“When did you, the very spirit of optimism, become such a pessimist? Sure, it was hard on all of them back then,” Carrie said. “But it’s turned out okay in the end. Focus on that.”
“Happiness might reign now, but they all paid a terrible price,” Caitlyn contradicted. “Even Grandpa Mick.”
“It’s different,” Carrie insisted. “We’re talking about one child, not five. Don’t you think Noah—a family-practice doctor, for heaven’s sake—is more than capable of child care? Or how about the million and one O’Briens who are always happy to pitch in? Hey, for that matter, what’s wrong with spinster aunt Carrie looking out for the little one while you save the world?”
Caitlyn rolled her eyes. “You’re hardly a spinster aunt. In fact, if you weren’t hiding out here with me, you’d have a new man in your life by now,” she said, seizing on the change of topic like a lifeline. “We both know you’re over the breakup with Marc. He simply isn’t worth any more grieving.”
“I can certainly agree with that,” Carrie said, then breathed a sigh. “Finally. Better late than never to figure that out, huh?”
“Then get back out there. Start dating again.”
“I need a breather,” Carrie said. “Ever since my first day in college I’ve been ridiculously single-minded about finding the right man and getting married. How many times did you get on my case about that and, much as it pains me to admit it, you were right. Look where it’s gotten me. I’ve let myself be defined by the men I’ve been seeing. I don’t even know who I really am or what I want aside from marriage and a family.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that goal,” Caitlyn told her. “You just got a little obsessed with it to the exclusion of everything else. And who’s to say there’s not the perfect guy who’ll be totally in favor of your being a stay-at-home mom if that’s what you want?”
She took the time to truly study her sister. Carrie, who’d never lacked for self-confidence, looked surprisingly lost. “Is a family still what you really want, Carrie?”
“I honestly don’t know anymore.” She sighed deeply. “Do you have any idea how much I envy you? You’ve always known exactly what you wanted. You set your goals that first summer after you volunteered in Appalachia. You made me feel like such a slacker because not only weren’t my goals as noble, I didn’t have a single one that I felt passionate about, at least in terms of a career.”
“I’ve been obsessed with my career the same way you were driven to get married,” Caitlyn told her. “Maybe we’re both finally realizing that life isn’t about either/or. Nell would tell us it’s about making compromises and choices and maybe taking a completely unexpected path. She’d be reminding us we have to keep our hearts and our minds open if we’re going to get the most out of life.”
Carrie’s expression suddenly brightened. “You know what I need? I need a dose of our great-grandmother’s wisdom. I think I’ll go to Chesapeake Shores tomorrow.”
“You do realize that Nell’s wisdom will also come with Grandpa Mick’s meddling,” Caitlyn warned.
“He has my cell phone number, so I’m getting that here,” Carrie said with a shrug. “If our grandfather starts getting on my nerves, I’ll tell Trace or Mom to call him off.”
“You’re delusional if you think either of them have any influence over Grandpa Mick. If you want him to butt out, go to Grandma Megan or Nell,” Caitlyn advised. “He occasionally listens to them, and I stress the word occasionally.”
Carrie regarded her worriedly. “Will you be okay if I go? With Noah leaving, maybe you shouldn’t be here alone.”
Caitlyn frowned. “Of course. Why would you think otherwise?” A terrible thought occurred to her. “Have you been here all this time because Mom and the others were worried about me?”
“Mom might have mentioned that my sticking around could help,” Carrie said. “She thought you might need a sounding board. Even though we’re as different as night and day, nobody knows us as well as we know each other.”
Caitlyn laughed. “And Noah thought I’d planted you here as a buffer. To be honest, I wasn’t so sure I hadn’t.”
“Well, if you need me to stick around in any capacity, I will.”
“Not necessary. Noah will be on his way to Chesapeake Shores any day now himself. Maybe with both of you gone, I’ll be able to hear myself think. I need to figure out why I can’t take that final leap of faith into marriage.”
Carrie frowned at that. “It’s when you overthink things that you get into trouble. If you want my final piece of advice, which I know you don’t, just take the plunge and marry the man. You can figure out all the rest later.”
Caitlyn shook her head. “You’re the impulsive one, not me.”
“And right now that’s not much of a recommendation,” Carrie concluded with a sigh. “Okay, then, think away. I’m going to make more popcorn.”
“Double the butter,” Caitlyn called after her.
Right this second, buttery popcorn, Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers were all she wanted to think about. Everything else seemed way too complicated.
* * *
Noah had his car loaded up with the last of his belongings. He’d said his farewells to everyone at the hospital. Jill was the last one on his list.
“Don’t you bother saying goodbye to me,” she said, even as she gave him a fierce hug. “Thanks to Caitlyn’s presence, I imagine I’ll be seeing you around here for a good long while. If I don’t, I know how to find Chesapeake Shores.”
“You get lost coming to work,” Noah teased.
“Which is why I have an excellent GPS in my car,” she retorted.
“Are you absolutely sure you don’t want to come down there and whip my office into shape?” he asked. Though he was only half-serious, he knew he’d never find a nurse who’d be even half as dedicated.
“As much as I’d love to move to a small town and boss you around, I’m needed right here,” she told him. “The residents and interns need me to keep them in line and the hospital needs me to keep this floor running smoothly. To say nothing of the fact that my husband would probably object to me running away with a younger man. Come to think of it, Caitlyn might have a few reservations of her own if she knew I’d always harbored a secret yearning to run off with you.”
“No way,” Noah said. “She knows exactly how invaluable you’ve been to me around here. I doubt she’d begrudge you any fantasies you claim to have envisioned.”
Jill actually blushed at the compliment.
Noah held her gaze. “Will you do something for me?”
“Anything,” she said at once.
“Keep an eye on Cait for me,” he requested. “She’s going to push herself to do everything that’s asked of her.”
“And you’re worried that she won’t cut herself any slack because of her pregnancy,” Jill concluded.
Noah wasn’t surprised that she knew. He assumed she’d been among the first to figure it out, long before that telling baby bump had appeared. What was surprising was that she hadn’t mentioned it before now. It was yet more proof that she was capable of discretion when it was called for.
“She won’t want any special favors,” he confirmed.
“And I admire her for that,” Jill said. “But I will watch out for her. That baby she’s carrying is going to be pretty amazing with your genes and hers.” She studied him. “I know I’m heading onto dangerous turf, but why aren’t the two of you already married?”
“It’s complicated. She’ll be here. I’ll be in Chesapeake Shores.”
She gave him a disbelieving look. “It’s about distance? I don’t believe that for a second.”
Noah bent down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I appreciate your protective instincts, but we’re going to work this out, Jill. You can stop fretting.”
“What would I do with myself if I didn’t fret over my residents and interns? You’re all like family to me. And moms never stop worrying about their kids. I just want you to be happy, Noah. You’re meant to have a family.”
“And one of these days I’ll have that,” he assured her. “With Cait.”
She sighed. “I surely hope so, if that’s what you want. Now, go find your girl before I get all misty-eyed and dream up some excuse to keep you right here where I can watch over you.”
“There’s nobody I’d rather have watching my back,” he told her. “You really are the best friend any doctor around here could have.”
He walked away then, not looking back till he came to the end of the hall. When he cast one last glance over his shoulder, he saw her wiping her eyes. Even so, when she caught him looking at her, she managed a bright smile and a wave.
“You’re one in a million,” he called back.
“Send a note for my personnel file,” she replied, then bustled away, off to meet another group of green interns and a new staff of residents.
* * *
Caitlyn hadn’t expected it to be so hard to say goodbye to Noah. When he arrived at her apartment, she saw that his car was loaded with his belongings and suddenly had to face the fact that he wouldn’t be around anymore. She hadn’t realized just how much she’d come to count on his presence. On a professional level, he’d offered advice and the support she’d needed on the most difficult days. On a personal level, he’d come to mean so much more. A quick touch on her cheek, a stolen kiss in the on-call room, always left her smiling. Nights in the same bed had been amazing. That was where she’d discovered just how deep passion could run.
And while there were bound to be difficult days ahead as she continued her internship and residency, she finally understood that what she’d miss the most was simply his unfailing support of her, the love she’d come to count on seeing in his eyes when they passed each other in the hallways at the hospital or before they fell asleep in each other’s arms at night.
“Okay, let me warn you ahead of time,” she said, settling next to him on the sofa, her head on his shoulder. “I’m going to have another one of those incredibly selfish moments right now.”
“Duly warned,” he said with a smile.
“I wish you were staying right here,” she admitted. “I know I said you needed to follow your dream and had to be convinced that Chesapeake Shores fit into that, but now I want you here, in the big city, where I can see you every day.”
He tucked a finger under her chin. “And I wish you were coming with me to Chesapeake Shores,” he said. “But we’re both doing exactly what we need to do right now.”
“Are you sure you want to be in my hometown with my grandfather bugging you every ten minutes about marrying me?”
“I’m tough enough to handle Mick,” he said with certainty. “We’ve reached an understanding.”
Caitlyn shuddered. “Why does that strike terror in my heart?”
“Because you know that eventually you’ll reach the same conclusion that he and I have reached, that you and I belong together.”
She heaved a resigned sigh. “I probably will,” she conceded.
Noah chuckled. “You’d be rough on my ego if I weren’t so sure that this is going to go my way eventually.”
“I’m not just being stubborn,” she told him, hoping with all her heart that was true. She tried to explain. “If and when we get married, Noah, I need to know we can make it work. I don’t want to do what’s conventional or reasonable or convenient. And I really don’t want to get married because it’s what my family expects. We’d be doomed, Noah. You get that, right?”
“I do get it,” he said.
“I am going to miss you like crazy, though.”
“I’m only going to be a short drive away,” he told her. “Anytime you need me, all you have to do is call. And I’ll be here for all the doctor appointments.” He patted his pocket. “Every one of them is already on the calendar on my cell phone.”
“Of course they are,” she said, smiling. “You’re very efficient that way.”
He gave her a stern look. “I assume they’re all on yours, as well, right?”
She grabbed her phone from the coffee table. “Check for yourself.”
He shook his head. “I trust you, Cait.”
“I don’t know why. I’ve certainly given you lots of reasons to question me lately.”
“You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t need to analyze everything and reach your own conclusions. It’s the same trait that’s going to make you such a great doctor.”
She regarded him with surprise. “Great? You think so?”
“I know so,” he said emphatically. “You’re compassionate and you’re an excellent diagnostician. That’s a pretty incredible combination.”
Pleased, she nudged him with her elbow. “You’re not half-bad yourself,” she said. “I’ve been learning from the best.”
“Okay, enough of the mutual admiration,” he said, standing and pulling her to her feet. “I need to hit the road. I want to get down there and get the car unloaded before dark.”
“I imagine you’ll have plenty of help,” she told him. “I have it on good authority there will be an O’Brien welcoming committee on hand. For all I know they’ve scheduled their annual physicals with your new receptionist already.”
Noah looked startled by that. “Seriously?”
“Knowing Grandpa Mick, it’ll be his way of sending a message to the entire community. Trust me, you’re going to be very successful.”
“I suppose there are worse fates for a new doctor in town than having the support of the town founder,” Noah said.
“Well, none of those fates are likely to befall the father of an O’Brien great-grandchild. As long as you stick with the program Grandpa Mick has in mind for the two of us, there will be only cheers to greet you in Chesapeake Shores.”
He studied her closely. “What about you, Cait? What fate awaits you next time you come for a visit?”
She shuddered at the thought. “Nothing good until we announce a wedding date,” she said direly. “Which is why I’m not setting foot in town.”
Noah looked taken aback by the vehemence in her voice. “You can’t mean that.”
“Oh, but I do. I know I’m disappointing everyone. I just can’t bear to see it in their eyes.”
“They love you,” Noah corrected. “They’re not judging you.”
“I know they love me,” she agreed. “I’m not so sure about the judgment part. But I do know for certain that they’re disappointed that I haven’t done what they view as the sensible thing yet. I hear it in Grandpa Mick’s voice every time we talk. I’m actually starting to look forward to him leaving for Africa.”
“And when will that be?”
“He, Grandma Megan and Carrie are going to look over a couple of the villages in September. He wants to talk to the doctors and get a sense of what they really need and what sort of help he can count on before he finalizes his designs for the medical facilities.”
“You don’t seem to be as upset about that as you were before,” Noah said.
“I’m making peace with it,” she agreed, then smiled ruefully. “About time, wouldn’t you say?”
“Your turn will come, Cait,” Noah said with conviction. “And when it does, you’ll do amazing things.”
She wished she were half as certain of that as he seemed to be. She felt their baby kick and rested her hand atop her belly. For now, she had a pretty amazing project under way right here. She needed to keep reminding herself of that.
* * *
When Noah drove up to his new home and office, thanks to Cait’s warning, he wasn’t surprised to find Mick, Connor, Kevin and Trace awaiting him.
“I see you’ve rallied the troops,” he said to Mick as he exited his car. He paused to shake hands with Trace, too, hoping to win him over eventually. His silence the past few weeks had been worrisome. “Are you all here to help or is this a lynch mob?”
Mick scowled at his attempt at humor. “So far we’re all on your side,” he told Noah, then gave him a hard look. “That could change in a heartbeat, though.”
Kevin put an arm around Mick’s shoulders and grinned at Noah. “Pay no attention to my father. You won’t die at his hands, at least not until after you’ve made an honest woman of Caitlyn.”
“Something I’m all in favor of doing,” Noah assured them.
“Which is why you’re still in one piece,” Mick said. “Now let’s get your things inside. Ma’s got dinner waiting at my place.”
“I wouldn’t say no to one of Nell’s meals,” Noah said eagerly.
“None of us would,” Connor chimed in. “There are very few in the family who can match her skill in the kitchen, though my brother here has come close. Kevin seems to have inherited her knack for cooking.”
“I spent a lot of time cooking when I was an EMT,” he said with a shrug. “Firefighters and paramedics need good hearty food and most of them were useless with everything except spaghetti or take-out pizza and Chinese food. And Gram would have taught all the rest of you to cook, too, if you hadn’t behaved like big sissies about it being women’s work.”
“Which not a one of us would ever have dared to say to her,” Connor admitted with a shudder. “I hate to think of her reaction to such an excuse. And you seem to be forgetting that Abby, Jess and Bree didn’t exactly take to preparing anything edible, either.”
Mick chuckled. “Yeah, Ma does think of the kitchen as an equal opportunity domain, even if she does tend to kick out anyone who doesn’t measure up to her standards. She’s despaired of ever getting a decent meal from my Meggie. For all her talents in other areas, Meggie is hopeless in the kitchen. Sadly all the girls seem to have taken after her.”
The Christmas Bouquet Page 16