by Bonnie Vanak
“That was a damn foolish thing to do, Darcy. You could have died out there.”
“Oh yeah?” She felt foolish, childish, and needing a fight. “What do you care?”
“I do care,” he snapped. “I care about you, damn it.”
“Funny way of showing it,” she retorted.
“Want me to show it?”
He crossed the room, eating up the space between them, and kissed her. All the hunger inside her broke, and she kissed him back, desperate to have him close.
They kissed each other with fervent hunger, tongues tangling, their moans mingling as they held each other tight.
This was all wrong. She wasn’t about to be used for sex. No matter how good the sex was. Darcy pulled away and pushed him.
“Go away,” she said dully. “Leave me alone.”
Torment swirled in his dark eyes, but he turned and left.
Long after he’d gone, she lay in bed, weeping into her pillow.
14
Ever since Darcy had returned to the ranch, Adrian felt out of sorts.
He wanted all of her. The pack needed him.
He needed Darcy, but his people needed him more. Tomorrow he had to leave.
Adrian had privately asked Darius for a favor—to beg sanctuary for Darcy in the Mitchell pack. She’d be safe here, and he trusted them. Aiden owed him a life after Adrian delivered his baby, and Adrian felt confident the alpha wouldn’t object to allowing Darcy to remain here.
If she wanted to stay. At least she’d have a home.
Adrian scrubbed a hand against his chest. The mulberry wool sweater he wore wasn’t enough to chase away the ice settling inside him.
Since her rescue two nights ago, Darcy moped around the lodge, looking miserable. He was responsible for it.
Damn, he hadn’t meant to sound cold and remote to her right after the baby’s birth, but it hurt deeply, seeing the glow on Aiden’s face as the other alpha met his newborn daughter. It’s a life I wanted with you, Darcy, from the moment you smiled at me. I never wanted anyone but you at my side as my mate. I’ve harbored this dream for ten years, seeing us start our own family, grow old together. And now that dream has died.
Maybe Aiden would have answers. The other alpha had led a strong, large pack for years. Hell, Adrian wasn’t above asking for help.
Sure, he was an arrogant alpha, but when it came to Darcy, he could swallow his pride.
He found Aiden in the nursery. The door was open. He hesitated to enter, but Aiden waved him inside.
“Darius said you were looking for me,” Aiden told him.
Seated at the white rocking chair by the frost-covered window, the big alpha held his new daughter. Outside, the Montana winter was blowing snow around in lazy swirls. The room held a toasty warmth that didn’t all have to do with the furnace in the basement.
Wearing jeans and a red flannel shirt, sleeves rolled up to reveal strong forearms, Aiden looked strong enough to crush cars. But he held the newborn as if she were glass.
Adrian studied the other alpha. He was not a sentimental or soft type, for he needed to rule his pack with a firm fist, but the dazed look of pure love on the other male’s face tugged at his heart.
“She’s sound asleep. We can talk,” he told Adrian.
“She looks so fragile. Adorable. So tiny.” It never ceased to amaze him how delicate newborns appeared and yet how they grew up so fast.
Aiden glanced up at him. “For the longest time, I wanted a son. Someone to rule after me. I needed an heir—a son—who would be just like me. Ego. You know how it is.”
Adrian nodded.
“I promised my pack I would father a fine, strong boy to carry on after me. And this precious girl.” Aidan dropped a kiss on the sleeping newborn’s forehead. “I wouldn’t trade her for all the gold in the world. If I’m lucky, she’ll be as pretty and as strong as her mother. A good future leader.”
Adrian blinked. “You would hand over leadership of your pack, a pack this size, with so many strong males, to a female?”
“Why not? As long as Nia and I teach her how to handle her powers, and her roles, she’ll do fine.”
More surprises. This pack was filled with them. Adrian sat on the tufted pink chair, giving a surprised oooph as the chair tilted.
Aiden grinned. “Yeah, that one rocks as well. Nia insisted on two chairs for feeding the baby.”
The nursery was painted pink and yellow, and there were more ruffles here than he’d ever seen in his life. But he liked it.
“We all make promises to our people.” Adrian stroked the armrest, thinking of the terrified Lupines who followed him because he vowed they’d be safe from insane evil ones like Lars. “I promised mine I would never bring evil into our fold.”
“And have you?”
“No. But Darcy is…from the Dark Kingdom.”
There. He’d said it aloud.
Aiden said nothing.
“She lied to me about her uncle’s origins. About her origins.” He frowned. “Technically, she did not. She failed to tell me.”
“Nia lied to me about a lethal disease that could have wiped out every male in my pack. And I still loved her. We worked it out. If you find the right female for your mate, you’ll move heaven and earth and all else to be with her, make her happy.” The alpha’s gaze met his. “And forgive her the dumbass mistakes she’s made. Because she had reasons of her own for keeping secrets from you.”
He sighed. “I have to stop swearing. I put a jar on the counter and told Darius for every swear word I utter after the baby was born, I was putting one dollar cents into it. And the money would go to her college fund. It’s going to be damn hard to break that habit.” Aiden rolled his eyes. “There I go again.”
Adrian laughed. Then he rocked some more. “I like you, Mitchell. Darcy told me I was a…” He started to say “ass” and glanced at the baby. “A jerk for jumping to conclusions about you. I’d told her I’d have to leave after a day because you’d drive me away.”
The other male shrugged. “You’re not a threat simply because you’re alpha. If you were, I’d sense it, and I would deal with you.” His gaze glinted. “And I have a dozen strong males who stand ready to do the same.”
Nodding, he considered. “Darcy is smart.”
“This Darcy of yours, you love her?” the other alpha asked.
He nodded again.
“She loves you. I can tell. You always can. So maybe she kept secrets from you because she was too scared to tell you the truth, knowing how you felt about the Dark Kingdom and knowing how she felt about you. Love can twist you sideways, sometimes.”
Insight struck him. “Tristan didn’t send Darcy here to assimilate into pack life. He sent us here so you could drill some sense into my thick skull.”
Aidan said nothing, only murmured to the baby.
“I love her. I love her more than my own life. Even more than my people. And that scares me because I vowed nothing would come between me and my pack,” Adrian confessed. He rocked for a minute, thought about it. “But she saved my life. She set me on my feet ten years ago and filled me with the purpose that drives me today.”
“Things happen. Tristan did send you here for a purpose. He always has a reason for what he does. Trust in that,” Aiden advised.
The baby slept on as Aiden kept rocking.
“I’ve never had to deal with him,” Adrian admitted. “I’ve met him only one other time long ago, when he came to my pack and punished Lars for mistreating an elder. I thought that would deter Lars from doling out more abuse. It didn’t. It didn’t save my gran.”
The anger and grief he’d felt at losing his beloved grandmother had faded. Now it was only a distant ache. If he focused on the good times, the good memories, it hurt less. And he wanted to remember her as she’d been alive—a wise woman who loved him dearly, taught him to cook and listened patiently as he talked about his dreams and hopes for the future.
“It was her time to go. Nothing
could have prevented that. You can’t know all the details. Trust me in this. Tristan told me that sometimes, no matter how much we care, how much effort we expend, we can’t save the ones we love.”
Adrian tilted his head at the other alpha. “You sound as if you’re friends with the wizard.”
“Tristan is my brother-in-law. His mate is my Nia’s twin.”
More surprises. “Well, that must make for interesting family reunions,” Adrian said dryly.
Aiden chuckled. “I’m surprised he’s not shown up yet to see the baby.”
Barely had the words fled his mouth when silver smoke puffed into the room. It cleared immediately, and Tristan, the Silver Wizard, stood before them. Dressed in his customary black, he gave an ear-splitting grin.
“You rang?” Tristan asked.
“What took you so long?” Aiden asked.
“I was waiting for both of you to finish your heart-to-heart chat.” Tristan folded his arms across his chest and gave Adrian a pointed look. “And?”
Oddly enough, he felt no fear of this powerful wizard, who was both guardian and judge of his kind. Tristan could point a finger at him and turn Adrian into ash. But he sensed the wizard only wanted to help.
“I love her. I want her as my mate. That’s never stopped. But I’m afraid I’ve driven her off for good. I said things that hurt Darcy.” Adrian struggled with his pride. “I don’t know how to ask for forgiveness.”
“Just ask,” Tristan and Aiden said at the same time.
A faint smile touched Adrian’s mouth. “You two have good advice.”
“May I?” Tristan gestured to the baby, and Aiden handed her over to the wizard.
Tristan took the newborn into his arms, cooed to her. He placed a kiss on her forehead, murmured some words in the ancient language and handed her back to her proud father.
“I gave her an ancient blessing,” he told Aiden. “Peyton will grow strong and courageous, like her parents, and she will find a love in her life as steadfast as yours and Nia’s.”
Emotion clogged Adrian’s throat at the look of pure love the other alpha gave to his new daughter.
“She’s not dating until she’s forty,” Aiden said. He cooed. “You hear that, princess? No boys until you’re forty.”
“Make it fifty,” Tristan advised. “Much safer.”
Adrian grinned. He liked these two and their easy, comfortable way with each other. A knot tightened in his chest. He wanted the same with Darcy—love, commitment and a family.
But had he lost her?
Tristan exchanged looks with Aiden. “Now that you’ve talked with Aiden, is there anything you wish to ask him, Adrian?”
“Or Tristan? He has as much experience as I do,” Aiden added.
These two males had women they loved, and they were willing to help. “How do I get Darcy back? What do I say to her?”
Tristan sat on the floor, stretching out his long legs. “I’ve always found writing down my feelings helps.”
Aiden gave the powerful wizard an arch look. “You write? Never took you for the creative sort. More like zap them into oblivion and leave.”
The wizard narrowed his eyes. “Watch it, Mitchell. We may be related now, but I can still fry you for being a smartass.”
Aiden held out his palm. “You owe me one dollar.”
As Tristan frowned, Mitchell added. “Everyone who swears in this house has to pay a fine of one dollar. I don’t want our daughter to hear cursing.”
Waving a hand, Tristan summoned a neatly wrapped pack of one hundred-dollar bills. He set them on the bureau. “Here. That will jump start her college fund. Consider it an advance on my foul language because you drive me insane sometimes, Mitchell.”
Aiden grinned.
Writing down his feelings. Adrian liked the idea. “A letter,” he mused. “I’ll get started right away.”
15
Darcy never imagined her heart hurting more than it did right now.
In his blunt but sympathetic way, Darius had delivered the bad news to her downstairs as she ate a late lunch.
Adrian planned to leave her here, alone, with the Mitchell Pack. Tomorrow he’d return to Florida without her.
She knew Adrian couldn’t reconcile with her.
All because she was from a place he hated and feared. Couldn’t he see past his own prejudices?
In a way, she supposed she couldn’t blame him. His hatred of Lars ran too deep. How could he trust one of that alpha’s relatives?
Taking her plate, she headed into the kitchen to drop it off for loading in the dishwasher. Lexie was in the kitchen, rummaging through the refrigerator. Dark hair pulled back into a braid, the pretty Lupine hummed as she fished out a container. She popped the lid and dug into the container with a spoon.
Seeing Darcy, she closed the refrigerator door. “Hi, Darcy!”
Nose wrinkling she stared at the container. “What is that?”
“Greek yogurt. With some relish mixed in.”
Gagging would not be polite. “Uh, interesting.”
“I’ve got a craving.” Lexie beamed. “Guess what?!”
Darcy felt a thrill of joy for the Lupine, and the usual sadness for herself. I’ll never get to experience this. I guess it isn’t in my destiny. “I’m glad you have a craving. I was worried you were on some strange diet. Congratulations. When are you due?”
“Not for a while. But I’m two months along. We just found out. And I’m starved!”
Darcy hugged her, genuinely happy for the young Lupine. Lexie hugged her back.
“How’s Jackson?” she asked.
Beaming, Lexie dug out more of the goop. “He’s proud as a peacock and strutting around like one too. He’s so worried about me riding and says he’s going to tie me to a chair for the next seven months because he doesn’t want anything to happen to either me or the baby.”
Typical arrogant, alpha attitude Lupine. “Let me guess. You told him no.”
Lexie winked. “I said the only way he’d tie me to a chair was if he planned more kinky sex.”
Darcy laughed. “Good for you.”
“So now it will be Darius and Sam’s turn. They said they weren’t going to even try until after Aiden and Nia had their firstborn. After Sam and Darius, Dale and Beth said they’re thinking about trying for a family as well. Dale wanted to wait until Beth was ready. Sam said she’s looking forward to dragging Darius out into the forest for some wild times.” Licking her spoon, Lexie winked again. “Sex in the snow can be a lot of fun.”
Could her jaw ache anymore from forcing a wide smile? The Mitchell Pack had everything she’d secretly coveted—a large, happy and supportive family and an air of peace and contentment. Why did you send me here, Tristan? To show me what I can’t have? Even if they’re all different, it doesn’t mean Adrian would accept different too.
“It’ll happen for you too, when you’re ready.” Lexie beamed and waved her spoon. “I saw the way you looked at Adrian, the alpha you arrived with. He’s hot. Soon as you two get mated, you’ll be craving weird things, too.”
Not wanting to sour Lexie’s joy, Darcy smiled. “Maybe.”
She headed for her room. The joy at the alpha pair’s new baby, and now Lexie’s pregnancy, had filtered through the pack. She felt as if she intruded on a private, special time.
In the bedroom, an envelope lay atop the blue-and-white embroidered comforter.
Darcy opened it. She unfolded the stationary. Cream-colored, with bold initials at the top, it looked crisp and businesslike.
The words penned upon it were not.
* * *
My dearest beloved Darcy,
I long to be in your arms tonight, for anywhere with you is paradise. My life, and my heart, are empty without you in it. I am leaving tomorrow. Were I not alpha of my pack, I would surrender all I own for you. But my darling, I made a commitment to my people I cannot break. I long to make the same commitment to you—to dedicate my life, my heart and my soul to k
eeping you happy, safe, protected and feeling cherished.
You are all I truly want in life, Darcy. I am so homesick for you that my heart aches. The memory of your smile and the echo of your laughter sings in my mind. I keep these memories close to me, for soon they will be all I have left of you. I am a fool for letting you go and an even bigger fool for failing to realize how wonderful and precious you are, my darling. A child of the Dark Kingdom, or even Hell itself—it matters not. You are uniquely precious to me. How could I ever doubt you? Your kind heart and your selfless nature are such that you would sacrifice your magick for me and to keep the world safe from evil. I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you for my arrogance and pride. Your happiness comes first, even before my pack.
I love you, always and forever. Please forgive me. I’m a complete and utter ass.
I shall never rest until I have your forgiveness. And if you cannot find it in your heart to forgive me or speak to me again, my dearest wish for you is that you should find your joy and never experience a moment of sadness again. You deserve nothing but happiness.
Yours always,
Adrian
* * *
She sat on the bed, reading his words over and over. The letter fell from her trembling fingers, floating to the carpeted floor.
Adrian loved her. He begged for her forgiveness. Tears clogged her throat. She forced them back.
“Why did you forsake me, Adrian?” she whispered. “Why couldn’t you see past my origins to the real me?”
Like many Others in her past, he’d only seen the façade of what she was, not who she was. Strong, independent—yes. Willing to help those in jeopardy, of course. But also a woman who yearned for a normal life, who wistfully saw a family and wondered if she could ever have the same.
A woman who tired of roaming the earth and wanted a mate who could support her no matter what.
She’d thought Adrian was that person. Instead, he’d let her down.
And then she smelled a familiar fragrance of crisp snow and spices.
Darcy glanced up to see him standing in the doorway. Wearing a warm mulberry sweater, jeans and hiking boots, he looked as miserable as she felt.