by Devin Morgan
Sarah had been staring at Carlos with an intent expression and when he laughed, she looked down at her coffee cup. Blushing, she hoped her admiration for his dark, bad boy good looks hadn’t shown on her face. She brushed her hair off her forehead as she sipped her coffee.
“So what about you? You know all about me. I don’t know nothin’ about you.”
“Well, I’ve been doing therapy for ten years. Amazing. It doesn’t seem that long. I graduated from . . . ”
“No, I don’t mean the business stuff. What about you? What do you like to do for fun? Is there a real you or just the shrink?” He genuinely wanted to know and he wondered what possessed him to have any interest in a woman so different from him.
Sarah glanced up to see him staring at her, his head to one side. The sincerity in his voice made her uncomfortable again.
“Carlos, I think you’re reversing the roles here just a bit.”
“Yeah, so what?”
“Well,” she stammered as she felt her face color pink. “I don’t think it’s appropriate for the client to interrogate the therapist.” She smiled tentatively. “Do you?”
“Sarah,” he leaned forward, locking his black eyes to hers, “have you ever noticed that if you separate the word ‘therapist’ into two words, they are ‘the rapist’?”
She gasped and he laughed.
#
As she settled in her bed, she thought about her quiet afternoon at the movies. It certainly had taken an unexpected turn. Instead of figuring out if he had been messing with her mind, she had found herself even more immersed in his case.
As she pulled the down comforter over her and turned out the light, she could see his intense dark eyes, hear his laughter in her mind.
“What the hell is this?” was her last thought as she drifted off to sleep.
CHAPTER 5
“Can’t you find out any more information about him?” Sarah spoke loudly so her friend could hear her over the sounds of traffic.
“I sent you everything we have from here.” Colleen cursed at the driver ahead of her. “Listen, I’m late to a meeting. If I can find anything else on him, I’ll let you know.” Sarah heard the car horn blow several times. “Why don’t you just ask him?”
“He’s evasive with me.” Sarah leaned back in her desk chair. “I can’t seem to get a straight answer from him other than he likes his sessions. And he’s due here in half an hour. Is there anywhere else I can go for information on him?”
“Nope, you got it all. Listen, got to go. I’m at the court house and I have to park. Later.” And the sounds of the street coming through the receiver suddenly came to a halt.
“Hey Maggie,” Sarah called to her assistant, “will you call Steve and find out if there’s any way I can get more information on a parolee than what the parole officer has to offer?”
“Sure.” Her plump face peeked around the door. “It isn’t about Gorgeous Havarro is it?”
“Maggie, you can be replaced, you know.” Sarah waved Maggie out of the room.
“Never happen. Nobody has my sense of humor or my robust good looks.” She laughed as she left the room, closing Sarah’s door behind her.
Sarah pulled his file from her drawer. She had a half an hour to think about him before the session. She planned to regress him to England once again. She wasn’t sure what was going on in his subconscious mind but it was certainly interesting. She wondered at herself. She spent a great deal of her time thinking about his case without really understanding why. So far, it had been nothing too much out of the ordinary except for his comment about the undead. That could have meant anything. She needed to control her thoughts to help him to heal. That was her purpose, nothing more. Strange she felt the need to keep telling herself he was nothing more than a client.
A soft knock on the door made her look up. It couldn’t be Maggie. She never knocked; she just barged in whenever she wanted as long as Sarah wasn’t in a session.
“Come on in.”
“Hey.” He came into the room. He hung his jacket on the coat tree then sat in the chair across from her. “So, did you get home okay the other night?”
“I did. How about you?”
“Yeah. It was kind of cool running into you. I still can’t figure out why you were at a flick like that.”
“I feel the same about you.” She smiled as she opened the file resting on her desk. “I’d like to ask you a few questions if that’s alright.”
He coughed, stretching out his legs. “Not today, why don’t we just get going with the sleep stuff. I’m ready to be calmed down.” He rose and crossed to the recliner. He sat, turning to look at her. “Are you coming?” His voice held a touch of insolence.
She hesitated. Deciding not to provoke him, she stood, crossing to the chair facing him. “All right, close your eyes. Now, begin to concentrate on your breath.”
She used the same induction she had used the previous sessions and soon they were in the English forest once again.
“I am nearing the castle.” He paused. “I hear a rider approaching.”
“Can you tell me who the rider is?” She leaned closer to him to be sure the recorder picked up all his words.
“It is a woman. Wait, I see the King’s mistress and she rides alone.”
#
CARLOS HAVARRO, transcript, session 3, February 26
I jumped from my horse and bowed a courtier’s bow as she approached. “My lady.”
“Rise, she commanded. “She was small and her gloved hands were tiny. She wore an emerald green riding costume with a golden plume in her green hat. A gold letter B was suspended from a strand of lustrous pearls strung around her neck. “Aris, you have been the champion in the last three jousts at the palace, have you not?”
“I have.” My eyes searched her face, surprised at what I saw. She was not as beautiful as I thought now that I stood close enough to truly see her. She had small, hard eyes and a thin mouth. “How can I serve you, my lady?”
“First you may assist me from this horse and we shall walk.” I held the horse steady as she dismounted. When she stood next to me, I saw she was even smaller than she appeared at court. And when she spoke, it was a demand, not a question. “What kind of a name is yours? From where do you travel?”
“I came to England many years ago. I brought the name with me. I am now the subject of the King, however my name remains the same.”
“And how did you come to be a champion?” We walked slowly down the path, our horses trailing behind in our tracks.
“I am a warrior. Being a champion was my reward for excellence in all that I do, my lady.” I tipped my head in deference to her, delighted to have responded without answering any of her questions.
“I see.” Silence fell between us and all that could be heard was the sound of the horses’ hooves on the soft earth. “And so, you are loyal to your King?”
“Yes, my lady.”
“And are you loyal to me and to my personal court as well?”
“Yes, my lady.”
“I have a very private,” she paused, “a very important matter to be solved. It entails my family and the honor of the Boleyn name. Are you a man who can be trusted?”
“I am loyal to the King and so to you without rewards or penalties. What is the task?”
“It is my brother, George.”
“Yes, my lady.” Rumors of George Boleyn and his escapades abounded throughout the palace. He was a rowdy and raucous young man with a disposition to much drink and a violent temper.
“I wish you to keep a watchful eye then report to me. His reputation is sour and he must not stand in the way of the advancement of my family at court. I have seen you in his company and I see he favors you. He acts freely when he is with you. Stay him, Aris, from ill rumors and you will win my favor.”
“It will be an honor, my lady, to stand for the Boleyn name.”
“And if you perform my bidding to my satisfaction, I have another intrigue, far more im
portant and deeply dangerous.”
“My lady?”
“No, not now. I will summon you again when I am ready, but I will tell you this, it involves a man high at court, some say closest to the throne.”
Could it be Wolsey? The cardinal? I could feel the rise in my eyebrows at the import of the man of whom she spoke, the man who was second to only the King and who some said was the true ruler of England.
“Are you still loyal?” She laughed as she spoke.
“Yes my lady, I am always loyal.” I nodded my head in agreement.
“Go then Aris. Fulfill the first task, only then will you earn my trust for the second.”
I bowed and assisted her onto her horse. She turned to look at me once more before she rode away. She heeled the animal and it jumped into a gallop.
I felt a cold chill and spoke to no one but the trees. “It is obvious by her eyes that someone in this realm should be very afraid.” I mounted my horse then rode from the clearing.
#
“One, two, three, four, five. Eyes open. Wide awake.” His eyes fluttered a few times then stayed open.
“Astounding! It’s like watching a film. Except I am in it. I can almost taste the air and feel the earth beneath my feet.”
Sarah watched him. She noticed his voice remained deeper and his words were a bit strange for a Latin American from the twenty-first century.
He was silent for a moment before he spoke again. “Man, let’s go back there. I want to know what that broad wants from me.”
Sarah smiled as her client returned to his full current self. “No, enough for today. We’ll revisit England next session. How do you feel?”
“Kind a weird, same as last time. But calm. I feel really calm right now.” He stretched his arms over his head and yawned. “Why is that?”
“It’s a product of the hypnosis. Your body relaxes and your heart beat slows. Your blood pressure lowers. It’s as if your body is sleeping yet your mind is alert.”
“Yeah? Well, I like it so far.” He straightened the chair back to a sitting position. “Want to go get some coffee?”
Sarah stopped herself from saying yes. She needed to keep a safe distance from him. She didn’t understand all her feelings about him but one thing was for certain, she didn’t want to explore them any further. “No, sorry. It really isn’t protocol to have coffee with my clients.”
“How about the other night?”
“That was an accident. And it was only once. Now, I’d like to discuss . . . ”
He lifted his hand to stop her comment. “Why don’t you just think that over, the coffee I mean? See if you can’t change your mind next time.” He stood. He walked to the coat tree, grabbing his jacket. “See you next week Sarah.” His smile was sure and cocky as he opened the door to leave.
CHAPTER 6
“So what’s so important about this Carlos Havarro? You’ve never come to me for help before.” Steve placed the menu on the table as he waved for the waiter.
“This is my first parolee, Steve.” She couldn’t answer his question, even to herself. Why did Carlos continue to occupy her thoughts? She met other handsome young men who showed her interest. She never responded to any of them before and none of them had been ex-cons. Why this one? It was an enigma she didn’t seem able to solve. He even popped into her mind when she first woke up in the morning. She wondered for just a moment if she wasn’t obsessing about him to keep her mind off her stagnant love life.
Steve intruded into her thoughts. “Anyway, I couldn’t find out anything more than the information in the file you sent over. He’s just some small time hood who isn’t worth much to society. Just like the rest of them.”
“Yeah, well this one is intelligent. That and he never had a chance.”
“Sarah, I honestly don’t know why you’re even getting involved with this guy. This isn’t your usual middle class housewife with low self-esteem whose poor miserable husband pays you a hundred bucks an hour to tell her she’s okay.”
“Thanks Steve. It’s really great to know what you think of my profession.”
“Come on babe.” He could see she was irritated by his attitude, yet he didn’t even try to alter his condescending tone. “It’s just I don’t know why your friend even got you involved with this guy. This is way out of your league. And from what I read, he’s pretty dangerous, really nothing but a big time loser.”
“First of all,” she gathered her coat and bag, “my friend has respect for what I do. She actually thinks I can help him. Second of all, go to hell.” She stood, walking quickly to the door. He watched her without emotion, sure she would think better of her reaction and come back to the table to finish dinner.
Slipping her arms into her coat, she pushed the door open, stepped out into the cold evening air and checked both directions of traffic for an empty taxi. Seeing one on her side of the street, she stuck her fingers in her mouth, whistled and the cab pulled to the curb. Settling into the back seat, she gave the driver her address. As the driver pulled away, she didn’t even turn to see Steve who had finally moved to the doorway, amazed that she actually left.
The lights of the city reflected in the windows of the tall buildings as the cab drove slowly through the rush hour traffic. Sarah smiled to herself. She would have to tell Bonnie how well their therapy sessions had paid off.
#
“How could I have wasted three months on that jerk?” She was bundled up in her blue and white flannel pajamas with a glass of merlot in one hand while she held the phone in the other.
“I hate to say it but I will anyway. I told you so. He was an ego on feet from the first to the last. I honestly don’t know how you can be surprised.” Colleen’s voice had a laugh in it as she answered. “I never liked the schmuck.”
“Okay, okay. So you were right. Next time I’ll pay attention to you. I need all the help I can get when it comes to picking men. Not everybody can find a guy like Bob.”
“Yeah, well Bob wasn’t like Bob when I met him. It took a lot of work to make him human, let me tell you. A cop isn’t the most sensitive guy in the world.”
“Sure. Sure. Take all the credit for him. He was great right from the start.”
“A lot you know. And hon, I wish you’d just realize you don’t need a man in your life to make you a whole person. You’re doing fine on your own.”
“I know that C, it’s just sometimes I feel driven to find my soul mate.” She laughed. “Now I sound like one of those drippy women in soap operas.”
“No, you don’t. It’s easy for me now that I have Bob. It wasn’t always like that, remember all the losers I dated?”
“Yeah, remember Thom-ass?” They both burst out laughing.
When they were able to breathe again, Colleen spoke. “So, how are things going with Carlos? I saw him yesterday and he said he likes coming to you. I think it’s making a difference in him. He can sit still for more than a minute and now, he even makes eye contact.”
“He didn’t make eye contact before?” Sarah sat up, placing her wine glass on the coffee table.
“No, I’ve never seen him look anyone in the eye. Why?”
“No reason.” She adjusted the cushions then leaned back once again remembering his dark eyes locking onto hers during talk therapy. “It must be a trust thing. I use the usual suggestions for relaxation and he says they work.”
“What about the past life stuff? Have you tried any of that yet?”
“A little. We’re just getting into it. He seems very receptive.”
“Well, he’s done a lot of drugs in the past. It should be easy to make him see things that aren’t there?” Colleen laughed an ironic laugh.
“He’s not still doing them, is he?”
“No, he went into rehab last year. It was hell for him but he’s stayed clean since then. I honestly think he wants to straighten out. He thinks a lot of you.”
Sarah sat up again. “Yes?”
“Yeah. He talks about you a lot
when I see him. He’s always thanking me for sending him to you. I think he believes in what you’re doing with him.” The call waiting signal could be heard from Colleen’s cell phone. “Gotta go hon. Got another bird on the line. Talk to you soon.” Suddenly, dead silence. Conversations with Colleen always seemed to end abruptly without warning.
Sarah picked up her wine from the table and settled into the cushions when her cell rang again. She didn’t want to answer it. She wanted to think about her conversation with her friend but, in her business, her time wasn’t her own. She checked the caller I.D. It was an unfamiliar number so she opened the phone to speak. “Hello?”
“Sarah, it’s Carlos. Want to have a cup of coffee?”
“Carlos, I told you before. I can’t have a relationship with a client outside of the office.”
“Then what if I stop being a client?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. We’re in this together to help to heal you.”
“I like the ‘together’ part.” Suddenly, the phone went dead.
“Doesn’t anyone ever say goodbye?” She sighed as she took a sip of her wine.
#
The line at the bar was long so the two women decided to go back to their seats in the theatre and wait for the second act without the ritual glass of wine. Sarah loved going to the opera. It wasn’t only the music and costumes but the whole evening. People dressed in lovely clothes, all the women smelling wonderful and wearing exquisite jewelry. The festivity reminded her of Christmas and the winter holidays were her favorite time of year.
Her mind wandered to the Christmases when she was married to Jeff. He had always acted as if the span from Thanksgiving to New Year was an enormous waste of time. How different they were. Why in the world had she married him?
“Bonnie, do you think I choose unavailable men because I’m really afraid of love?” Sarah almost laughed as she watched Bonnie put on her mental therapist’s cap.