by Maree, Kay
Pushing it to the back of my mind.
I race towards the hallway trying to remember which way to go.
Sidestepping all the shit scattered across the floor.
“I got you, baby,” I breathe into the top of her head.
Moving as fast as I can through the dark hallways.
Breathing a sigh of relief as blinding white lights burst through the open doors at the end of the next hallway.
“Just hold on for me, fight, damn it. Lucy don’t give up on me,” I choke out but still she doesn’t respond.
“I need a doctor,” I shout as the nurse from earlier comes racing around the reception desk and begins shouting orders towards another woman.
Pushing through a wide door she shouts over her shoulder at me to bring Lucy in and place her on the bed, leaning down I place a kiss to the top of her head.
“I love you, Lucy Rose Jacobson,” I whisper before the nurse pushes me out of the way.
Moving around the other side of the bed, I grip her cool hand in mine.
Looking down, my heart gallops out of my chest as her blood coats my hand.
“Are you hurt?” someone asks at my side.
“Bullet wound,” I gruff out.
Resting my lips against Lucy’s forehead, hating how cold she is.
“Sarah, make sure to check over Mr Knight,” nurse Bell calls out and before I have a chance to protest I’m pushed out of the room and led to another room by another nurse instructing me to remove my shirt so they can see where the bullet entered.
I do as I’m told as if ticking items off a grocery list I just do as instructed.
Remove shirt.
Lean forward.
And try to breathe.
“In. Out. In. Out,” the nurse keeps repeating, trying to get me to sync up with her.
And that’s when it hits me, not realising that my heart is thumping a mile a minute, my breathing is struggling to pass my lips and all I want to do is to be with Lucy.
I need her.
I need her to open her beautiful eyes and tell me everything is going to be alright.
The knot in my chest tightens as I try to breathe, but it’s no use. Lucy is my air and without her, it’s like I have forgotten how to breathe. Voice’s surround me but I pay no mind. My only focus is trying to draw air into my burning lungs.
I know without her here to ground me, I will eventually suffocate.
For so long I fought these feelings, but now that they are free they have become my very being. They live and breathe inside me, and I will never survive if she is taken from me.
Lucy is the air I breathe.
The light in my life.
The soft to my hard.
The beauty that soothes the beast inside me.
How can I live without her?
I CAN’T...I WON’T!
Pushing through the double doors, my emotions are all over the place.
I’m riding a massive high.
I couldn’t be prouder of my fucking amazing wife.
I haven’t been able to wipe the smile from my face.
What a fucking rush I think, heading towards the waiting room.
Turning the corner, I see mum and dad sitting side by side, their hands linked together.
My mum's head resting against his shoulder.
Swallowing hard.
I try not to get too choked up as I get the words past my lips.
“My girls are stunning and my wife is sore but bloody amazing,” taking in a lungful of air as tears prick the corners of my eyes, coughing to clear the lump in my throat.
Big smiles spread across their faces.
Mum squeals, rushing into my open arms, hugging me tight.
“All healthy,” she murmurs into my chest, making me laugh.
“All healthy and lungs that will bring the roof down. Baby A is 5 pounds 13 ounces and Baby B is 6 pounds exactly,” I chuckle.
“Baby A and Baby B son,” Dad chuckles behind mum.
Shrugging, “Cora and I wanted to tell you their names together.”
“Fair enough,” he pouts, making me laugh.
Mum pulls back, her smile radiates through her, but I notice the grave look in her beautiful blue eyes.
“Mum, don't worry, they are all doing well. The girls have been taken to the NICU and Cora has just been settled into her room. They just want to run some tests to make sure they are all good since they are early, but the Doc said everything so far looks perfect.”
“Congratulations son, that's great news,” Dad says coming to my side patting me on the back.
Putting his hand out for me to shake, taking it, he pulls me into a bear hug.
“What’s going on?” I ask after Dad releases me.
Worry starts tightening my gut seeing that look still on Mum’s face.
A feeling so deep is telling me this isn’t just about Cora and the babies.
“It’s Lucy,” Mum whispers, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears.
“What happened? Where is Lucas?”
“Son, maybe you should just worry about the girls--” Dad says, but I cut him off
“They are fine now, tell me,” I grunt.
“Someone cut the brakes on her car and she swerved off the road. Lucas was following her and brought her in, as they were leaving here earlier cause she only hit her head. You guys came rushing in and they didn’t want to leave you. So they were in here waiting for news and when Lucas got up to ask if there was any information about Cora,” Mum blows out a rough breath, and those tears she was holding back start sliding down her face.
“Kasey took her,” she chokes out.
“Kasey?” I ask, trying to work out who the hell she is talking about.
“Martha's daughter that helps her run the bakery,” Dad finishes for me.
“Okay, the redhead,” I say slowly.
Dad nods as I try to work out what the hell they are not telling me.
“She had a crush well more than a crush on Lucas.” Dad shrugs, running a hand through his hair. “Let's just say somehow she got it in her head that Lucas was meant to be hers and she needed to eliminate the threat,” Dad finishes, shaking his head, looking a hell of a lot older after saying that.
“Where is Lucy?” I ground out.
“The doctor and Lucas are with her now. Kasey…” my Mum chokes on her words, falling back into her seat, her hands covering her face.
Crouching down in front of her.
Dad takes his seat beside her and wraps his arm around her shaking shoulders.
Her muffled sobs wreak havoc through me.
“She cut her wrists, Nash, there was so much blood,” she wails burying her face into my dad's chest.
“Fuck.”
“Jebson and Lucas found Lucy. The Doc has her hooked up to machines. They have stitched the cuts closed, but she lost too much blood so they had to give her a blood transfusion,” Dad says into the top of Mum’s head.
“Lucas?” I choke out my head, fucking whirling with this information.
“He was shot in the shoulder; they managed to get the bullet out before it did too much damage. He is sitting with her now.”
I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out.
“Kasey went fucking crazy,” Earl says, coming over to my side.
“How are they?” Mum asks, lifting her head.
“Lucas is pissed, worried, and every other emotion you can think of. He doesn’t understand why she hasn’t woken up yet and he is yelling at everyone,” he runs a weathered hand through his hair.
“The second bag of blood just got attached now, the Doc said she should make a full recovery and wake soon and to just give her time. Her body has suffered a huge trauma, and this is just her body’s way of recovering,” he shrugs, falling into the seat next to dad, elbows on his knees, palming his face in his hands.
“They are both strong,” Dad
says to no one in particular.
“Has anyone called Sophie?” I ask.
Mum nods against Dad's chest.
“Your mother just got off the phone to her before you came in,” Dad nods.
“How are Cora and the babies?” Earl asks and I can’t stop the smile curling my lips.
“Perfect,” I wink, making him chuckle.
“I’m gonna go check on Lucas,” I say, pushing to my feet.
“Once I check in with them, how bout I take you two to meet your granddaughters?”
“Sounds great,” Mum smiles up at me for the first time since this conversation started.
Leaning down, I kiss the top of her head, patting Dad and Earl on the back.
I head towards the hall.
“Room 109,” Earl calls to my back and I flip up my hand in acknowledgement, taking measured steps towards the room.
Blowing out a rough breath, I push the door open.
Sucking in a deep breath at the image in front of me.
Lucy is laid out on the bed, machines beeping and buzzing around the room.
An IV is attached in the back of her hand, blood pumping into her.
She’s always been a tiny thing, however, right now she looks so little with her dark hair laying around her shoulders.
So fucking pale.
Her eyes are closed as if she is sleeping peacefully, but my gut twists knowing she’s not.
Looking towards her arms, both wrists are wrapped in white bandages, locking my jaw as anger slices through me.
How the fuck does this shit happen?
Lucy is the nicest person you could ever meet.
Yeah, she has a smart mouth, but she didn’t deserve this shit.
Nobody deserves this shit.
My eyes snap to Lucas’s and my heart squeezes in my chest, knowing the look on his face too fucking well.
“Brother,” I choke out, his eyes swing to mine.
He bites into his bottom lip, shoulders straighten out, and I know he is holding on by a thread.
“Nash,” he nods gruffly.
My name tearing through me all over again, taking the seat opposite him.
Leaning forward, I pick up Lucy’s hand and lightly leave a kiss there before sitting back in my seat.
We sit in silence, listening to the machines as they echo around the sterile space.
Family isn’t always blood.
It’s the people in your life that choose to be there through thick and thin.
Lucy is my sister and I would do anything to make her smile again.
Nash takes Lucy’s hand planting a small kiss on top and the irrational part of my brain wants to rip her hand away from his mouth and kick his ass.
Breathing deeply between gritted teeth, I push the irritability away, knowing it means nothing. Lucy is like a sister to Nash.
It still doesn’t stop the feeling of jealousy as it courses fast and hard through my veins.
Nash is married, Lucy is like a sister to him, and I’m like his brother.
My head is all over the place with everything that's happened today, and I don’t want to share her. It’s taken me six years to finally let my feelings out and I want her all to myself.
Every word plays on a loop through my mind as we sit in silence for god knows how long.
The machines at the head of the bed are the only sound in the room, my teeth grind as the
beep
beep
beep
vibrates right through me.
Wrapping my hand carefully around hers, not wanting to catch the IV inserted on the top of her hand, sliding my hand around so we are palm to palm, I lock my fingers through hers.
I’m relieved to feel her skin is no longer as cool as it was earlier.
I just need her to wake up.
Taking in the curve of her eyebrows, down her nose to those soft flushed lips.
My gut twists at how pale she is looking, the slow rise and fall of her chest keeps me captivated.
“How's the arm?” Nash asks.
I grunt, twisting my neck, the sling I have to wear rubbing against the back of my neck.
“Tis merely a flesh wound,” I gruff out, my voice husky even to my own ears.
It sounds like I haven’t used it in hours.
Nash chuckles about the Monty Python reference, making me smirk.
“She’s going to wake up,” he breathes out “she has too much fight in her not to.”
“I know,” I nod, kissing the tips of her fingers before leaning back in my chair, leaving my fingers still locked with hers.
Lucy needed two units of blood to replace what she had lost.
The Doctor said she could wake up at any time and that her still being out is a sign of her body healing.
“It’s my fault,” I choke out.
“How?”
“Kasey only attacked her because of me.”
“Did you lead her on?” he asks.
Shaking my head, I open my mouth to answer, but Nash beats me to it.
“You fucking didn’t lead her on. Every time she was around you told her where you stand and that friends is all you had to offer her. So this shit is not your fault brother, it’s hers,” he blows out a rough breath.
“From what I heard, she lost the fucking plot and there is no way you are taking the blame for this. If Lucy was awake, she would probably chew your ass out.”
“She was bat shit crazy.”
“What happened to her?” anger lines his words.
“Don’t know and don’t fucking care,” I spit out.
“The last thing I saw was Jebson shooting her and I haven’t seen him since. I was too busy trying to get Lucy to a doctor.” I shrug, running my thumb softly across the back of her hand.
Looking up, I take note that the bag of blood is now half empty.
“Come to think of it, he wasn’t in the waiting room when I spoke with Mum and Dad,” he runs a finger across his chin.
“He’s probably at the station or with Emily.”
His brows bunch as his eyes cut to me, a puzzled look crossing his features.
“Who’s Emily?”
“A young girl Lucy accidentally hit with her car cause some fuck cut her brake lines,” my fingers lock against Lucy’s as it slams into me.
“Crazy Fucking Bitch Kasey,” I ground out.
“Back to this Emily chick,” Nash says, turning the conversation away from Kasey.
I’m thankful cause anger was simmering just under the skin.
I was ready to go find the bitch.
I have never hurt a woman in my life.
My father would have skinned me alive if I ever disrespected anyone.
But that bitch deserves everything coming to her.
“I don’t know a lot about her” I shrug “except that she looks like she has taken a few rounds with someone’s fists, and whoever that was left her dehydrated and malnourished. So God, help the sonofabitch if Jebson ever catches him.”
“Sounds like Jebson has his work cut out for him.” Nash nods.
Leaning back in his chair, crossing his ankles as he stretches his legs out in front of him, resting his hands on top of his head.
Nodding in agreement, it slams into me that Nash had his own eventful day.
“Ah shit,” I husk out.
Here I am going on with this shit and I haven’t asked how Cora and the babies are.
I'm such a shit friend.
“What is it?”
“I’m sorry man, here I am going on and on about all this shit and you have been through hell yourself today,” shaking my head at myself.
“Don’t worry about it, man.”
“How are your girls?”
“Amazing, so tiny and perfect. Cora is stunning and so bloody strong,” awe coats his words as a megawatt smile expands across his face.
“That’s great mate, cong
ratulations. Who would've thought that you, Nash Steel, would become a father,” I chuckle no sooner are the words out a sweet voice from beside me whispers.
“I have nieces.”
“Lucy,” I gasp, pushing to my feet, holding her hand softly in mine.
Bringing it to my face, I press soft kisses across her knuckles as her fingers curl into my palm.
“Thank fuck,” Nash whisper shouts pushing to his feet.
Softly laying her hand back to the bed.
I reach over, pushing her hair out of her eyes with the tips of my fingers.
Those evergreen eyes shine into mine as a soft smile pulls across her lips.
“Hi,” I choke out.
“Hey yourself, Stallion,” she husks out, crystal tears sliding over her cheeks.
“I missed you,” leaning down, grazing my lips across her forehead.
“I missed you so much, Lucas, but I knew you would be here when I woke.”
“Always Little Vixen, I will always be here,” I wink, kissing her softly on the lips.
“I’m gonna head back to Cora, give you guys some time together, but I’ll come visit later,” Nash says, leaning over kissing the top of her head.
“Nuh..uh buddy, sit your butt down and tell me all about my new nieces and how Cora is doing,” she bosses, making us chuckle.
Nash rests against the end of the bed, arms folded across his chest, smirking down at Lucy.
“Good to see you still have that smart mouth,” he says, raising his brows.
“You would miss my smart mouth,” she smarts back, winking.
“Absolutely,” he gruffs.
“So my nieces…”
“They are beautiful and so tiny, they have a set of lungs on them, pink all over, dark brown hair, light blue eyes with flecks of grey. The midwife said over the next couple of months their eyes will change colour and I hope they get Cora’s mood ring eye’s,” he announces proudly.
“That’s great, I can’t wait to snuggle them,” the soft look on her face melts through me.
Her eyes slowly begin fluttering closed as if she is struggling to keep them open and as much as I want her to stay awake I know she needs her rest.
“Sleep baby, I’ll be here when you wake up. It's been a big day,” I soothe kissing her forehead, letting my lips linger against her warm skin.