwards glance. I was proud of myself because I felt myself slightly hurting as I left him lying in the bed. I felt like I had abandoned him after he had opened himself up to me about the horrors he had been through as a child.
I decided to walk to the hotel from where I was. True, I probably should have showered before I left because I probably had stained legs but I just kept my eyes forward and walked barefoot all the way back. Every turn I took and every street I crossed, I could feel the eyes of people on me. I probably looked like an assault victim wandering aimlessly as I tried to remember the way back, but I was determined and I knew I would find it.
When I saw the hotel a few blocks away, I broke into a run. I was really dying to take a shower and to not be stared at anymore. I slowed down as I approached the lobby doors and used my hands to smooth out my hair before I walked in.
I took a deep breath, and with my head held high, walked in to everyone staring at me including the concierge. He looked like he was tempted to approach me about my appearance but I’m sure the words “Señor Castillo” would make him think it over.
I stood in front of the elevator, pushing the button over and over impatiently. A few seconds later, the door open and Cassidy stepped out. When she saw me, she looked completely shocked.
“Oh my God, Olivia! What happened to you? Are you okay? Did you get hurt?”
“I’m fine. Trust me,” I replied with a smile. “I just want to go take a shower. Meet me in my room in about twenty minutes if you’re not going anywhere, okay? I think it would be a good idea to head to Barcelona early,” I said as the doors closed in front of me.
I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the wall. I wondered what Alejandro was doing right now, if anything. Was he thinking of me? Or was he trying to put me out of his mind like I was trying to desperately do with him?
I walked down the hallway quickly and dragged my small duffel bag into the bathroom. I turned on the shower and made it a bit hotter than I normally would, so that I knew it would be able to get the blood off of me easier.
Pushing the curtains aside, I washed away the blood, the stains of lust, and attempted to wash away all feelings and thoughts of Alejandro at the same time.
I spent thirty steaming minutes in the shower scrubbing myself clean. I turned off the water when I was satisfied that I had washed the night away off of me and stood there for a moment, letting the water drip slowly off me.
I heard a knock on the door and knew it was Cassidy. I has relieved that she was ten minutes late because it gave me extra time to clean myself thoroughly enough. I wrapped a towel around myself and walked out of the bathroom to let her in.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked as she stepped in and still looking worried.
“I’m fine,” I replied with a laugh. “I’m gonna dry off and get dressed. Have you thought about going to Barcelona early, by the way?” I asked leaving the door open a crack.
“Sure, we can go early if you want. I mean I couldn’t think of what else we wanted to see in Ibiza anyway. Is Alejandro coming?” she asked.
“No. No more Alejandro for the rest of the trip,” I replied brushing my hair.
“You didn’t kill him did you? Is that why you want to leave?” she asked in concern.
I started to laugh. My closest friends knew that I had a notoriously bad temper but they also knew that I would never ever kill anyone.
“You’re too much!” I said as I began to put my clothes from the night before into my bag and get dressed.
“Just checking,” she replied with a laugh. “So why no more?”
“Because we made a deal,” I explained as I walked out of the bathroom fully dressed, and tossing the bag by the door. “We won’t see
each other for the rest of the trip, until you and I are ready to blow Madrid and head back to the States.”
“Oh okay,” she said. I knew that she wouldn’t ask any more questions because that was Cassidy’s way of ending a conversation.
“Anyway, there’s a non-stop flight that leaves at three thirty. We can make it if we leave in a couple of hours,” I said as we walked out of the room and headed down to the lobby to check out.
“Hola,” I said to the concierge. He seemed relieved that I looked like a normal human again and smiled at me.
“¿Si, Señora?” he asked.
“We’re checking out,” I replied sliding him the keys from mine and Cassidy’s respective rooms.
He looked in the system, “You are scheduled until Friday.”
I smiled at his accent. So he could speak English after all.
“I know but we’re checking out today.”
He punched a few keys into the computer and looked up at me, “Is Señor Castillo with you? He will need to sign these papers.”
I sighed. So much for not seeing him until I left again.
“No, can you call him so he can come sign for us then? His number should be on the reservations right?”
The concierge looked over the paperwork, “Si.”
“What’s your name, by the way?” I asked raising an eyebrow.
“Pablo.”
“Thanks for being so nice to us Pablo,” I said with a smile.
He picked up the phone and called Alejandro while myself and Cassidy went to sit in the opulent couches that were positioned neatly in the lobby.
Ten minutes later, Alejo walked into the hotel looking absolutely divine. He was dressed in a crisp white button shirt and khaki pants. He was wearing black flip flops and I could smell him as he walked right passed us. He smiled at the concierge and shook his hand as the man handed him the papers. I watched Alejo sign his name and say something to Pablo.
My face turned red, and I shrunk a little in my seat as Pablo nodded and pointed to where Cassidy and I were sitting. Alejo glanced over at us and thanked Pablo.
I looked up when he stopped in front of us.
“I believe this is yours,” he said opening his hand.
Oh my God.
“Thank you,” I said softly as I took my engagement ring out of his hand and slid it onto my finger.
He nodded and smiled at Cassidy before he walked out without looking back.
“I like him,” she remarked as we stood up and went outside to hail a cab.
“He’s okay,” I replied.
“Right,” she said raising an eyebrow at me.
We were finally able to stop a cab driver and put our stuff into the car as we began our drive to the airport. We chatted mindlessly about nothing really and I was careful to avoid any conversation that would include Alejo.
When we arrived at the airport, the cab driver helped us pull our bags out and after we paid him, we walked around to find out which flights were heading to Barcelona and went to the counter to buy our tickets.
The girl took our passports and put our information into the system. I had my credit card on the desk waiting for her, but without swiping it she handed us two plane tickets to Barcelona.
“Isn’t there a charge for changing flight times?” I asked curiously.
“Yes. But everything has been taken care of,” she responded with a smile.
“How?” Cassidy asked.
“Your arrangements have been paid for by a Señor Castillo,” she said as she looked at the screen again.
I rolled my eyes and took my ticket. I put my credit card away and looked over at Cassidy who was laughing.
“Well, think about it this way. At least he can’t pay for anything once we get to Barcelona,” she said patting me on the back.
“Let’s get the hell out of here,” I grumbled.
As usual, we took all of our bags with us to the gate and they placed them under the plane for us free of charge. After we found our seats, I looked up and watched everyone who filed onto the plane half expecting to see Alejo walk down the aisle and take a seat behind me again.
But he never did board the plane. In a way I was happy but sad at the same time because it dawned on me that we never did say where we would meet on the last day.
Too late to worry about that now, Liv.
Almost an hour later we landed in Barcelona. I looked around and smiled as we rushed through the airport to grab our belongings and head out into the street.
“This is going to be so much fun,” I exclaimed.
“I know!” Cassidy agreed happily.
We arrived at the Hilton Barcelona. Since Alejo had saved us almost a thousand dollars by paying for our stay in Ibiza, we decided to splurge a little. As I checked us in, Cassidy wandered around the lobby to look at the local things to do and she came back excitedly with a flier.
“Look! It’s the Running of the Bulls tomorrow!”
I took the flier and asked the person behind the desk exactly where this would be and wrote down the directions from the hotel.
“This should be fun, but I’m not going to be anywhere near that crowd while they go by,” I said to Cassidy as we took the elevator to the ninth floor.
“Me either,” she replied with a laugh.
Cassidy said she was going to explore Barcelona a bit and agree that I should get some rest. Technically I hadn’t slept in a few days because somehow I always managed to have Alejandro in bed with me.
I walked into my room and dropped my bags by the side of the bed and flopped face down into the pillows. I didn’t bother with the sheets; I just closed my eyes and fell asleep faster than I thought I would be able too.
The only reason I woke up a few hours later was because of the knocking at the door. I opened my eyes and looked at the dark night sky and smiled. For some reason, being in Spain didn’t make me grumpy when I was woken up unexpectedly which was saying something.
I lay there for a moment, until the knock came again and I stretched before heading to open it. Cassidy was standing on the other side with a smile.
“This town is great,” she said.
“That’s good; it couldn’t wait until morning though?” I asked with a laugh.
“Sorry, I’m just so excited because I know it’s going to be a great time,” she said laughing.
I looked at her for a moment. It was obvious to me that she had a few drinks on her excursion so I helped her get to her room and set her alarm clock for two in the morning.
We had to leave really early in the morning to be able to make it to the train station and catch the entire ceremony.
I helped her climb into bed and pulled her sheets over her.
“I’m going to go back to sleep. We have to leave super early in the morning,” I said to her.
“Oh okay. Well I’m going to go to sleep then too. I’ll see you in the morning okay?”
“Sure, good night.”
I walked back to my room and yawned as I closed the door. I thought of Alejandro for some reason.
I was a very stubborn person and because we had made a pact of sorts, I was going to make sure we would abide by it. Though I couldn’t help but wonder if I would see him tomorrow.
I would have to act like he didn’t exist.
Even if it hurt him or made him angry.
Even if it would bother me to walk away and know that he wouldn’t be coming to my bed.
I sighed and walked back into bed and slipped back into a restless sleep.
When I woke up the next morning, I went straight to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I looked in the mirror at myself and smiled because for the first time in a few days, I didn’t look tired.
As I ran my brush through my hair I wondered if I wanted to go to the Running after all. I knew Alejandro would be there, but what were the chances that I would run into him again with all the people that should be there?
Just go. There’s nothing wrong with seeing him.
<
br /> It was still dark out because we knew it would take about four hours to get to Pamplona, and we didn’t want to miss anything. I rested my head on her shoulder for the entire ride and tried to keep my eyes open. I was still a bit tired even if I didn’t look it and I wished I had taken better care of how I looked.
I was dressed in a black camisole with an oversized white tank top over it and short blue denim shorts. I was wearing black Chucks and I had my hair pulled back away from my face with a bandanna tied to keep any strands from slipping out. I looked kind of Rockabilly and I knew I that I was screaming American.
Cassidy was dressed comfortably as always. She was wearing an oversized shirt and capri denim pants paired with her black sneakers. Her hair was pulled back as well.
“Finally!” we said in unison as the train pulled into the station.
As we stood in line to step out I looked out the windows and smiled. The city looked so alive at the moment and I was getting excited. We decided to walk to where we were told we would get a great view of the bulls. It was seven thirty in the morning so we had a half an hour to find a good spot before they let them run through the town.
Because we’re two of the shorter people in the crowd, a lot of the attendants to the event, helped push us to the front so that we would be able to hold on to the iron barricade and be able to see. I secretly thought it was because we were Americans and they wanted us to see how Pamplona celebrated. Either way, we were both very thankful and chatted with the friendly people that stood around us.
Claiming Olivia Page 7