‘But, it’s the twenty-first century! People have rights. Didn’t he have to at least pay maintenance? She should have taken him to court or...’
Leo’s smile was so cold Anna stuttered to an abrupt stop. ‘Assumptia, Val’s mother, was too scared to fight. You have to understand, my father is a very powerful man. No one can force him to do anything he doesn’t want to do. He told her that if she chose to have the baby, it would be her problem alone. Nothing to do with him. My father always keeps his word,’ he added, reaching for his glass of rioja. ‘In the end Assumptia decided that, hard as things were, it would be better for her and Valentina to stay away from my father. To be free.’
Anna swallowed, memories rising for the second time that day, bitter and poignant. ‘That poor woman, pregnant and alone.’ She couldn’t keep a melancholy knowledge from her voice and Leo looked at her sharply. She didn’t return his gaze, keeping her own focussed out to sea. ‘When did you find out that you had a sister? Or have you always known?’
Leo paused as the waiter came over with bread and oil and to take their orders. ‘Assumptia, her mother, came to work for us when I was seven or eight. My parents were absent a lot, and even when they were home they didn’t spend much time with me. The house I grew up in was very old, very large, a little frightening for a young boy with an overactive imagination. I was left alone a lot. Most of the maids didn’t want to bother with a small, silent boy, but Assumptia was kind to me. I loved her very much.’
Anna’s heart ached as she pictured the scene, pictured the small boy alone with no one who really cared for him. Whatever her parents’ faults they had loved Anna and Rosa. True, they argued, but they did their best to provide a stable, loving home. And when Anna was small, when their marriage had worked, life had been wonderful. Even when things began to fall apart, when she had become the peacemaker, she still had had the long summers with her grandparents where she was safe and free. Leo might look as if he had everything in the world—money, looks, a title—but he had grown up with nothing. ‘What happened?’
‘I got back from school and she was gone.’ He shrugged. ‘It wasn’t the first time this had happened. After a while I forgot about her. There were so many different maids, you see, although not all were...kind.’ He paused before he said the word, and Anna shivered in empathy, her throat thick as she listened. ‘Ten years later I was at the coast and stopped at one of the beachside bars for a drink. She brought my beer to my table and I knew her immediately, greeted her as if she were my long-lost relation, which in a way she was.’ His eyes were shadowed as he reminisced.
‘Was she glad to see you?’
‘No, not at first. She seemed cold, cagey, but you see...’ He paused then, as if searching for the right words. ‘The thing is, Anna, at that time I was used to people leaving, to being considered as little more than my name and heritage.’ Anna blinked at the hollowness in his voice and realisation struck her, cold and true. Leo di Marquez y Correa still felt that way. Still assumed people were only interested in who he was, not what he was. Was that why he hid behind his playboy image?
‘Valentina ran over and straight away I knew... The way she looked, her age. Maybe in some way I had always known. There must have been rumours and gossip at the time. Val was around ten, already helping wash dishes, collecting glasses, working while other children played on the beach. I vowed then that she would be able to play, that she would have her childhood, that I would take care of her.’
‘You were eighteen,’ Anna said softly. ‘Not much more than a child yourself.’
‘Old enough.’
She leaned forward, propping her elbows on the table, absorbed in the sad tale. ‘What did you do? Did you talk to your father?’
‘Despite how cold and critical he was, I thought maybe he didn’t know. He always told me that to be a di Marquez was to have honour. That our family was very old, very revered, that I must never let it down.’ His voice dripped bitterness and Anna shivered, reaching for her wine glass. ‘I couldn’t imagine that he would let a child of his wash up at a cheap bar by the shore, let a child of his go hungry. I was wrong. He told me never to mention her existence. Not to be a sentimental fool. That accidents happen, but what matters is keeping them quiet, that I’d learn that as long as I uphold the family name in public, I could do anything I liked in private, that’s how it is for people like us.’
‘Nice,’ Anna murmured, the need to comfort him overwhelming her. She stretched a hand across the table and took his. Leo sat motionless for a second and then his strong fingers enfolded hers, as if she were a lifeline connecting him to the present.
‘My eyes were opened then. The family name I had been brought up to revere was nothing but hypocrisy. My duty was to keep up appearances, to be seen to be responsible, a credit to the family, do the right degree, get the right job, marry a girl whose blood was as blue as mine, ensure there were several heirs, as soon as possible, and in return I would have money to enjoy any vice I wish as long as I was discreet. I wanted no part of it. I decided then that my vices would always be there for the world to see.’
Anna tightened her grip on his, wishing she could find that hurt, lonely boy and make it all right for him—and find his parents and tell them exactly what she thought of them. ‘If we can’t go crazy at eighteen, then when can we?’
Leo’s eyes gleamed. ‘Surely you were never crazy, not even at eighteen, Dr Gray.’
‘Me?’ She didn’t have to think back, the past always with her. ‘I fell in love, totally, wholly, lost myself in love. There’s nothing crazier than that.’
A flicker of something dark passed over his face. For a moment Anna almost thought it was jealousy, although his voice was light and teasing. ‘Love doesn’t sound too bad.’
‘Infatuation is a disease. I lost myself entirely. It was more than bad.’
‘I take it he’s no longer around?’
‘I haven’t seen him in years.’ Truth was she avoided any situation where Sebastian Montague-Hughes might be seen. Even the sight of an arrogant profile resembling his was enough to make her nauseous, her chest tight.
‘Replaced him with a sensible man who ticks every box on your list?’
Anna knew exactly the kind of man she wanted to settle down with one day. Someone reliable, someone with good morals and ethics. Someone safe. Not an entitled rich boy, nor, much as her heart sped up around Leo, an aristocratic Spanish pirate with issues deeper than the seas he sailed. But not yet. ‘My work is my passion now.’ She paused. ‘At least it was.’
‘Was?’
‘I’ve had to be very dedicated to get this far so young. I just can’t help wondering if this is it, can I carry on doing the same thing for the next forty years.’ Sometimes, when Anna looked into the future, she could see the walls closing in, trapping her in a world she wasn’t sure was for her at all. ‘You know, when Mama called and begged me to come and help out I didn’t say yes because I’m the good daughter who always does what’s expected. I said yes because I needed to get away from Oxford for a while. I needed some space.’ She searched for a change of subject, not wanting to think any more about her dilemma. ‘So, number five on Titles magazine’s “Wicked Aristocrats We’d Like to Redeem” list, how is the playboy lifestyle? As much fun as you hoped it would be?’
His smile was pure wickedness. ‘Care to find out?’
Luckily for Anna the waiter brought out their food before she could formulate a response that didn’t involve stammering, blushing, or turning into Dr Gray with a withering put-down. The fish and perfectly grilled vegetables were delicious and, by unspoken accord, they moved on to lighter topics, discussing the plans for the week ahead, how Valentina wanted the decorations to be displayed and how she had first met Todd.
Although Anna was mostly relieved by the change in intensity, part of her was a little frustrated. She sensed that Leo rarely let anyone in, that sh
e was in a privileged position—and that every time he did more and more of her preconceptions were chipped away.
Her preconceptions were her armour, protecting her from a man she was no way equipped to handle. Leo’s arrogance, his bearing, his confidence might in turn be his armour, but they were also part of him, forged while he was young, in anger and defensiveness. He might despise his parents and all they stood for, but there was a pride in his bearing, in his manner, that was all born of an old name, old money and a sense of knowing who he was and what he stood for.
But, like the expert researcher she was, she wanted more. Now he had opened the chink she wanted to reach further inside, to expose all he was, all he felt. She’d been here before—and she’d got it so horribly wrong last time. Was she just repeating the same mistakes? She had assumed there was more to Sebastian, that he had hidden depths, depths only she could find. Assumed she could reform him with love, make him into the man she dreamed he was. She’d been brutally, horribly wrong. If she allowed herself to fall for Leo and be wrong again then it might break her.
But somehow she knew it might be far too late.
* * *
Leo was silent as he escorted Anna back to the boat. It was ironic. Just twelve hours ago he had been looking at a painted wall with complete satisfaction. Now he felt as if he’d spent an hour in the confessional, scourged and empty. Not that he’d been to confession since he’d left his parents’ house. His father still went every week. Did he feel absolved of his sins? Was that why he felt able to carry on with impunity? Leo preferred to carry his with him, companions on a long, weary road.
‘You might as well get some sleep as we sail back,’ he said a little brusquely once they were both safely aboard. ‘It will take a couple of hours to sail back to La Isla Marina at this time of night. The spare cabin is freshly made up—you can sleep there.’
‘It’s very late though,’ Anna pointed out. ‘Why don’t we just stay here and sail back first thing in the morning?’
‘Won’t your mother worry?’
Anna held up her phone. ‘I can text her. The only problem is she will never believe that we’re not, you know...she’ll probably hang out bunting to celebrate.’
Leo arched a brow. ‘You know?’
Folding her arms, Anna threw him a scathing glare. ‘You do know so don’t pretend.’
He did know, and he didn’t want to dwell on the thought. Not when he could imagine it so clearly, could almost taste the lushness of her mouth, feel the silk of her skin under his fingertips. But Leo wasn’t his father, he only slept with women who wanted what he did—a momentary comfort.
He sought for the right tone of his voice, to keep his face relaxed even as his blood heated. ‘She’ll hang out bunting, not be waiting for me with a pitchfork?’
‘With an entire band to welcome us back in style. My mother thinks I’m boring. You probably agree.’
Boring he could handle. Right now he was yearning for boring. ‘Boring? No. Organised? Oh, yes.’ He paused, knowing he should leave the conversation there, but something about the evening’s frank exchanges compelled him to carry on. ‘Afraid? Definitely!’
‘Afraid?’ Anna sounded indignant. ‘Rubbish! Just look at the last two weeks. I took a month’s holiday with no notice to come and help organise a wedding, despite knowing nothing about weddings. I came sailing with you on a moment’s notice...’
‘I take it back.’ Leo held his hands up. ‘You’re a lioness.’
But Anna’s expression clouded. ‘There’s nothing wrong with being careful,’ she said. ‘That’s all I am, not afraid, careful. It’s not fun having your heart broken, not fun seeing your dreams evaporate. Believe me, I’ve tried it.’
With a jolt Leo realised that he hadn’t. He’d never fallen in love and so his heart was completely intact; he’d never had a dream worth following. He’d made money without aim or purpose, finding he was good at it. Maybe by investing in other people’s dreams he tried to inhale them second-hand, but the satisfaction was as muted as the effort.
He laughed at Anna for her lists and caution, but at least she had put herself out there once. Who was the real coward here?
He pushed the unwelcome thought aside. ‘So that’s it, then, you tried it once, it didn’t work and so now you’re going to live your life according to to-do lists? No interruptions or deviations?’ It seemed wrong. There was fire in Anna, he could see it, muted now, damped down, but there. Every now and then a gleam in her eye showed just how hot it could burn if she ever let go. It would be something to see if she ever did, definitely worth getting burned just to bask in her heat.
Moving over to the deck rail, Anna leaned on it, staring out at the starlit sea. ‘I’m not saying I don’t sometimes wish it could be different,’ she said, so softly that he could only just make out her words. ‘Mama and Rosa certainly seem to have more fun. Of course they do. Acting without thought, without consequences, letting someone else always pick up the pieces is by far the better way to live, if you’re lucky enough to be able to.’
‘Why can’t you?’ Leo wandered over and joined her at the rail, his hand lying next to hers.
She laughed. ‘It’s not in my make-up. I need facts, timetables, to explore every option, otherwise I worry and fret. But being the sensible one is exhausting.’ Her voice lowered even more. ‘Lonely.’
‘It doesn’t have to be.’ Leo covered her hand with his, no idea of seduction in his mind, just the need to give comfort as she had comforted him earlier.
‘I don’t know any other way, not any more. I don’t know how to take a risk, how to let anyone in. You’re right, I am a coward.’
‘No.’ His hand tightened over hers. ‘You’ve just left no space in your life for you, that’s all. I know you spent the hour before we went out for dinner ordering groceries for your dad. Your mother has just placed every decision about getting the island ready for the season on your shoulders, even though you have a job and should have a life of your own. You need to learn to say no, Anna.’
‘It’s that easy?’
‘Worth a shot every now and then. What would Sancia have done if you hadn’t come along?’
‘She’d have been all right. A handsome pirate with some keen DIY skills happened to moor up in her harbour the very next day.’
‘Handsome?’
She looked up at him then, a smile finally curving her full mouth. ‘Oh, as if you don’t know. No one spends that much time shirtless if he doesn’t know full well he has swoonworthy abs.’
Leo’s heart slowed, every nerve centred on the palm of his hand, on the warmth of Anna’s slightly roughened hand under his, the delicacy of her bones. ‘You know, I think I’ve told you more of my secrets in one day than I’ve ever told anyone else. That makes you a very dangerous woman, Dr Gray.’
‘Me?’
‘You,’ he confirmed. Was it his imagination, or was the space between them shrinking? He couldn’t see, wasn’t aware of anything but Anna, the touch of her hand in his, those luminous eyes fixed so intensely on his. She’d dropped the scarf once they’d got aboard, her shoulders now almost bare except for the merest sliver of red silk, the dress caressing her like a second skin, swaying with every movement, emphasising the curve of her waist, the length of her legs, the swell of her breasts. He swallowed. ‘It’s most unfair,’ he said hoarsely.
‘Are you scared?’
The space had definitely shrunk down to just her, moon-bright under the midnight sky.
‘Scared?’
‘I am,’ she whispered. ‘Scared that I won’t live with myself if I kiss you. More scared that I won’t live with myself if I don’t.’
‘Anna.’ He couldn’t believe he was about to say this, that he wasn’t tasting her, touching her right now. ‘I don’t do relationships. I might not be the party-going playboy the world thinks I am, but I’m a strictly no-s
trings man. Save your kisses for someone who deserves them.’
‘Leo, relax. I’m not asking for an engagement ring. I’m not even asking for a date. I just want to be someone different for one night. No to-do lists, no plans.’ She bit her lip, her cheeks flushed. ‘I mean, obviously there’s a few things we’d need to think about. Ground rules, contraception...’
‘I thought,’ Leo said slowly, trying to rein in the blood thundering around his body, to silence the voice in his head yelling at him to just kiss her already, ‘you were talking about a kiss...’
The flush heightened. ‘As a universally agreed starting-off point, but I’d be willing to see where it led. It’s never too early to talk about contraception. We’re both adults, aren’t we?’
Dios mio. Did she have any idea what she was saying? Leo tried desperately to recall all the reasons he needed to stay away, but they had slipped beyond his reach. ‘Anna.’ It was a question and an entreaty all bound up in her name.
‘I know what I’m doing. Do you want me, Leo?’
‘I don’t think there’s a man alive who wouldn’t want you tonight, Anna.’
‘Then stop overthinking. That’s my role.’
Leo stood, fighting for control. He’d promised himself that Anna was safe with him—he hadn’t expected her to be so upfront, so unafraid. ‘You’re sure?’
Her fingers curled around his as she nodded, and then his mouth was finally on hers, sweet, a little uncertain as she stood rigid for the first second until, with a small gasp, she yielded against him, her body pliant, moulding into his as the kiss intensified. Freed by her response, Leo crushed Anna closer, one hand sliding through her thick wavy hair, the other slipping around her waist. It was as if she was made to kiss him, every inch of her fitting him exactly, the softness of her breasts against his chest, her leg winding around his as she pressed ever closer.
He’d never been so stirred by a simple kiss, never been brought down by the merest touch, never been so undone by a woman’s response. Leo didn’t have a home, but somehow he knew that kissing Anna was the closest he would get. In a dim recess of his mind he knew that he needed to put a stop to this now, that he needed to walk away. But it was too late. He was lost.
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