“Perhaps now you will have another reason to visit New York?” Ida Rose hopefully asked.
“I never visit New York.”
The rest of Ida Rose’s hopes—what had been left of them—crumpled to the ground. No more Tom. No more Elizabeth. No more Gemma. This was truly the end.
“But I will gladly visit you there,” Gemma added. “Give me the time and place and I will be on the next stagecoach.”
Ida Rose smiled wide. “I’ll need some time to settle in.”
Likely, Gemma did not know just what she meant by that. For all Ida Rose knew, it would take her weeks to find work in New York. But that was sad talk. She was leaving tomorrow and did not need to waste any more time sharing her troubles.
“Perhaps we can spend our last day together focusing on all the happy things,” she suggested.
Gemma grinned and wrapped her arm around Ida Rose’s shoulders. “I would like that very much.”
She had only made the suggestion for Gemma’s sake. Ida Rose already knew raising her own spirits would be nearly impossible, but she was determined to try anyway.
24
24. Tom
Chapter Twenty-Four
Dear Tom,
Despite what has happened, despite the tribulations we have faced and the truth that we have uncovered, I wish to make one thing absolutely clear to you: I will always cherish the time we spent together.
You made me feel welcome when I had no home. For that, I am eternally grateful.
I took some time and thought about our conversation. I weighed my options. I have come to love life in Shallow Springs. Though I have been here a very short time, the relationships I have forged are still heart-warming ones. For this reason, I almost decided to remain in the area (taking up accommodations in another home, of course).
Eventually, I decided not to do this. I believe it will be for the best, both for you and me, if I leave Shallow Springs for good.
The stagecoach sets off this afternoon and I will be on it. I do not know where life will take me after I return to New York. I have faith that everything will turn out well in the end. All I know is that I desperately wish the same for you. Not another day of my life will go by where I do not think of you and I do not pray for you.
God bless you,
Ida Rose Lowry
The paper crumpled as Tom’s fingers tightened around it. The letter was short, more reserved than a final goodbye note should have been. But that was Ida Rose. And this was the situation they were in.
“When did she give you this?” he asked Eddie.
“Just thirty minutes ago.” He looked apologetic. The note had been sealed, so Tom knew he hadn’t read it, but likely, he could guess what was in it. Though Tom hadn’t told anyone about Ida Rose being his cousin, rumors flew fast in Shallow Springs. Most likely, the whole area already knew Ida Rose was leaving.
“Oh, and she gave me this, too.” Eddie reached into his pocket, pulled out the diamond ring, and put it into Tom’s hand. “Sorry.” Grimacing, he loped off toward the barns.
Tom closed his hand around the diamond ring, the last stinging reminder of what he had lost.
He had been too hard on her since finding out they were related and he regretted it now. All of this was just as difficult for Ida Rose as it was for him. The least he could do was give her a proper goodbye, to let her know that he too would always think of her fondly.
It would be a good idea, especially if it helped the both of them move on.
Saddling up Chestnut, he rode into town, galloping at first, but then putting the horse into a run when he realized the stagecoach could have already left.
Please be there, he prayed, leaning into the saddle. Just let me see you one last time… to say goodbye the right way.
As they neared town, his breath caught in his throat. What if Ida Rose really had already left? She would probably go thinking that he hated her, as the last time they spoke, he had been so harsh.
Cresting the last hill before town, though, he saw the stagecoach far ahead, idling in front of the hotel. A relieved exhale left Tom, and he allowed the horse to gallop the rest of the way.
Jumping from Chestnut, he barely took time to loop the reins around the hitching post before dashing into the hotel. “Ida Rose? Has anyone seen Ida Rose?” he asked some nearby women, who only shook their heads.
“Tom?”
She was halfway down the staircase, her bags in hand. Big, surprised eyes stared back at him, but their deeper emotions were cloaked. He was no longer privy to what happened inside that head and heart.
“What are you doing?” she asked, her voice and steps both slow.
He waited until she had fully descended the staircase and was only a few feet away to answer. “I needed to see you before you left. That was considerate of you to send a note, and I… I just haven’t been as good to you.”
He looked up at her through his lashes, embarrassed and uncertain. The women who had been standing around were at the other end of the hall, but he had a suspicion they were doing their best to listen in on the conversation.
Ida Rose’s lips were drawn tight. “Let’s go outside.”
Near the front porch, the driver was busy roping bags down to the top of the stagecoach. Ida Rose handed him her own bags and then stepped back, palms nervously rubbing together. “I only thought it was appropriate to say goodbye. I am sorry I did not do it in person. I could have sent for you if I chose to. I simply-”
“Don’t apologize. I understand.”
They gazed solemnly at each other.
“I am going to miss you,” he said.
She made a pained face and he wished he had kept his mouth shut. He had come into town with the intention of making things better between them, not worse.
“Gemma offered to have me live with her.”
“That’s good. But you didn’t want to?”
“I wanted to, but I do not think that would be for the best.”
Tom silently nodded. As much as he wanted Ida Rose close, he knew it was for the wrong reasons. He was still caught up in the romantic feelings he’d had for her. Even when the time of their engagement was years passed, he would likely find it hard to think of her in any other way. Building a relationship as merely cousins seemed hopeless.
A woman wearing a hat covered in flowers made her way to the stagecoach. She looked cosmopolitan, out of place in Shallow Springs; a sign of the world Ida Rose would soon be headed to.
“You should wait,” he said. “To go, I mean. Just for a while. Until the bandits are caught.”
She did not hesitate before shaking her head. “They might never be caught and it is best if I do not wait. Although I have been staying in town, it has still been… hard.”
He didn’t need a further explanation. Ida Rose had already grown attached to life in Shallow Springs. She needed to get out before her inevitable escape became harder to bear. Sometimes, when things were that hard to stomach, even the most dangerous risks were worth it.
“Is that everyone?” the stagecoach driver asked, looking around.
Ida Rose quickly glanced over her shoulder before looking back at Tom. “You are a good man, Thomas Adkins. I hope you find everything you deserve.”
There was a lump in his throat. Not that it mattered. He couldn’t find the right thing to say anyway. Ida Rose lifted her skirts and climbed down from the porch while Tom’s pulse beat in his ears.
No. This was too fast. He hadn’t gotten to tell her... to…
To what?
The stagecoach driver opened the door, and Ida Rose climbed in with the other passengers. There was nothing left to say, and yet, Tom felt as if there was a lifetime of unspoken words between them. There was yet-to-be-experienced laughter over shared jokes. Nights in front of fires. Tears cried and sorrows shared. Joy doubled. All these things that he had felt so sure belonged to them, all these years that were supposed to be theirs…
And he had been wrong about it all.
The stagecoach began to roll away and Ida Rose lifted her hand in a silent goodbye. Her eyes were vacant, her heart no doubt already far removed from him. Tom raised his hand as well, keeping it held in the air as the stagecoach went east out of town. It kicked up dirt, dipping down into the fields that lay near the river. It would not come back up again. He would not see her again.
Tom didn’t know which was heavier, his heart or his feet. As moving was pointless, he plopped down right where he was, taking a seat on the porch steps. Eyes closed, he stared into the darkness. This moment should have been good. It was his new beginning, time to move past Ida Rose Lowry.
But it was only one of the worst moments of his life. The only time he could remember feeling such pain was when his father died.
Boards creaked behind him, but he didn’t open his eyes, instead waiting for the passerby to leave. To his surprise, they sat down right next to him. Cracking an eye, he took in the newcomer.
“Hello, Mother,” Tom said, blinking and looking at his boots. He couldn’t show his face to her. He was her rock, the one who fixed everything that went wrong. If something wasn’t right, he had to hide it.
“She’s gone, isn’t she?”
Tom’s ragged breath tore at his lungs. “Yeah. She’s gone.”
“I miss her.” She sniffed and stared sadly across the street.
But you might not even remember her tomorrow.
It was an unfair thought and he hated that he’d had it. He also hated that, in that moment, he envied his mother for her forgetful state. If only he could close his eyes and forget a person named Ida Rose Lowry had ever existed, he would be much happier.
“She’ll be better off in New York,” he said.
He wanted to believe the statement, but wasn’t so sure he could. Ida Rose had already left New York once, after all, fleeing into the unknown because even that was better than what life back east had presented her with.
The truth was that there was no easy answer—no safe harbor to turn to. Ida Rose was adrift in a ruthless, uncertain world. They both were.
“What about the bandits?” his mother suddenly, fearfully, whispered. She was twisting the cuff of her sleeve around, her eyes glazed and still staring across the street. “They could get her.”
“They won’t get her. Don’t worry.”
Another half-lie. Traveling during such an uncertain time was dangerous. If Tom had had his way, Ida Rose would have stayed a bit longer. He’d known better than to push her, though. The woman was stubborn and she’d been hellbent on leaving.
“Oh, but they are sneaky,” his mother whispered again. Her voice had dropped so low, Tom could barely hear it. “They got me.”
Tom stared at her, fear rippling through him. “What are you talking about, Mother? Did something happen today?”
“No.” She shook her head, then slowly nodded. “But they came years ago. Before you were born.”
Now, he could hardly breath. “Mother...”
“I am not making this up.” She turned, looking at him dead-on.
“I didn’t say you were.”
“They came to the farm… that one with the scar down his eyebrow and some other men.”
“When did this happen? How come you’ve never told me about it?”
She went on as if she had not heard the questions. “That one with the scar… I know you don’t want to hear this, Thomas, but you’re an adult and you should know something I never told anyone but your father.”
“I...” The words would not come. Was she in her confused state?
No. She couldn’t be. Her words were crystal clear, her voice firm. She was more like the mother he’d grown up with.
“That one took advantage of me… He took advantage of me and nine months later, God brought you into the world.” She nodded once more. “Yes, he did. And I love you no matter where you came from. You should know that, too.”
Tom’s ears roared. “Mother, are you telling me that… that Father was not...” He sputtered over the words. “Are you sure? Are you sure that Father is really not...”
“Yes, Tom,” she bristled. “How can you ask a grown woman such a thing? I suppose I know just where babies come from.”
Tom stared. He knew his mouth was hanging open, inviting flies to come right in, but he couldn’t get it closed.
“Did Father know about this?”
She didn’t answer. Realizing how ridiculous the conversation was becoming, he buried his face in his hands. “Mother, you’re confused. Let’s get you inside and have you lay down.”
“I’m not confused, Thomas Adkins,” she snapped.
The steel in her voice made him drop his hands. He stared her down, reading the determination there. And then… he realized what he had to do.
“Wait right here. Don’t move an inch.”
Running into the hotel, he darted up the stairs and to the room his mother was staying in. It was small and packed with belongings, but the Adkins’ family bible was still easy to find. Snatching it up from the bedside table, he rushed back outside.
“What was Father’s paternal grandfather’s name?” he asked, resuming his spot on the steps next to her.
Her brows furrowed and a long moment passed.
She is confused. She doesn’t know what she’s saying.
“Heathcliff Jones Adkins,” she confidently answered.
Tom ran his finger along the handwritten family tree. There it was: Heathcliff Jones Adkins.
“And his sister’s name?”
“That one is easy. Stella.”
Tom nearly dropped the bible. His mother was not suffering from one of her spells. On the contrary, her mind was currently as sharp as a tack. She knew the family history better than he did.
Licking his dry lips, Tom turned to her. His hands were shaking and his heart thudding fast. It was hard to simply think, much less speak. But he needed to. He had to know the truth.
“Mother, are you telling me that this… bandit… he is my real father?”
Her eyes locked on his. “Yes, Tom, that is what I am telling you.”
The gasp that robbed him of his breath was so strong, it nearly knocked him over. His mother, his sweet wonderful mother, had been taken advantage of by a lawless crook… The idea made his stomach churn.
But then, there was the other part to the story. The man Tom called Father was not the one who had sired him.
Which meant he had no blood connection to anyone in his father’s family.
Including Ida Rose.
Placing his hand on his mother’s shoulder, he looked into her eyes. “Mother, I am sorry that happened to you.”
She nodded, her eyes darting away from his.
“We can talk about this more when I return.”
Handing her the bible, he jumped to his feet.
“Where are you going?”
“The stagecoach can’t be that far away yet. I’m going to catch Ida Rose.” Leaping from the steps, he ran for the hitching post. Halfway there, he turned on one last thought. “And I’m going to bring her back home.”
25
25. Ida Rose
Chapter Twenty-Five
Ida Rose stared out the stagecoach’s window at the bouncing landscape. She had not been counting the minutes since they’d left Shallow Springs, but she was certain each one had been more painful than the last. Her eyes burned from holding back tears, and her throat burned from holding back the scream that yearned to rip from it.
Tom was gone. Truly gone. She would never set eyes on him again.
It was for the best. Of course.
But knowing that did not assuage her pain in the slightest.
“Is everything all right, dear?” the lady who had boarded in front of the hotel asked. Next to her, on the other side of the seat, the third passenger—a man—read a newspaper. How he could focus on letters with the jostling going on was beyond Ida Rose.
It took every bit of strength Ida Rose had, but she made
herself smile at the other woman. “Oh, yes. I am just tired, that’s all. And traveling, you know, makes it all the worse.”
“Ah, it does.” She smiled sympathetically. “At least we have each other’s company. Mrs. Edwina Scotts.”
Her Winding Path_Seeing Ranch series_A Historical Romance Page 17