by V. Theia
"Fuck off, bonehead. I can grow a beard if I want one!"
"Sure, you can." Shane didn't sound convinced, what with the way he grinned at Asher who flipped him off. "Come on, speaking of the pissy one, we can grab that toy fire truck he wanted, we’ll take it home tomorrow. Ma will want to see my pretty face before we ship out. Yours, too, I suppose." He hooked an arm around Asher's neck.
"Don't care what you say. I'll leave you to shoot out the kids. And I ain't babysitting, I'll be the uncle that stands waaaaaaay over there and throws peanuts at the cages. Do kids live in cages?"
******
Present Day
The first look Preacher got of Sebastian the whole room shifted under his feet until he thought the hospital was experiencing an earthquake. Ruby had let go of his hand rushing across the single-bed room where the kid was sat on the end of it, his legs dangling over the edge, crushing him to her chest, clutching him gently, her cries were something that tore down to the heart and stayed there. He came into the room much slower, the woman in the corner sat with her purse on her lap looked over at him warily. She introduced herself as a social worker.
It was the kid who had his attention.
Four years old, dressed in a pair of what used to be blue pajamas, now covered in smoke damage, same for his face and hair. He had one of those bowl-cuts, old fashioned for a kid his age but made him cute as fuck, but his face … fuck … every muscle in Preacher’s body tensed with pain, his belly rolling over and his heart just went into freefall.
That little fucking face about killed Preacher to the point he wanted to go down to his knees and bawl his goddamn eyes out. He’d never seen such a sad little kid before.
He wanted to bring him the moon just to make him happy.
And so, quiet. He barely even reacted when Ruby grabbed him in a hug kissing his face, she was holding his cheeks, running a hand through his hair checking he was okay, reassuring herself the kid was alive, and still, he barely reacted.
Shock, most probably, but from what Ruby had told Preacher, this was his normal state, beat down by the shitty life with a shitty parent, it was almost as if the kid was resigned to badness, like it was no big fucking deal he’d just nearly died in a house fire, no big deal he was four years old in a hospital he didn’t know with only the company of a social worker who looked like she chewed wasps for fun.
For motherfucker's sake, the kid broke Preacher’s ribcage wide open. He cleared his throat and ran a hand down his beard, up and down, and back again.
“Auntie Ruby is here now, my love,” she told him then turned to the social worker. “I can look after him when they sign him out of here, I can take him.”
Oh, baby.
He was willing to back her up with anything she needed to deal with this shitstorm, but he could already see on the wasp-chewers face it was not going to be as easy as saying she wanted the kid. “Hello, I’m Jacklyn Denton, the temporary guardian of Sebastian, we were told you were coming. I’m sorry, miss---?”
“Steele. Ruby Steele. I’m his aunt. Rita is my sister. I’m all the family he has.” As upset as she was, Preacher heard the true iron in her voice. That’s my girl. Preacher moved himself further into the room and two little brown eyes came up and at him, still, the boy didn’t twitch a muscle.
Jesus, kid, killing me. Preacher smiled at him and approached gradually before lowering his height by going down on his haunches by the bed. Small legs dangling over the end, he wasn’t even wearing footwear for fuck's sake. Preacher’s heart thumped.
“Hey, little man.”
“I’m sorry, Miss Steele, but until we have the full story, Sebastian has to be taken care of by the state. His father----”
“Is a waste of fresh air,” Ruby whispered harshly. “He’s not even here when his son in the hospital.”
“Sebastian’s well-being is our priority, Miss Steele, I promise.”
“Yes, and he’s mine, too.” Ruby deflated right in front of him, sitting on the side of the bed she lifted the kid onto her lap, he allowed it but didn’t seem to know what to do with the affection.
“This is my friend, Seb. Do you want to say hello to Preacher?”
The kid made his first normal kid move and burrowed his face shyly into Ruby’s tits. Preacher grinned, he’d be there if he could too. “He’s nice, he just looks like a grizzly bear, doesn’t he?” She staged whispered to him. Sebastian took a small peek at Preacher and burrowed back in.
He rose, addressed the social worker. “Is there anything we can be doing, Ms Denton? As you can understand this is a difficult time for Ruby, she only wants the best for Sebastian. So, whatever we can do to make this go as smoothly as it can, we’ll do.”
“For right now, it’s all about making sure Sebastian is taken care of, health wise, the doctor wants to keep him in overnight and tomorrow, if we can’t locate his father.” Fat chance, lady. Not if that fuckwit started that fire. “Then he will be temporarily placed with foster carers.”
“What? But I am here.” Ruby insisted. “I’m his family.”
“Of course, Miss Steele, every circumstance will be made to ensure the best suitable placement for Sebastian.”
It sounded like wasp-chewer was blowing smoke up his old lady’s ass and from the look of fire in Ruby’s eyes, she was ten seconds away from erupting. He stepped forward, took her hand, gave it a little squeeze. “That’s fine. Please keep in mind Ruby is more than willing to take the boy. She’ll be staying here with him tonight.” He didn’t pose it as a question. There was no way Ruby would be leaving and he’d level the hospital to the ground to see that she got what she wanted. She smiled at him gratefully. He dropped a kiss to her forehead. “I’m going to go and grab you some coffee, beautiful, you need food. What can I bring the little man?”
It was way past his bedtime, all their bedtimes, Ruby was running on fumes.
“Maybe some juice. You want some OJ, Seb?” Cuddled into Ruby he nodded sneaking glances at Preacher.
Jesus. This kid was killing him. He’d never seen such a somber tiny human in his life. He had a want to make him laugh, to bring him every goddamn toy he could find just to see him smile, to have the kid see someone cared for him.
Kissing her forehead again, he stroked Ruby’s hair briefly. “I won’t be long, baby. I have my cell.”
Once he was outside the room, he searched the signs for directions to somewhere he could buy coffee, and he fished out his phone, hitting a number.
It rang and rang and then. “Hello? This better be fuckin’ good.” A sleep timbered Rider answered.
“It is, Prez. Sorry if I disturbed Zara.” Best to start on the right foot with the president and his girl was his Achilles heel, something Preacher was fast understanding, what with him jonesing out right now for leaving Ruby alone when all he wanted to do was rush back into that hospital room, grab her and the kid and take them somewhere secure.
The smell of antiseptic was strong in his nose. The distinct scent telling him he was walking the hallways among the diseased and dead. He hated hospitals, he’d seen enough military doctors to last a lifetime. Ignoring a lingering hungry look from a nurse walking by who did a double-take when she saw Preacher. Six months ago, he would have talked his way under her little uniform, now he felt nothing for that fast sex chase.
“Zara is sleepin’, lucky for you. What’s up, Preacher? Lawless said you took a trip out of town.”
He quickly relayed the situation. “Your girl okay?”
“She’s holding on by a thread. I need a favor, Prez. Do we still have Archie on retainer?” He was the club lawyer. A little bit crooked balancing a fine line of what he construed of the law but the Colorado-born guy could work miracles when they found themselves in hot water. Invaluable to any MC.
“Yeah. You thinkin’ you need him?”
“Not sure, yet. But I'd like his input to see where she stands legally. I don’t think the state is gonna let Ruby have him, I got a bad feeling from the social w
orker. And if it turns out the douchebag has killed her sister, not sure how it’ll go for the boy. As it stands now, the social worker is talking foster care. I can’t let that happen, Rider. It will kill Ruby.”
“Let me make a call and get that asshole out of bed. If we’re all awake then he should be too, it's what we pay a retainer for. Expect his call in a few, brother. Is there anythin’ else we can do on this end?” The instant offer of help from his president went some way into calming Preacher's nerves.
“Not sure, honestly, it’s not a situation I’ve been in before. The fucking kid, Rider, the fucking kid.” He had to take a long breath before his voice cracked. He kept on walking, he needed a task to do, to keep his head busy and steady to be a support she’d need, and bringing Ruby food was it. “He’s this sad little thing, it killed me, I don’t mind admitting. I gotta get him for Ruby.”
“I get it, brother.” And Rider did, Preacher had seen him last year, when Zara came back into his life, how his priorities had shifted slightly towards getting revenge for his old lady.
Preacher got it now. He totally fucking understood that single-mindedness of shielding your woman against the big-bad world from any hurt that might drip its nastiness on her shoes. Preacher was feeling it under his sternum, that steadfast superhero thump of needing to protect what belonged to him. He was crazy enough to do anything.
“She’s a single woman who works in a bar and a motorcycle club. It doesn’t favor well, Ri. I need Archie to … hell, I don’t know, advise, or work his magic on this, so we’re prepared for the worst.”
Rider agreed and told him to stand by for a call from their law-man if anyone knew how to bend the law to his advantage it was Archie.
“You know, you could always marry her.” He offered down the line with an amused snicker. Preacher’s lungs ceased working. “To check one of those restrictions off the list. The state looks more favorable for married people.”
Fuck.
Fuck.
His air bags inflated once more and began working as he sucked in air. But now it was his hearts turn to thump and roll around in his chest.
He went on autopilot raiding the shitty vending machine for anything edible he could find, two snickers bars, she’d need the sugar for shock, he grabbed a few bags of chips and nuts, then he poured two coffees from the station the hospital had set up. It smelled like pond water, but it was hot, he dumped in half a pound of sugar in hers. On second thoughts, he made one for the social worker wasp lady as well, might as well get in good with her where he could.
Marry his Ruby?
Fuck.
The scary thing was, how not scared he was absorbing that. His pulse was all out of sync ‘cause he wanted it? Now he was thinking of it. He fucking wanted that more than he wanted anything.
His old lady for real by law and by the club.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
“I’ll do whatever I have to for my nephew.” - Ruby
Ruby was numb and in agony all at once on a constant loop of grief and rage. Wicked stabs to her heart took her breath every few seconds, but she had to keep things together, keep her bones working and moving, keep her heart beating, for Sebastian’s sake.
It had been the longest five days of her life. And she never wanted to see or smell the inside of a morgue ever again. The scent of that sterile building in her nostrils, the noise of her shoes on the cold tiled floor, would stay with her forever. She knew how death worked, she’d been the one to take care of her mother’s funeral when she was little more than a teenager, was it any wonder her family let her take the reins in everything, they expected it. Now she was doing this last thing for Rita.
She had to. Keep it together, hold it in. Seb couldn’t be entrusted to anyone else, who could love that little boy more? It was preposterous the authorities even had to consider it. But it was proving difficult much to her dismay. It was life stacking up the bad news one at a time.
She’d cried so many tears this past week she was dry, deplete of feelings, like she was a giant husk, all hollow inside, the echo of her pain the only thing she could hear. She kept replaying the last words she’d said to Rita, hateful words, tired frustrated words, the sister's having their usual slanging match on the phone and now she couldn’t hear her voice anymore, no matter how hard she searched her memory, it was just gone.
The police were looking for that dickhead Dwayne, they weren’t saying why, but she knew he’d had something to do with Rita’s death, when she’d thought about it, Rita’s last text didn’t even sound like her. How could a dead woman text? Come to Colorado, you can have a life with me. If only she’d listened, god, why hadn’t she just listened for once? Ruby wanted to scream until her lungs burned, but she had to keep it together, had to keep going.
Looking over at Preacher from her vantage point on his bed, she could see him through the doorway to the bathroom, wearing a pair of low-riding gray sweatpants that hung off his hips, shaving his skull with one of those electrical clippers, small dustings of hair fell onto his shoulders and chest.
She made him her focal point, when her breastbone grew tight and achy, like she wanted to fall apart on the floor and just die alongside her sister, she made him her strength this week and he’d held her up, he’d been by her side every minute of the day and night, staying at the hospital until Seb was checked out, he held her while she cried when the child protection services took him, ensuring they’d do their best to look at her application for temporary custody, she’d hugged Seb so hard, telling him she loved him and she would see him again soon. He was four years old, all he knew was he was being left on his own.
Through it all, Preacher had been there. Her tall macho rock. Asking the questions, she couldn't think to, making sure she ate, going to places even she didn't want to go but death forced her hand, through it all he held hers and guided her forward.
The funeral. God. She’d blocked it out, couldn’t think of it, the pitiful attendance was testament how her sister had ruined her life and those that turned up were junkies, some friend legacy to leave behind. When it looked fruitless to stay in Nebraska, the CPS had let her know they’d be in touch, and so had detective Kane, they’d hopped on a plane and returned home. Helpless and empty.
Preacher’s lawyer had told her honestly her lifestyle would come into question when the CPS looked at her application, never considering she was the one person in this whole damn miserable world who loved that boy, who would go above and beyond to give him a good life, but no, they had their fucking protocols and checklists to adhere to.
Ruby was terrified she was going to lose him. What could she do?
“You doing okay, beautiful?” She hadn’t heard the clippers switch off. Her eyes rose to meet Preacher’s. She nodded and gave him what she thought was a smile. He padded forward, dropped down on his haunches in front of her, taking her cold hands in his. “I’m gonna cook up some eggs, you’ll eat.” She nodded again.
“I can do it.”
“Let me take care of you, Ruby. Just a little.”
Preacher was a sword cutting through all the mundane life for her when she was too numb to even think about it. She reached out and touched his cheek briefly, she wanted to say so much to him, tell him how grateful she was he existed and was in her life, that he’d stayed with her and let her leak all over him, she wanted to say so much and yet no words came, he turned his head and kissed the center of her palm before rising, he dropped another kiss on the top of her head.
“Asher?”
He turned at the door and gave her one of those devastating smiles of his that curled the edge of his mouth, and flooded warmth in her belly. She took the smile and made it her own, took it for herself, she needed it more than ever.
“I can’t ----I can’t remember anything good. All my good memories of everything, are gone. I can’t----I can’t remember Rita’s voice, or the last time I played with Seb and made him laugh. I fought and risked everything to give my sister a better chance in lif
e, something other than the same path our parents took, and it was all for nothing. It feels all for nothing, she’s fucking dead and I’m so angry she left Seb, and it’s all gone and I don’t know what to do with that. I don’t even remember the last kiss you and I shared. I can’t see anything good anymore. It’s just all gone.” Her voice rose in panic, a storm building in her eyes. He came back to her instantly and crouched down, his eyes holding hers, nothing but sympathy and understanding in his touch. She clutched at his hands, racking her brains, everything in there was empty, a void of nothing and dark noise, her eyes filled with tears.
“Baby.” He pulled her in. “I have you.” He dipped his head, pressed their lips together. “That was our last kiss and just like every kiss we’ve shared, it was perfect, more than I can put into words. I love every kiss you give me and I love the promise of more kisses to come even better.” He drew her in, calmed her with a few simple words. “I have you, Ruby. it’s going to be okay, I promise. Not today, or tomorrow, but it will.”
******
Preacher had the forever kind in mind. The idea of them not having forever together fucking scared him to the bones, but while he kept that in his head, he didn’t let Ruby in on it, not now, not yet. He just held her, soothed her, told her she wasn’t alone.
You could always marry her.
That happy maniacal thought had buzzed around his skull all week, wondering if he should bring it up to her, the graver updates they received from Archie the closer he was to laying it down as an offer to the table. Ruby was holding on by a thread, any more bad news regarding that kid she was gonna lose it and he wouldn’t see that happen.
He made her food and managed to talk her into a nap in the living room.