by Maree, Kay
My blood pressure was through the roof. I hadn't told anyone about Ollie—not Wyatt, or Jake, or Rory, or my parents. The only way for it to have been leaked was through Louisiana telling someone or directly from the Sheriff's office. Worry weighed in my gut as I thought back over my recent conversation with Sheriff Wilson—about my request to allow Lou special access to her son earlier than the contract stated.
Wilson had been wary and had neither supported nor slammed my request, and now that left me uncertain of how private my request had really been.
“No one brought him up, but Jolene made it very clear that dirty felons like me should never be allowed to breed,” Louisiana angrily air quoted.
I let out an agonized grunt as if the words were a physical blow. “Darlin’, please come here.”
Opening my arms but not moving closer, I literally ached to hold her and assure her that it would all be okay. Instead, she inched away with dejection in her eyes that may as well have been a slap.
“I can’t, Brandon. I just… can’t.”
With a sorrow-filled expression and tears streaming down her cheeks, she looked every part of the broken woman I'd caught snippets of. She'd kept it hidden so well, yet now it was cascading uncontrollably like the highest and most turbulent waterfall.
“You can, sweetheart.” I dropped my hands in defeat, then scrubbed one over my face. “Can I make you a drink?” I didn’t add that I was needing a stiff two fingers of my best moonshine.
Louisiana simply shrugged off my offer and stood in front of the window with her back to me. I didn’t need a clear view of her face to see she was exhausted and overwhelmed—the hunch of her shoulders wordlessly voiced her inner turmoil.
I forced myself not to take another pace toward her. Instead, I murmured a suggestion before quietly closing the door behind me.
“Take a shower, darlin’. A hot chocolate will be waiting for you when you’re ready.”
My hands trembled as I descended the stairs. I felt like I was floating despite the weight in my heart. It was meant to be a fun night out. Instead, it turned into a shit storm that I feared there was no coming back from. My good intentions had created a backlash sharper than the crack of a whip, and the thought of me having lost the chance I thought I had with Louisiana was just as piercing.
~*~
I was two sips into my second glass of moonshine when I heard my name faintly being called inside.
“Outside, darlin’,” I called from the porch swing where I soaked in the tranquility of the spring night.
Louisiana’s footsteps tracked closer, and then the front door pushed open. Her head and shoulders appeared, and in that millisecond I could already see that she was infinitely more relaxed and calm than she had been half an hour ago.
“Can I join you?” she murmured tentatively.
As if I would ever deny her.
Flicking the blanket off half of the swing seat, I waved her over. Gone was the pretty dress and high heels that left a worthwhile dent on my credit card, replaced with sleepwear that was just as alluring. I tried not to gawk at the tendrils of her blond hair falling from the small bundle on top of her head, or salivate from the sweet fragrance of her skin as she settled beside me.
Lou pulled the blanket over her lap, then sat in silence. I eyed her in the moonlight and tried to breathe away the tightness around my lungs.
I was falling for this girl hard. And it wasn’t just the moonshine talking, it was my heart.
She turned and offered me a weak smile, and it made my stomach flip all the same. As if remembering the drink in my hand, I took another small sip then leaned over to pick up the hot chocolate I’d made for her.
“For you.”
Her eyes widened in surprise. “I didn’t think you’d make one…”
I shrugged. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to come down, hence the travel mug to keep it warm. But for what it’s worth, I’m glad you did, sweetheart.”
Louisiana smiled around the lip of the travel mug before taking a sip, letting out a sigh afterward that had me shifting in my seat.
"I like you, Lou. A lot." More than I should, more than I'd realized, and much, much more than I had ever liked anyone else I’d dated.
“I like you too,” she whispered with another small smile.
I shook my head and chuckled bitterly. “I’m not sure that you get it, darlin’. I like you a whole lot more than I should. I don’t know when or how or why—all I know is that you’ve got me feeling things I’ve never felt. I don’t know what that means for the long run, but no matter what happens after your time here comes to an end, I need you to know that I’m fallin’ in love with you, Lou.”
Louisiana’s stare was as wide as a barn owl’s. The words that formed behind her pretty blue eyes slipped from between her lips as nothing more than breathy exhales.
I chuckled and turned my attention back to the clear liquid resting on my thigh. “Close your mouth, darlin’. The moths will fly in. Trust me, the dust on their wings really sticks to the roof of your mou-”
“I’m falling for you too.” Louisiana’s whisper dried my rambling, and it was my turn to stare at her without blinking.
“But I can’t let this go anywhere, Brandon. I’m so sorry, but it’s not just me I need to think about. There’s Ollie and my life with him. And then…” She swallowed thickly while she paused. “...then there’s you with your life out here.”
Fuck, I didn’t think my chest could burn so much. It wasn’t what she said, it was how she said it; true sorrow splintered her voice as if she was holding back more tears.
I took a deep breath, the biggest I’d taken all day. “What if we tried? Out here, us all together…”
Louisiana scoffed. “You haven’t even met him yet.”
I made sure my gaze didn’t so much as contemplate shifting from hers. “What if I want to?”
"Brandon…" She blinked hard.
My hand rose to cup the back of her neck. When she didn’t resist, I guided her closer. Her warm, chocolatey breath fanned over my mouth and had my tongue begging to get a taste of what I craved.
“You set the pace, darlin’, and I’ll match it. I’m a patient man.”
Louisiana's inhale hitched and her eyes dropped to my mouth. I felt her body trembling under my touch. I could relate to that response—she made my body hum in the same way, and I was surprised she hadn't called me out on it already.
“I can’t believe I’m gonna say this,” she murmured, “but it’s gotta be slow. I gotta know I’m doing the right thing.”
I began to put a little distance between us until she fisted my shirt. “I know I said slow, but you owe me a kiss, Brandon.”
“I don’t know that I do. I mean, I did kiss you already tonight…”
A growl left Louisiana's mouth before she tugged roughly on my shirt. Our lips crashed together with a ferocity that put me off balance more than just physically.
All the other times I had kissed her, we’d started slow and coaxed the fire to life from nothing more than sparking embers. This time we collided with the heat of an out-of-control wildfire.
Our drinks instantly became forgotten, as did the night around us. When I felt her hold ease, I lifted Louisiana by the hips and settled her on my lap.
Fingers wove through my hair and tightened as her tongue moved against mine in a frenzy that drove me crazy. I roamed my hands between her sleep pants and top, unable to hold back a groan. The smooth expanse of skin teased me, begging me to trace higher. Louisiana pulled her lips from mine and tilted her head back with a gasp.
“Christ, darlin’,” I growled and felt myself hardening between us. “It pains me to say this, but you need to pump the brakes a little. If it were up to me, I’d have you upstairs already-”
I cut off with another groan when her lips came back down on mine and imploded my hunger all over again. Cupping her breasts, I all but sobbed when I realized she
wasn’t wearing a bra. She was making it much too hard to take things slow… It was sheer fucking agony.
“I don’t think I can stop,” she breathed.
All alcohol left my system, leaving behind a clarity so sharp I faltered. I hadn’t realized how much I wanted to hear Louisiana say those words. Gripping her ass with both hands, I matched the fervor of her kiss while pulling her hard against my erection and grinding upwards.
“You’re gonna have to spell it out for me, sweetheart, because I’m in a complicated position and I need you to be calling the shots this time around.”
“This time, huh?” Lou panted. “You’ve already made up your mind, you’re just wanting me to give you the green light.”
The devilish glint in her eyes had me humming an approval into the soft skin of her neck. A single nip was all it took for the first plead to pass her lips, nothing more than a whisper.
“More.”
Setting my hand on the back of her neck, I secured her to my body then rose, ignoring the falling blanket and drinks I kicked over in the process.
“Say it,” I growled, frozen mid-step and ready to carry her inside.
“Take me to bed, cowboy.”
“Good enough for me.”
I rushed forward and fumbled with the door. Louisiana’s laugh was loud in my ear, and it was the best damn song I’d ever heard. I thought I’d lost her tonight and wasn’t taking my chances again.
Never had I thought I had too many stairs until now, and thank fuck Jake was out of town because the amount of cussing, laughing, and pausing to make out against the wall would have roused his suspicions.
As it was, I hardly took a breath between tossing Louisiana on my bed and stripping out of my clothes. After helping her with hers, I found myself positioned over her body with my dick resting against her heat.
“Protection,” she gasped.
With a cuss, I rolled off her and dug through my bedside drawer with more desperation than I was proud of. Because, Christ, I was borderline frantic to have her after weeks of trying to ignore the salacity between us.
Nudging her knees higher, I resettled between them and looked down at the most beautiful woman I’d ever met.
“Hey,” I breathed, finding myself locked in a momentary lull of surreal calm where Louisiana stared up at me as if I’d hung the moon and stars just for her.
“Hey,” she breathed back, her eyelids still heavy with need.
“Ready?”
She nibbled her lip. “It’s been a while okay.”
I nodded and began easing into her, watching her reaction closely for winces of pain. A groan rumbled deep in my throat as I filled her and thrust gently a few times. Drawing back out then gripping her thigh, I tugged it higher over my hip as I slid back in. As a drawn-out moan wove from Louisiana's mouth, the squeeze around my dick intensified.
“Fuck, you doin’ that on purpose?” I growled through clenched teeth, barely keeping my shit together.
“I told you it had been a while,” Louisiana half-breathed, half-moaned.
I couldn’t believe how responsive she was, and it sent my arousal through the goddamn roof.
Pushed up on extended arms, I watched her writhe and arch with my movements. Her heart-shaped, perfect lips parted and each pant spurred me on.
I groaned as her body squeezed around me, each ripple of pleasure stronger than the last. The room blurred until Louisiana was all I could see, feel, hear, smell, and taste. She consumed me and brought me to my knees harder than I thought I could ever fall. My need spiked when her nails frantically clawed at my skin, leaving behind burning trails that fueled the fire in my belly. I grit my teeth and fucked harder when breathy words began to tumble from her parted lips. Fuck. Yes. Brandon. Oh God.
Time stood still. She arched and squeezed her eyes closed, coming around me with a burst that left me seeing stars. Ripples and spasms shocked over my erection until there was no way I could hold off any longer.
Louisiana cried out when I locked her in place and thrust hard the last few times before coming so hard everything felt like an out-of-body experience. The room filled with our labored pants and residual groans as we both rode the remainder of the highest highs.
Louisiana's fingers now gently grazed over my shoulders, leaving rivers of goosebumps behind.
“Christ that was over too damn fast. I wasn’t prepared for that.” I puffed a laugh and smoothed my hands up her body in regret that I hadn’t taken my time.
“Holy fuck, I wasn’t expecting that,” Louisiana breathed then stretched under me in the most luxurious way. “Can we do it again?”
My gaze cut to find her blue eyes wide and intense. And the hell I was going to say no. I snorted and smirked down at her. “As if you have to ask, darlin’. I plan on making a complete pig of myself.”
I discarded the condom haphazardly on the floorboards beside the bed because at that moment I had much more pressing matters to attend to; like tasting the skin on Louisiana's neck for starters.
~*~
“Hey, boss?” Jake knocked, then pushed my bedroom door open without waiting for a reply. “Shit,” he hissed and froze as if I’d cast a spell on him.
The only thing that moved was his eyes; they flared wide and flicked between me, Louisiana, and the floor where the evidence of our sexcapade lay forgotten about.
“What the fuck do you want, man?” I snapped. He was never back from Helena this early on a Sunday morning off!
He thumbed over his shoulder and didn’t so much as attempt to hide his amused snigger. “The Sheriff’s here. Seriously, I leave yas alone for one night, and-”
“Get out!” I roared.
Jake threw his head back and laughed as he did as I demanded, but the closed door did nothing to block out his laughter.
I began to untangle myself from Louisiana’s limbs, then froze when Jake’s laughter came back.
“Want me to stall ‘em?”
“Yes, damnit, Jake. Stall him!”
While muttering under my breath and pulling on the first item of clothing I found on the floor, Louisiana began giggling.
“What’s funny, darlin’?” I asked, focusing on the zipper and button on my jeans.
Her laugh turned into a little snort. “Nothing. Just happy.”
Now that made my heart miss a beat; the feeling was very much mutual.
Edging toward the window, I cracked the curtain enough to snag a peek at the sheriff—just to make sure Jake wasn’t messing with me. All elation congealed and plummeted to the pit of my stomach.
“Uh, Lou. You need to get up. Like, NOW!”
I heard her gasp. I hadn’t meant to say it so harshly, however, I was panicking in a big way; Wilson had come through for me, but it was fucking bad timing.
Louisiana
Brandon’s tone sliced through the peace in my body and had me bolting upright in his bed. I ignored the satisfying pangs of pain coming from between my legs and wrapped the cover around me as I stood.
“What’s wrong?”
He turned from the window wearing a pale expression that instantly made me feel sick.
“What is it?” I demanded and flew forward.
Despite Brandon trying to shield me from looking through the gap in the curtains, I caught a glimpse of the scene in the yard, and my heart painfully splintered.
Brandon instantly became forgotten to me as I sprinted into my room and pulled on a fresh set of clothes. I didn’t bother with my hair, or brushing my teeth, or even using the bathroom first. The house blurred as I ran down the stairs with Brandon hot on my heels, saying words that I couldn’t hear, let alone comprehend.
As soon as I punched through the front door and all but somersaulted down the porch steps, I shoved past Jake, the Sheriff, and one other woman, then fell to my knees in front of my son.
“Mama!” he cried and threw himself at me.
Excruciating sobs tore the linin
g of my throat. They may as well have sliced their way out—my heart ached so hard I thought it would stop beating altogether. My cries came harder as my Ollie squeezed my neck so hard I didn’t care that I couldn’t breathe. All that mattered was that his precious little fingers wove through my hair as if he couldn’t quite believe what was happening.
I sure as hell couldn’t.
His clothes smelled different, but his skin still held the scent I remembered. He was still my boy, my Ollie, and I physically felt melted simply from holding him in my arms after so many months without contact.
I didn’t care that I was a howling mess on my knees in the yard with four people witnessing me break apart. All I cared about was that I could hold my son, even for the smallest amount of time.
“I missed you, Mommy,” Ollie snuffled into my neck, and I knew that he too was crying.
I could hardly talk around the lump in my throat but was desperate to voice the words frozen on my tongue. “Mommy missed you too, baby. Mommy missed you so, so much!”
I was whole again, yet devastatingly broken beyond repair. I had missed out on so much of my son, and it all came crashing home as I held him as tight as I dared. I feared losing him again, utterly terrified that if I let him go, he would be snatched out from under me all over again.
When my sobs reached near-hysterical levels, a gentle hand landed between my shoulder blades.
“Louisiana,” Brandon said softly. “He’s here for the day, darlin’. You can let him breathe a little.”
His words had the opposite effect; my arms tightened as another sob tore from my downturned mouth.
“Mommy, you’re squishing me,” Ollie groaned and wriggled in my hold.
Reluctantly, I loosened my grip and fought to find a steady voice. “Sorry, my baby. I missed your big boy squeezes.”
Ollie launched into another throat-crushing hug and I welcomed it with my entire soul.
Brandon constantly rubbed circles on my back, then stilled when I held Ollie away to get a good look at him.
He had grown so much, and I marveled at how much his features had subtly changed to resemble a slightly older child than the one I last saw.