Suppressed

by Kira Saito

  “Oui! I can’t stand you!” He gave me another smack with his baton.

  That was harsh. I knew I wasn’t everyone’s cup of café au lait but I wasn’t that terrible.

  “Did you bother bringing me a sacrifice of sheep that is crisp and burnt to ashes? Or did you come empty handed?” he asked, as he poked my stomach with his baton and clutched a fist full of my hair with his thin crooked fingers.

  “I…” I surveyed the forest and hoped that a sheep would randomly stumble by us.

  “I knew it!” he screamed, as he violently released my hair.

  My body trembled in fear, but I couldn’t hold my tongue any longer. “What’s wrong with you?” I asked. “Why are you so incredibly violent and bitter?” I rubbed my sore knee and belly simultaneously.

  He danced around a burning bush, chugged some rum and spit it out on the fire. “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me? There is nothing wrong with me. The question is what’s wrong with you?” He got down on his one knee and looked me square in the eyes. “There is nothing wrong with me. I’m a hero. That’s what I am! I’m a loa of revolution and secrecy. I’m one of the few loas who in 1804 assured Haiti that it would gain its independence. I come from this very soil and I can trace my roots back to the Kongo and Dahomey. I am proud and brave and no slave trader or oppressor ever stood a chance against me!” he declared proudly.

  Wait a second. I was in Haiti? Haiti? What was I doing in Haiti? What year was this exactly?

  “Haiti?” I asked.

  “Oui!”

  Though sorely tempted, I wasn’t going to waste any time asking him details as to why I was there. I needed to find Sabrina before something horrible happened to her. After that, I would find a way to help the tongueless group. And then defeat Emilie and give Edmond a piece of my mind. Damn. My to-do list was increasing by the second. “I didn’t mean to offend you brave Ti Jean. I’m sure you’ve done more for your people than I could ever imagine doing for anyone. That’s why I need your help. I need your help to be brave and fearless. I need to find my best friend and I need to defeat someone who I know has no problem hurting others.”

  Ti Jean grabbed a coconut and split it open. At that second, the fresh water that leaked from the fruit was the most beautiful sight that I’d ever seen. I watched in envy as he poured the water into his twisted little mouth.

  “Please,” I whispered. “I don’t have a sheep to offer you, but there must be something else you like. Whatever it is, I’ll try to find it for you.”

  “Baaahaaaaa,” he said, as he threw aside the coconut and slurped some spicy rum from his boutielle Ti Jean. “Baaahaaaa,” he said again, as he danced in front of me.

  “I don’t really get what you’re trying to say.” Why the heck was he acting like a sheep? I attempted to rise, but was beaten down by his baton.

  “You can be my sheep. Oui, that’s it! You can be my sheep!”

  I looked with uncertainty at the flames that blazed around us. Was he going to throw me into the fire? “I doubt I’ll be of much use if you throw me into the fire and burn me to a crisp,” I reasoned.

  “Baaahhaaaaa,” he said again. “I’m not going to throw you into the fire, my little sheep. I only ask for your silence. Baaahhaaaaa!”

  “How does that make me a sheep?” I scratched my head as I tried to make sense of what he was saying.

  He pried open my mouth with his dry little hands and grabbed a hold of my tongue. “You’ve seen a lot, haven’t you, Cecile, I mean, Arelia. All I ask, is that you don’t tell anyone what you’ve seen, that’s all. I want your silence. When you go back to your side, you’ll tell everyone that you simply don’t remember. You don’t remember what you saw. You certainly won’t tell them you’re Cecile. You won’t tell them about Emilie or Edmond. You’ll pretend that nothing happened. You’ll be Arelia. Simply, Arelia.” He laughed and let go of my tongue taking delight in my discomfort. “And remember, silence means silence. Not half silence. Not partial silence. Complete silence. Do we have a deal?” he asked. “Ti Jean only works with Kings and Queens he can trust! I don’t waste my time on those with loose tongues and an inability to keep private matters private.”

  “But why…? Why do you care who I tell? Why do you care if I tell anyone about Emilie? Why do you want me to hide the fact that I’m Cecile? Wait a second. You’re on her side, aren’t you?” I stood up. No amount of pain was going to keep me on my knees. It all made sense now. He was on her side. My paranoia was kicking in, who could I really trust? Who was under Emilie’s control? Why? How?

  Ti Jean laughed wildly. “Side…? Side…? Are you trying to give Ti Jean human attributes? The only side I’m on is the side of REVOLUTION. I care nothing about what you petty humans do! I only care about what is just. I’m on the side of the righteous and just. True righteousness is something you humans will never completely understand!”

  Once again, I was being schooled by a spirit on how I’d never measure up to his standards. “Then why do you want my silence?” I asked, as I thought back to the tongueless group and their fear. What had they been trying to tell me? “If you don’t care about what we petty humans do, then why do you want our silence? Are you responsible for the tongueless group?” It suddenly made sense. The group was afraid of Ti Jean. Why had he stolen their tongues? “You’re the one who did that to them, aren’t you?”

  “Ha ha ha ha ha!” he laughed. “You’ve got the wrong interpretation mixed up with vain imagination. Erase your fantasy! Erase your vain fantasy of what you think you know!” he screamed, as he leapt on top of a flame. “Do we have a deal or do we not? I’ve wasted enough time on you and your silly little antics.”

  “Arelia, where are you?” Sabrina’s distressed voice came from the coconuts again and my stomach twisted in a thousand little knots.

  “For how long…?” I asked. “How long do you want me to hide the fact that I’m Cecile? I’ve lived my whole life never truly understanding who I was until now and I can’t go back to living a lie. I just can’t.” Maybe that was selfish of me, but, I was beginning to realize that I did deserve to be happy. Everyone deserved a piece of happiness because Dieu knows life was full of enough grief to go without any. When was it my turn to be happy? Was it wrong of me to actually believe that maybe I deserved to be happy?

  Ti Jean abruptly cut off my meandering selfish thoughts. “As long as I see fit,” he replied. “As long as I want and as long as it takes for me to gain your trust. This is my world and you’ll play by my rules. You have exactly five seconds before I take back my generous offer. And believe me when I say that I am making you a very, very, very, generous offer. There are things you need to see. There are things you need to know.”

  Trust… Whatever he had in plan for me was irrelevant at this moment. Time wasn’t on my side. “Okay. I promise. I won’t tell anyone. I won’t tell anyone that I’m Cecile or what I saw. I won’t tell anyone that Emilie and Edmond are behind the curse. I’ll keep it all in and won’t tell a soul.” As I said those words out loud, I felt defeated. As hard as I knew it was going to be, I was looking forward to telling Lucus that I was Cecile. I had even been looking forward to telling Louis all that I knew, as much as I knew it would upset him, it was the right thing to do. For the first time in a long time, I had felt like it was okay sharing what I felt inside, instead of keeping it all locked in, but now I was back to square one.

  “Are you sure?” he asked. “I’m not going to steal your voice. Oh no, I only ask for your faith and your trust. You’ll be able to tell whoever you want about what happened, but the question is, will you? Do you have faith, Arelia?” he asked, as he prodded my stomach with his baton?

  “Yes.”

  “What? I can’t hear you! I asked if you had faith. Do you have faith?”

  “OUI!!!!” For some reason the “yes” came out in French.

  “The weak MUST GET STRONG! You must make the WEAK strong. HELP the WEAK get STRONG! When the weak realize their own strength
, then and only then can real change and REVOLUTION begin! That is all I ask of you! The WEAK MUST GET STRONG! You must build up the weak and help them realize their own strength. The weak are the key!” he exclaimed with pride. The fire in his eyes and conviction in his voice made it clear why he was the loa of revolution.

  How exactly was I going to carry out this request and who were the weak? I had no clue. None whatsoever, but that wasn’t going to discourage me. “I agree. The weak must get strong, but who are these weak, we’re talking about, and where can I find them? And what kind of revolution are we starting?” I asked.

  “You’ll see. You’ll see when the time is right.”

  Of course I would. If I had learned one thing it was that everything had its own time, and season. Things just didn’t happen without rhyme or reason like most people thought they did. Ghede Nibo had sent me here for a reason and I would have patience until that specific reason was revealed. “I will see when the time is right,” I agreed. Regardless of this knowledge, I couldn’t help but quiver at the word ‘revolution’.

  “Excellent!” Ti Jean leapt off of the fire and landed before my feet. Using his baton, he smacked my knees again and I tumbled to the ground. “This will only hurt a tiny bit,” he said, as he reached for a flame. A tiny spark of fire danced between his fingertips. He opened my mouth again and set my tongue on fire. “This is to make it all official, of course. All will be revealed when the time is right, little one. Revolution needs secrecy. You need protection. I can only protect you if I can trust you.” His voice softened and for a second he sounded like a kind and fatherly spirit, rather than one which was twisted and demented. “Have no fear; I’ll be right there by your side.”

  I tried to scream, but the words wouldn’t come out. Frantically, I reached for a coconut and tried to crack it open, hoping that I could use the water to put out the flame. However, before I had a chance to crack open the fruit, heavy grogginess came over me.

  I felt Ti Jean smash a coconut over my head. The forest started to spin and the red flames merged with the green trees, making it appear as if I were in some demented Christmas themed nightmare. Sweat and blood gushed put of my pores and I felt my eyelids getting heavy. My eyes shut and I saw the tongueless plump woman’s face pleading with me, warning me to be careful. I nodded, hoping that she would understand that I meant to come back for her and the silent group.

  Chapter Five

  Ghede Linto

  Somewhere on the Other side

  Present Day

  My eyes opened. I was welcomed by a striking full moon that hung high and proud over a long row of cypress trees. They swayed majestically into the foggy night air, which was hot and humid, but a welcome relief from the fierce sunlight of the Haitian forest. I glanced up at the low hanging stars and took in a whiff of jasmine and honeysuckle. I could hear the sweet lull of swamp animals as they hummed a night sonata. It smelled and sounded like home. I caught myself smiling at the idea that I now considered Darkwood to be my home.

  Wait a second. What was I doing at Darkwood? Was this Darkwood? Remembering what had just happened; I quickly reached for my tongue and was relieved to find that it was fully in place and intact. “Hello,” I cried out, testing to see if I still had a voice. I was overjoyed at the sound of my own voice. But where was Sabrina? An uneasy silence greeted me. In the distance I heard the low rumble of thunder.

  “Sabrina?” I yelled into the darkness, hoping to find her before the rain began.

  “Arelia. Arelia.” A sweet childlike voice that sounded nothing like Sabrina rustled through the Spanish moss.

  “Hello?” I cried out cautiously. “Have you seen, Sabrina?” Given the fact she mentioned she was surrounded by darkness and graves, I assumed that she was in the cemetery again. How long had I been gone and what the hell was going on?

  “Arelia. Arelia.” The soft voice was strangely haunting and hypnotic. Overhead, a brilliant streak of lightning flashed into the night sky and the stars turned deep purple. I was wise enough to know that purple represented the crazy Ghede clan. However, this voice wasn’t coming from the cemetery; it was coming from the direction of the swamp.

  “Hello!” I called again. “Who’s there? Where are you? Have you seen my friend? She’s blond, insanely pretty, but has major insecurity issues. I’m pretty sure she’s being held hostage by a vengeful ghost.” I ran towards the voice. The fog grew thicker and the moss denser. Twisted clumps of white oleander blooms glowed under the moonlight and acted as my flashlight as I wandered further into the darkness.

  “I’m tired of working.” The sweet voice sang in a depressingly melancholy tone:

  Brav Gede alovi e

  M'pat vin isi pou'm ret a moun o

  Fouye twou a se mwen, antere a se mwen (bis)

  Mwen pat vin isi pou'm ret ak moun o

  Brav Gede Alovi eh

  I didn't come here to be anyone's servant

  Digging the hole; it's me. Burying; it's me (bis)

  I didn't come here to be anyone's servant.

  “Where are you? Who are you?” I asked determined not to cry, but the voice was so pitifully tragic, I couldn’t help it. I felt foolish as I wiped away a fat tear drop off of my sweaty cheek. When had I become so sentimental?

  “Sometimes I have to work too hard, so I come here to get away from it all. Spirits get tired too, you know. When I was alive, I thought that all of my sorrows would be over once I became a spirit, but it didn’t work out that way for me. Not everything works out for the best, Arelia. Do you know that sometimes a lot of bad things happen to really good people? When I was alive, I thought only humans suffered, but boy was I wrong.”

  I snorted while simultaneously crying. “Yes, I know.” I couldn’t tell this spirit all that I had been through, even if I wanted to. “Where are you?” I asked. “I’m in a hurry to find my friend, but I can keep you company for a few minutes, maybe that’ll make you feel better.”

  “It’s okay, Arelia. You don’t have to pity me. I don’t need your pity.”

  “How do you know my name?” I asked, as I swatted away a throng of mosquitoes and wiped away the thin layer of grimy sweat on my forehead.

  “You’re famous. All the loa know your story. Some of them love you and some of them hate you. While others pretend they simply don’t care.”

  “And what do you think about me?” I asked, as I approached the swamp.

  “I’m afraid for you, Arelia. So afraid. He’s not a very good person. I’m afraid of him.”

  “Him?”

  “Yes… him. She thinks she’s in charge, but all of us spirits know it’s really him who’s running the show. I don’t agree with his plans, but I have to do what I’m told. I have no choice. I wasn’t very powerful in life and now I’m not very powerful in death. I wish I was as powerful as those spirits who are against him. Those who aren’t afraid to stand up for what’s right. That’s not me. Oh no, I’m weak. So weak…” The voice began to sing again:

  Brav Gede Alovi eh

  I didn't come here to be anyone's servant

  Digging the hole; it's me. Burying; it's me (bi's)

  I didn't come here to be anyone's servant.

  Something told me the spirit was talking about Edmond and Emilie. I silently cursed Ti Jean and his stupid clause. “Who?” I asked innocently.

  “Arelia, when you’re afraid of someone or something you generally don’t go around gossiping about them. I don’t even want to think about what he would do if he found out I was even talking about him and with you out of all people! Anyway, I’ve been waiting for you.”

  “You have?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “You’ll see.”

  I let out a small sigh. Honestly, I wasn’t up for any more surprises. “I’m here!” I shouted, as my feet touched the mushy earth below and the familiar scent of swamp decay hit me. The trees were tall and ethereal as they meandered in the wind. Their long limbs tugged on my filthy clothes
and hair as I navigated through them. “Where are you?” I asked, as I searched the swamp for signs of this strange and melancholy spirit.

  I blinked a couple of times until my eyes adjusted to the darkness of the swamp. In the distance, at the very edge of the murky water, I saw a tragic little figure dressed in tattered black shorts and a violet dress shirt with several holes in it. On his tiny head he wore a ratty old black top hat with tufts of straight black hair peeping out from under it. Under the clear moonlight, his large eyes were round and luminous while his face was translucent and almost skeletal in appearance. His thin lips formed a heartbreaking frown that pretty much told his whole life story. He looked like a much thinner version of Oliver Twist or Charlie from Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. However, instead of holding chocolate in his bony right hand, he clutched a bottle of Piman rum infused with twenty-one hot peppers. He couldn’t have been much older than seven, so the sight of him holding a bottle of rum was a little shocking.

  Without thinking I snatched the bottle out of his hand. “You’re not old enough to drink!”

  He let out a laugh. It was clear and high like a chime. “I’m much older than you, Arelia,” he said, as he took his bottle back and took a swig from it. “Do you even know my name?” he asked half-heartedly. “No one really seems to remember my name. I don’t blame them. Why should they? My own family never did. You’re just here because you’re desperate to find your friend. Everyone has a hidden agenda. Pathetic, isn’t it?”

  I was desperate to find Sabrina, but I was also genuinely worried for this sad little spirit. I examined him for a few seconds before it clicked. “Ghede Linto. Of course, I know your name.”

  Ghede Linto was the youngest member of the crazy Ghede clan. He was the protector and representative of the lost children among the dead. Lost children among the dead included those children who had been aborted, miscarried, stillborn, neglected, or abused until they died. Judging by his appearance, Ghede Linto must have had it really rough as a human child. “I’m sorry.” It was the only thing I could think of saying. What else was I supposed to say? “I know you must have had a really rough life and I’m not here to make any excuses for what you must have gone through,” I said softly, as I inched towards him and took the bottle out of his hand again. I took a big gulp from it and immediately regretted it. It was so damn spicy that I swore I was about to pass out.