The front door slams. Lauren is in my ear talking shit.
“Get the fuck on,” I snap at her just how I did with Blu after finding out about those sessions.
“Nah, I’ma sit here with you for a minute until you realize who is important in your life!” Lauren takes a seat on the couch across from me and all I can do is think about Blu. What I’ma tell her? She was mad when I pushed her off of Lauren, but I only wanted to make sure lil’ mama didn’t catch a case.
I snatch my cell phone out of my pocket. Blu had driven herself here in Rita’s car. I need to ensure she makes it home.
“Who you calling? You calling that bitch?” Lauren snaps, leaning forward on the table across from me.
I glare at the red spatula grill mark on her forehead. “Lauren cool yo’ ass down, ma. Can’t you see I’m on the phone.”
The way she acting make me think she the one on a foul tip. Besides Blu ain't the type to start shit for nothing. “Sorry about that, Toi,” I say as Toi begins to ask ‘hello’ with an attitude for the third time.
“Oh, Popeye it’s you? Sup?” Toi replies.
“Aye, Blu just left my house. If she ain’t home soon we need to find her. But does she have a cell phone?”
“Dang, what happened?” Toi asks. After listening to the story, she says, “Nah Blu ain’t got no phone. Aye, she… I think she’s coming in now.”
“Can you give her the phone?” I ask as Toi sounds like she’s getting up.
“Man, Popeye, she is pissed,” Toi sounds too afraid to go hand her the phone.
“A’ight then, Antoinetta.” I hang up with Toi, feeling some type away that I can’t speak with Blu, but happy she ain’t in the streets. I look up and Lauren is still glaring through me as if she’s waiting for something. “So you done with your call, it’s safe to say I can speak, now. I’m not finna be in your ear, I just wanna say one thing. What you calling that bitch for? If she ain’t run to the pipe yet, it’s only a matter of time Popeye. I’m the one here for you, PJ and Granny.”
“Man, Lauren, shut the fuck up.” I’m trying to keep calm. Can’t believe how bad I treated Blu after the drive by. Promised if we ever worked it out, I would be better. Been better. Shit too damn good to Lauren, and she’s crossing the fucking line. So, I sit with the phone in my hand thinking about going to Rita’s and apologize to Blu for this shit. I get up.
“I’ma call the police then,” Lauren spouts off at the mouth, following me. “Popeye, I was just assaulted. You better tell the police, when they get on the phone!”
I snatch the iPhone, seeing that she hasn’t even dialed any numbers. I push her stupid ass, not hard, but enough for her to do a little one two step and shut the fuck up for a second.
I open the door. And just like Granny did when my mom would come home loaded, she’s sings one of her old Gospel songs rubbing Phillip’s head as he lays in her lap
“PJ come here, son.” I stand at the door. He jumps up from bed and comes to me.
“Yes Daddy?” he asks, with his red-rimmed eyes.
“What did Lauren say about ya moms?” I look him in the eye, like the little man he is.
“I am his momma!” Lauren says from behind me. She tries to get in front of me, but I block her.
“Nah, ma. You ain't.” I snap at her the way I used to do with Blu after the drive by and Lauren damn near jumps out of her Nikes. I was in so much fucking pain, PJ would be crying about this or that, and I couldn’t barely help my fucking wife. That was the worst I had ever treated Blu. I’ve been regretting it ever since. But Lauren’s bitch ass needs to be bucked up on.
“Little dude, what did Lauren say?” I ask again, since PJ looks too afraid to speak.
“The bish said Mommy hit me! The bish said you wanted Mommy to leave because she be bad and hit me hard …and…and that Mommy makes me cry. Mommy does make me cry tho’. Because she no come all the time.” He shakes his head. “And that’s all Daddy. Promise!”
“You told my son that his moms put hands on him?” My fire eyes turned to Lauren, who has a dead wrong look on her face.
Chapter 41
BLU.
The next morning, Toi tells me that Popeye has been calling to check on me. So I snatch up the house phone in the kitchen, lean against the wall and call him. Soon as I say ‘hi,’ this nigga starts harping about last night and Lauren and shit.
“Man, don't even tell me all that, Popeye. You and ya hoe is your business. I know you ain't gon’ let her hurt Phillip. If she's good to him, it's whatever. Tell Granny I’m sorry for showing my ass yesterday. Now can you just meet me real quick?” I sigh, trying to make this easy.
“Yeah,” he sounds defeated. I don’t know why.
“I want a picture of Phillip Junior,” I ask, trying to be nice since I disrespected his granny’s crib, but the bitch had it coming. I feel bad for not telling her to step outside tho’.
“Yeah ma.”
After Lakitha drops off our two younger sisters, we end up at Paco’s again. Surprisingly, Popeye doesn’t have that buzzard with him. It’s just before lunchtime the place isn’t all that busy.
I pull up a chair at the bar. “Look this the longest convo I had in almost three years since the last time I talked to you, boo. So realize I ain't that girl no more. Just gimme the picture of my son.”
“So you still love me?”
“Yes. Now gimme–”
“Why?”
“Why what? Oh my God,” I lean against the counter. “Nigga, you and Phillip just alike! Always asking questions! I can't.”
“You can't tell me why you fucked up our home? If you love me like you say you do, Blu, you owe me just that. I ain’t any nigga, and I ain’t expect to marry any bitch. You knew about my moms being a crackhead and shit! You know I wanted us to have what Granny and my gramps had.”
I shake my head. Granny still sad over her husband and it’s been years. I could even remember Popeye crying over his mom–first and only time I seen him shed a tear, and the nigga looked like he went through hell and back after the drive by. But only ever cried over his momma. “I tried to be happy, but it was just too much. Soon as you got home from the hospital–never mind Phillip was still waking up in the middle of the night–but I tried. The doctor said I had a problem. I tried to go to counseling! Popeye, you hated me. You will never admit just a lil’ bit of fault. Because you’re the good guy. That’s what everybody knows you as the nigga that set Blu straight. Laced Blu with a ring. Then I went and fucked it all up. Gimme the pic so I can roll. And you will forever be remembered as the nice nigga that tried to save a hoe.”
“Damn,” he says, taking a sip of can of Sprit. “Man, you wasn’t even a fucking hoe back in the day, Blu. You're still my wife.”
“No, I wasn’t… not till the drugs. But true, okay then gimme a pen. I'm sure ol’ girl is somewhere in the bushes outside, waiting with the divorce papers. Gon’ gimme the papers to sign, and we can do a fair trade for my child’s picture. You owe me my baby’s photo!” I scream, and the lunch crowd that is starting to come in, gets interested.
“Blu, stop it. We was just having a conversation.” Popeye shakes his head. He pulls out the photos from his jean jacket pocket. “I’m done with Lauren.”
“Good for you.” My emotions are off. This nigga just made me go there with his perfect self. “I could give a fuck about you, Popeye. I'm not a good mom. Never have been. But lemme say that when I was pregnant, I did everything right. You treated me like a queen. And I had all those daydreams about being the perfect mom, too. Then the drive by happened. So like I said, I ain’t a good fucking mom, ain’t finna be one any time soon. Maybe you still thinking about ya momma since we are in the same situation. She had to love you ‘cus you was her blood. All I did was take a ring and spread my legs for you.”
“Aight, Blu, be hard. You just said you still love me. Now it’s you fucked me for a ring, huh?” Popeye says. He hands me the photo. It's a preschool picture with the blue blotc
hy background and my son’s smile is everything to me. But I gotta stay hard.
Lakitha shakes her head at the booth behind us as he gets up. Soon as Popeye leaves, Lakitha comes to sit next to me. She puts a chubby arm around my shoulder, and I sigh.
“Man, you know Popeye deserves better,” I tell my sister before she can get all Oprah on me. Now, Popeye used to be a beast in the streets, working for my brah. Man, we both were about that grind and worked well together. But he always was and always will be a lover. That ain't a good look for a nigga fucking around with me.
Chapter 42
ROCKWELL
Right in front of Lorenzo’s house, I start to climb into the passenger seat of Lorenzo’s truck, with him holding the door open. Before I can close the door, he blocks my path. I sigh, knowing this nigga has questions, and I don’t have answers. I reach over and kiss him. “Bae, answer the messages, delete the messages. You can toss my phone in the toilet for all I care. Now can we go pick up Junior, from spending the night at his friend’s house?”
Lorenzo leans into the car, he grabs my cheeks and kisses me real hard. Then here we go again. He’s back to wanting answers to bullshit. “Nah, Rocky, I’m not finna deal with that attitude of yours. Roll those pretty eyes again, they gon’ get snatched the fuck out. Has the lame been hitting on you?”
“No for the umpteenth time!” I clap my hands together.
“Why’s the lame blowing up your phone? This muthafucka called you a thousand times. There’s one call from Blu tryna get some fucking clothes or something, then a hundred more calls from your irrelevant ass husband.”
“Bae, none of that matters. I told you I’m never going home and to delete the messages. Oh, so Blu needs a new wardrobe, lets pick her up on the way to get Junior?”
“See, I’m tryna make sure you’re safe, and you wanna talk about some muthafucking clothes? Never mind that right now, Rocky. You can change the fucking subject if you want, but that muthafucka is dead soon as we find him.”
“No, don’t, Renz! Don’t do shit to Raphael,” I snap. I can’t stand my husband, but me lying about Junior being his makes us even. Raphael and I have hurt each other enough, so I don’t need any more bad karma. “He doesn’t mean shit to me, okay? Let's just go get Junior. I don't like to be late.”
“Man, this car doesn’t move till I’m good.”
“Does it matter bae? Didn't I say I'm never going back?” I promise, kissing him soft and shit. “Lets go, Lorenzo. I’m with you now and forever...”
I mean every word of it. All I can hope is this nigga doesn’t keep leaving me or Junior for Colombia. Man, I can’t even imagine that I’m think this but, maybe Lorenzo will take us with him the next time he goes home…
~~~
On the ride back to The H, Junior talks a mile a minute. We hit up the mall to get my son some toys and clothes. While I grab a toothbrush, facial products and the likes. Lorenzo comes over with a granny shirt.
“Boy, please. I like vintage Dior, but that ain't touching my body.”
“Good.” He kisses my ear as we stand in line. “I prefer you butt ass naked.”
This nigga got me all giddy and happy and shit. Now I guess later I'll know the warning signs of him pulling out a wad of cash to pay for everything. Since my son was all too happy to buy the store!
Later that evening me and Elisha sit on Lorenzo’s back patio. Her nephew and Junior are around the side of the house, so she hands me the blunt as we talk about my store.
“Girl, I remember when my momma used to try and pass you the blunt. Yo’ ass used to sneak and pass it right along,” Elisha laughs and take a hit.
When Nacho starts to come outside, I see him standing at the sliding door talking to Lorenzo. I sip on my ice tea, wondering what they are chopping it up about. Lorenzo doesn't look too happy. Then Nacho’s ashy black ass comes and plops down right next to Elisha. Nacho eyes me real good as she talks, with his creepy self. She doesn't seem to notice, since they’re sitting across from me. Chuey comes out with chips and salsa, and Nacho’s beady eyes are all over Elisha as they shoulda been in the first place. Nacho starts tonguing her down as my boo lights up the grill.
“I wanna have a party tomorrow,” I say out of the blue after getting comfortable again.
“Fo’ sho’,” Chuey says, damn near eating up all the salsa he made.
“Nah. In the daytime.” I shake my head at him, knowing he wants to have a party that don’t stop till the break of dawn. “A barbecue. Invite everybody.”
Lorenzo understands even Chuey does too. Trinidad needs to see me as a stable figure. She's just the type of trick to try and sneak into a nigga’s life, pretending like she doesn’t care. She’s just like me. That trick cares about Lorenzo! So she'll see me tomorrow. I might even tell Lorenzo that Junior is his son then. It’s better than waiting for those DNA lab results to come back. Hmmm, I go back into the house.
“Rocky, are you going to make these margarita’s?” Elisha asks, starting for the kitchen.
“Nah, I got a job to do.” Lemme make this place look like a home. That will seal the deal.
“Aye bae, let's go shopping,” I say to Lorenzo.
My nigga is cool with it until I mention a home store he looks scared. I'm buying flowers, paint maybe even pink paint. My design senses begin to tingle.
Chapter 43
TRINIDAD
I watched them running from store to store. I’m wondering if Rockwell is finna redo her boujie ass store, but she’s with my man. As I watch them picking paints, I text him.
Standing at checkout Lorenzo pulls his phone out. I’m hidden behind the racks of knickknacks and candy people buy last minute as I hear it rings. This muthafucka has the nerve to look at it, and put it right back in his pocket. Then they’re heading to stores with plants and shit. So I know this isn’t just for her store that was burnt down. This bitch is redesigning a home! So I call him.
Lorenzo presses the ignore button. I’m less than two feet away, hiding behind mini palm trees, watching his sneaky ass.
So he ain't gon’ come see me?
Lemme check on that pretty ass bitch, Blu. Yeah…
I’ve had enough of this. I won’t even believe this bitch got my man about to remodel his crib! So I do the next best thing. Go to his momma house. I brought him here, by letting word get out on the street where Blu was. Shit, I’ve kept tabs on that bitch the entire time. Now that she’s here and my man is here, he needs to be with me!
~~~
Soon as I get off my Harley, and strut up to the house. I take one last puff of my cigarette and ring the doorbell.
“Trinidad,” Rita rolls her eyes. “My son isn't here. And I distinctively made it clear that you aren't welcome around my house.”
“Is Blu here?”
“No. Little girl, look me dead in the eye. Please understand you aren't welcome here,” she says in Spanish. “I can't wait till Lorenzo is through with you for good.”
“Rita. All I've ever done is be nice to you. We are Columbiana’s. Have some respect for ya own.”
“Yeah, you know how us Columbianas do then?” She busts up laughing. “Little girl step off before I get my Mossberg shotgun. Don’t believe the façade, mama knows how to handle that. You are on personal property and I have no problem putting you down.”
“Adios Mio!” I shout. Nah, I ain’t gon’ kill Lorenzo’ mother even though she deserves it. Blu’s gon’ cum for me, then she gon’ OD for me too! Then I’ll light a match to her beautiful little body and watch the colorful flames. With a smile, I turn to walk away thinking as soon as I get to her…
Chapter 44
BLU
After getting Phillip’s photo, I put it on the dresser mirror. Looking at how smart and handsome he is, got me feeling sentimental, so I dig into the closet for my collage boards. It has photos of me and Popeye when we finally got together right out of high school. Truth was, I never thought I needed a nigga. Then I saw how good he was with Lor
enzo and Tee Tee. My brah didn’t want me on the come up while working Hoover for our Tio Santi. So, I started to give Popeye some play. Man, did I fall.
Lakitha’s words keep coming to mind. If I wanna be happy, that gotta come from me and not being forced or anything else. Yeah, she said something like that–she had a better way with words too.
So, I take the photos of me and my true love off slowly, careful not to tear the tape on the back. When I got a stack of all those good times, I pull out an old Jordan box from under my bed. Shake out the stale weed seeds, and then put all those photos in there except one of Popeye. I'm putting that beside my baby’s picture when I hear arguing at the front door. Damn, soon as they brought me home, I would always be listening out, hoping somebody would come by and save me from these crazy ass sisters and mom of mine.
“Trinidad?” Did I just hear her voice? Soon as I step out Moms is already there, hand on hip and watching Trinidad walk away.
“Moms, whatchu doin?” I ask, as Trinidad turns around with a smile on her face.
“If you go out with this whore, don't expect to come home.” Rita walks away with that.
“Hi...” I’m not sure what to say to Trinidad. I was grateful the first time she gave me that weed laced with whatever, it was like taking those postpartum pills that doctor had given me for depression and without the side effects. But we don’t really speak often so what she wants I don’t know.
“Hey, Blu,” she hugs me before I can even step back, never have been one of those touchy feely persons.
“I just want to check on you. Your mom means well, but I know she can come off strong. We Columbianas always take the hard road, emotions to the max.” She pats me and it got me uncomfortable. It’s almost like Rockwell and her giddy self, but I had heard Trinidad was a lezbo back in the day. So, I don’t want to get it twisted, especially with Lorenzo not really feeling her.
Loving a Colombian Cartel Thug Page 16