by M. J. Haag
I trembled and tried not to think. May told me once that she thought of other things. It made what Oscar’s men did to her pass more quickly.
Ghua’s exhale tickled my ear, and his hand stroked down my arm.
“Sleep, Eden. You can be twelve for as long as you want.”
The tears I’d been struggling to hold back began to fall.
Thirteen
As sobs shook my shoulders, Ghua held me close and continued to stroke my hair. He also started talking.
“I have only been on the surface a short time, but I have learned much. Not just about the beauty up here but about my past, too. A past I don’t remember.
“My brothers and I once belonged to a race tied to the land. We had pale skin, lighter than yours, and loved the sun as much as you do. We had homes and families, and we were happy. But, my people had to leave. The trees, our life source and connection to the land, were dying. We set out in groups, all in search of a new life source. In a new land, my brothers and I found the crystals in caverns below the surface.
“The crystals fed our power to nurture the plants and trees. We helped things grow and flourish in those caverns. However, not all of our people agreed that the energy of the crystals was natural. Divided because of fear, my people trapped my brothers and me underground where we have lived a never-ending life.
“It wasn’t until Mya touched the source crystal that we discovered all of this and the reason for the hellhounds. Our people placed a curse on us and the creatures with us. The hellhounds are here because of our past actions. Mya helped us understand it’s our responsibility to aid the humans who have survived.
“That is all I am doing, Eden. I am helping you survive. I swear I will not hurt you. Please, do not cry. Each tear is leaving a scar on my heart.”
Whether I wanted to admit it or not, I’d been standing on the edge of trusting Ghua for a while. And, his pleading tone and soft words made it impossible not to fall. Everything he’d said before he knew my age, I’d dismissed as a lie. But now, I knew better. He hadn’t lied. Not once. Ghua was different in so many ways from us humans. Including, it seemed, his capacity for kindness.
As I embraced that fragile feeling of trust, I struggled against the ache in my chest and realized that I wasn’t alone anymore. I didn’t have to keep running. I didn’t need to fight against everything by myself. The relief that came with those realizations only made me shake more.
I turned in his arms and met his gaze. He reached up and wiped my tears away, his eyes reflecting the sorrow and misery I’d felt moments ago.
“I’m sorry I kept trying to run,” I said.
“Do not apologize. You did nothing wrong. I never should have told you that I hoped you would consider me as something more than what I am.”
I frowned.
“I don’t know what you mean. What are you?”
“A stranger in your world.”
I studied his yellow-green eyes for a long moment. They no longer seemed so foreign. His proud brow and stubborn chin looked just as human as any other man’s. In that moment, I realized I’d stopped seeing the color of his skin, too. He was just Ghua, the man who continued to be so patient with me.
“You’re not strange anymore. At least, not to me. How did you want me to see you?”
“As a man you might someday love.”
That wasn’t at all what I’d gotten out of anything he’d said to me before now.
“So you’re not taking me back to your home so that you or someone else can rape me?”
He growled low.
“No one will touch your pussy without your permission.”
I choked a little, hearing him say it so bluntly, and looked down at his bare chest for a moment.
“Not even you?” I asked.
“Not even me, Eden.” His thumb gently stroked over my cheek. “But thank you for letting me see it in the bathroom. It is very pretty.”
With those words, I realized how ridiculously naïve Ghua was, and how grossly I’d misunderstood him and his intentions in so many ways.
Looking up, I lightly kissed his cheek.
“Thank you for keeping me safe. Even from myself.”
He grunted.
“Go to sleep, Eden.”
I closed my eyes and let myself relax.
* * * *
Sweat coated my skin, and I kicked off the stifling hot blankets. Cool air swept over my legs, and my sigh of relief changed to a jaw-cracking yawn.
The fingers stroking my stomach stilled, and Ghua moved beside me, his weight shifting from the mattress like he was sitting up. I blinked at the light filling the room and stretched languidly while my eyes focused.
Ghua made a pained sound, and I heard him inhale deeply.
The mattress between my legs dipped, and several things clicked into place at once. My shirt had ridden up to my bellybutton. I had no underwear on. Kicking off the covers had left me exposed to Ghua’s very focused and very curious gaze.
He was leaned over me, studying my lady bits from only inches away.
I made a panicked sound and scrambled off the bed so the shirt fell back into place. It didn’t seem to matter. His eyes remained fixed on the apex of my legs as if he could see right through the material.
“You said you wouldn’t touch me,” I said, my voice shaking.
He looked up at me.
“I didn’t. I wanted to, but I didn’t. I only looked. I’ve wanted to see a real pussy for a long time. Yours is so pretty.”
His words were so emphatically sincere I didn’t know what to think. A flush crept into my cheeks as he continued to meet my gaze.
“Well, you shouldn’t look at me like you did, either.”
“I’m sorry, Eden. I didn’t know. Is it okay to smell your pussy? It smells so good.”
“No. No smelling either.”
His shoulders sagged as he nodded, and I almost grinned at the sheer disappointment on his face.
“Nancy is awake. I will help her downstairs,” he said, standing.
The massive erection tenting the front of his pants made my mouth pop open. If I’d thought him huge before, I didn’t know how to classify him now.
He noticed the direction of my gaze.
“You can look at me,” he said, reaching for his waistband. “I don’t mind.”
“No, no!” I said quickly, waving my hands and averting my eyes. “That’s okay. It wouldn’t be appropriate for me to look.”
“Why not?”
I scrambled to think of a reason he would believe.
“Because Nancy’s awake and looking at each other is the kind of thing that couples do—”
His face instantly lit with hope, and I quickly started over to clarify we weren’t a couple.
“I mean it’s something that only couples should do together. And only when they are alone. It’s private.”
“Oh. Okay.”
He gave me one last look filled with so much yearning my heart started to beat faster. Then, he left the room to help Nancy downstairs.
I collapsed on the bed and struggled to let my mind catch up with what had just happened. Ghua had seen under my hood. He could have tried to force things. But he hadn’t. Instead, I’d told him no, and he’d walked away. And, not angrily. Just a little disappointed. Okay, maybe a lot disappointed.
A slow smile spread on my face. He’d kept his word. All of it. Why did that make me want to run after him and hug him?
My smile withered just as quickly as it had appeared when I realized how underdressed I still was.
I left the room and jogged downstairs, hoping to find out what he’d done with my clothes from yesterday. Although some of them were covered in infected blood, I’d need to use what I could. I didn’t want to go walking around in just a t-shirt, no matter how awesome it felt.
However, when I reached the first floor, I couldn’t find Ghua. The kitchen was empty, and when I knocked on the bathroom door, Nancy said she was in there by herse
lf.
“Where’d he go?” I asked.
“Dunno. He asked if I needed help. I said I didn’t, and he closed the door. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like a few minutes to myself.”
The words didn’t offend me. Most of what she’d said had sounded strained like I’d interrupted her crying.
“If you need help, let me know,” I said.
“Thanks.”
I left her and checked the rest of the lower level. Passing the living room window, I caught sight of Ghua standing in front of the truck. Something dark was smeared across the hood, ending next to a chunk of metal. Ghua circled around the truck, looked in the bed, then scanned the rest of the yard. I did the same.
Nancy’s wheelchair slowly rolled out of the barn’s gaping door. Ghua took a step in that direction, and I pounded on the window.
When he looked back at me, I shook my head.
“It’s a trap,” I said to myself, knowing he couldn’t hear. “Don’t go in there. Come back inside by us.”
His lips parted, and he smiled at me sweetly.
“I will be fine, my Eden,” he called.
While he still looked at me, the door behind him swung open. A herd of infected swarmed out of the barn, running at Ghua, who was waving farewell at me. My heart stuttered.
Not him. Not now.
“No!” I yelled. “Behind you!”
I slapped my hand against the window and stared in horror as the first infected reached him. She bit into his exposed shoulder.
Ghua’s smile changed to a roar. He reached back and ripped her head off. And that was the last thing I saw before Ghua was lost under an avalanche of infected.
Spinning away from the window, I raced to the kitchen. I needed to get out there to help him. My eyes swept over the knives on the counter before I stopped myself. What had I told Nancy? Stop thinking like a mom, and think like a survivor. I needed to think. What would happen if I ran out there now? I had no weapon. No protective layers to deflect a bite.
Swearing, I turned back toward the living room and stopped at the sight of Nancy dragging herself down the hall.
“What’s happening?” she asked.
“Ghua’s outside,” I said. “There’s infected all over in the yard.”
She paled.
“Get me a knife.”
She was right. The infected would try to get in the house, next. I grabbed us both a weapon, quickly gave her one, then went back to the window.
Ghua, please be dead so I don’t have to kill you, I thought to myself.
However, the sight outside the window stopped all thought while I stood there in shock.
“What do you see?” Nancy asked after several moments of my silence.
“Bodies. A lot of headless bodies.” There had to be at least twenty of them. They spilled over the barren yard like a bunch of toppled dolls. I scanned each one for a hint of grey skin.
“I don’t see Ghua.” My heart ached with what that might mean.
“Are they still fighting?” she asked.
“No. There aren’t any infected moving out there.”
We both heard the door in the kitchen open. Nancy and I shared a look. She pulled her legs under her and leaned back against a chair, her knife up and ready. We both watched the doorway and listened to the steps that rasped across the kitchen floor.
Covered head to toe in blood, Ghua stepped into the opening. His eyes met mine. They weren’t cloudy. Yet. Bites covered his arms and shoulders. There were even a few on his ribs.
Nancy swore.
“We need to get to the truck before he turns,” she said.
Ghua’s gaze shifted to her.
“Infected bites don’t make me sick. And, the truck will do you no good. They removed pieces of it. But, your chair still rolls well.”
Hope flooded me at the first words he’d spoken.
“Are you sure you can’t get sick?” I asked.
“Everyone gets sick,” Nancy said harshly. “If the truck doesn’t work, we’re fucked.” She tossed her knife aside as tears started rolling down her cheeks.
I ignored her and continued to wait for Ghua’s answer.
His gaze met mine and softened.
“I will not become stupid and want to bite you. I will not hurt you, Eden. Ever.”
He hadn’t lied to me yet. And, I didn’t see why he would start now.
With a shout of relief, I ran to him, but he stopped me with a raised hand.
“No, Eden. I cannot touch you like this.”
I nodded and stepped back.
“All the infected are dead. I checked around the barn too, to be sure. We’re safe for now but should leave soon. I will wash this off. The door will stay open. Call me if you see something.”
I cringed as he turned to leave. Bites covered his back as well. I remembered what he’d told me about getting shot. That it hurt. And, I bet all those bites hurt a lot, too.
While he started the shower, I ran upstairs to get our bag and brought it to the bathroom. His bloody pants lay on the floor, and the curtain was already closed around him.
“I brought the bag with your clothes.”
“Thank you.”
Pink slashed the yellowed curtain as he washed.
“Are the bites still bleeding?” I asked.
“Yes. It will take a while for them to heal.”
I opened the old mirror cabinet above the sink and grabbed the pain relievers and bandages. There were plenty of the former and not enough of the latter.
The water turned off, and I quickly grabbed a towel to thrust in his direction as the curtain slid open.
“Put that around your waist,” I said, keeping my gaze averted until he was covered.
Using another towel, I gently began dabbing the bites. The ones that had already stopped bleeding got a bit of peroxide and some ointment. The ones that still bled I put some pressure on until they stopped. The bites on his back were the deepest, and I cringed as I used the bandages on those. When I finished, I moved in front of him and looked at his neck.
Without me asking, he sat on the toilet seat so I could see better. Standing between his legs, I gently cleaned each of the bites ringing his throat as well.
“I like when you touch me,” Ghua said.
I looked up and met his steady gaze.
“Okay, but how about next time you just ask me to touch you instead of nearly dying.” Although I meant it as a joke, it came out a bit naggy. So, I gentled my tone. “You scared me, Ghua. Don’t ever do that again.”
“I am sorry, my Eden.”
He reached up and smoothed back my errant hair.
“I did not mean to scare you, only to keep you safe.”
My heart ached at his words and what I was feeling. He’d been right. My fear had clouded my thinking for so long. It wasn’t completely gone, but Ghua’s presence was helping me think and see more clearly.
Almost losing him had scared the hell out of me. And, it had also made me realize something very important. I liked him. A lot.
The idea of caring about anyone worried me. I’d be vulnerable and more likely to make stupid mistakes. Like Nancy wanting to charge after her kids without more help. That’s what caring did. That’s what…love did. That’s what I’d been considering doing when I’d grabbed the knives. I felt a jolt of surprise at the direction of my thoughts. Did I really like him that much?
We continued to look at each other as I sorted through the jumble of my thoughts and came to a conclusion. I needed to know just how far my like for Ghua extended. I needed to know if what I felt was just gratitude for keeping me alive or if it was something more.
My gaze dipped to his lips, and my stomach gave a flutter of excitement. An alarming reaction.
Not stopping to consider the consequences, I leaned in to press my lips to his. A tingle of warmth spread through me and intensified as he groaned then growled.
Ghua’s hands lifted to cup the back of my head. His mouth brushed lightly
over mine a moment before his tongue swept across my lips. I gasped and gripped his arms. He made another low sound and repeated the teasing lick.
Heart pounding, I let him in. The first touch of his tongue to mine fanned the flames spreading within me and made my knees weak. I slid my hands up to his shoulders for support. He growled again and pulled me into his lap without breaking contact.
His heat surrounded me. His fingers trailed down my arm then back up to touch my jaw.
His gentle exploration made me forget that the kiss was supposed to be a test. Lost in the feel and taste of him, I let him take over. His tongue brushed against mine again and again as his hand continued to move restlessly, smoothing over my shoulder and down my arm once more. His fingers laced mine, and he brought my hand to his cheek, showing just how much he wanted me to continue touching him.
I explored the hard planes of his jaw, sinking deeper into the kiss. Needing more of him.
His hands slid down my arms and his fingers brushed my ribs. My breast ached with that simple caress.
I pulled away, gasping for air and shaking with the need for more.
He placed tiny kisses on the corner of my mouth and down my throat. But he didn’t go any further. He didn’t touch me where my heart thundered under my breast.
He pulled away to look at me, and I stared up, seeing the pale skin of my hand against his dark face. It didn’t look weird.
I feathered my trembling fingers over his brow and down his strong, familiar nose.
“Does this mean you will someday be able to love me?” he asked me softly.
Someday? I feared I didn’t have that long to wait.
“Maybe.”
He smiled widely, showing all his pointed teeth.
I couldn’t grin at all. With that one kiss, I already knew the answer.
Fourteen
I stood and tried to ignore the way his hands dragged over my arms as he reluctantly released me.
“I need my clothes,” I said, my throat feeling a bit tight. “The ones you took yesterday.”
He sighed.
“The coat is full of infected blood. I threw it out. The rest is on the kitchen chair by the door.”