by Sue Pethick
“Is having a hard time, I know. But this isn’t the first time he’s used her as an excuse.”
Sam felt his lips tighten.
“An excuse? They’ve lost three babies, Trav. This could be their last shot.”
Jack shook his head. “We’re not a social agency.”
Sam rounded on him.
“No, you’re a hard-hearted SOB who’s trying to make me do your dirty work. Well, I’ve got news for you. This isn’t the Caine and I’m not Commander Queeg.”
Travis stepped quickly between the two men, holding his hands in a placating gesture.
“I’m sorry, Sam. I know you like the guy, but we’ve already talked it over. Kallik needs to go.”
“No,” he said calmly. “I will not fire him. He’s an excellent engineer, and the time he’s missed has had no effect on the safety of this ship or our ability to do our jobs. There’s no good reason to fire him.”
“Fire him,” Jack said. “That’s an order.”
Sam looked down, determined not to lose his temper a second time. He might be young, but he was as qualified as any other captain in port and a darned sight better than most; replacing him at this point in the season would be close to impossible. Whether they realized it or not, these guys needed him a lot more than he needed them.
“If you fire Kallik,” he said, “then you’ll have to fire me, too.”
The co-owners looked at each other, a silent message passing between them. If they had any brains at all, Sam thought, they’d forget the whole thing and let him and his crew get back to work. The longer they made him wait, the more money they were losing. He knew it and they had to know it.
As the seconds ticked by, he felt a smile playing on his lips. He looked up and gave Bob a triumphant look. Whatever your little game is, he thought, you won’t beat me that easily.
“Fine,” Travis said at last. “You’re both fired.”
CHAPTER 19
Emily had not slept well. When she wasn’t worrying about Marilyn, she was worrying about her uncle Danny, and when she wasn’t worrying about either of them, she was worrying about what to tell Sam. Dealing with any one of those things would have been difficult enough, but having all three hit her at once was like being caught in an emotional tsunami. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t stop herself from being swept along; she could only pray she’d reach safety before the waters pulled her under. By the time her alarm went off, she was exhausted.
Unfortunately, Tim Garrett had noticed that something was wrong as soon as she’d arrived at the cannery, and he was waiting for her outside of the locker room. As Emily rushed out to start work, she ran right into him.
“Sorry,” she said absently. “Didn’t see you.”
He frowned at her puffy eyes and reddened nose.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, fine. Just didn’t sleep well, that’s all.”
He gave her a searching look.
“Is it the girls again? I told them if they didn’t cut it out—”
“No. No, everything’s fine at the house, really. They got the message.”
Emily kept her eyes on the ground as they spoke. She made it a point never to discuss personal problems at work, and Noah’s comment the night before was making her especially wary of confiding in Tim. If he was really the source of the problems at the cannery, then he wasn’t to be trusted. Nevertheless, when she finally looked up, the expression on Tim’s face sent a stab of guilt through her heart. He seemed genuinely concerned, and she had no one else she could talk to. It would be such a relief, Emily thought, to tell someone what was going on, even if there was nothing he could do. She felt her lips start to tremble and put a hand over her mouth.
“Emily, what is it? What’s wrong?”
“M-my friend is in the hospital and my uncle is h-having surgery this m-m-morning and I—”
Emily felt her face flush as tears began coursing down her cheeks. She felt embarrassed and stupid for being so weak, and yet it felt so good to finally uncork at least some of the feelings she’d been bottling up that she simply couldn’t stop herself. Even if Tim had been causing problems, she was too desperate to care.
He hesitated, gingerly setting a hand on her shoulder.
“I’m so sorry. That must be awful.”
She nodded, afraid that if she tried to say anything more she’d howl like some strange, demented creature.
“Come on,” he said. “Have a seat in my office. When you’ve calmed down a bit, I’ll give you a ride home.”
Emily shook her head. She didn’t want him to think she was too emotionally fragile to work hard.
“I’m okay, really. I j-just need a minute.”
Tim shook his head. “It’s not a problem, really. I’ll just tell the others you weren’t feeling well.”
“No,” she said angrily. “I’m not sick, I’m just . . . sad.”
Again, she broke down in sobs, her body heaving with every breath.
“Of course you are.”
He sighed and looked around.
“Tell you what. If you don’t want to go home right now, that’s fine. We’re having class time this afternoon, though, and it’s all going to be stuff you’ve had before. Why don’t you go to my office and take a few minutes to pull yourself together, then go out on the floor until lunch break? After that, you can either walk home or I’ll take you.”
“I don’t know,” she said. “Maybe.”
“Come on,” Tim said, smiling. “The others already know you’re ahead of them on classwork. They’ll be glad you’re not there to wreck the curve—for once.”
Emily forced a smile even as the tears continued to flow.
“That sounds good,” she said. “Thanks.”
* * *
The house was quiet when Emily got home. She unlocked the front door, then turned and waved to Tim before stepping inside. She’d be heading over to Sam’s in a little while to check on Bear, but first she needed a few minutes to think. While she was out on the floor that morning, she’d heard one of the workers repeat a phrase her father used to tell her whenever she’d get discouraged—a bit of nonsense from Yogi Berra that had never failed to lighten her mood. Hearing it again, especially under the circumstances, had given her an eerie feeling. It was almost as if her dad were trying to tell her something.
It ain’t over till it’s over.
Hearing those words, Emily had suddenly realized that none of the things she’d been worried about was over yet. Marilyn and her baby were still alive, and so was Uncle Danny. And though she and Carter might be engaged, they were still a long way from being married. Until the day she said I do, Emily had every right to change her mind.
It wasn’t over till it was over.
Seen in the light of that phrase, the world no longer seemed so bleak. She wasn’t the girl who’d hidden in the shadows while a policeman delivered the news that would send her life spinning out of control. Things in the past could not be changed, but the future wasn’t written yet. Emily was a grown woman now, with power over her life and its direction, if only she’d accept it. No matter what happened from here on out, she told herself, she would not give in to despair. Marilyn was right: there was no sense suffering twice over the same misfortune.
Once she recognized the options still open to her, Emily had decided to talk to Sam. Not about her engagement—since, for the moment, at least, she considered it on hold—but about the two of them. When she’d searched her own feelings, she realized just how fond she was of Sam and how much he meant to her. The way he listened patiently to her without trying to steer the conversation around to himself; the way she could share her problems with him knowing he wouldn’t simply jump in and try to solve them for her; the way he treated her as if what she thought and felt was every bit as important as his thoughts and feelings—all of that, and more, had won a place for Sam in her heart. The only question was: did she occupy a similar place in his? Until Emily knew the answer to that qu
estion, she wouldn’t know what to do about Carter.
Emily took a quick shower and put on a fresh change of clothes. Even if she’d become accustomed to the smell of the cannery, she knew her hair and clothing still reeked of fish guts and blood. If she was going to talk to Sam about what was on her mind, she needed to maintain her sense of strength and purpose—something she knew would be hard if her clothes stank. When she was ready to go, she put on her rain slicker and grabbed the bag from the pet store that she’d hidden in the closet. Then she locked up the house and headed out to visit Bear.
* * *
The big dog was watching out the window when Emily arrived, a halo of fog framing his anxious face. When he saw her, Bear gave a series of sharp barks that, to her ears at least, sounded like a rebuke. She was late, he was telling her. He’d been worried.
“I know, I know,” Emily said as she opened the door. “I’m sorry, Bear. You’re right. I should have gotten here sooner.”
All was forgiven, though, as she’d known it would be, and Bear’s leaps of joy and sloppy kisses were offered up like champagne on New Year’s Eve. Emily lifted the bag in her hand and gave it a shake.
“I brought you a present, too. Want to see?”
Emily opened the bag, but before she could retrieve its contents, Bear thrust his entire head inside. Emily had to struggle to wrest it away.
“Hold on there, buddy. Give me a second.”
She put her hand into the bag and took out a brush and comb, holding them out for his inspection.
“What do you think?” she said. “Ready to get gorgeous?”
One of the few advantages of being shunned by her roommates had been the amount of alone time it afforded her, and Emily had been determined not to waste it. Since she would be in charge of Bear at least part of every day, she’d decided to learn as much about the Newfoundland breed as possible, and to call it an education was an understatement.
The dogs’ enormous size, sweet disposition, and love of children were not surprising, but their reputation for rescuing people from the water was a revelation. Stories about tens and even hundreds of people being pulled from shipwrecks by Newfoundland dogs—even those with no training in water retrieval—were fairly common. She could see why Sam had wanted to have his dog along at work; he and his crew had actually been safer with Bear onboard.
Among the dogs’ many wonderful traits, however, was a potential problem that Emily thought she might be able to help with. Newfies, as they were affectionately called, had thick double coats that insulated their bodies and kept them warm in the harsh winter months. When the weather was warm, though—as it was then—that same double coat quickly became a burden, threatening them with heat-related complications. With summer already underway, Emily figured that Bear might just appreciate having both the weight and the heat of his thick, insulating coat thinned out a little. As the dog sniffed his new grooming implements warily, she grinned.
“Just think of this as a spa day.”
It took a while to convince Bear that the brush and comb were not, in fact, toys for him to play with, but after a brief game of keep-away and a tug-of-war that left some impressive tooth marks in the brush’s handle, Bear decided that being groomed while taking a nap was a perfectly acceptable way to spend the afternoon. When Emily had finished brushing out the fur on his left side, he’d rolled onto his right without even seeming to wake. As the pile of discarded fur grew, Bear’s coat became darker and glossier. Emily smiled. She hoped Sam would be pleased.
Sam.
A smile played on her lips as she contemplated what a future with him might be like. Emily already knew what her future held if she married Carter, because it wouldn’t be all that different from the way their parents had lived: a beautiful home near the beach, nice cars, dinners out, a maid and possibly a cook, plus a nanny once their children were born. Whether she worked or not would be up to her, of course, but Carter’s work commitments would determine how much she did outside the home and when. Because he was a doctor, their friends would be other doctors, with whom they’d attend medical society functions, charity balls, and cocktail parties with drug company reps. All things considered, it wouldn’t be a bad life, Emily thought, but was it what she wanted?
On the other hand, life with Sam would be less secure, at least as far as money went. His house was good-sized, but it was older, and even with extensive remodeling it would never be the sort of palatial house the Trescotts owned. But the place was homey, and Emily liked the fact that all of the rooms were functional, too, none of them set aside merely to make an impression. She could still remember the shock she’d felt when Carter told her that the couches in their main living room had never been sat upon, nor were they intended to be. Instead, he told her, they were there merely “to show others,” whoever they were. She’d never have told him, but the lavishly appointed space had struck Emily as almost criminally wasteful.
None of that, of course, was an indictment of Carter himself nor of the values he held. People didn’t go into medicine because it was an easy way to make money, after all, and he’d proved his concern for other people many times over the years. But she also knew that he took for granted the advantages he’d been given in a way that Emily never had. She and her mother might be better off than most people, but their finances were much more precarious than either their neighborhood or her mother’s spending habits might suggest. Emily’s father had been a good provider, but since his death, the family’s day-to-day circumstances had been uncertain.
She heard a car drive up and the sound of the garage door opening—Sam was home early! Bear reared up and started for the kitchen, a patch of discarded fur waving from his tail like a flag. Emily’s heart raced as she gathered up the excess fur and stuffed it into the pet store bag. This was her chance, she thought. She knew now which future her heart had decided on. She could only hope that Sam wanted it, too.
CHAPTER 20
Emily knew something was wrong the second Sam walked through the door. His face was drawn, his eyes downcast, his normally pink-cheeked complexion was wan and sallow. When he saw her, he shook his head and looked away. She felt a stab of fear. Had something happened to Marilyn, or was this about the two of them?
“Are you okay?” she said.
He shrugged, absently stroking Bear’s head as he stared out the window.
“Not really.”
Emily took a cautious step closer.
“What happened?” she said. “Is it Marilyn?”
Sam shook his head and took a deep, shuddering breath.
“I lost my job.”
“You lost your—” She frowned. “You mean they fired you?”
He leaned against the counter and hung his head. It looked as if he was literally falling into despair. Emily felt like weeping. She wished there was something she could do to help.
“But why? I don’t under—”
“They wanted me to fire Kallik,” he said. “He’s had some issues in the past—nothing big, but I think Jack had it in for him. When Kallik didn’t show up today—”
“But that was because of Marilyn. Didn’t you tell him that?”
Sam nodded. “It didn’t matter. He was waiting for an opportunity, and he took it.”
Emily clenched her fists. The whole situation just made her blood boil. A man takes a day off to care for his pregnant wife while she’s in the hospital and he loses his job? He ought to sue those guys.
“So, what happened? You didn’t fire him, did you?”
“Of course not. I told them they’d have to fire both of us if they wanted him gone. They said that was fine and they let me go.”
“Oh, Sam. I’m so sorry.”
He turned and looked at her.
“Doesn’t matter. I was sick of those guys.”
“They’ll change their minds,” she said. “I mean, they don’t even know how to run the ship, right? Isn’t that what you said?”
“They don’t need to,” he told her.
“They found another captain.”
Sam leaned his back against the cabinets and ran his hands through his hair, laughing ruefully.
“I hired Bob Crenshaw to take Kallik’s place today. I’d heard he was having a hard time since he retired and thought I’d do the guy a favor. Instead, he tells my bosses I’ve been letting things slide and then gives them the name of a buddy of his who can take my place. Bingo. Kallik and I are out and Bob and his buddy are in.”
The unfairness of the whole situation hit Emily like a weight. Sam had been trying to do a good turn and been stabbed in the back. She felt like punching that other guy.
“What are you going to do?”
“I wasn’t worried about myself. I could miss the entire season if I had to,” he said. “But Kallik was in a panic when I told him. Without a job, he can’t pay for his medical insurance.”
“And with the baby on the way, he can’t afford to lose that.” Emily nodded. “So, what’s he going to do?”
Sam looked at her.
“He got another job.”
“Already? That’s great!” She hesitated. “Isn’t it?”
He looked away.
“It’s on Ray Hollander’s ship.”
Emily frowned. “Wait a minute. Isn’t that the one that just lost a crewman?”
“One and the same.”
“But that was just an accident. I mean, accidents happen, right? That’s what you said.”
Sam took a deep breath.
“On most ships, yes. On the Skippy Lou, I’m not so sure.”
Emily put a hand over her mouth. No wonder Sam was so stricken. Not only had Kallik been fired without good cause, but in his eagerness to find employment, he’d signed on to a ship with a dangerous captain. Her mind immediately flew to Marilyn. In her condition, how would she take the news?
“Wasn’t there any way you could talk him out of it?”
“Nope. The guy needs the money—I knew that—so, I did what I had to do.” He looked at her. “I hope you understand.”
He’d given Kallik the money. Sam knew his friend was hurting, and he’d parted with some of what he needed to buy his own ship. Emily smiled and nodded. Of course she understood. It was a kind and generous thing to do.