“I always wanted a brother. It’s crazy to think that I have at least two. I know you’re mostly here for Ricky, but do you think you could spend time getting to know your sister, too?”
The vulnerability in her voice made his heart ache. Not just because of how she was opening herself up to him, but because he felt the same way about having a sister. The trouble was, as close as Rachel was to Janie, what would Rachel do when he realized exactly why Alexander was here? The two women shared everything, and when Janie was evacuated, Rachel had opened up her home on the ranch to her. Even though the cabin Rachel shared with her husband and daughter was small, they’d welcomed Janie and Sam into it.
“That would be nice,” Alexander said. “I know we have a long way to go. Taking care of the community after the fire is the most pressing issue right now. But I’ll always be available to talk, if you want to.”
Maybe someday, after Rachel found out the truth and hated him for a while, she would look back on this conversation and understand that he truly did mean it when he said he’d like to get to know her.
He’d have liked to say more, to give her something more reassuring, but the kids ran back to them, Janie in tow.
“I can’t believe the dump truck survived the fire,” Janie said.
“We prayed for it,” Sam said, squaring his shoulders.
Katie mimicked his actions. “Yes we did. Now we have to go find Ryan to tell him about our dump truck.”
The kids ran off to find their friend, Rachel following behind.
When they were alone, Janie smiled at him. “Thanks for what you said to Sam. One of the firefighters told him that the truck was junk he should throw out, and I know it looks rough, but having the truck means a lot to Sam. You made him feel good about it.”
What was he supposed to say? That was the trouble with being here. Everyone kept complimenting him and telling him all these nice things, but he was just doing what he was supposed to do. People never thanked him like this at work. His coworkers hadn’t hugged him when he’d realized they’d forgotten the campaign buttons for the fall parade and he’d gone out of his way to deliver them. Sure, it had been a hassle, but you did the right thing, even if it was a pain.
He tried to respond, but as soon as he opened his mouth, Janie shook her head at him. “No. Everyone gets on me about not being able to accept compliments, and I didn’t understand it at first, but seeing you in action, I do. Stop telling people that what you’re doing is nothing. Because to them, it’s everything.”
She looked at the ground and her voice softened. “It’s not nothing.”
Then she returned her gaze to him. “There aren’t many men out there like you, and you need to know that what you did was special. To them, and to me.”
It wasn’t supposed to feel like this. Her words told him that he’d earned her trust. Which meant he should be able to talk to her about his reason for being here. But with the shy look in her eyes and the vulnerability in her spirit, he couldn’t bring himself to do so.
She shifted her pose slightly and said, “Which is why I want to thank you for what you did in the garden. I don’t do that with just anyone. But you’re special. And you made me feel safe.”
The look on her face told him that if he reached out and hugged her right now, she would fall into his arms and let him hold her, just like he had earlier in the garden. He was so close to accomplishing everything he wanted. And clearly, from the way the senator talked, this needed to be done sooner rather than later.
How could he hurt her?
He took a step back, then said, “I’m glad I could be there for you. I’ll try to do better at accepting people’s thanks and praise.”
The light in Janie’s eyes was almost too much for Alexander to take. He was trying to do the right thing, say the right thing, but her expression only made him feel even more uncomfortable.
“I can’t be who you want me to be,” he said. “Don’t put me on any pedestals, because I guarantee you, I will fall.”
His warning didn’t dim the light in her eyes, and he hated himself for it. Why couldn’t he say the right thing? He just needed her to understand that he wasn’t who she thought he was. Not even close. She was building up this expectation of him that he could never meet. And he didn’t know how to accomplish his objective while keeping both of their hearts safe.
Chapter Six
Though Janie would have liked to have talked more with Alexander, duty called. Now that the church had been cleared to allow people back in, it seemed like the whole town was filtering in, having checked their homes and seen the devastation. They needed a place to process everything.
The insurance adjusters had been out and were all crunching the numbers, trying to do the best they could. Though families would be getting checks to recover the lost possessions, other things had been lost that couldn’t be so easily replaced.
Janie looked out across the church playground to the blackened remains of their town. People’s homes were there, but also their businesses, their livelihood. Just a couple blocks away, she could see the remains of what used to be the elementary school.
To think that just a few days ago, she’d been upset at the loss of her part-time job at the community center. Now, her full-time one at the elementary school was also gone. It would take months, possibly even years, to rebuild all that had been lost. Half of the main business district was gutted. It was hard enough here, trying to stay in business, but with half of the people already struggling to keep their businesses afloat, what incentive did they have to rebuild?
Wiping the sweat off her brow, Janie paused at the end of the row of pews she’d been washing. Alexander had helped her carry them outside to clean. It seemed like she’d been scrubbing for hours, and none of it made a difference. She stood and stretched her back, and as she did so, Roger Huddleston, her next-door neighbor, approached.
“Janie. I’m so sorry. I grabbed a few things from your house and they’re in my car, but I’m afraid I wasn’t thinking very clearly, so I don’t know if any of it will be of use to you.”
He held up a vacuum. “I just bought this for Shelley’s birthday last week. We don’t have a house to vacuum anymore. Can the church use it?”
He laughed ruefully as he shook his head. “Why did I grab that vacuum? Sure, it had made Shelley so happy when I got it for her. But I wish I’d found a way to take her grandmother’s china.”
Janie stepped forward and hugged Roger. “We don’t always think clearly in an emergency. Even though you didn’t take Shelley’s most prized possession, you did remember something she loved, and you wanted to do something nice for her.”
He returned the hug, then turned to the door his wife was striding through.
“You tell her that.”
Janie stepped forward and hugged her neighbor. “Shelley. I’m so glad to see you. Where are you guys staying?”
Shelley shrugged. “We threw everything we could into the camper, and we have it parked at a friend’s house.”
Then she looked over at the vacuum Roger was holding. “That stupid thing. Can you believe that’s what he thought to pull out of the house?”
Janie shrugged. “His heart was in the right place. He was just telling me how it was a gift you’d really wanted, and it had made you happy. You guys lost a lot of precious things. But I hope you remember just how much Roger loves you, and that when he grabbed the vacuum, it was because of that love.”
Shelley smiled, then looked over at her husband. “It’s true. I lost a lot of things in the fire, but I didn’t lose the most important one.”
Roger blushed, and it was sweet to see that a couple that had been together as long as Roger and Shelley could still share a moment like this. It reminded her a lot of her parents, and how Janie had wished she would find a love like that of her own.
Most of the time, she accepted
it wasn’t meant to be. But sometimes...
A noise on the other side of the church drew her attention. She turned to see Alexander helping an older lady with a load of boxes.
He was a good man, even though he seemed to protest the idea every time she brought it up. They hadn’t had a lot of time to talk, like about what his plans were, how long he was saying and if he would be back.
She didn’t blame him if he never came back. Imagine coming to meet your family, only to be thrust into a natural disaster. She’d heard him brush Rachel off when she’d complimented him for staying, just like he did whenever Janie made a big deal of something he’d done. It was amazing how much credit Alexander deserved, yet how little he accepted. He was such a good man. Janie wished that when she was younger, she’d pursued men because of their character, not because of the giddy feeling they put in her stomach. Though if she were honest, she would have to say that Alexander did both.
“That grandson of Ricky’s is a fine young man,” Shelley said. “The Ruiz genes run strong. I’ve never seen a man more eager to help others than Ricky. His grandson seems to be the same. What a blessing for him to come now when we need him most. Ricky must be so grateful to have him.”
Janie nodded. “I’m grateful, too. He’s been a big help around the church. He’s done everything without complaint or even seeming weary. It’s been so hard without my mom here, but Alexander has stepped up to help with so much of the work that the burden doesn’t feel as heavy as it would otherwise.”
Shelley gave her another hug. “So much loss in such a short time for your family. Bette was a dear friend, and she was very proud of you. I’m sure she would be proud of the work you’re doing here.”
Janie returned the hug and smiled at Shelley when she pulled away. “Thank you. It means a lot to hear that from one of her close friends. Your bunco group meant the world to her, and I’m so grateful for all your support.”
The smile Shelley gave her was an affirmation that Janie needed to do a better job of accepting praise and comfort from others. And as she sent a quiet prayer, thanking God for His patience in teaching her this lesson, she felt a bit of the grief of losing her mother lift from her heart.
Shelley patted Janie’s back then gestured around the churchyard. “This is a fine mess. I know the church usually hosts a Thanksgiving dinner for those who don’t have a place to go, but with everything in disarray and needing cleaning, and half the town homeless, have you thought about what you’re going to do? I’d offer my place, but—” Shelley gestured at the rubble in the area that was once their homes.
Janie hadn’t even thought that far ahead. Sure, it was only a couple weeks away, but nothing about the season felt like Thanksgiving. Had the fire never happened, had her mother not died, the church would have been awash with harvest decorations and they would be planning the menu for their annual celebration.
Now, holding the event seemed nearly impossible.
“To be honest, I didn’t think about it until now,” Janie said. “I’m not even sure where to begin. Mom had a binder where she kept notes on all the church events and things she did. But I was reading it in bed the night before her funeral, trying to make sure I had every detail right, so I’m sure it’s lost to us now.”
Every single person who’d come to the church today had mourned the loss of a special possession. Each time, Janie thanked God that the things that had meant the most to her were all accounted for. But remembering the binder, and the fact that she hadn’t put it on the list for people to get from her house, made her realize that she, too, had lost something irreplaceable.
Everything else she’d lost had been just stuff, covered by renter’s insurance. The deputy watching her house during the funeral had been able to get the small safe with her important documents as well as the plastic tub with memorabilia, like Sam’s baby book. She’d never imagined she’d ever have to use the fire plan she’d been taught at a fire safety meeting, but now she was glad she’d been prepared.
Fighting the tears threatening to overcome her, Janie looked back in the direction where she’d last seen Alexander. She knew that if she started crying now, Shelley would comfort her. And as much as she loved Shelley, it wasn’t what Janie wanted.
Thankfully, Shelley seemed to sense that as she patted Janie kindly on the arm. “I’m so sorry. Many of us in the bunco group help your mother with the Thanksgiving dinner as well as other church activities. I’ll talk to them and see what they remember. You don’t have to do this alone. Your mother didn’t.”
For the first time, Janie realized that as much as she had always admired her mother’s strength and fortitude, Shelley was right. She hadn’t done this alone. How many times had Janie walked into the house to see her mother and her friends making decorations or preparing food for a church event? The bunco group had been the ones to throw Janie a baby shower and make sure that Sam had everything he needed. Even when her mother got sick, Shelley and her crew took turns relieving Janie and her father and spending time with her mother.
Not only had Janie’s mother not been alone, Janie hadn’t either.
She started to open her mouth to express her gratitude to Shelley, but Ricky approached.
“I heard you guys were parking your trailer at the O’Learys’. If you ever want more space, we can make room for you at the ranch,” Ricky said.
“Thank you,” Shelley said. “We’re doing just fine for now, but you can check with Roger just in case.”
As Ricky nodded, an idea came to Janie. “I hate to impose on you further, even though I know you say that helping the community isn’t an imposition, but talking to Shelley made me realize that our town is in more need than ever for our annual Thanksgiving dinner.”
Gesturing at the church, Janie continued, “As much as I would love to have it here, I don’t think it will be ready in time. Do you have space at the ranch?”
A wide grin filled Ricky’s face. “Of course. You know that your mother started that tradition with my Rosie, right? Thanksgiving was Rosie’s favorite holiday, and she used to love planning the church celebration with Bette.”
“That’s right,” Shelley said. “It’s the whole reason Bette always insisted on making her special brownies for Thanksgiving. They were Rosie’s favorite.”
Alexander joined them as well. “Is everything all right, Janie? I saw you looking over at me a couple of times like you needed something.”
One more thing to like about Alexander. He always seemed so in tune with her and her needs. Though he kept doing his best to warn her off, moments like these made her like him even more.
“Yes,” she said. “We were talking about Thanksgiving, and the fact that the church always has a celebration. We can’t have it here this year, and my mother’s binder with all the information on what she does to organize it is lost in the fire, but Ricky has offered to host, and Shelley said that she and the bunco group would gather the information they remember because they helped my mother with all the events.”
Alexander looked confused. “That’s great. But what do you need me for?”
“To give her a hand, of course,” Ricky said. “You two make a great team, and everyone has been commenting on what a bang-up job you do together.”
She knew that look in Ricky’s eyes. He thought he was playing matchmaker. Usually at this point, Janie would have groaned and commented on how she didn’t need Ricky interfering in her life. But as she stole another glance at Alexander, she had to admit she wouldn’t mind working closely with him and getting to know him better.
“It’s settled, then,” Shelley said. “We’ll have the annual Thanksgiving celebration at the ranch. Me and the gals will be available to help you guys in any way we can. I’ll start talking to people to get an idea of how many will come. Last year we had about 125, which is pretty normal. But with the fire, I’m not sure.”
They made plan
s to get together later in the week at Ricky’s to figure out what needed to be done. And even though Janie had been feeling good about being useful in cleaning up the church, having a more concrete, meaningful goal for the short term energized her in a way that cleaning the pews hadn’t.
Ricky and Shelley wandered off to talk to Roger, but Alexander hung back.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked. “You looked kind of upset when you were talking to Shelley.”
Most people didn’t notice things like that about her. No one saw that when she said she was fine, she sometimes wasn’t. Well, okay, that wasn’t entirely true. Rachel often called her out on it, as did her friends at Three Sisters Ranch.
But men never noticed.
Which was why she couldn’t give her standard answer to Alexander.
“Shelley was one of my mom’s best friends.” Janie explained about the binder, as well as the friendship of the ladies in the bunco group, and Alexander listened, nodding and murmuring in the appropriate places.
And she found it very comforting to pour her heart out to this man and not feel like she was imposing on him. Very comforting indeed.
* * *
Alexander couldn’t wrap his head around the way this community was coming together after the fire. They’d spent the day of the fire with rescue efforts, then getting people settled in temporary places to stay. And now, everyone was working together to help the community start over and rebuild.
But as he looked at the people in the churchyard, checking in with one another and sharing their stories of what did and didn’t survive the fire, he couldn’t help wondering why the media wasn’t giving this more attention. Why people like the senator weren’t here to survey the damage for themselves. When he’d spoken with him earlier, the man had dismissed Alexander’s comments about the devastation like he was talking about a fly in the room.
When it was Alexander’s turn to run for office, he wouldn’t forget about the people of Columbine Springs.
His True Purpose Page 7