“What does she have that I don’t?”
“This is ridiculous.” He shook his head, and turned to walk away. “The conversation’s over.”
But Isabella wasn’t finished yet. She caught his elbow and pulled him back. “Why don’t you answer the question?” Ian reconsidered pulling away again. Her eyes seemed to be pleading with him, begging him to tell her what he was absolutely certain she wouldn’t want to hear. But if it would end the discussion and allow him to get on with the night, so be it.
“My heart.” He stated it calmly, unwaveringly. As though it was the only thing in the world he was certain of. “She has my heart.”
“What are you doing here?” If Reagan could’ve breathed fire and turned him completely to ash, in that moment, she absolutely would have. There was no one, no one, she wanted to bump into less than her ex-boyfriend. And while sure, the breakup had been more of a blow to her ego than her heart, it’d still been a brutal and unnecessary play on her insecurities.
“Hi there.” It was clear by the hesitant smile he offered that he was going to try to draw this out. That he wasn’t going away any time soon. A sigh of disgust escaped from her lungs, she couldn’t have stopped it even if she’d wanted to. And truth be told, she hadn’t really wanted to.
“You aren’t welcomed here.” Reagan had crossed her hands over her chest to solidify the statement.
“Yeah.” He nodded his head sheepishly. “I sort of got that memo already.”
“So leave then. What are you hanging around for?”
Instead of waiting for him to act on her demand, Reagan herself turned to walk away. To get as far away from him as physically possible given the confines of her space. She wanted to disappear into the crowd, forget about him and the week she’d had. In fact, she wanted to forget everything except the end result: She’d discovered she was in love with Ian, and there was much more to their friendship than she’d ever realized.
But Justin grabbed her wrist to stop her. “Wait a minute.”
Twisting her arm until she was free again, she spun around and stalked toward him, forcing him to back up or suffer her obvious fury. “Don’t you ever, ever touch me again. That’s the last warning you’ll get.” The finger she pointed into his chest was sharp and emphatic.
“Don’t be like that. Can we just talk for a minute?”
“I have nothing to say to you that I haven’t already said.”
“Yeah, you’ve made that clear all week. But I have something I want to say to you.” He was straitening his stance now, and the expression around his eyes had softened just enough to make Reagan curious.
“You have five seconds.” She stated after several minutes of contemplation. Then she crossed her arms again and glared. “I’m timing you.”
“I want to get back together.”
Reagan’s jaw instantly fell open. “Have you completely lost your mind?” She certainly hadn’t seen that one coming. A ‘let’s move past this’ speech, ‘can we be friends’ moment...maybe even an apology. But this?
“Yeah. I think we should just forget that whole…spring break thing and get back together. We were good together, right?”
Reagan couldn’t believe what she was hearing. So what, suddenly it didn’t work out with the boyfriend stealing slut and he thinks he can come running back? Frankly, even the suggestion was more than insulting. Not only had he still not properly apologized for the “spring break thing” yet, but he actually expected her to just get over it and move forward and forget it ever happened. Clearly, he didn’t know her as well as he thought he did. That wasn’t how this was going to work, especially since she’d already moved on to better things. She couldn’t wait to drop that little bomb on him...
“Let me tell you what I think.” She said as a calm, sly smile spread over her face. “I think you’re a coward, a moron and a pathetic excuse for a boyfriend. I think I was stupid to have dated you to begin with, but I’d be even stupider to give you a second chance. And I think the only reason you’re asking me out now is because you got dumped flat on your face by your little slutty spring fling.”
“Are you finished?” His expression had visibly darkened and he was glaring at her through squinted eyes.
“No.” The word popped out sharply. “I’ve moved on with my life. I’ve met someone way better than you could ever hope to be. And I’m happy with him. So don’t try to mess with that.”
Justin allowed a lengthy pause before inquiring, “Are you finished now?”
“Maybe.”
“You sure have a lot to say for someone who didn’t want to talk to me.”
“You asked for it.” She shrugged.
“Maybe I did.” His expression contorted into a strange sort of grimace that Reagan had never seen before. She’d obviously pushed a button somewhere in her tirade, and maybe more than one. “But you should get your facts straight.”
“What do you mean?”
“She didn’t dump me. I dumped her because she’d been calling your friend Ian behind my back, trying to hook up with him. Or didn’t he bother to tell you that?”
Reagan instinctively straightened her shoulders. “What do you mean? Ian doesn’t know her.”
“Really? You sure about that?” His aggressive step forward forced Reagan to take a step backward. “Isabella met him a couple weeks ago at some bar, and couldn’t stop talking about him. I got tired of it, so I dumped her.”
“Isabella.” The name was a whisper on her quivering lips.
“Yeah, Isabella.”
“Then why’d you bring her here if you dumped her?”
“Because unlike some people,” The look he shot at her made his insinuation clear, “she’s a lot of fun to party with. And I know how to be friends with girls after I’ve slept with them.” Then he nodded toward the side of the room, having caught sight of something from the corner of his eye. “Apparently your boy does too. That’s the second time they’ve been alone together tonight.”
Reagan looked in the general direction that Justin had implied, but she couldn’t see anything. Everything around her was getting swirly and dark, and suddenly, she couldn’t breathe. Her head was swimming with a thousand memories. The phone calls. The voice. The kiss. And suddenly her pulse was racing through her veins.
He was lying, Reagan tried to convince herself. Justin was lying about Ian and Isabella. He had to be, Ian wouldn’t do that to her. Nothing was going on. It was just a pathetic revenge tactic to get back at her. She couldn’t let it work. She couldn’t let him make her feel like this again, like she’d been deceived. Like she’d been discarded for something better.
But despite her best intentions, it was working, and there wasn’t anything she could do to stop the rush of emotions. As her eyes clouded with premature tears, she turned from Justin and began searching through the crowds. She had to hear it from someone she trusted. Someone who had no reason to lie to her. And she needed to find Ian. Now.
CHAPTER TWENTY
“Ouch.” Isabella’s face pursed in displeasure. “That was brutal.”
“Look,” Ian had begun looking around for his exit strategy. “you’re an attractive person, I’m sure you’ll find someone. It’s just not going to be me. Sorry.”
As he turned to walk away, he didn’t see Reagan approaching him in the crowd, the distressed expression covering not only her face, but her entire being at this point. Her energy was raw, her emotions on the brink of exploding, and if she didn’t find something to console her soon, she may just lose it there in the middle of the room.
Ian would never see any of that...but Isabella did.
She saw Reagan tear her way through the masses of people, the corners of her mouth drooping forlornly. Catching the helpless expression in her watery eyes, Isabella smiled wickedly at her, using all the subtlety of a cat about to pounce on its prey.
Trying to ignore her, Reagan turned to her boyfriend. “Ian I need to talk to...” But she’d never be able to finish her
sentence.
Before she could push the last rush of words out from her lips, she watched as Isabella wrapped her arms intimately around Ian’s torso and drew him back to her. She stood frozen, as though everything was suddenly moving in slow motion, while Isabella slid her hands up his chest, tilted his head and drew his face down to hers. She stopped breathing when their lips touched, stopped thinking when the girl slipped her tongue invitingly inside Ian’s mouth, and stopped feeling the moment his hands went to her waist.
The kiss naturally got the attention of the nearby crowd, who’d began eliciting cheers and screams of encouragement. But Reagan heard nothing, other than the sound of her crushed heart beating solidly in her ears. He’d let it happened, and that made him just like every other guy she’d known. Then her heart stopped at the realization - or it might as well have - and Reagan dropped her clutch, the contents spilling all over the floor. She didn’t notice, and even if she’d had she wouldn’t have cared. Her Ian was kissing another girl. And not just any other girl. The same girl who’d stolen her last boyfriend out from under her.
“Reagan come on, I’m about to get my present to myself.” Petra had run up behind her, naive to the chaos that was unfolding. But when she reached her friend, she too fell silent. Looking in the direction of Reagan’s icy gaze, she saw the source of all the commotion around her. “Oh shit.”
Reagan’s heart began beating again. Slowly at first, but it sped up quickly until it was racing so fast she saw stars in front of her eyes. Her stomach did one big flop and she immediately felt sick. It flopped again, and she clutched her middle with trembling fingers. If she didn’t get out of there, and fast, she’d end up hurling all over the floor of the club.
“I’m sorry Petra.” Reagan turned toward her friend, eyes drenched with the threat of tears. “I have to go.”
Speechless, Petra nodded to reassure her friend of her understanding. If it had happened to her, she’d have dealt with the situation by yanking Isabella off her man and pummeling her into the floor. But Reagan wasn’t like that, and was far more sensitive than Petra could ever hope to be. Instead, she watched her friend flee from the scene, then crossed her arms over her chest and waited to see how everything played out.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
More than anything else, Ian had found himself in a state of shock for the first several seconds that he’d discovered his lips attached to someone else. The sheer force she was using to keep her hands wound tightly around his face prevented him from simply backing away, so his hands groped for something, anything, that he could use for leverage to detached himself. They landed on her waist, and the minute he could regain his focus, he pushed her emphatically from his body, keeping her a full arms distance away.
“What the hell was that?” He was wiping his mouth hard with the back of his hand as he spoke, glaring at the cheap lipstick that covered his skin.
“I just...”
“No.” He cut her off, suddenly impatient of any excuse she could offer. “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to be with you, I don’t even want to be friends with you. Don’t call me, don’t text me, don’t email me. If you see me in public, walk in the other direction. I’m with Reagan because I want to be with her. I’m not like the other guys around here.” He’d caught Justin’s eye with his last statement, who’d stepped over to tell Isabella he was leaving, and glared accusingly in his direction.
Smirking with satisfaction, Petra uncrossed her arms and breathed a sigh of relief. “Ian!” As she called to get his attention, all eyes moving in her direction, no one noticed as Isabella and Justin disappeared into the crowd.
“Thank God.” Though he never thought he’d admit it, he was actually thankful to have her around at that moment. “How much did you see?”
“Enough to know you were in a bad situation that wasn’t your fault.” Then she pat him gently on the arm for reassurance. “And you handled it quite well, I might add.”
“And Reagan?”
If the expression in his eyes was any indication, he had at least a small idea of the bad news she was about to reveal.
“Well…” The scrunched up expression her face said it all.
“Petra. Please. Tell me Reagan didn’t see anything that just went on. Tell me has no idea what happened.”
“Why do I always have to be the messenger of bad news?” She was muttering. “She saw. It was too much for her to stick around though. She thought you were really kissing Isabella.” Then she let a little laugh escape, as though she’d known all along what the end result would be. “It just brought back too many memories, you know? This is all too fresh still, especially with her.” She jerked her head in the direction Isabella had been standing.
“Damn it.” He exclaimed, then paused as he quickly reviewed all the consequences that could follow. “Damn it!” The second time was naturally a little louder than the first had been. “This isn’t how tonight was supposed to be. I didn’t even know Isabella was going to be here. I didn’t even want to kiss her. She’s crazy. I’m in love with Reagan.”
“I know. Trust me, I know.” Her hands went up in surrender.
“Do you know where Reagan went?”
Petra shook her head, and the tiara nearly tumbled off. “She just took off. I can only assume she’s going home, but I don’t know how she’s getting there.”
“Thanks.”
It didn’t take Ian long to get back to their building. He’d fled the club, jumped in his Camaro, and ran more than one red light before he’d even thought the entire scenario through. As he lifted a fist to her door, his urgency evident in every little movement, he realized there weren’t any lights on to indicate that she’d even made it home. He knocked – rather he pounded – on the door anyway. When no one answered, it occurred to him that she still didn’t have her car and would likely be walking home. It was actually very possible he’d made it back before she had. Still, he pounded again, hopeful that she’d appear and he’d have the opportunity to explain, to fix everything before any more damage could be done. He couldn’t lose her. Not like this...
No answer.
Finally, he pulled his phone from his pocket and called Reagan’s number. More concerned about her safety than anything else at this point, he thought if he could at least locate her, he could pick her up and have everything resolved before they made it back again. But after four rings, the call went into her voice mail.
“Reagan, it’s Ian.” Sincere urgency and valid concern rushed from his voice. “There’s been a huge misunderstanding. Please let me explain what happened. Call me back and I’ll come get you wherever you are.”
After he ended the call, he paced in the hallway, unable to shake his nervous energy. He tried again several more times, but each time, the call went straight into her voicemail. It wasn’t even ringing any longer. He contemplated getting back in his car and driving around to look for her. But he wouldn’t know where to start. There were too many places to hide on campus, too many places a car couldn’t go. Finally, realizing there was nothing more he could do at the moment, he slumped down to the floor next to her welcome mat, and decided to wait there. She’d have to come home eventually.
On the other side of the door, tucked inside her apartment, Reagan sat crouched on a corner of her sofa in the dark. She’d hitched a ride with another friend who she’d seen leaving at the same time, and had made it home just before the pounding had started at her door. And now a fresh tear rolled down her cheek as the quiet settled outside after Ian’s heavy footsteps had ceased. They’d been comforting somehow, while tormenting at the same time. And she wasn’t entirely sure which one felt worse.
The tear fell from her chin, crashing onto the cell phone she still clutched in both hands. Though she’d turned it to vibrate just barely in time, she’d heard his muffled speech through the door. Still it wasn’t entirely clear what he was trying to say. The second time he’d tried, she watched her phone light up in the dark, his name flashing acr
oss the screen in bright, bold letters. She’d picked it up, so close to answering it, but instead, had shut it off completely. Whatever he had to say didn’t matter anyway, she thought to herself. There was nothing that would make any difference now. Nothing that could wipe that image of him with another girl from her mind. Wrapping her arms around her legs and drawing them close to her chest, phone still in hand, she laid her head on her knees and cried until she fell asleep.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Sunday
Reagan had a rough night. Sleep had come in pieces and was still calling her name, making her more than a little disoriented when she finally opened her eyes for good. She’d never changed out of the dress she’d been wearing the night before, which had the wrinkles and creases now to prove it, and as she rolled her head around to stretch her neck she discovered her muscles were sore from the uncomfortable position she’d fallen into. Tracks of mascara streamed from bloodshot eyes all the way down her cheeks to her chin, and the black was rubbing onto her fingers as she pressed against her puffy skin.
But the sun was up, streaming through the window as though nothing in the world could be wrong. And thanks to all the memories and nightmares that had flooded her mind, Reagan was up now too. She waited for her burning eyes to adjust before she reached for the phone that had fallen from her fingers at some point in the night: 10:00am, 17 missed calls, five voicemails...and someone was pounding on her front door again.
For a split second, her heart stopped at the thought it could be Ian. A mix of dread and hope surged through her body, and she wasn’t sure which was the stronger of the emotions. But then she decided against it as the second knock came to the door. Ian wasn’t the desperate type, she considered, there’d be no reason for him to keep coming back like that. He’d probably go about his day now just like normal, and wait to explain things when he saw her next time, as though it’d been the most casual occurrence in the world for him to be kissing another girl when he’d pledged his love to her.
The Boyfriend List Page 16