by Wu Cheng-En
When the queen saw them she said mockingly, “Your Majesty, your shirt must be filthy. It can't have been washed for ages. I expect that's why they're there.”
“I've never had insects like these before,” he said in embarrassment. “I would have to make a fool of myself tonight.”
“What do you mean, making a fool of yourself, Your Majesty?” the queen said with a smile. “As the saying goes, even the emperor has three imperial lice. Undress and I'll catch them for you.” The demon king really did undo his belt and take his clothes off.
The imitation Spring Beauty was standing beside the demon king looking closely at the fleas leaping around between each layer of clothing, on which were rows of enormous bedbugs. Lice and nits were crowded as closely together as ants coming out of their nest. When the demon king took off the third layer of clothing and revealed his flesh the golden bells were also swarming with countless insects.
“Your Majesty,” said the imitation Spring Beauty, “hand me the bells so that I can catch the lice on them for you.” The demon king was so overcome with shame and alarm that he handed the three bells to Spring Beauty, not noticing that she was an impostor.
The imitation Spring Beauty took the bells and made a long show of catching lice. When she saw the demon king looking down to shake his clothes she hid the golden bells, pulled out a hair and turned it into three more bells just like the originals that she carried to the lamp to examine.
She then wriggled, braced herself, put the lice, bedbugs and fleas back on her body and returned the imitation bells to the monster. He took them but was still too befuddled to see that they were copies. Passing them with both his hands to the queen he said, “Put them away now, but be very careful with them, not like before.” The queen took the bells, quietly opened the chest, put them inside, and locked them in with a golden lock. Then she drank several more cups of wine with the demon king.
“Dust and clean the ivory bed,” she ordered the serving women, “and spread the brocade quilt. His Majesty and I are going to bed.”
The demon king expressed his thanks but said, “I have no such luck. I don't dare go with you. I'll take one of the palace women with me and go to bed in the Western part of the palace. I wish you a good night by yourself, ma'am.” With that each of them went to bed, and we will say no more of that.
Meanwhile the successful imitation Spring Beauty tucked the treasures into her belt and turned back into Monkey. He shook himself, took back the sleep insect, and headed for the front of the palace, where nightsticks and bells sounded together to mark the third watch. Splendid Monkey made himself invisible by making a spell with his hands and saying the words of it. Going straight to the gates he saw that they were very firmly locked and bolted, so he brought out his gold-banded cudgel, pointed it at the door and made unlocking magic. The gates swung easily open.
Hurrying outside he stood by the gates and shouted two or three times at the top of his voice, “Evil Star Matcher, give us back our Golden Queen.”
This startled all the devils, who hurried to look and saw that the gates were open. Quickly they fetched lamps to find the locks and fasten the gates once more. Several of them were sent running back inside to report, “Your Majesty, there's someone outside the main gates shouting your title and demanding the Golden Queen.”
The slave girls hurried out to say very quietly, “Stop yelling. His Majesty's only just gone to sleep.” Monkey gave another loud shout at the front gates, but the little devils still dared not disturb their master. This happened three or four times over, but they never went in to report. The Great Sage kept up his din till daybreak, by when his patience was exhausted and he swung his iron cudgel to hit the gates. This so alarmed the demons big and small that while some of them barricaded the gates the others went in to report.
As soon as the demon king woke up and heard the cacophonous din he got up, dressed and emerged from his bed-curtains to ask, “What's all the shouting about?”
“Sir,” said the kneeling slave girls, “someone's been shouting and cursing outside the cave half the night. We don't know who it is. Now he's attacking the gates.”
As the demon king went out through the gates of the palace several panic-stricken little devils appeared to kowtow to him and say, “There's someone shouting and cursing outside. He's demanding the Golden Queen, and if we say so much as half a 'no' he goes on and on at us, swearing in a thoroughly horrible way. When Your Majesty still hadn't come out at daybreak he got so desperate he started attacking the gates.”
“Don't open them,” the demon king said. “Go and ask him where he's from and what he's called. Report back as quickly as you can.”
The little devils hurried off to ask through the gates, “Who are you, knocking at our gates?”
“I'm your grandpa sent by Purpuria to take the Golden Queen back to her own country,” Monkey replied. When the little devils heard this they reported it to the demon king, who went back to the living quarters at the back to question the queen about why the attacker had come.
The queen had only just arisen and had not yet done her hair or washed when slave girls came in to report, “His Majesty's here.” The queen hastily tidied up her clothes and let her black tresses hang loose as she went outside to greet him.
He had just sat down and had not yet asked her any questions when little demons were heard again asking, “The Grand Par from over there has smashed the gates down.”
“How many officers are there in your country, ma'am?” The demon king asked with a smile.
“Inside the palace there are forty-eight brigades of horse and foot, and a thousand good officers; and there are ever so many marshals and commanders on the frontiers,” the queen replied.
“Are any called Grand Par?” the demon king asked. “When I was in the palace all I knew about was helping His Majesty in the inner quarters and instructing the consorts and concubines every morning and evening,” the queen said. “There were no end of things happening outside. How could I possibly remember the names?”
“This one calls himself Grand Par,” the demon king replied. “There's no such name I can think of in the book The Hundred Surnames. You're a very intelligent and well-born lady, ma'am, and you've lived in a royal palace. You must have read a lot of books. Can you remember coming across that name in any of them?”
“There's a passage in the Thousand Word Classic that goes, 'received grand instruction,'“ the queen replied. “I think that must refer to him.”
“I'm sure you're right,” the demon king said with pleasure, “I'm sure you're right.” He then got up, took his leave of the queen, went to the Flaying Pavilion, fastened his armor on neatly, mustered his devil soldiers, had the gates opened, and went straight outside with his flower-scattering battle-axe in his hand.
“Who's the Grand Par from Purpuria?” he yelled stridently at the top of his voice.
Grasping his gold-banded cudgel in his right hand and pointing with his left Monkey replied, “What are you shouting at me for, nephew?” The sight of him drove the demon king into a fury.
“Damn you,” he shouted:
“You've a face just like a monkey's;
You resemble a macaque.
A ghost is what you look like;
Don't try to knock me back.”
“Impudent devil,” laughed Monkey, “trying to bully your superiors and push your master around. You're blind. I remember how when I made havoc in Heaven five hundred years ago all the nine heavenly generals only dared speak to me with the greatest respect. If I make you call me Grandpa I'm letting you off lightly.”
“Tell me your name immediately,” the demon king shouted. “What fighting skills have you got that give you the nerve to come rampaging here?”
“You'd have done better not to ask me what I'm called,” Monkey replied. “But as you insist on me telling you I'm afraid you'll be in a hopeless mess. Come here and stand still while I tell you:
Heaven and earth were the parents that
bore me;
My foetus was formed from the sun and moon's essence.
The magic rock was pregnant for years beyond number;
Strange indeed was the miraculous root's gestation.
When I was born the Three Positives were at their height;
Now I have been converted all is in harmony.
Once I was declared the chief of all the demons,
Who bowed to me by the red cliff as subduer of monsters.
The Jade Emperor issued a decree of summons,
And the Great White Planet came with the edict,
Inviting me to Heaven to take up my office,
But as Protector of the Horses I had no joy.
When I first planned rebellion in my mountain cave
Boldly I led my armies against the Jade Emperor,
The Pagoda-carrying Heavenly King and Prince Nezha
Were utterly helpless when they fought against me.
Then the White Planes made a new suggestion,
And brought another edict urging me to make peace
I was made Great Sage Equaling Heaven,
And proclaimed as one of the pillars of the state.
Because I disrupted the banquet of peaches
And stole elixir when drunk I met with disaster.
Lord Lao Zi submitted a memorial in person,
And the Queen Mother of the West did homage to the throne.
Knowing that I was running riot with the law,
They mustered heavenly forces and issued movement orders.
A hundred thousand vicious stars and evil planets
Were packed in close array with their swords and their halberds.
Heaven-and-earth nets were spread across the mountain
As all of the soldiers raised their weapons together.
A bout of bitter fighting left neither side the victor,
So Guanyin recommended the warrior Erlang.
The two of us fought together for mastery;
He was helped by the Seven Brothers who come from Plum Hill.
Each of us played the hero and did our transformations:
The three sages at the gates of Heaven opened the clouds.
Then Lord Lao Zi dropped his diamond noose,
And the gods led me as a prisoner to the steps of the throne-hall.
They did not bother with a detailed indictment:
The sentence was death by a thousand cuts.
Axe and hammer could not till me,
And I was unharmed by sword or saber.
Fire and thunderbolts were neither here nor there;
They had no way to destroy my immortal body.
I was taken under escort to the Tushita Heaven,
And all was arranged to refine me in the furnace.
Only when full time was up did they open up the vessel,
And I came bounding out from the middle of the crucible.
In my hands I was wielding this As-You-Will cudgel
As I somersaulted up to the Jade Emperor's throne.
All the stars and constellations went into hiding,
And I could play the vandal in the palaces of Heaven.
The Miraculous Investigator rushed to invite the Buddha,
Then Sakyamuni and I both displayed our powers.
Turning my somersaults in the palm of his hand
I roamed all over the heavens before my return.
The Buddha then, using both foresight and deception,
Crushed and held me at the ends of the heavens.
After a period of over five hundred years
My body was delivered and I could once more play up.
Guarding the Tang Priest on his journey to the West,
Brother Sun Wukong is very intelligent.
I subdue the demons on the Westward road:
Every evil spirit is struck with terror.”
When the demon king heard him tell that he was Sun Wukong he said, “So you're the so-and-so who made havoc in Heaven. If you were released to guard the Tang Priest on his journey West then you should be an your way there. Why are you being such a busybody and making trouble for me? You're acting as if you were the slave of Purpuria. By coming here you've thrown your life away.”
“Thieving damned monster,” Monkey shouted back. “You don't know what you're talking about. I was politely invited to help by the king of Purpuria. He addressed me very respectfully and treated me well. I'm a thousand times higher than that king. He treated me as if I were his father and mother or a god. How can you say I'm acting like a slave? I'll get you, you monster, for bullying your superiors and trying to push your master around. Stay there and take this from your grandpa.” The monster then moved his hands and feet as fast as he could, dodged the blow from the cudgel and struck back at Brother Monkey's face with his flower-scattering axe. It was a fine battle. Just watch!
The gold-banded As-You-Will cudgel,
The flower-scattering axe and its wind-keen blade.
One ground his teeth with terrible ferocity;
The other gnashed his molars and displayed his might.
One was the Great Sage Equaling Heaven descended to earth,
The other an evil demon king come down to the lower world.
Both snorted out clouds and shining mists that lit up the heavenly palace.
Sent stones and sand flying that blotted out the Dipper.
They came and went through many a movement,
Twisting and turning and giving off golden light.
Each used all of his talents to the full;
Both staked the whole of their magical powers.
One wanted to take the queen back to the capital;
The other would happily have stayed with her in the cave.
There was no deep reason for the struggle:
He was ready to give his life for the sake of the king.
When the two of them had fought fifty rounds without result the demon king realized that Monkey was too strong a fighter for him to be able to beat. Blocking the iron cudgel with his axe the demon said, “Stop, Sun the Novice. I haven't had my breakfast yet today. Let me eat, then I'll have it out with you.”
Monkey was well aware that he wanted to fetch the bells, so he put his cudgel away and said, “A hero doesn't chase an exhausted hare. Off you go. Have a good meal, and get ready to come back and die.”
The demon quickly turned and rushed inside, where he said to the queen, “Get me my treasures at once.”
“What for?” she asked.
“The man challenging me to battle this morning was a disciple of the monk who's going to fetch the scriptures,” he said. “He's called Sun Wukong, or Sun the Novice, and Grand Par was just a nickname. I've been battling it out with him all this time, but still there's no outcome. Just wait while I take my treasures out and set off smoke and flames to burn that ape.” These words made the queen feel very uneasy. If she didn't fetch the bells, she was worried that he might be suspicious, but if she did she feared that Sun the Novice would be killed. As she was hesitating the demon king pressed her again: “Hurry up and fetch them.” She had no choice but to undo the lock, bring out the three bells and hand them to the demon king, who took them and went outside the cave again. The queen sat in the inner quarters, her tears pouring down like rain, as she thought that Monkey would not possibly be able to escape with his life. Neither of them realized that the bells were only copies.
Once outside the cave the demon stood upwind and shouted, “Stay where you are, Sun the Novice. Watch while I ring these bells.”
“You have your bells, but why shouldn't I have mine?” Monkey replied. “You can ring yours, so why shouldn't I ring mine?”
“What bells have you got?” the demon king asked. “Show me.” Monkey pinched his iron cudgel to make it into an embroidery needle that he tucked into his ear then brought out the three real treasures from at his waist.
“Here are my purple gold bells,” he said to the demon king. The sight of them came as a shoc
k to the demon.
“That's funny,” he thought, “very funny. Why are his bells exactly the same as mine? Even if they'd been cast from the same mould they'd not have been properly smoothed: you'd expect some extra marks or missing knobs. How can they be identical with this?”
“Where did you get your bells from?” he went on to ask again.
“Where are yours from, dear nephew?” Monkey replied.
Being honest, the demon king replied, “These bells of mine,
Come from deep in the Way of the Immortal of Great Purity,
Are made of gold long refined in the Eight Trigrams Furnace
Formed into bells renowned as ultimate treasures
Left by Lord Lao Zi till the present day.”
“That's where my bells come from too,” Monkey replied with a smile.
“How were they made?” the demon king asked.
“These bells of mine,” said Monkey,
“Were made of gold refined in the furnace
When Lord Lao Zi made elixir in the Tushita Palace.
They are cyclical treasures.
The two threes make six:
Mine are the female and yours are the male.”
“The bells are golden elixir treasures,” the demon king said, “not birds or beasts. They can't be male or female. As long as they yield what's precious when they're rung they're good ones.”
“Words prove nothing,” said Monkey. “Show it by actions. Shake yours first.” The demon king then rang his first bell three times. No fire came out. He rang his second three times. No smoke came out. He rang his third three times, and no sand came out either.
“Very odd,” he said, making wild gestures, “very odd. The world's changed. These bells must be hen-pecked. When the males see the females they don't dare to do their stuff.”
“Stop, nephew,” said Monkey. “Now I'm going to shake mine to show you what happens.” The splendid ape then grasped all three bells in one hand and rang them together. Watch as clouds of red flames, black smoke and yellow sand all come gushing out, setting the trees and the mountain ablaze. Monkey then said the words of another spell and shouted “Wind!” towards the Southeast; and a wind did indeed spring up that fanned the flames. With the power of the wind behind them the flames and smoke filled the heavens, blazing red and deepest black, and the earth was covered by the yellow sandstorm. The Evil Star Matcher's souls fled from his body in his terror, but he had nowhere to turn: amid that fire there was no way of escaping with his life.