She wanted to do this.
She can kick it off.
“I’m very, very sorry, Kyler,” she says in a quiet voice, knotting and unknotting her hands in her lap. “There isn’t really anything I can say that is going to excuse what I did or make it better.”
That majorly pisses me off. I stand up. “I guess that about covers it.” I stalk toward the door, every step infusing my cells with raw anger.
“Stop,” she calls out in a firm voice. “Sit back down. I’m not done.”
I spin around, glaring at her. “Why should I?! It’ll only be more lies.” Crossing my arms, I stand my ground.
She gets up and walks toward me. “I deserve that. I deserve your anger and your frustration. I’ve lied to you about something important, and you have a right to hate me. I don’t blame you for that, for anything. It was unforgivable. It is unforgivable. I know that.”
“So why did you do it, Mom? Why?”
“You know why, Kyler. I chose the best dad for you. My motivation was pure even if the way I went about it wasn’t.”
My anger bubbles up again. “You don’t get to choose something like that! You’re not God!” I start pacing the room, trying to put myself in her shoes, to fathom why she did the things she did. “Were you so unsure of James that you presumed he’d walk out on you? Is that it?”
“That was part of it. I know now I was wrong. James would have stood by me, and I didn’t give him the chance to do that. I got pregnant before I met him, and he wouldn’t have held that against me. He took Kaden and Keven on as if they were his own, and I know he would’ve done the same with you.” Her eyes well up. “I wish I could go back. I wish I did so many things differently. I wish he had adopted you three and you’d known from the start that he was your stepdad. That’s what I should’ve done, but I was too young, too naïve, too scared, to even realize I had options back then.”
She gently takes my arm. “Tell me what I can to do fix things between us and I’ll do it.” A lone tear rolls down her cheek. “I love you, honey, and I don’t want to lose you.”
My mind is a quagmire and I’m sinking, fast. I can’t make any sense of the crap in my head. “I can’t tell you how to fix this when I don’t even know if it’s fixable, Mom. Maybe, I could accept what you’ve just said if you didn’t lie about it a few weeks ago. When Faye figured out the truth about Kaden and Keven, you should have told me then that he was my dad too. But you didn’t. Not only that, when my brothers asked you outright if he was my dad too, you lied. To. Their. Faces.”
I shuck her hand off, scrunching fistfuls of my hair. “You just kept piling on the lies. Instead of facing the truth, instead of owning it, you dug bigger holes. How am I expected to have any respect for you when you conduct yourself like that? You are supposed to be our role models in life, and both you and Dad are acting appallingly. I don’t know what’s going on in your marriage, what’s going on with Courtney, but you have both behaved completely selfishly, and I don’t know that I can forgive you for that.”
She wraps her arms around herself, and her bottom lip trembles.
“At this point, it feels like I’m better off on my own, because all my pain stems from irresponsible adults. The only people I can truly rely on are my brothers and Faye. They are the only ones without an agenda.”
“Kyler. Your father and I don’t have an agenda except to love and provide for you and your brothers. I cannot deny anything you’ve said. You’re right. I’ve been taking a long hard look at myself, at my life, confronting the mistakes I’ve made, and the ones I’m still making, and I’m going to make changes.” Her chin lifts defiantly. “I don’t think it’s too late to fix certain things, is it?”
I throw my hands up in the air, shaking my head. “I don’t know, Mom. It’s too soon to say. I need time, and I can’t think straight when I’m so angry with you. It’s hard to find any love in my heart for you right now.”
The look of naked grief on her face is hard to stomach, especially knowing my words put that look there, but I’m done lying. I’m done hiding. I’m done pretending. If things are going to change in our family, we need to start speaking more openly and honestly. I can’t control how my parents or my brothers act, but I can control how I act. And I’m done hiding behind a wall, disguising my feelings in some misguided attempt at protection. Faye is right about that. I need to protect myself, first and foremost. Dad spoke about a do-over, and I’m going to embrace that fully.
Mom organized for caterers to serve our Thanksgiving dinner in her suite, but it’s the most sober, most low-key celebration in the history of Kennedy family celebrations. Mom and Dad are sitting at opposite ends of the table failing to hide the animosity between them. Kaden and Keven won’t even look at Mom, and Keaton is on the verge of tears the entire time. Kent is sullen and withdrawn—not that that’s anything new—and Keanu is staying out of it as usual. Brad is sneaking glances at Faye when he thinks I’m not looking, and I’m growing more and more frustrated with him by the second. Kal and Faye are the only ones acting normally, keeping the conversation flowing, but it’s strained and rather one-sided.
When the buzzer sounds and my attorney walks into our suite, you can almost hear the collective sigh of relief at the welcome interruption.
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” he says.
Mom smiles. “Not at all, Fitzgerald. And thank you for interrupting your day to update us.”
“I have some good news.” He looks directly at me. “You’re off the hook for now, and you’re free to return home, but don’t leave the country.”
“Does this mean my son is no longer a suspect?” Dad asks.
“Unfortunately, no. He is still being looked into, but for now, they don’t have enough to hold him or charge him. There was no gunshot residue on his hands, and without the weapon, all they have is circumstantial, but that doesn’t mean they have ruled him out completely. Their investigation will be ongoing, and Kyler must be prepared to return for further questioning if required.”
Dad places his napkin on the table, standing up. “Of course, and thank you.” They shake hands.
“What about that girl?” Faye asks. “The waitress. Is she a suspect?”
“I don’t believe so. It seems she has an alibi from the time she left Mr. Grant’s property earlier on that night until the next morning. It wasn’t her.”
Faye sighs. “Do they have any other suspects?”
“I believe they are exploring several lines of inquiry” is the vague reply. It doesn’t give me a warm and fuzzy feeling. Neither does the prospect of going home. The tension here today is almost unbearable, and I’m not sure I can take much more of it.
We pack up pretty much immediately and make our way to the airport where Dad’s private jet awaits. He had too much wine at dinner, so Michael, Dad’s standby pilot, is flying us home. We have only just taken off when Mom hands me a sheet of paper. “I’m issuing this press release the minute we land. If you have any problem with it, now is the time to tell me.”
She returns to her seat while Faye and I read over the official statement she’s planning on making. My stomach churns anxiously as I read. “Wow,” Faye whispers. “She’s really going to come clean about that?”
“This is damage control, pure and simple.” I can’t keep the disgust from my tone. Her statement confirms that her three eldest children were Doug Grant’s biological children and her husband has always known. Dad has signed off on this lie, which surprises me. I unbuckle my seat belt and walk over to him. “Why are you agreeing to this?” I thrust the press release in front of his face. Kade and Kev materialize at my side, also clutching a copy of the statement.
“Sit down,” he gestures, and I slink into the seat beside him while my brothers take the pair of seats facing us across the glossy walnut-topped table. Dad swirls the whiskey in his glass. “I’m only agreeing to this for you three. I’m cert
ainly not doing this for your mother,” he adds bitterly. “This family has had enough press intrusion recently, and I’d like to make this go away as fast as I can. Putting an end to speculation up front is the best strategy.” His gaze skates between us. “For your sakes.”
“The press release also confirms the divorce is going ahead,” Kaden remarks.
Dad makes a disgruntled sound. “You hardly expect me to stay with your mother after this.” He knocks back his drink. “We can barely tolerate each other at this stage.”
Kev looks away, and Kaden rubs a hand along the back of his neck. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do, Dad, but you’re upset right now. Perhaps it isn’t the best time to be making such a big decision. You may feel differently in a few weeks after you’ve had time to think about it.” Kade’s suggestion is pragmatic.
“The trust is gone, son. On both sides, and I have to shoulder my fair share of the blame. Once the trust is gone, it’s very difficult to continue a marriage.”
“If you’re going to speak about me behind my back, you could at least keep your voice down,” Mom hollers, attracting everyone’s attention.
“You’re releasing a statement to the press the second we get off this plane. It’s going to become common knowledge. Stop trying to pick another fight. I’m done arguing with you,” he shouts back.
“What statement?” Keaton asks from behind me, leaning over his chair with a perplexed expression. I hand him my copy, watching as all the blood leaches from his face while he reads. Keanu, Kal, and Kent all read over his shoulder.
“What does this mean?” Keaton asks with tears in his eyes. “Please don’t leave again, Dad.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Dad confirms, nudging me in the side. I step out, allowing him to go to Keaton. He pulls him into a hug, kissing the top of his head. “Your mother and I are divorcing and there’s lots to be decided, but for now, we will continue to live in the same house. Your mother will bury her head in work, and you’ll hardly see her. It won’t feel any different,” he snipes.
Faye glances at me with saddened eyes, and I’m so over all this drama. If my parents are going to continue acting like juvenile brats, I’m damned if I’m going to stick around to watch the next episode.
It’s late by the time we get back to the house. Everyone goes their separate ways, and I pull Faye into my room. “Are you planning on returning to school tomorrow?”
“Yeah. I’ve missed enough time, and it’s better to show my face and deal with the latest crap than hide away here.”
I kiss her hard. “I love that about you.”
“I love everything about you,” she murmurs, and my heart does a funny flip in my chest.
“I’m going to face the music too, and I’ve been thinking about something on the flight back. Everyone is going to know we’re not related now, and I want to make our relationship status official. Are you okay with that?”
Her hands creep up my chest. “I’m more than okay with that.” She gives me a big grin, and I kiss her again. “But are you sure you want to do this now? There’s going to be enough gossip tomorrow as it is.”
“My new motto is it’s best to get everything out in the open.”
She tweaks my nose. “Okay. I’m in.”
“Then we need to talk to Brad. Agree how we deal with the ending of your ‘fake relationship.’”
She grimaces. “Aw, crap. I’m so not looking forward to that conversation.”
“I know, but I can’t say I’m sorry.” I don’t voice my suspicions, because I don’t think she has quite figured it out, and there’s no harm in sparing her the additional guilt. “I’ll talk to him. You go to bed, but make sure to leave your window open.” I smooth a hand up and down her back, squeezing her ass playfully.
“Nice try, mister.” She extracts my hand from her ass. “As much as it’s tempting to chicken out, there’s no way I’m not sitting in on this convo.”
Faye waits in the games room while I go to get Brad. He drops down onto the couch across from us, crossing his leg over his knee while he leans back casually. “’Sup?”
“The fake relationship ends now,” I blurt, and Faye prods me in the ribs, rolling her eyes and shaking her head.
“What Ky means,” she says, pinning me with a formidable look, “is that we’re really grateful for your support with stuff at school and all you’ve done to help us, but we’re going public so we need to discuss how we end our pretend relationship.”
I drape my arm around Faye’s shoulder, eyeballing my bud. “Yeah, that.”
Brad shrugs, trying to downplay it, even though he looks like he just swallowed something nasty. “You haven’t been at school all week, so we can say we broke up last weekend, and no one will be any the wiser,” he suggests.
“How will we get the word out?” Faye asks.
“Tell Rose and Zoe first thing, and ask them to start spreading it around. I won’t sit with you at lunch anymore—I’ll sit with the guys and find some opportunity to slide it into conversation. It’s no biggie.”
Except I suspect it is.
Faye’s brows crinkle. “The lunch thing is only temporary though, right? I like sitting with you for lunch.”
I smother the possessive growl lurking at the base of my throat. I know she doesn’t mean it like that.
Brad shrugs, feigning indifference again, and he’s really starting to piss me off now. “We’ll see how it plays out.”
He stands up, making a show of stretching his arms out over his head. His shirt lifts, exposing a strip of his toned abs, and I know he’s done that on purpose. Only this isn’t like the time with Addison, because I didn’t love her like I love Faye. If Brad is fixing to mess this up for me, he can think again. My throat constricts.
If it comes down to it, I’ll choose Faye.
It will always only ever be her.
He should know better than to test me a second time.
“I’ll see you in the morning. Night.” He ambles out of the room, whistling under his breath like he hasn’t a care in the world.
“Huh,” Faye says, flopping down beside me. “That went easier than I expected.”
I’m not buying that she’s buying this for a second. She’s way too smart to fall for that load of bull, but I don’t want to get into it with her. She’s my only link to sanity and the one person I don’t want to pick a fight with right now. “At least it’s one less thing to worry about. You sure you’re okay with this?”
She twists around to face me. “Yes. I want people to know I’m yours. We should go out this weekend, somewhere really public, so people see us together.”
“Good idea.” I kiss her forehead, before pulling her up on her feet. Sweeping my arms around her, I lift her fully off the ground. She laughs, and I swat her butt. “I have a couple things to do before bed. Why don’t you go get ready, and I’ll join you in a bit?”
“I’ll do that, but don’t be long.” She plants a quick kiss on my lips. “I’ll be waiting under the covers for you as naked as the day I was born.” Fire simmers in her eyes, and it’s like a shot of liquid lust straight to my dick. Before I can take advantage, she steals away from me, blowing me a cheeky kiss as she sprints to her room.
Little tease.
I head to my room, quickly stripping and changing into sweats. I check the time and then make the call I need to. “Hey. It’s Kyler. Sorry about today. Couldn’t be helped, but I can reschedule it for tomorrow it that works?” Excited chatter meets my ears, and I grin. I can’t wait to see her face. “It’s cool. No sweat. Great. See you then.”
I end the call with a smug smile on my face.
I stop by Brad’s room on my way to Faye. “We need to talk.” I shut the door behind me as Brad pulls his earphones off.
“About what?”
I lean against the wall. “You know wha
t.” His brows lift, and sudden darkness rushes me. “Knock that shit off, bro. I know you’ve got feelings for her, and I’m not doing this with you again.”
“Doing what, Ky?” Brad’s snarky tone surprises me. “You’re the one with the girl, as usual, so don’t come in here all pissed and try to rile me up. I haven’t done anything wrong this time, and I’m not going to either.”
I sigh, walking over to his bed and dropping down beside him. “You can’t have feelings for her. She’s it for me, Brad. She’s the one.”
His expression turns solemn. “Are you on the level?”
I nod. “I’ll never want anyone but her. I’ve never felt more sure of anything.”
His shoulders drop, and he loses the mask of indifference. Staring at me, he looks utterly miserable. “I want to be happy for you, man, I do, but it’s hard because I’m in love with her too.”
I cringe. This is much worse than I thought. “What are you planning to do about it?”
He looks startled. “What the hell?!” Now he looks pissed. “I’m not planning on doing anything! She’s yours. I get that, and I’m under no illusion. She loves you, not me. I’ll get over it.”
“What about us?” I ask. He shrugs, and I lock my hands behind my head. “Your friendship matters to me, but she means everything. Maybe we all just need a little distance.”
“You want me to move out?” he asks.
“What?” I level a disbelieving look his way. “No! Of course not.” I know he doesn’t really have anywhere to go, and I don’t want to make him feel unwelcome here. “You’re family, and you’re welcome to stay here as long as you need to. No matter what transpires between us going forward, don’t ever doubt that.”
He nods. “Thanks.”
“I know it’s like living in a lunatic asylum, but it’s got to be better than sleeping in your car.”
Marginally.
He smirks. “Dude, you’re not wrong, but it’s weirdly comforting. Makes my problems seem like a walk in the park.”
“You still haven’t heard anything?” He shakes his head. “That sucks,” I admit, even if a part of me wishes my parents had to exile themselves to a different continent. I feel guilty the instant that thought surfaces in my mind. Brad’s missing his family like crazy, and I know he’d do anything to be with them, and here I am wishing to offload mine. Other people’s issues always have a way of putting things into perspective.
Keeping Kyler (The Kennedy Boys Book 3) Page 11