by Maree, Kay
~*~
When Wolf woke the next morning, Benny was standing over him with the warm rays of a new day’s sun splintering through the clouds sending a brilliant hue of pink and orange over the world. He winced and groaned at the lingering body aches from his tumble off the bull.
“Nice night camping out?” Benny asked his friend.
“Wolf scrubbed his hands over his face. His arm moved without the weight of Eka that he had when he drifted off to sleep with her in his arms. He remembered the sound of her breathing mixing with his as their hearts synced together once again and he began to fall back in love with her all over again.
“She’s gone, cowboy. Back to that piece of shit, no doubt,” Benny said placing a hot cup of coffee on the stump beside Wolf. He pulled his sore body up from the hard ground, shivered as the morning dawn was chilly around him as he was slightly damp from the night's dew. Wolf took the coffee between his hands, linking his fingers around the cup to warm them as steam mixed with the air. Wolf sipped the hot contents, thinking over all of last night’s thoughts and feelings. The spirits brought Eka back to him and now he had to show her it was him she needed and she needed to stay.
~*~
“Ah. It lives. You need help getting up the steps?” Benny said from inside the trailer as Wolf tried to drag his aching body up the steps. “Nah. I wouldn’t mind if you’d toss me a bottle of aspirin and a bottle of water though,” Wolf said as he made his way inside and crept toward the small table that Benny was sitting at while pushing his feet into his dusty, worn cowboy boots.
Standing, he headed to the small fridge.
“No problem.” The little fridge snicked open, then shut. The pain pills rattled in Benny’s hand as he placed them along with the water on the table for Wolf.
“Thanks, friend,” Wolf said as he reached for the proffered water bottle. “I feel like shit.”
“You still gonna ride today?”
“Hell yes.”
“I thought so. I’ve already been out and exercised both of our horses this morning.”
Wolf looked over at his friend. Swallowing the cold contents, it slipped down his throat and into his near empty stomach, mixing with the warm coffee. It set off a dramatic feeling inside his body, like the one when his eyes met Eka’s. It’s a hot/cold rush that ripples over him.
“You’d better get moving. It’s nearly eight.” Last call for check-in time was nine. It’d probably take him at least that long to work the kinks out of his aching body, get a fresh coat of ointment that Eka had made him slathered on his aches and pains, wrap up his ribcage in bandages and down that infusion she had made. She was such a beautiful soul. How could anyone want to intentionally hurt her in a way that marks more than her skin… it bruises her mind making her feel like she ain’t good enough for anything else but a quick loveless ride and a punching bag.
“Is there any hot water left to shower?” Wolf asked as Benny grabbed his hat, placing it over his shaggy brown hair.
“Should be. No one else has used it this morning but me.” He tipped his hat to Wolf. “I’ll see yar out there.”
“You got it, bud. See ya soon.”
Wolf got out of the shower, a towel wrapped low around his hips. Walking into the small kitchen, he reached for his duffle bag full of clothes that were all dusty and dirty. He hadn’t had a chance to do any washing yet, so they smelled and felt like horses and bulls.
Reaching for the first aid kit on the wall, he grabbed the long white bandages from it. Wolf moved around the small trailer, placing the bandages on the table. He then began to try to apply the cream that Eka had made to the spots that hurt the most, but let’s face it, his torso was covered in blue-purple bruises… a few in the shape of the bull’s hoof. Others mixed in with scrapes and cuts. His whole body ached yesterday, and that was just day one of the weekend. Wolf was already feeling the effects like it was the last day. He drew some wild animal’s right off the top.
He still had today and two more full days of riding. All he had to do was stay focused on the fact that he was doing this for the ranch and to save his beautiful Eka from the clutches of a wild man.
Wolf felt soft warm hands on the backs of his shoulders causing wildfire to ripple over him.
“Let me help you,” her voice was so soft. So quiet. So, alluring.
Wolf turned; her hands followed his body, moving from his back to his chest. His eyes never left hers as she applied the cream to his body. Goosebumps beaded over his skin from the places her touch had been. He could feel all his senses come alive.
You can see Eka come alive as her touch moves over Wolf’s skin. They both shudder as her hands move over him, tracing his body like a map, over ridges and down the taut lines of conditioned muscle. The dis-colored skin from bruises that are sprawled over his body mingle with scars from rodeos past and present. There is warmth and desire coating the small space they are in.
Between Eka and Wolf lies a connection more intense than anything you could ever feel. They trust. Completely. With no barriers. Wolf knows her and Eka knows Wolf. They know exactly how and where to take each other’s bodies. Knowing each other better than their own selves.
Her body is a ride only Wolf knows how to saddle. And his is a canvas only she knows how to draw. Wolfs hands begin to explore Eka’s body.
She starts to wrap his ribs, pulling the bandage tight and his body into hers as his head lowers to her lips. He’s mere inches from her mouth. He can taste the coffee in her breath – dark, bitter, no milk to weaken, no sugar needed - she likes it strong and black. Just like her spirit was before Smith broke her into pieces.
Wolf closes his eyes as Eka hums a Native American tune under her breath. A healing chant she is sending up to the fathers before them to keep him safe, heal his skin, mend his bones, and strengthen him for the day. He lowers his lips to her bare shoulder. She is wearing a flowy beautiful yellow sun dress with thin straps that sling over her shoulders.
His mouth tastes her skin. And he mummers out a groan of longing and pleasure. She feels like heaven and tastes just as good.
Cody had once told Eka that he owned her—that she was his belonging. That she always would be in debt to him.
How wrong she was to ever think those words were true because in this moment standing together with his mouth on her skin his hands on her hips and hers on his holding each other in place Cody was wrong because she never felt with Cody the way she does with Wolf.
He awakens her. He protects her. He owns her. She belongs to him. She always has. She always will.
“I want it all,” Wolf says. “Give me every doubt. Every fear. Every teardrop.”
His voice shakes as he speaks, trying to stay in control. She broke him beyond repair but with each touch of her fingers, each breath from her body, each beat of her heart, she’s slowly piecing him back together.
Her eyes fall to her feet as she doubts herself in this quiet and intimate moment. She doubts what he sees, how he feels. He knows it’s his fault. He hasn’t given her much hope over the last while since she ran off with Smith. Wolf vows to fix that right here, right now.
“You’re so beautiful, Eka. I wish he could see what I see. I wish you could see what I see.” Brushing the small stray strands of hair from her face, his fingers glide so delicately over Eka’s cheek down to her jaw, landing on the pulse in her neck. It beats for him, it always has. Now they just need to find a way back to each other before the world destroys the magic that is floating round them.
Eka is Wolf’s everything. She once had given herself to him completely. As he did her.
“Body and soul,” She whispers against his skin and the vibration sets him on fire.
“I wish you could see how perfect you look right now.”
“I think the bucks and kicks to your brain are starting to affect you.” Wolf’s fingers trace her spine over her sun dress. The fabric is light and airy - she feels the fire left by his touch
. The warmth of him. The way they used to set each other on fire when they were together before everything changed.
“No. Actually, I’ve never seen things clearer.”
Her head pops up off Wolf’s chest, and she smiles up at him as she fastens the end of the bandage.
“Well, ain’t you just a sweet-talking cowboy,” Eka giggles out as she reaches for his shirt on the table. Wolf grabs her hands with his, placing them to his lips then down to rest over his heart.
“Marry me.”
“What?” Eka’s voice is coated in shock. Wow, man. Wolf, where did that come from.
“From the first time I saw you - your lips, your eyes, your voice— it’s all I ever think about. You gave me exactly what I needed, and I never even asked. You just knew. You have seen the darkness in me, uncovered the secrets that I keep, and you love me anyway. You’ve seen the good and ran with it. You soothe the nightmares as I have with you. We have lived inside the darkness of each other’s blackest nights and walked with each other in some of the brightest days. Eka, it’s always been you and me. I have kept your secrets and tried so hard to take your pain. To shield you from it. There’s so much uncertainty in this world, but the one thing I do know is that me and you—it’s as real as it gets.”
Tears fill her soft green eyes as Wolf tucks a fallen hair behind her ear.
“Yes.”
Her voice is hardly above a whisper.
Like Eka knows that Wolf needs to hear it again before she looks at him.
“Yes!” She smiles and the first tear falls to her cheek. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
“I love you, Eka, so much that it hurts,” Wolf murmurs to her. As she parts her lips and takes in a breath, Wolf moves his lips to hers and kisses her like it was the first and last time he ever had tasted her. Their world fell away. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be. His hand rested below her ear, his thumb caressing her cheek as their breaths mingled. She ran her fingers down his spine, falling into him like she had never destroyed his heart while shattering his soul. Eka pulled him closer until there was no space left between them and she could feel the beating of his heart against her chest.
“Shit!” Wolf curses out as annoyance flickers through voice as he pulls back Eka see’s the fire dancing in them the fire for her and what they were as new memories wander with old ones.
“What is it?” Panic rises in Eka’s throat. She doesn’t want this to end. She has been so lost and lonely without him. This moment in time he healed her more than any time and space ever could. He numbs more than her pain. Wolf allows her to feel while walking on broken wings, knowing that she can heal. That she has someone who will always help her escape when the day bleeds into nightfall, he will always be there for her to fall into his arms safe and sound.
Wolf does not want to leave her right now. He wants to stay here like this, alone with his unique wish for the rest of the day, so they can find each other again. Feel each other again. Remember what it was like to become lost inside her soul and to swim in the deep pools of her eyes. To look at her as his forever, now that she had said yes. It came out of left field for him also. But it’s a real feeling. She makes it hard for him to breathe when he’s with her and even when he’s not. That right there is love.
But he can’t. He has five minutes to check in and then run Blue Moon.
“Sorry my love, but I have to sign in. I have to ride soon.”
Wolf’s lips brushed over the sweet, plump ones of Eka’s as he slipped into his shirt that she held up for him.
“See you soon. Stay safe.”
It's so quiet here
~ Eka Peno
The saddle bronc competition started.
Eka sat in the bleachers on a saddle blanket to protect her legs from the heat the metal benches held with the Perrie sun pelting down on her. She chose to wear a lemon sun dress today with leather sandals. Her hair falls in long black waves around her, tucked under the wide brim of her straw hat. She held her breath when Wolf’s name was called. She still couldn’t believe what he asked her. She thought she would have to fight to get Wolf back. Never did she think that going to see how he was this morning, and to say sorry for leaving before he woke, that he’d ask her to marry him. In a way, it scared her as she just couldn’t risk Cody’s punches again.
Wolf was bucked off within five seconds. She studied him as he sauntered off the dirt, putting on a macho show for everyone, acting like he was simply fine. But it was not. He was so hard on himself and he would be really beating himself up over that. Plus, he was hurting. You could see it in the way he rode and walked.
Damn man. Foolish but beautiful man.
Her man.
Shit yes, he was now hers. She was now his.
All hell is going to break loose here when she tells Cody.
Oh god, can she?
Is she strong enough?
Are they strong enough to weather his wrath?
An hour later Benny and Cody along with Jerm all posted good times in the calf roping. Wolf though, he didn’t fare so well. He ended up with no time. He hadn’t even made it off his horse. A sick feeling settled in the pit of Eka’s stomach. Something wasn’t right.
Wolf wasn’t fine. She had no choice but to sit in the stands for a few more hours, fretting. Her mind trying hard to connect with his. Needing to know what he was thinking, how he was feeling.
The steer wrestling competition began.
Jerm was scheduled second. Eka watched as Cody yelled advice from the rail of the rodeo arena. His leg rested on the rail as his arms slunk through them. His black cowboy hat covered his face while his body was dressed in dusty blue jeans and a faded blue shirt with white buttons. How these men do not pass out from the heat of it all still amazes Eka. She watched Cody carefully. She didn’t want a scene and she could feel one brewing after last night. He had seen her watching them. She had seen the way his eyes glazed over with a fire of go on test me. She knew better, though. She will not lie, it hurts seeing that. Seeing the way, he could be so unashamedly cruel to her but expect her to obey to him when he could not even be faithful to her. Now, it’s not only Cody who torments her, but another man, his best friend, who does so as well. It makes sense now, the way Jerm has looked at her, treated her, snickered as she walked by and was rude to her face. Now, she had said yes to marry a man that she wasn’t dating and had to tell the man, who erupted like a sleeping volcano at any given moment, that she was leaving him for a man he detested as much as he did the woman he was meant to love.
Being treated as a mere possession by him and a punching bag hurt, but humiliation hurt a lot more than any one of his kicks or punches. And that’s what she felt seeing them together she was humiliated. She had lost so much for this man. As of today, she was determined to get that all back. Find her voice and regain the grip she had lost on her life.
A steer raced out.
It happened so fast Eka nearly missed it.
Jerm threw himself at the steer as the animal reversed direction and came right at him. Man and beast ended up in a dusty pile in the middle of the arena with Jerm on the bottom. Dazed, the steer wobbled to its hooves and bounced toward the gate. The bull fighter didn’t move. Cody stood up on the rails, leaning over. “What the fuck?” Cody yelled out as the crowd all went silent. Cody swung his body over the rails, landing in a dusty thump on the ground, and sprinted towards his friend.
Two officials meet Cody at Jerm’s side, all three crouched down beside him. After a discussion, one of the guys gestured for another official. Another discussion. He in turn signaled for the sports medicine team. “What in the hell is taking so long?” you could hear Cody yell out. Eka and the crowd all watched in horror as a stretcher was hauled out. They carried Jerm away to a smattering of applause and the announcer’s assurance that updates on Jerm Bradley’s condition would be made available as soon as possible.
Cody followed behind the s
tretcher and Eka watched. Her heart hurt. He loved Jerm, so why couldn’t he love her the way he loved him?
She had Wolf now, but she had given up Wolf and her family for this man’s empty words and broken promises. Did he ever love her as he claimed? Or was it all a game for him and his buddy to get off on?
Eka pulled her journal from her bag. She decided that she would write Cody a note.
A letter to let him know just what was going on inside her head, just how bad it had become for her.
Cody….
In my nights you are a monster and in my days, you are the same. There are times I cannot tell the nightmare of my reality from the fiction of my nightmares. Sometimes there are clues that I only catch in retrospect: the house and trailer are different, or you have developed supernatural powers. It does not matter at all; you can beat me with the earthly "gifts" you have. With nonchalant ease you crush every ounce of self-worth I glean, failing to disguise how delighted you are to deal your favorite blows. How they are like candy to you, irresistible, Moorish even. You did not choose me to love or cherish, but to whip and destroy – You lied to me, pulled me in with bright eyes and secret whispers. You took me away from all that loved and cherished me and dropped me into your world, for power and malice are your drugs of choice. They light you up inside with a sickly glow that shines in those languid eyes. I will not allow you to break me. Silence me. Take me from what I am meant to be any more. I am better than your harsh words and your violent blows. I am a woman. I am worthy. I am me. I mean something.