I giggle before pulling back. “I can’t argue that.”
“What’s going on?” he asks. He almost seems back to normal, but his eyes keep drifting to his phone on the bedside table and I know there’s something going on that he isn’t telling me. But, it’s not my business to pry. I know Clinton. He’ll tell me when he’s ready.
“It’s my sisters,” I confess, sighing. “I can’t go to our first social because I have a poker tournament, and they just don’t understand. Erin still thinks I can just bail on them and Jess looks at me like a nasty bug on the ground every time I bring it up.”
“What about Ashlei?”
“She hasn’t been around much, but she’s sort of in the same boat as Erin. I know they don’t mean to hurt my feelings but… it just sucks. I want them to get that it’s more than just a stupid hobby to me.”
He leans back against his headboard, thinking. Clinton’s room is one of the best in the house, design wise. He’s got a thing for interior design, and I’ve never known another guy to keep his room as clean as Clinton does. It’s themed in beiges, dark greens and mints with décor strategically placed to make the room appear bigger than it really is. His bedspread is a dark forest color that pulls out the slight hint of green in his hazel eyes. “You’re right – I know for a fact they’re not trying to hurt your feelings. But, Skyler, you have to understand their perspective, too. These are girls who were born into money – good money. They don’t know what it’s like to work for it yet. And poker? Please. Other than the blackjack we play at fundraisers, these girls are clueless when it comes to the game.”
“So why don’t they ask me more about it then? It’s not like I couldn’t teach them.”
“Probably for the same reasons you don’t ask them to show you how to do your makeup or how to shop for the dresses that will make you look skinnier or whatever. It’s not their thing, Sky. And, to be honest, that’s what makes you so special – because it’s not something you share with many other people.”
I smile at that and chew on his words, digesting his point of view. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Thinking back to high school, my smile fades. “But… what if I don’t want to stand out? What if I’d rather… blend.”
“I think the key is finding a balance. You can fit in without becoming someone you’re not.”
“Such wise words, Bear,” I joke, cocking a brow. Feeling more at ease about my situation, I turn the conversation to him. “So, you going to tell me what that phone call was about at the party last week?”
His jaw tenses. “It was nothing.”
“Bear…”
“Don’t,” he says, jumping to his feet. He runs his hands through his short hair and inhales a deep breath before expelling it from his chest. “Sorry, I’m just not in the mood to talk about it. I’m fine, though.”
I study his features, and without even a minute passing I know he’s lying. Clinton’s poker face is weak, at best. He wears his emotions on his sleeves, whether he wants to or not. But, again, I know he’ll tell me when he’s ready.
“Okay. I need a drink. Let’s go take shots with your brothers.”
He laughs, but his eyes still wear a coat of worry. “Yeah, enough of this girly talking shit. I need tequila.”
With that, we make our way into the kitchen and join in on the drinking games. Slowly, all the stress I had when I walked through the door starts to fade. After my third shot, Matt, the Omega Chi Beta president, slides up behind me and starts nibbling on my earlobe.
“Come to my room,” he whispers and tiny goose bumps flow from where his lips graze my skin all the way down to my toes. I follow him back and throw Clinton a devious smile on the way. He just shakes his head and chuckles.
“You look like you could use a distraction,” Matt says when we reach his room, closing the door behind us.
“You have no idea.” I slam my mouth on his and before long, poker is the last thing on my mind.
LAST NIGHT GOT OUT OF HAND. What started as just a few innocent drinking games with brothers turned into a rager that lasted until just before the sun came up this morning. It’s just after three in the afternoon now, but I’m just finding the energy to pull myself out of bed.
When I sit up, I immediately regret it. A sharp pang shoots through my head and I squint against it, grabbing my phone off the bedside table.
No missed calls or texts.
Cursing, I unlock the screen and type out another text to Carleton. When I finish, it pops up into our conversation along with the seven other unanswered messages from me. Typical. I send him money and he disappears from the face of the earth. I can’t stop thinking about my nephews. He knows I worry, which is exactly why he doesn’t answer. It makes it easier for him to ask for money when he knows I care.
A girl’s groan breaks the silence and I startle, whipping around to find another body in my bed. The fuck? Was I really that drunk last night? All I can see is one tan leg outstretched from beneath the covers. The rest of the body, including the head, is still buried beneath them.
“Well that was an interesting Tuesday night,” Skyler mumbles, throwing the covers off.
“Why are you in my bed, Sky?”
“Come on,” she remarks with a look that implies the answer is obvious. “You know I don’t sex and sleep. I sex and leave. Only, I was too tired to do the second part of that mantra last night, so I settled for leaving his room. If it’s under the same roof but not within the same walls, it doesn’t count as sleeping with them, right?”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“You cuddled with me last night.” I blanch and she barks out a laugh. “Kidding, Bear, kidding. You do snore though.”
I grin, but slowly reach for my pillow and then tackle her, holding it playfully over her head while she squirms beneath me. I tickle her sides and she shrieks hysterically, kicking at me to no avail. Suddenly, my bedroom door flies open.
“Uh…” my Little trails off, standing at the door with wide eyes. “Should I come back later?”
Skyler is still giggling as she smooths out her hair and jumps up from the bed. She’s in nothing but a tiny tank top and boy shorts, but she’s not the least bit ashamed. She starts shimmying into her jeans like it’s a normal everyday occurrence for us. “Hey Josh. He’s all yours,” she says, nodding toward me. “I was just on my way out. Class in twenty. See you!”
And with that, she pats Josh on the shoulder and happily skips out of the room. I smirk as Josh watches her walk all the way down the hall before turning back to me, eyes still wide. “Holy shit. Did you fuck Skyler Thorne?”
“Bro,” I deadpan.
He throws his hands up. “I won’t say a word, I swear. But come on, you have to give me details.”
I roll my eyes, standing and pulling on my sweat pants. No wonder it looks like we slept together. We were both in our underwear. “She’s like a sister to me, dude. Don’t act like you don’t know that.”
“Yeah. A seriously hot sister you don’t mind going incestual for.” I punch him hard on the arm and he winces. “All right, all right, I get it. You didn’t sleep together. You just slept together.” He winks. “Your secret’s safe with me.”
“I give up.”
“Hey,” he says, changing the subject and following me down the hall to the kitchen. “Check this out.” He shoves a small pink piece of paper into my hands and I squint to read the cursive writing beneath the bold letters: NOTICE.
“Is this a sound violation?”
“Yeah. Last night was epic,” he answers with a goofy smile.
“We need to watch that shit,” I say, crumpling up the notice and tossing it in the trash. I reach into the fridge for the orange juice with my name on it and chug it straight from the jug. “We’re already on thin ice after Spring Break last year.”
“Whatever. What are they going to do?”
“They could suspend us, Josh.”
“Nah.” He waves me off. “They won’t. We’re too fun. By
the way, I’m throwing an unofficial social tonight. First one of the year. Stoplight theme.”
“Seriously? Did you not just hand me a sound violation notice? Maybe we should lay low until the weekend.” It pains me to say it, seeing as how a stoplight social is one of my favorites. You wear red if you’re taken, yellow if it’s complicated, and green if you’re single. I always love hooking up with the chicks dressed in yellow. Those girls are working through some screwed up shit and they love having revenge sex. And me? Well, I’m the first one to volunteer.
“Bro, relax,” he says, clapping me on the shoulder. “It’ll be fine. See you later, I’m going to actually make an appearance in my chemistry class today.”
I’m still glaring at him disapprovingly when he bounces out of the kitchen. He’s way too energetic for me right now. Sighing, I place the OJ back in the fridge and resolve to let it go. He’s right – we’ll probably be fine. And, truthfully, anything to get my mind off home is welcome right now.
I guess I better clean up the yellow Jordans.
“WAIT, WHAT?” I ask my Little incredulously, standing from where I’d been sitting next to her on the couch in our sorority house living room. She cringes a little, but repeats what I thought I heard the first time.
“I don’t want to take a Little.”
I groan, pinching the bridge of my nose between my fingers. “What are you talking about? You’ve been in a year, it’s time to take a Little. This is how it works, Bo.” I look to my petite Little pleadingly, but she doesn’t budge.
“I’m not ready, Jess. I thought I would be, but I’m not. I want to take a Little, just not right now. I need another year.”
The front door swings open, letting in the fading rays of sunshine from the evening light as Ashlei walks through the frame.
“Oh thank God,” I say. “Please, help me talk some sense into my Little, Lei. I’m at a loss for words.”
Ashlei eyes us both hesitantly before dropping her gym bag to the floor. Her hair is high in a ponytail and she looks like she’s been sweating. I really need to get on her level if I’m going to be taking pictures next to her this semester.
“What’s going on?”
“Bo doesn’t want to take a Little,” I let out the words in one exasperated sigh. “I think it’s her Asian-ness popping up out of nowhere.”
Bo throws me a look, but her mouth actually curls up into a small smile. My Little is part Asian and she’s absolutely gorgeous. We always joke in good spirit about her heritage, so she knows I’m not being mean when I say that. She pokes fun at my German heritage, too – especially when I try to get the first tan of the season and end up burning like a lobster, instead.
“Okay, well… if she doesn’t want to take a Little, is that really the end of the world?”
My jaw drops. “Are you kidding me? It’s an honor to get a Little and you know that! Sisters who don’t get Littles are devastated until they finally do. And I know for a fact that there are at least two new members who want Bo as their Big.”
“Is that true?” Ashlei asks Bo. She only nods in response. “Oh… well why don’t you want to take one?”
Bo opens her mouth to answer but I cut her off. “There is no logical answer. She’s been in a year, she’s been a Little for a year, now it’s her turn to be a Big.”
“But that’s just it,” Bo says loudly, standing and tossing the pillow that was on her lap to the side. Her brows pull together and her long, sleek black hair slides behind her back as she stands. “I’ve been a Little, but I don’t feel like I’ve had a Big.”
My mouth snaps shut and I blink, not sure what to say. Ashlei shifts uncomfortably.
“I’m sorry, but it’s true. You and Stacy are so close. I thought we would be the same way, especially after she graduated, but we’ve barely hung out since I became your Little. It’s like you hung out with me nonstop to get me to choose you as my Big and then just stopped trying. I mean when is the last time we did something together just the two of us?”
I scoff and turn to Ashlei, looking for help. I don’t find it.
“I can’t argue with that one, Jess,” Ashlei says apologetically. “Maybe she’s got a point here.”
“We hang out all the time!” I shout a little louder than I intend to. “We just hung out the other night.”
“Yeah. At sisterhood movie night. But when is the last time we did something just the two of us? Something not sorority related?”
I chew my lip, but can’t come up with an answer. She’s right. I know she’s right. Hell, I was just talking to the girls about how I wish I were closer with Bo. But right now, I don’t want her to be right. I don’t want this to be about us. I want her to take a damn Little and not let our family line die.
“Whatever.” I snatch my Lilly Pulitzer bag off the couch and throw it over my shoulder. “Do what you want, Little. I’m late for class.”
“Jess…” Ashlei tries to stop me, reaching out for my arm but I shrug her off and jet for the door, letting it slam behind me. I’m fuming. Bo should want to take a Little, she shouldn’t be so fixated on what our relationship is like. I’m her mentor. That’s what I’m supposed to be. Not every Big/Little pair is best friends. It’s a special relationship, just like a big and little sister in real life. Yes, sometimes friendships bloom out of that sisterhood, and yes Stacy and I are an example of that. But, Bo shouldn’t be holding back because she’s searching for that with me, too.
I frown at myself as I speed walk into the Political Science building. God, I’m being such a bitch. Here my Little is basically saying she just wants to be better friends with me and I’m yelling at her telling her to go find new friends.
Yeah. I suck.
I snatch a packet of papers from someone as I storm in the classroom and up to a seat near the back. It’s only when I sit down and unload my textbook that I realize I snatched those papers from Jarrett. He’s watching me intently, his dark eyes narrowing as his brows pull in. I grit my teeth and start scribbling in my notepad as hard as I can with my black ink pen, trying to work out the tension that I know only has one true release.
A release I’d really like to get from my professor’s assistant right now.
By the end of class, all the muscles in my body are growing sore and I know I can’t take it any longer. I ignore Ashlei’s text asking if I’m okay along with Jarrett’s concerned glare asking pretty much the same thing and head straight to Ralph’s after attendance is called and Dr. Maynard excuses us. What a fucking Wednesday.
Ralph’s is a small, shitty bar but it’s the closest one to campus and therefore always packed. It’s something between a biker bar and a club and it’s pretty much my home. As soon as I sink down into the barstool, I feel a little better.
“You need a drink,” a deep voice says from behind me. I quickly glance back and fight the urge to roll my eyes. It’s Matt, the president of Omega Chi Beta. He’s always been a huge flirt, which is kind of a lame turn-off to me, but I can’t deny that he’s hot. Bleach blonde hair, hazel eyes, cute grin and tall frame? Yeah. He’ll do.
“I have one,” I point out, lifting my fruity rum drink in his direction before taking a sip.
“Let me buy the next one?”
“I’ve never been one to turn down free booze.” Eying him, I take another sip. “I’m surprised you and your brothers aren’t throwing another rager tonight.”
“Yeah well, we’re trying to lay a little low after last week’s stoplight party. Cops were called, tickets issued, alumni freaked out. You should have seen Bear ripping into Josh. I’ve never seen him so pissed off.”
“Skyler said he’s been acting weird lately.”
Matt frowns. “Yeah, he kind of has. But I think it’s just school shit. And his Little is a dick, so there’s that.”
I laugh. “Yeah, there’s that.”
Matt’s eyes fall to my lips. “You have a beautiful laugh.”
Rolling my eyes, I drain the rest of my drink and nod towar
d the perky bartender at the other side of the bar. She slides me a refill and I nod to Matt. “It’s on his tab.”
“Ruthless,” he says, whistling.
“Hey, you offered.”
“Indeed I did,” he agrees. “But you were supposed to fall for my stupid pick-up lines.”
“Do you want to have sex tonight?” I ask bluntly.
He chokes on his beer, wiping at the corner of his mouth quickly. “Um…”
“Let’s cut to the chase here, Matt. You’re a horn dog. You’re buying me drinks. It’s clear where you want this night to go, and luckily for you I’ve got some tension to work out and I’m more than happy to take it in that direction, too. So,” I pause, slamming back the fresh drink he just bought me and licking the last of it from my lips. “Where to?”
He leans in quickly and presses his lips to mine, running his hand back through my hair and gripping it lightly. I’m a little bored, but I let him kiss me anyway and we make out like high schoolers until I feel him dragging me toward the door.
“Wait.” I pull away from him, breathless. “My bag is behind the bar. One sec.” I rush back to our bartender and she retrieves my bag from the back. When I sling it over my shoulder and turn back to find Matt, I find dark brown eyes, instead.
Jarrett is staring at me from the other side of the bar. His head is low, his elbows propped on the bar as he sips on a dark liquor. He swallows and his jaw tenses as his eyes flick to the door where Matt’s waiting for me. I swallow, too, but lift my bag higher on my shoulder and make my way to Matt. He kisses my neck and runs his hands down my backside when I reach him, growling in my ear about what he can’t wait to do to me.
As he tugs me out the door, I look back over my shoulder, expecting to see Jarrett still watching me. But he’s gone. I frown, more disappointed than I care to admit, but force a smile when Matt pulls me the rest of the way through the door.
Matt’s fun. I like the way he peppers me with kisses as we move between the sheets of his bed and I can’t say I’m not surprised to see he’s packing more than just a wallet in those frat shorts of his. But, I know I should feel guilty right now.
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