by Trish Loye
Dani stood in the living room, surrounded by Jake’s family, when the little girl shoved her way through the adults and launched herself at Dani. She couldn’t do anything but catch her and pick her up, even if it made her arm throb.
“Aunt Alyssa said that you fought a bad man last night.”
Dani nodded and smiled. That about summed it up. “Yes,” she said. “And your Christmas gift saved my life.”
Cassie’s eyes widened. “It did?”
Dani nodded, thinking that the kid probably didn’t need to know that she’d bludgeoned the asshole with it. “I wanted to thank you for it.”
“You’re welcome,” she said very solemnly. Then she wiggled in Dani’s arms, and she took that as a cue to put the girl down.
“Grannie’s making pie and she said I could help.” Cassie raced back to the kitchen.
“Well, I’d better go follow the imp,” Mrs. Harrison said.
The evening went by fast, with a large dinner. The family had already been to church before she and Jake had shown up. Cassie had been in the pageant and Dani had oohed and aahed over the pictures Jessie showed her after dessert.
Finally, Jake interrupted. “We’d better go,” he told Jessie. “Dani needs rest.”
Everyone protested and Dani laughed. “We’ll be back tomorrow.”
They drove back in silence. Dani’s eyes drifted shut after the big meal and with the lingering warmth of Jake’s family enveloping her. She was so tired she ached with it. At the Bed and Breakfast, Jake stopped the car and turned to her before she could get out.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
She frowned. “Sorry for what?”
He shook his head. “I’m sorry for dragging you down here. We should have spent Christmas together in Montréal, without my family.”
She sat back. “Your family’s fine. I like them.”
“You do?”
“Of course I do.” She sighed. “It’s not that I hate families. It’s that I just don’t understand them.”
His head tilted. “Explain.”
She frowned. “I’m not opposed to families, Jake. Yours seems great.”
Now he frowned. “So you’re not opposed to other people’s families, just to creating your own? Or is it me you’re opposed to creating one with?”
“Now that’s unfair.”
“Why, Dani? Why is it unfair if I ask you that? Why is it unfair if I ask you why you won’t say you love me?” He ran a hand over his face. “Unless it’s because you don’t love me?”
He shook his head. “Shit. I promised myself I wouldn’t bring this up yet, but apparently I can’t wait. I need to know where we’re going.” He opened the car door. “Think about it, because I can’t stay with a woman who doesn’t love me.”
He left her sitting in the rapidly cooling car.
* * *
Jake cracked a beer from the mini-fridge in their room. He usually frowned upon drinking when his stress was high, but this kind of stress deserved a beer. Dani was driving him insane. He loved her and she loved him. What the fuck was the problem?
The beer’s cold maltiness soothed his throat. He chugged another swallow. He needed space. Dani would be walking in that door and he didn’t think he could handle any more silence on her part.
He opened his duffel and eyed the ring box that he’d brought down with him. He’d really thought they would be getting engaged this trip. Instead, she’d gotten angry and turned him down.
He sighed and ran a hand over his face.
What the fuck was he doing? His woman had just been chased by a crazed murderer through Central Park, and here he was demanding to know whether or not she loved him?
He knew she did. She may not say the words, but in every action she took, she proved it. From the moment she put his niece’s life above her own, to her drawing the killer away from him when he’d been unconscious, to the fact that she’d agreed to spend time with his family even though families made her supremely uncomfortable. She loved him.
He smiled at the memory of Dani trying to hold her temper in the kitchen with his mother. Of course she loved him. What other woman would do those things for him? He set the beer down and went to the door. Time to bring his woman in from the cold.
The handle clicked just as he got to it. Dani pushed through the door. She smiled sheepishly and something flipped inside him at seeing it. She was the love of his life, no matter how corny it sounded. He could wait to propose until she was ready.
She shut the door behind her and leaned against it. “We need to talk.”
He shook his head. “No, we’re good. Or rather, I’m good. You don’t have to explain.”
She shrugged off her coat. “But I do need to explain.”
“I’d really rather just let the whole thing drop. In fact, why don’t we pretend that I never mentioned marriage?”
She stepped closer to him. “I can’t do that.”
He wondered at the nervousness in her gaze. What was going on? It made him tense for a blow he wasn’t sure he could take.
“Why not?”
She tilted her head. “You’re an amazing man—”
His gut clenched at her words. “If you’re breaking up with me, then this is piss-poor timing.”
She shook her head. “No! Don’t think that. I would never—” She took a breath and let it out slowly, then caught his gaze. “I love you.”
He stilled, and then frowned. “Why now?”
She rolled her eyes. “Is nothing ever easy with you?”
“Nothing worth it is easy.” He crossed his arms. “Spill it. I want to know why you’re saying it now. Do you actually mean it? Or are you just trying to make peace?”
She huffed a breath and it almost made him smile, but he schooled his features.
“Of course I mean it,” she said while she stared at the carpet.
“Then look at me,” he said.
She lifted her chin almost defiantly. “I love you.”
He smiled, and pulled her into his arms. “Good. Now let’s go to bed.”
She laughed. “Wait. Don’t you want to know why…why it took me so long to say?”
He thought he knew why, but he sensed she needed to tell him. “I’m listening.”
She pulled out of his arms and sat on the bed. He sat beside her and took her hand. She wasn’t alone, and he wanted her to know that. She squeezed his hand.
“I’ve loved you for a long time now,” she said quietly. “I just couldn’t say the words, because if I said them aloud then…then it would be true.” She waved her other hand in a small gesture. “And somehow it would jinx us.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Jinx?”
She closed her eyes for a moment before speaking. “Everyone I’ve loved has left me. Or betrayed me. My parents. My foster families.” She shook her head and her voice got quieter still. “I know you wouldn’t do that, not on purpose, but what you do is so dangerous…”
He couldn’t stand it any longer; he pulled her into his arms and back onto the bed, rolling on top of her. He held most of his weight off her with his arms. “I love you,” he said. “And in my line of work, I can’t promise that I won’t get hurt, but I will do everything in my power to make it home to you.”
Her nails dug into his shoulders and she drew his head down. The kiss exploded between them, but a question still poked at him. He had to know. He pulled back and stared into her heated eyes.
“We’re together from now on, whether we’re married or not.” He wouldn’t let it be a question. He didn’t want her to deny what was between them. “I know you have problems with marriage. I’m okay to just keep living together. I’ll take you any way I can get you.”
She looked as if she might protest, so he kissed her and continued to kiss her, until little moans of need came from her throat. He kissed her until he no longer remembered why he’d started, and only thought about the exploration of her skin.
But then she hooked her leg over one of h
is and he rolled, letting her straddle him. He loved looking up at her, and immediately pulled her T-shirt from her jeans. She helped pull it over her head, and couldn’t hide her wince when her arm moved. He scowled at the wide white bandage on her bicep. Jesus. He’d almost lost her yesterday.
Her hand cupped his face, bringing his gaze back to hers, and he sucked in a breath. She was gorgeous. And his.
She wore a black lace bra that sent him over the edge. He used his thumbs to rub her nipples to hard peaks through the lace.
She put her hands on his, and he smiled.
Until she stopped him.
“What’s going on, Dani?” His voice was a growl even to his own ears.
She pulled his hands from her delectable breasts. “I’ve been thinking.”
He put his hands back on her breasts, cupping their weight, but continued watching her face. “About?”
“Your question.”
He lightly pinched one of her nipples. She inhaled sharply.
“Which question?” he asked. “Because unless it has to do with one of your fantasies, I don’t really want to talk about it.”
“About marriage,” she said quickly. “You should ask it again.”
He undid her bra while he processed her words. Then he indulged himself and watched her eyes grow even more heated, their lids drooping. He lifted himself up so he could take one of those pouting nipples into his mouth.
“So your answer will be different?” he said against her heated skin.
“Yes,” she moaned, her hands sliding into his hair.
He smiled and didn’t say another word, though he knew she expected him to. She could wait until he was ready. For now, they had all of Christmas Eve to enjoy.
Chapter 9
Dani sat leaning against the hearth by the huge Christmas tree the next morning, feeling just a tad frustrated. Each time she’d tried to broach the subject of marriage, Jake had shut her down, either with a scorching kiss or by rushing to get to his family’s place for Christmas morning.
In the car ride over, he’d called in to E.D.G.E. to give a quick debrief of what had gone down in the park. Of course, it had taken the whole drive because Blackwell had wanted her version too. Didn’t that man ever take a holiday? She frowned as she thought about it. Did he even have family?
She shook her head slightly. Blackwell wasn’t her concern. At least he’d been able to reassure them that Dmitri Rusakov, the bastard who’d started this, would be moved to a higher security facility with monitored visits. He wouldn’t be getting out for a long time.
She focused on the scene in front of her. Jake and his father sat on the couch across from the fireplace, while Jessie and Jake’s mother sat in the matching chairs on either side. Though Mrs. H’s chair had been brought closer to the center of the room.
Better to oversee her court.
Zach had flown home, but Alyssa sat on the floor on the other side of the fireplace with her older niece. Cassie had plopped her stash of toys beside Dani and currently searched for more presents under the tree.
Ripped wrapping paper lay scattered everywhere. The dog snuffled at the papers, probably hoping to find more of the bacon that everyone had snuck him at brunch.
Mrs. H directed Cassie in the handing out of presents. She smiled warmly at Dani. Honestly, it made her nervous.
“I’m going to grab another cup of coffee,” Dani said to no one in particular. As soon as she moved, Jake’s gaze went to her.
He smiled as if everything was settled between them. Like life was happy and joyous and they would go on living together with no change in their status. She had to force her smile. If anything, Jake’s smile got wider.
Was he planning some—
“Why don’t I come with you, dear?” Mrs. H stood.
“It’s alright,” Dani said. “I can—”
“I’ll come with you,” the woman said firmly. She led the way into the kitchen and Dani prepared herself for the worst. Worst what she wasn’t sure, but she just felt like she needed to be prepared.
Mrs. H turned around and leaned against the counter, folding her hands over her stomach. She tilted her head and studied Dani.
Dani held her coffee cup in both hands, like it would protect her from whatever this woman had to say. She almost snorted, but didn’t think that would be a good beginning to the conversation.
“Jake told me everything,” Mrs. H said.
Dani felt her eyes widen. “Everything?”
“He told me how you didn’t have a family growing up. How you don’t trust families now.”
Dani looked away from the woman’s compassionate gaze. She so hadn’t signed up to be psychoanalyzed on Christmas morning. Jake would have a lot to answer for later.
“He also told me how you saved my granddaughter’s life, and his life.”
Dani lifted her head. “Look, Mrs. H, it was something anyone would have done.”
She shook her head. “You drew that killer away from Cassie. Away from Jake when he was hurt. You put yourself in jeopardy for my son.” Her eyes glistened. “I know my boy does dangerous work. And I am just so grateful he found himself someone who looks out for him.”
Dani went to speak, but Mrs. H held up her hand. “I just wanted to tell you that I know you don’t quite know what to do with us, and that’s okay. We’re here for you if you ever need us. No matter what happens between you and my son, you will always have a home here.”
Dani’s chest tightened as she stared at the woman. She wasn’t sure what she should do. But then she didn’t have to know or wonder—Mrs. H came over and wrapped her in a fierce hug. Almost as fierce as Jake’s.
“Thank you.” Mrs. H sniffed. “Now I’m going to get a platter of treats together. Why don’t you grab your coffee and head back in?”
Dani nodded, still unable to speak around her constricted throat. She poured her coffee and doctored it with cream and sugar. Just as she was leaving the kitchen, she stopped. She didn’t turn around. Emotions roiled around inside her. She didn’t know what would happen if she saw Mrs. Harrison’s soft gaze again.
There was no sound from the other woman. She waited for Dani.
Dani’s words were low and scratchy when they came out, as if they’d dug themselves out of a dark place. “It’s been a long time since I had a family. Thank you.”
She left before Mrs. H could do more than draw in a breath.
* * *
Dani walked back into the living room, her throat still tight with emotion. Jake watched her, alert to her distress even as she tried to hide it from him with a smile. He frowned and jerked his head toward the hall.
She frowned back. He rolled his eyes and she suppressed a snort. The tightness left her shoulders and chest. He knew just what to do to lift her mood. Or maybe she just found him and his straight-laced behavior funny.
She followed him out of the living room.
“Did my mother do something to upset you?” he asked.
“No,” she said quickly. “Not at all. She was very…welcoming.”
“Good.” He started back for the living room.
“Wait. Most of the presents are opened. Why don’t we go for a walk?” She’d been thinking that maybe if she re-created the scene he would propose again, and then she could answer him properly.
“You just got a cup of coffee.” He indicated her mug.
She pressed her lips together. “Fine. Later, then.” She stomped back into the living room and sat back in her spot, refusing to look at Jake again.
A few minutes later, Cassie came up to her with a present in her hands. It was the size of a shoebox and wrapped in white paper colored all over with crayon drawings of Christmas trees and presents. “It’s for you,” Cassie said. “I wrapped it myself.”
Dani’s heart swelled. She gave the little girl a quick one-armed hug. “Thank you.” She carefully peeled back the paper, wanting to save the drawings. She opened the lid of the shoebox. Inside was a small velvet jewelry b
ox.
A hush had fallen over the room. She ignored everyone else but the man staring so intently at her. His gray gaze connected and held hers captive. She swallowed. He stood and came to her, pulling her to her feet. He took the velvet box and opened it. Inside was a diamond ring that sparkled in the Christmas tree’s lights.
“Do you trust me?” His gaze held hers.
Something fluttered in her stomach, but she nodded. “You know I do.”
“I love you,” he said quietly.
Her eyes welled and she blinked. “I love you too,” she said raising her voice just a bit so everyone could hear.
He grinned as he took the ring and slid it onto her finger. “Would you marry me, Hacker Girl?”
“Yes.” She threw herself into his arms and hugged him as his family clapped. She took a moment to whisper in his ear. “But just so you know, I’m never making you pie.”
* * *
All the presents had been opened. Dani stood on the edge of the idyllic family scene and sipped her coffee. Jake’s nieces ran and chattered. Dr. Harrison laughed at something Mrs. H had said. Alyssa sat near Jessie, and the two women talked about something that required a lot of hand gestures and laughter.
It was a scene from an after-school special. The thought amused Dani, but she no longer felt shut out from it. She could step in at any point and be welcomed. That thought also amused her. She pictured Jake and herself in the future, in a house like this with kids running around at Christmas time.
She coughed and almost spilled her coffee on her sweater.
Kids?
“You okay?” Jake asked in a low voice. He’d come up beside her.
“Fine,” she squeaked.
“You’re blushing.” He stared intently at her. “What’re you thinking about?”
“I’m not blushing.” She focused on the scene before her, willing the heat to leave her cheeks. No way was she telling him she’d been thinking of kids.