by DJ Stone
Chapter Eighteen
Tracey’s words were tucked away, focusing instead on managing the enormous roast. Surprisingly the recipe seemed fairly easy to follow, and the smell filling the house is savory and intoxicating. I set the table and put the finishing touches on the rest of the meal; I feel accomplished.
Pierce steps through the front door, and I’m hanging on the edge of my seat wondering what his reaction to my successful effort will be.
“Jenny, it smells amazing in here, and the table looks beautiful. I knew you could do it.” He hugs and kisses me. It’s not our usual kiss, there is more passion in it, an energy that hadn’t been there this morning when we kissed goodbye. My mounting sexual desires start to spill over, and he is clearly matching my cravings.
Grinding my body against his, I moan as his hands move down my back and grab my ass. His movements are deliberate and powerful, which is exactly what I’ve been waiting for. Running my hand through his hair, I tug some and feel his kiss turn more frantic. I suck his lower lip between my teeth and gently nibble. I’m not sure what changed, but I’m welcoming it with open arms or more like open legs.
The alarm on the stove starts to chirp, and I groan at the horrible timing and try to ignore that my roast is ready to be taken out of the oven. “You should get that,” Pierce whispers into my lips, though we don’t break our bodies apart.
“I don’t want to stop. I’m so ready for this, Pierce. I need this so badly.” I pull in a deep breath and push my breasts against his firm chest, brushing my hard and excited nipples against him.
“It’s impossible to keep saying no to you.” He grabs my ass in a fiercer grip, and I can feel his hard cock grinding against me. That rules out Tracey’s fear of an equipment issue. Everything seems to be the right size and working appropriately.
“So don’t say no. Say yes. I feel great. I’m doing really well and moving on. I think now’s the right time. My mom won’t be here for another hour. Please Pierce.” I want to use the words fuck me. I want to talk to him as I did to Harrison. I want to be able to tell him where to touch me, how to touch me, and I want him to do it now. I want to demand it, but I don’t think any of that would help. It would do the exact opposite with Pierce. Instead I look at him with wide and needy doe eyes and plead with him to finally give me what I’ve been waiting for. If part of his plan is to make me as horny as I’ve ever been by pressing his cock up against me until I beg, then he’s gotten what he wants.
“When we do, Jenny, I’m going to want more than an hour. Plus I’ve got some big news for you tonight. You’re going to be so excited.”
“I’m already pretty excited,” I purr, pressing even harder against him, hoping he’ll play along.
“Trust me. This is going to be big. It’s exactly what we need. Our time is coming. When we finally do this it’s going to be incredible, and it’s going to be because we’re both exactly where we want to be.”
He really doesn’t get it. Where I want to be right now is riding him like a bucking bronco until I’m blind from a throbbing orgasm. There is no news he can give me that’s going to quench my thirst right now.
“Don’t look so sad. I promise you, our time’s coming. I love the time we’ve had over the last couple weeks. I feel like I really know you, and I’m watching you get strong again. But don’t think for a second it’s easy to keep my hands off you. Just think about this, when I finally do have you, the anticipation will make everything all the more exciting.”
“You’re right,” I concede as his body pulls away from mine. “We’re certainly building up for the moment.”
“You go get your dinner out of the oven, and I’m going to shower and change. I promise tonight you’ll be over the moon when you hear what I have to tell you.”
He disappears into his bedroom, and I move toward the kitchen to turn off that miserable cock-block of a timer. The pot roast looks beautiful as I pull it out of the oven, but it’s not anything compared to what I wanted to be pulling out of Pierce’s pants. What would happen if I followed him into the shower, shed all my clothes, and stepped in with him? If I dropped to my knees and took his cock into my mouth would he still tell me no? Could he really turn down the sensation of my tongue swirling over the tip of his hard shaft? I want to know, but could I deal with it if he actually did kick me out of the shower?
The only place I can take out my frustration is in the kitchen. I grab the potato masher and pummel it against the bottom of the pan, starting to feel a little better. Pouring in the correct amount of milk and butter, I jump when I hear a knock at the door. My mother and Alex aren’t due for another forty-five minutes, but her voice calling happily through the front door tells me I should have known better.
“Sorry, I couldn’t help it,” she apologizes and flings her arms wide open for a hug, nearly knocking something off the wall with the wine bottle in her hand. “I had to see it with my own eyes. My baby is cooking and hosting. I never thought I’d see the day.”
“Me either. But don’t get too excited yet. You haven’t tasted the food. It may be a bust.”
“It’s just nice to see you trying.” Turning toward Alex, my mother mock whispers over her shoulder, “If you knew how many years I tried to chase this girl down and teach her to cook. Wasn’t I right though? I preached forever that you’ll never land a good man if you don’t start acting like a good woman. Now look at you, you’re finally on the right track.”
I’m still holding the potato masher in my hand and considering whether or not to turn it into a mom masher. She’s saying what I don’t need to hear right now. I’ve been convincing myself since the day I arrived at Pierce’s place that everything I was doing had nothing to do with pleasing anyone else. Not my mother. Not Pierce. Becoming more domestic and less career-driven is a conscious choice I’m making because it is where I need to be in my life right now. But the way my mother is spinning things it sounds more like I’ve finally woken up and decided to do things her way.
“Let me give you a hand in the kitchen, dear,” my mother sings as she skips away, leaving me standing with Alex.
“I always admired a woman who could do a lot of different things. It’s good you’re learning, but if that’s all that wins you a man, he might not be worth winning.” He gives me a quick wink and pats me on the shoulder as he heads toward the kitchen. I knew I liked this guy for a reason. Taking a deep centering breath, I tighten my grip on the potato masher and get back to being a good woman.
Apparently I nailed it because later the table is silent while everyone shovels the dinner I made into their mouths.
“This is delicious, Jenny,” Alex says around a bite of mashed potatoes, offering his plate up for another serving. “Between this and how well you’re doing at the store, you’re proving you can do anything you set your mind to.”
Except Pierce . . . I’ve put my mind to doing him but have been unsuccessful so far.
“Jenny, I have to say,” my mother chokes back emotion as she blots her eyes with her napkin, “when I got that phone call that you’d been in an accident I was so afraid I’d lost you. I thought I’d never see you again.”
“Mom, I’m fine. I’m right here.” My cheeks are red with embarrassment at her gushing but I’m the only one at the table put off by it.
“I know you are, and as a matter of fact, you’re more here than I ever remember. You and I went so long without connecting to each other, and now it’s like we’re kindred spirits. You’re in a healthy relationship, you’ve stopped that nonsense about only needing a career to be happy, and you’re cooking. I’ve never been so proud.”
Alex leans over and throws his arm around her as my mother does some strange combination of laughing and crying. I look at Pierce, who’s smiling so wide it would be impossible to deny that he agrees with my mother.
“I’m glad she’s deciding she needs more in her life than a career as well,” he interjects, drawing everyone’s eyes to him. “I think there is still somethin
g in her however, that loves to help people. She has a talent she should be sharing with the world, and I’ve got some good news in that department.”
“What are you talking about?” I’m still reeling from my mother’s unsettling declaration that she and I are now alike. I’m not ready for a surprise.
“Well, you know my sister works at the hospital. Her best friend is dating the head of the research department. They’re looking for some entry-level employees to help facilitate an upcoming clinical trial. You’d be back in the game.”
“Why would you do that?” Everyone in the room reads my question as stunned excitement. But it’s terror. Sheer terror.
His smile grows larger, and I can see he’s missed the crux of my question. “I thought I’d shown you by now that I’d do anything to help you out. You said you’d struggle to get back into your field because of the way things ended at your last company. This might be a little lower on the totem pole, but as a favor to my sister, they’re going to bring you right on. All we need to do is show up this weekend at a hospital fundraiser gala. They’ll get a chance to meet you, and it’ll be a done deal. You’ll be back to work.”
“I-I already have a job,” I stutter, looking over at Alex and praying he’ll make a case for how important it is for me to continue working for him.
“Oh nonsense,” he chimes in, waving off the idea. “I knew this would be temporary. Obviously a talented woman like you would get snatched up by someone in no time. It’s no problem at all. You should focus on this opportunity and the gala. Don’t worry about coming in tomorrow.”
“This is wonderful,” my mother shouts, clapping her hands together. “A nice entry-level job in a field you love will keep you from devoting all your time to it. I can’t think of anything more perfect. What a sweet thing to do, Pierce.” She jumps from her seat, rounds the table, and plants a kiss on his cheek.
And just like that it happens. I’m back to feeling the polar opposite of my mother. There is no longer anything kindred about us.
Now is my chance to throw up my arms and demand to be heard. I don’t want to go to this gala. I don’t want to work in the medical community again. I want as much space as possible between who I was and who I am right now because that’s the only way I know how to keep thoughts of Harrison at bay. Yes, it’s time to insist I don’t need my life planned for me. No one around this table even knows me.
I literally lose my breath under the weight of that thought. These people are strangers. They know only the person I’m trying to be, and I don’t think any of them will like the person I’m trying not to be anymore.
As their eyes look expectantly at me, I smile until my cheeks hurt because I need anything that will dull the aching pain in my chest. As my mother rattles on about the perfect dress she has for me, I blink back the tears and hold my breath, just waiting for it all to pass.
Chapter Nineteen
“You look stunning,” Pierce says breathlessly as he takes my hand and spins me in the moonlight. My red satin cocktail dress shimmers; I should have chosen black to mourn the evening. It’s likely I’ll go to this party and cross paths with someone from my former life. Maybe not a person I worked with every day, but odds are the rumor mill was working overtime after I was fired and someone on the peripheral of my business life would have heard.
That should have been enough to get me to bail on tonight. Pierce is the most stable and dependable thing in my life right now. He may not see everything I keep in my broken heart, but he’s been loyal and patient. He’s put my needs, or at least what he believes are my needs, first. It’s been over a month, and we’ve done little more than get to know each other’s habits, all in the name of my healing and finding my footing.
“Are you excited?” he asks as he leans me against the side of his truck and tucks my hair behind my ears. He looks perfect in his gray suit and red tie to match my dress. Tilting my chin upward he kisses me. I welcome it, not only to feel connected to him but to stall while I work the answer to his question.
“Nervous,” I breathe into his lips as he pulls away. “I appreciate all you’ve done for me, and I don’t want to blow it.”
“You’ll do great. I know you will. I look at what you’ve done in the last month, how far you’ve come, and I’m impressed every day by you.”
“Thanks.” I shrug as a shiver goes up my spine. “There’s something I need to say before we go to this gala, Pierce.” Mustering as much courage as possible I conjure the right words to explain what happened between Harrison and me. What he did to me. How I compromised myself.
“Me first.” He grins, leaning against me with the weight of his body. Cupping my chin in his hand he bores holes through me with his intense stare. “Tonight I want to celebrate. We’ve waited long enough. I can’t go another night without you in my bed. When we get home let’s move your stuff into my room.”
“So we can sleep?” I ask tentatively. My lack of questions the first time is what left me shocked when I ended up in the spare room.
“Eventually, I’m sure we’ll need some rest,” he whispers through my hair, his warm breath teasing my ear. “You’re exactly what I’ve always wanted in a woman. You’re funny and kind. You watch out for your friends, and you try hard to make your mother happy. Which I know isn’t easy. You’re a very special person. I know the time we’ve spent together hasn’t exactly been conventional, but I think it’s what we needed. You’re exactly what I’m looking for, and tonight I want to take the next step.”
“Let’s skip the gala,” I say, reaching for the buckle of his belt. “We could stay here, go back inside. I want to be in your arms, Pierce. I want you now.” I run my hand down the length of his hard cock pressing through his suit pants. Normally I’d never be so bold with him, but I’m feeling desperate for many reasons. My sexual frustration building inside feels like a volcano that’s been capped and fighting fiercely to boil over. Coupled with my desire to be anywhere but the gala, I’m willing to do just about anything to convince him it’s worth staying here.
“Jenny, you’re making it very hard to get in that car right now.” His lips pull away from mine, and they part over the sensitive skin of my neck. I purr and grind my body against his, clawing my nails into his bicep.
“Take me inside, Pierce. Take me.” I’ve managed to unbutton his pants and yank until the zipper flies open. I firmly grab his cock, letting its heat warm me. This is what I would have done to Harrison if he were here. I’d have forgotten the world around us and reached for what I wanted. I’d have demanded it. The way I want it, when I want it. I feel Pierce’s very subtle retreat and instantly know we will never have what Harrison and I had.
“Jenny, that party is important. We can wait a few more hours.” There is a look in his eyes I was afraid I’d see one day. It’s a look of quiet judgment. It’s hard to sum up in a word; it’s more like an idea: the thought that persistent women, in business or in bed, are bitches or whores. It’s slut-shaming, making me feel impure because I actually enjoy sex, and I seek it out. What I want as desperately as any man does. The look is fleeting and punctuated with a light kiss on my cheek, but it stays with me. Pierce won’t be a man I direct to my pleasure. He will never be Harrison. I highly doubt he’d betray me or tolerate anyone else hurting me. I’m at the crossroads between nice guy and wanting something more for myself, even if the stakes are significantly higher.
Pierce pulls open my car door, and I slink into the front seat, feeling thoroughly rejected and bogged down by that judgment in his eyes. Not surprisingly, the ride to the gala is quiet, and I blame it on nerves, which isn’t a complete lie.
“No matter what happens tonight, Jenny, I’m proud of you for getting back out there. You can’t let one asshole keep you down.”
“I need to know something, Pierce. Before we go in there I need an answer to something.”
“Sure,” he shrugs, looking tentative.
“Why me? You’re a gorgeous firefighter who saves people�
��s lives every day. By all accounts you’re a stand-up guy with his life together. I was going to assume that maybe you weren’t very well endowed, but we can take that off the table now. So if you have everything going for you, why did you take any interest in me at my worst? I’ve heard you say I’m kind and we have a lot in common but there has to be something else. Why me?”
Pierce puts the car in park and shifts his body so he can look directly at me. I, however, do not meet his eyes. Not at first. It’s not until he brushes my bangs out of my eyes that I feel compelled to look up. “I’ve been with my share of women over the years. I used to look for one certain type, even when I didn’t realize it. Obviously none of them worked out and for all the same reasons. I’m a really selfless person. That’s not something I’m saying to be conceited, it’s just a part of my makeup. I kept getting into relationships with women who exploited that in one way or another. Three months before your accident I had sworn off women completely. I was so tired of being used. Then that day in the car . . . you told me go. To save myself. No one ever says that. I mean in the movies they do but not in real life. I’ve been doing this job long enough to see people beg for their lives, nearly drowning someone else when they panic in the water. You were the first person to ever tell me to save myself.”
My heart crumbles. He thought that was some kind of courageous and selfless act. I was merely feeling so insignificant and broken I wasn’t worth saving if it meant risking another’s life.
“Then the next time I saw you I got a glimpse of how determined you are. Lying there in the shower, insisting on getting your life back in order. By the time we went out with your friend the first time, I had high hopes for us. I’m not really into the club scene; I’m not into girls who act like Tracey did. It was clear you and I have a lot in common. I know you think waiting to have sex is weird. I’m still coming off my dating hiatus, and I wanted a little more time. I’m looking for a specific kind of woman, and I think you’re it.”