by Maree, Kay
No way was Eka going to even step in and intrude on the Elua’s most scared time in their family’s life.
For her own self-preservation she would not insert herself in a situation already rife with trauma. For all those hours Wolf was in surgery, she’d paced. Worrying. Wondering. When she’d received the news he’d pulled through, she’d curled into a ball and wept. Wolf was alive. That was all that mattered. “Eka, love.” She looked up when Lucy plopped beside her on the dilapidated two-seater couch, but she couldn’t muster a smile. “Yeah?”
“It’s been hours. You want something to eat?”
“No. I’d just throw it up. I am sure of that, but thanks, though.”
“Okay. That’s fine. How long do you want to stay here?”
“Until I can see him. Let me rephrase that. Until I can see him in private. Without me having to explain why I am here to a family who don’t ever want to see me.”
“You realize that might not be for a day or two. They don’t look like they will be leaving anytime soon,” Lucy said as Eka spat out, “Crap.” Lucy frowned. “Why do you say that and why wouldn’t they want to see you? Aren’t you from the same tribe?”
Lucy’s eyebrows raised as Eka closed her eyes. ‘Nulinigvgv, alasdi,edoa.’ Strength, fight, stay Eka chanted in a hushed toned as she pulled on all her inner fighter to remain here and present, as her mind and body takes her back to a place where she didn’t want to ever re-visit. The night her father shunned her from the reservation and broke all of her as she left without saying goodbye to Wolf. She was picked up just outside of town by Cody. He wasn’t at the meeting spot, so she had to walk the four miles before he appeared smelling of beer and cheap perfume. She should have run far from him then and back to the arms of Wolf, her only ever true love.
“Because I was kicked out of my family for falling for a white man when my story was meant to be Wolf and Eka. I broke the invisible string from the moon to the sun and disjointed the sky’s story of a love that was written inside the smoke of an ancient fire even before we were born. I fell for someone that promised me a life that I could only have ever dreamt of. A life that wasn’t as a Native American Indian, but as Cody Smith’s girlfriend. The best rodeo rider of the time. The man so many wanted to be and be with, and he had eyes for me. But then his love turned to hate, and his hands found my skin in ways that didn’t resemble love. So you see, Lucy, even though Wolf has saved and stolen me from the dark, asked for my hand… I can’t be with him. Not now, not here, not while they are here. They will not let me near their boy who I broke.” Lucy’s eyes froze on Eka’s as she tried to blink away the tears that wanted so badly to fall.
“You’re just gonna take off like nothing’s happened? Like it doesn’t matter he’s lying unconscious, beat up and practically dead in a hospital bed? You’re going to let all you have been through and fought for be in vain? All he’s been through to get you back, you’re going to walk away and let it go and not stay? Not fight? I don’t get it, little lady. I have watched you both. He has spoken about you so often that even I fell in love. Did you ever wonder why I was there when you needed someone?” Eka winced at Lucy’s hard slap of words.
“It’s not as easy as that, Lucy. Your culture is different.” Eka closed her eyes and pulled herself tighter into her body. Lucy pressed Eka’s head to her shoulder and let her cry. When the worst of the tears were over, Lucy smoothed the hair from Eka’s damp cheek. “You know, I’d like to argue with you and say you’re wrong, but I know you’re exactly right. Your culture is different from mine. But we all speak the same. We have to forgive.”
“I wish it were that easy, Lucy, I do. I was exiled from my tribe. Never to return and I can’t just walk in there and be like hey, I’m sorry. I was wrong. You were right. It would not be accepted. Wolf had planned to buy a ranch across the river from the reservation for him and I. It was just this morning that he asked me to marry him and now look, I have nothing.”
Lucy handed her a Kleenex. “I’m sorry, baby girl, that’s rough. It also blows my mind.” Eka blew her nose and wiped her eyes, unsure of what to say to the woman who was so kind it hurt. Eka she missed her grandmother more and more with each passing moment she spent in this women’s presence.
They stayed locked in silence for a while. Lucy sighed and scooted away. “So, what are you gonna do, girlie?”
“Same thing I’ve been doing, I guess. Hide out until Wolf’s family leaves and then I’ll sneak in to see him.”
Eka looked exhausted and absolutely lost. For the first time in her whole life she had nowhere to go. No one to run too and save her from the big wide world and no safe arms to fall into.
“If I was a spouse, I could hide out in Wolf’s trailer until tomorrow night, but his family will be there to collect it. I could also bunk with Benny. Maybe he will have me.” Her voice was so broken that it cut through the air, causing Lucy’s eyes to well with fresh tears. She had never been given the chance to bear children, and she wanted a daughter like the world needed air to breathe. It cut her deep knowing that Eka’s family could just turn her away without a forethought.
“Well, girlie, you will be staying with me. Until things here work out and that man of yours wakes up. I always need another set of hands to muck out horse stalls. The company would be nice too. After decades with Jimmy, it would be nice to have another woman around.”
Tears fell back down Eka’s cheeks as she looked into Lucy’s kind eyes. She fell into her arms and just cried till she couldn’t cry anymore. “Really?” Eka broke the hush of silence in the small room.
“Yes, baby girl, of course,” Lucy said, pulling her back to meet her eyes while cupping her cheeks. “It would be an honor.”
“But-But you don’t even know me,” Eka hiccupped out.
“I don’t need to know you, girlie. Wolf loves you and that’s all that matters.”
“This whole situation sucks all the way around,” Eka said her voice sharp. She was scared, angry and tired… amongst everything else she was tired of fighting.
“It does, and it will be rough. I know you have many worries, honey, and your scared, but it will be ok.” Lucy stood laying Eka down. “You rest and wait, do what you have to do.” Eka watch Lucy as she dug into her bag, scribbling something on a piece of floral paper. “Call me when you are ready to be picked up. I have to get back to the fairgrounds as tomorrow’s the last day of rodeo. Cowboys and gals still need to be registered and rides scheduled.” Eka smiled, folding the paper and slipping it in the back pocket of her denim shorts. Lucy draped her black and white shawl over Eka’s tired body, her lips meeting Eka’s forehead. “Sleep for now, honey. I’ll see you soon.” Eka looked at her and smiled weakly. She hurt all over as her mind was rolling through Wolf’s and the pain his body was enduring.
“Call my cell when you’re done here, and I’ll come get you and take you back to the fairgrounds.” Eka nodded, pulling herself deep into the warm cocoon of Lucy’s shawl, smelling a comfort she didn’t know she needed or had missed until now.
Hours passed.
Benny came in with coffee and food. Eka just blinked, looking above his head at the small dent in the paint in the wall. He spoke, but she didn’t hear a word he was saying. She also watched as Cody and Jerm walked in. Her heart could not stop beating at the sight of them because it stopped beating when Wolf drew War Dance. It was now a shattered mess of small fragments floating around inside her body, no longer whole. All she wanted to do was fade into Wolf and piece herself back together one broken fragment at a time.
Cody stormed into the waiting room and yelled and screamed at her, his face a bright shade of red. The purple vein was bulging inside his neck as Jerm pulled on his arms to quiet his anger and soothe his wild. Cody only shrugged him off and slapped him hard across the face. The look of surprise on Jerm’s face told a thousand stories. Eka smiled slightly at the scene before her. “It hurts your soul more than your skin.” She spoke to
Jerm as his hand reached for his cheek. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t… shit, I didn’t mean it.” Cody spoke to his lover while Jerm’s eyes filled with moisture.
“He never does,” Eka said again.
“Shut up, bitch. You’re a little whore. Look at you here, alone, waiting to see your lover where his family doesn’t want you around.” Cody spat down to her. His hands fisted her hair, pulling her to her feet. She stared into his eyes, too tired to fight or flinch. She had no energy to reach for his hands to loosen the grip on her scalp. She was past the point of feeling pain, she was numb.
“GO on, Cody, hit me.” She taunted him. “Please, kill me this time.” She begged as he smiled an evil smirk at her.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you, bitch?” He drew back with her in his grip to slam her head against the wall of the waiting room. A defining crack sounded out around them. The world began to phase out around her, black spots formed as stars shot bright behind her vision.
‘Hanvdadiasgo aqu gvgeyui uleyov digvwaisov uwa vdadisdelvdi asvnasdi aqu galvquodiadanvdo gvdodi nihi pidaayvdi nasginai v uduladi nihi inv alasdi nasginai uwa svnoyiehinvdo inv addawetodi uwa nvdo iga ehi nahna imidu svnoyi.’
Do you remember my love, wander with me through the salvation, touch my soul with your embrace for I need you to fight for the moon to kiss the sun on this dark night. She could hear the sweet sound of Wolf’s voice mix with the hated sound of Cody’s. Her head flung back and forward from the wall, pain spilt over her face as the warm sticky liquid of her blood trickled down her face and splattering the wall.
“Whoa, Cody, come on man, that’s enough. Not here, babe. You’ll kill her. Stop. CODY!” Eka heard Jerm’s voice scream out as panic washed through his eyes and voice. Oh, now he gives a fuck.
He pulled at Cody’s arms. “Come, babe. It’s ok. I forgive you. Let’s just leave. I’ll make you feel better,” He cooed out in a sickly tone of a lover pleading with the wild beast of Cody Smith.
Cody was so close, yet he was so far away. She had fallen so far from him that the thought of what they had once shared makes her sick. Tears ran hot down her cheeks for a family she lost but could see standing outside the room alerted to the violent sound of abuse. Little did they know it was their lost one being beaten at the hands of an evil white man. They looked in with shock, but not one of them stepped forward to save her.
‘Swim to me my love. Don’t drown.’ She heard the sweet sound of her beautiful boy calling to her. Cody then began punching her in the stomach. He had enough of slamming her head into the wall. Her body no longer able to hold her up, she fell to the floor in a heap of limbs.
“You think you’re smart, Eka, that you could just leave me.” He began kicking her with so much force that she felt her bones crack under his boot.
“You thought I’d let you go?” He kicked her again, and she coughed, gasping for air. No one moved in to help her. To save her. Jerm stood yelling and pleading with Cody to stop. “Hey, thought you could fuck him under my nose.” He yelled again with another boot. Before he lowered his body down to hers his fist in her hair pulling her face to his he bit down on her lips forcing himself into her mouth violently taking her hard the blood from her face and mouth mixed with his taste of his beer and cigarettes. Eka gagged at the taste and the force of his tongue inside her mouth. “Hey, my little whore, you like that. A beating, then rough sex to follow. Cody reached for her top with his free hand and ripped it from her body, she yelped as the cotton ripped over her flesh, her ribs burned as his hands dug into her flesh. His mouth left hers and moved to her breast. “Cody, what the fuck, man? That’s enough!” Jerm yelled and Eka could hear a chant come from the elders of the Cherokee standing outside, watching in disgust as a white man attacked their own. Eka’s mother wailed, and Wolf’s mother screamed for help. “Shut up, Jerm. You will get fucked hard after I’m done with this little bitch,” he bit out to Jerm.
Jerm fell back down the wall, his head in his hands, no longer able to watch the show that Cody was putting on.
Eka began to fade as Cody’s hand slammed down the waistband of her shorts and roughly sorting out her folds, digging his fingers inside as he pummeled her hard and fast, his anger present. As he took from her, his body begin to pant with pleasure. Eka choked on tears and pain. Blood pooled inside her mouth and legs. She knew he was ripping her insides with his force and she couldn’t take much more. Her head burned, her ribs broken, dug into her flesh and lungs, taking what little air inside her body away. His other hand wrapped tight around her neck, taking the last of her oxygen her body had.
“I found your letter in your bag. Bitch, you wanna leave me? Ha.” A knee dug between her thighs, opening her up wide while his fingers dug deeper inside, her folds burning like she was on fire inside her body. His fist clenched around her throat. “Where’s your lover now, Eka?” he spat out as he lowered his face to her, his eyes black with rage. Hers were fuzzy from lack of air and death, she could feel it falling over her body.
“I will take what’s mine, Eka, and never will you belong anywhere again.” His words as violent as his hands on her body.
‘Come to me. Again, fight for us, my love. Fall into my voice.’ he spoke like waves crashing over her body, pulling her over the brutal shards of this horror scene and towards him.
The gasps of her mother and Wolf’s mother were heard around the small room. The black was closing in. Eka watched as some cowboys from the circuit came in and pulled Cody from her body. He was thrashing out as their arms wrapped around him, his legs kicking out, still landing on her. Jerm was yelling at them to get off Cody, let him go. It was so loud.
Eka hurt all over.
Her ears felt like they were bleeding, as shame mixed with pain rippled over her broken body. Jerm jumped up from the floor, toward the cowboys, and he was pulling at them to free Cody, but it was to no avail, they had a hold of him and weren’t letting go.
Cody was screaming and fighting back. “Let me fucking go! I’m going to kill the bitch,” he spat in their faces.
“Fucking pack it in, Cody. It’s about time you were stopped.” Eka heard one of the men say as she pulled her body into a ball. Her vision blurred with tears and blood as she watched Jerm fall back down to the floor, sliding down the wall, tears washing over his cheeks as the police entered and the chaos around her continued. Cody now fought with the police and the cowboys.
It was havoc, and all Eka wanted to do was fall into Wolf, but she could no longer hear him inside all the noise. She begged her mind to fall down into the memories of them, the carousel of their romance.
Their happy place.
Each other.
For evermore.
Jerm was now sobbing out broken sounds and begging Cody to stop fighting them, to calm down. “Please, baby.” He begged. “Please, stop fighting.” His voice broken, quiet inside the loud.
Cody was splattered with Eka’s blood and Wolf’s voice coated around her, pulling her down into the black with him.
‘Come on, my love. Tonight we shall seduce the night with our love.’
Eka let Wolf’s voice take her away.
Broken shards inside the dream of lovers caught inside the ghosts of a past
~ Eka Peno
Day Four
Around five a.m. Eka was jolted awake.
She felt empty.
It hurt.
She blinked up into the dark of a room with beeping sounds around her.
Her body was screaming in pain.
Her eyes watered as she tried to breathe in a breath.
What was this pain? Was this death? Why was she here? Where is Wolf? Shouldn’t he be waiting on the other side for her?
Eka blinked again, trying to clear her vision. This isn’t death. This is a hospital room.
Hers.
Not Wolf’s.
Nope.
Her own from the attack dealt to her by Cody Smith.
Curious
blue eyes met hers. They looked familiar, she could not place where she had seen them before.
“Eka, right? Lucy told me to keep an eye on you. She has just gone to get you some items from Cody’s trailer.
“You are?” Eka coughed out as it hurt to talk and breathe, her throat was on fire.
“I am Mandy and I’m one of the women that you so sharply spoke to the other day when myself and the other ladies were in the bleachers.” Eka closed her eyes and thought back to that day where she knew they were talking about her and she had finally had enough. She finally had spoken out. Their stares were hard enough but their plain, blatant disrespect and speaking of her while she was sitting next to them hurt.
“Ah, yes.” Eka tried to bring her hand up to her throat to rub the pain away but she couldn’t as it was connected to a tube that was hooked up to a IV bag hanging at the side of her on a metal stand.
Why was she connected to this? Why was she even breathing still?
“I’m sorry about that day,” Mandy spoke softly, sitting down on the bed next to Eka. Her weight pulled the covers taunt, making Eka wince in pain. She closed her eyes and nodded, not wishing to talk any further as it hurt.
“Wolf’s folks are gone. He’s alone for the first time since Yesterday.”
“Yesterday?” Eka questioned, her voice hoarse. Her eyes moved around to the side. There had to be a jug or cup of water. Isn’t it a hospital code of conduct to have mandatory jugs placed around everywhere?