by Tiffany Sala
Once I pulled out onto the street, I put on my radio and relaxed into the process of driving. It had been weird to have Lucas Starling pay attention to me for the first time in years, was weird to think that now he might actually be interested in me for real. But it didn’t change anything; it just meant if I did go out with him, he’d be wanting one thing rather than nothing. I was pleased with myself for standing up to him, for putting him in his place. He probably didn’t get told no nearly enough these days, it would be good for him.
As I stopped at a traffic light, the only car at the intersection when most other people were already home from work and starting dinner, a song came on the radio I was really enjoying at the moment. I was doing a terrible job of singing the correct lyrics as I pulled forward in response to the green light—and then there was a flash of something in my peripheral vision that I knew meant trouble, but there was no time to react. Suddenly I was spinning, and I hadn’t even heard the other car impacting into the back of mine. I did hear my own voice in my ears: high-pitched, sirenlike.
At some point, I realised it was a real siren I was hearing; I’d lost time. My car was in the middle of the intersection with the back of it horribly twisted in my rear view mirror, and though I was still sitting in the driver’s seat the door was open and someone was there beside me, rubbing my arm. Someone who gestured the paramedics in when they arrived, like they required his permission to go ahead.
The uniformed woman was putting her hands all over me, checking, asking questions. Her partner passed in a neck brace. Almost nothing I heard made sense to me. My mind was echoing with an impact I hadn’t heard in real time, and over that I could barely make sense of the voice of Lucas Starling talking to a police officer.
“I wasn’t paying as much attention as I should have; I think she was distracted too. She was acting a bit weird when I saw her a few hours ago. We go to school together.”
My world tilted again; the paramedics were trying to load me into the ambulance, I realised this consciously, but the part of my mind that said and did things wasn’t playing along. I was screaming, clawing at them, trying to make it stop. They held me down; I felt a needle prick in my arm.
And next to me again, another prick: Lucas Starling, who had crashed his fucking like-new BMW into the back of my little car just because… well, who the fuck knew why?
He took my hand. “It’s okay, Callie. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
That was the moment my limbs turned to water and my consciousness faded. I couldn’t grasp the words to tell them no, they shouldn’t let him anywhere near me.
Chapter Three
I opened my eyes and he was still there, his hand a vise around mine.
I snatched it away, and screamed the words I’d been holding onto all this time. “No! Get away from me!”
Lucas let go of my hand. “It’s okay, Callie,” he said, “look, I’m doing as you asked.”
Another voice cut over his, making my head spin because it was familiar but I couldn’t place it. “Callie, you’re confused. You don’t know what you’re saying.”
My mother. My parents were both in the room, on the other side of the bed I was lying in, their faces strained.
Lucas spoke up again, reclaiming the narrative before I could think of the words to convince them I really did know exactly what I was saying. “It’s okay. I understand that an accident like that must have been a trigger for the trauma you experienced the last time you were run into. I’m so sorry I’ve done this to you, if I could go back and make some different choices…”
My head was still a mess after the shock of the crash plus whatever drugs they’d given me to shut me up, but the panic was also causing my mind to focus. I could see I was not going to get anything out of Lucas that would explain why he was doing this while my mother and father were in the room. He’d just keep twisting those facts, and though it seemed impossible right now he might even be able to dump me in it deeper.
I remembered something he’d been telling the paramedics before I was taken away from the crash site. “No, I…” It was a struggle to even say the words. This, too, would have consequences for me. “I, maybe I really wasn’t paying attention. It might have been mostly my fault.”
Lucas did not seem surprised that I was folding. He came straight back over to my bedside, his face plastered with that ridiculous oversized grin I was sure my parents were just melting over, and scooped up my hand again.
“I think it’s been too much for you,” he said, “seeing your car again after what happened the last time you used it.”
Seeing my car again had been nothing but a source of delight, but I wasn’t in a position to contradict him.
“Mum, Dad,” I spoke up, “would it be all right if Lucas and I had a moment on our own to talk?”
Dad, bless him, hung back when Mum immediately stood and tried to drag him with her out of the room.
“Are you absolutely sure you’re up to this? You don’t need to say or do anything right now; the important thing is resting and regaining your strength and I know Lucas appreciates that.”
“I know, Dad,” I insisted. “But I’d just like a moment with him.”
“Don’t upset her before she has to have her tests,” Dad warned Lucas, all but shaking a finger at him as he followed Mum out of the room.
“That man is one tough nut,” Lucas commented as the door clicked shut. I pulled my hand out of his again, but he either didn’t notice or didn’t care. “I don’t know what I have to do to gain his blessing.”
“He’s a smart man,” I said, “so I doubt there’s anything you could do.”
Lucas made a thoughtful noise. “Maybe.” He began to saunter about in the space around my bed. I made myself look away, because his random movements were making me feel nauseated. I focused on taking stock of my own personal situation—and stiffened as I realised I was now in a hospital gown, with only my underwear underneath. When had they taken my clothes? Had he—
His knowing smile made me feel even more naked. “Don’t worry, they made me leave the room while they were getting you appropriately attired. Didn’t give me any opportunities to molest you while you were unconscious either, not that I would. I’m not a necro or anything.”
“You’re giving me this attitude like I should think better of you,” I said, “when you crashed your car into me presumably just to get my attention. Do me the honour of not trying to convince me otherwise, at least.” And he didn’t. “How have you managed to walk away from that thing so well, anyway? Why am I the only one getting drugged and having my clothes stolen?”
“My car has advanced features,” said Lucas. “Yours is just a piece of shit. Not that we need to worry about that any more; I guarantee it’s a write-off after bouncing off the Beast’s nose the way it did.”
I wanted to have a go at him over the Beast, but I was suddenly distracted by a rush of imminent tears. I closed my eyes. “Why have you done this? I wasn’t doing anything to you. I just wanted you to leave me alone.”
Lucas sighed, and when I opened my eyes again he was standing next to me, shaking his head.
“And why should I do that?”
I just stared for several seconds, trying to work out if there was something in his words I’d missed.
“You can’t just… make someone else spend time with you,” I said, when he didn’t give me anything else.
“Can’t I?” said Lucas, spreading his hands wide.
“What are you going to do,” I said, “put me in hospital every time—”
Lucas’s eyes on me weren’t shifting. Suddenly, all I could think about was his damn car. He’d only got the thing back hours ago and he’d smashed it without a thought.
“You could have killed me,” I said, even though the thought made me start to shake.
“Nah,” said Lucas, “you’re fine.”
I was not going to succeed in convincing him of anything, and I couldn’t let myself get upset. Luca
s was far too smooth for me to have any chance of making them understand he was the problem… and if my parents or the hospital staff came back in, I would have no further opportunity to get to the bottom of what was happening here.
I looked into those unsettlingly attractive eyes, and said, “Why?” Then, a better question: “Why now?”
Lucas didn’t seem to have any particular reaction to the rephrased question. “You’re gorgeous, Callie,” he said. “Noticed right away when I first saw you today. I took one look and said to myself, I want in.”
With the way he was looking at me, there was no doubt exactly what he ‘wanted in’ to. My legs became restless under my thin sheet. Surely my body was not reacting to his words in that way…
Well I might be a virgin, but I had spent plenty of time in the shower or in my bed at night, figuring out what was what. Whether I liked the idea of admitting it or not, I was starting to feel turned on.
It wasn’t just going on between my legs either, where anything that was happening was safely hidden from his eyes. My breasts were starting to feel heavy and sensitive too. I squirmed in the bed, and failed to completely stifle a gasp as the hospital gown scraped over my chest. My nipples were standing up hard under that thin bit of cloth. I could blame it on the air conditioning or weird effects of concussion or whatever I liked, but the fact was they were right there for Lucas to see. And I could tell he hadn’t missed this fact.
His eyes glued to my chest, he ran his tongue over that ridiculously pillowy bottom lip. “They’re going to come back to run some tests on you soon—the fuss you made at the crash site sparked some worries about serious brain injury. We don’t have time to argue and I’m not in the mood for it after the day I’ve had, so here’s how it’s going to work. You don’t have a car any more, so I’ll pick you up for school on Monday, assuming you’re in a condition to go.”
“You don’t have a car any more either,” I pointed out, trying to find a way to move my arm casually to block his view of my chest. The only dignified option I seemed to have here was to pretend I hadn’t even noticed what my body was doing. Even if there was no way he would believe it.
“Don’t be silly, Calista,” said Lucas, “of course I have a car.”
Something about the way he said that made me throb again between my legs. Maybe they were going to find out I’d been seriously injured in the head. How could I be having these feelings after this mad fucker had pulled a stunt that could have killed me?
“I’m not getting in a car with you,” I told him. My head was starting to throb too. Like Lucas, I sensed we didn’t have a lot of time left to sort this out.
“Of course you will,” Lucas said. “I’m going to take you to work as well, if you still insist on going.”
I was expecting him to make some threat about what he would do if I refused to accept his offer, but I realised he didn’t need to say anything. He’d already proven he could cause serious trouble for me if I didn’t agree to do what he wanted.
My mind flashed back to several years ago, to walking out the school gates with Mum wondering if he would be there to meet us somewhere along the road. What he would do that day.
Well, he had definitely escalated his games since those days, but some things were still the same. It was still impossible to predict just how far Lucas Starling would go when he had his eye on you. And it was still just as unsettling not knowing.
“You still haven’t really told me why,” I said. “You could have almost any girl in our class get in your car. You wouldn’t even need to smash it up to make a point.”
That perfect, straight-teeth smile again. It seemed wrong that someone so fucked-up should be able to make such a pretty smile. “Why shouldn’t I have the exact toy I want to play with, Callie?”
“That’s not an answer I like,” I told him. “I’ve seen now how you treat your toys when you don’t get what you want.”
“Well,” Lucas said, “you’d better try hard to keep being a toy I don’t want to break.”
He leaned over my prone form and I pulled my head back, expecting an attempted kiss—but instead his hand slid from my waist up and then brushed the side of my breast as it withdrew, barely grazing my nipple through my almost nonexistent hospital gown. Conceivably just an accident, a slip… but with his eyes on mine so intently as he drew back, I wasn’t going to buy it.
He wrinkled his nose at me in a way that had several parts of my body flip-flopping over, and sauntered out of the room with his hands in his pockets.
My blood was on fire. I wanted to scream, throw something after his head, punch him—and if I did anything I would just make myself look even more nuts.
I scrubbed at my breasts with my fists, trying to erase the feel of his hand on me. Nobody had ever touched me like that before, and I hated that I had actually enjoyed it.
I hated the idea that maybe, if he had me alone where nobody else was likely to interrupt, I might allow him to touch me like that again, and worse. That I might find myself encouraging it, really wanting it. I hadn’t wanted anything to do with Lucas Starling for years, and now I was old enough to know that had been a very wise choice. I wasn’t going to let grown-up woman hormones ruin what I’d managed to escape when I was first entering the world of preteen crushes and had no idea what was happening.
Chapter Four
Even though all the scans and tests turned up absolutely nothing wrong with me, not even whiplash, I was in such a state they almost didn’t want to discharge me from the hospital. Only an aggressive campaign from my dad, who pointed out in about half a dozen ways I would likely be much more relaxed in familiar surroundings, tipped the scales for me.
I could see as I walked somewhat gleefully out the front doors of the hospital with all my clothes back that my parents, standing one on either side of me grabbing a shoulder each like they were about to launch into a tug-of-war, were not happy about something. But I stayed in the dark until we’d been travelling for a few minutes, when Mum lifted her head to check on me in the back seat and said, “Oh, you needn’t worry about having a car for work, Callie. Lucas has promised to help replace your car, and to drive you anywhere you need to go until that can be arranged. We sorted out some of the paperwork for the new car while you were being taken care of, and Lucas said he would touch base with you if there was anything more he required.”
Dad gagged a little at ‘touch base’. I grabbed at the door alongside me to brace myself, suddenly feeling like I was back in the midst of those moments after impact: the world spinning, nothing around me stable.
I should say something. But what, exactly? My mother already bloody well knew Lucas had run into me with his car. That didn’t exactly fit into the profile of the sort of guy you would encourage your daughter to get back in a car with. Of course she didn’t know he’d deliberately run into me… but there seemed to be two probable outcomes if I told her that. Either she would think they hadn’t found whatever was really wrong with my head… or I’d have gotten Lucas in a lot of trouble.
If getting Lucas in trouble was the key to saving myself from him, I should be willing to do it.
I didn’t say anything.
“Where’s Lucas going to get a car to drive her?” Dad muttered. “He just drove his existing car into our daughter’s.”
At least he was on my side… and if he knew everything, I was pretty sure he’d turn the car right around that instant so he could hunt Lucas down and punch him. Twice.
But there I was, desperately wanting to get away from this problem, and still I said nothing.
“It sounds like they each contributed more or less equally to the accident,” Mum said. “And it’s still very nice of him aside from that. He could just leave the whole mess for insurance to clean up.”
“I have a feeling he’s trying to avoid getting insurance involved entirely,” said Dad.
“That doesn’t make any sense,” Mum protested. “He never said anything about Callie not making a claim… a
nd are you suggesting he’s afraid his premiums might increase? You realise how much money his family has, don’t you?”
I felt like I was watching another slow-motion car accident now—well, listening maybe. Even if I’d had something to contribute I couldn’t have made myself break in for anything.
“That Lucas has always had a soft spot for Callie, anyway,” Mum said. “Remember how he used to be around her when they were kids?”
My paralysis was over. “Mum,” I complained. “When are you going to let that go?”
“Oh, Callie,” said Mum, “when was the last time I even mentioned it?”
“Probably about a year ago,” I said, “which is about once a year too many times. It’d be nice if the whole thing would just disappear from oral history.”
“Agreed,” said Dad.
“Simon, your daughter is going to have a boyfriend sooner or later,” Mum said. “You had better get used to it.”
“That doesn’t mean I have to pimp her out to the first young man who has an inheritance and pouts at her like a fish!” Dad snapped.
“I don’t even know if I’m going to accept his offer, Mum,” I said, because hostilities were clearly about to escalate.
“What are you talking about?” Mum said. “Of course you’re going to accept. You have to get to school and work somehow, and I seem to remember you loudly declared you were never taking the bus again, in your life, this morning.”
We had made it home, which put a halt to my taking Dad’s place in the fight against Mum’s lack of common sense. It was a rough claim to make against your own mother, but Dad had already been telling her for years she didn’t have any to speak of.
I guess when I was younger, I used to take her side and think Dad was just being mean to her because she was more fun-loving, but as I started living more in the same world my parents occupied, I realised her kind of wilful ignorance could have done a lot of harm to me if I’d listened too much to her when I was impressionable enough. So I’ve gotten to a point in my life where I’ve moved away from her. I haven’t really moved closer to my dad or anything, though. I guess I’ve just ended up striking out on my own a lot more, which makes sense given I’m technically an adult now and should be finding something other than my parents to be the centre of my life. I just hadn’t worked out exactly what that other something was supposed to be yet.