When his last patient had left for the day, he pulled his phone out of his pocket, turned it on and found several messages from Cait. One would have been a surprise. The six he found came as a shock.
Heart pounding with fear and without listening to a single message, he hit speed dial for her number. She answered on the first ring, which only kicked his anxiety level up another notch.
“What’s wrong?” he asked at once, panic threading through his voice. “Is it the baby? Are you cramping? Bleeding? You haven’t gone into labor already, have you? It’s too soon.”
“It’s none of those things,” she responded. “The baby and I are fine. Why would you think otherwise?”
“Six messages, Cait. You haven’t called for days and now, all of a sudden, I get six messages. What did you imagine I’d think?”
“I thought you’d listen to the actual messages, not jump to conclusions,” she told him, her tone wry. “Obviously you didn’t do that. I’m really sorry if I worried you.”
Noah felt his heart rate finally slow to something close to normal. “There’s no crisis?”
“No crisis,” she confirmed.
“Then what is going on?”
She was silent for what seemed like an eternity.
“Cait? For you to call that many times, there had to be something on your mind.”
“I spoke to Carrie earlier,” she revealed slowly.
Noah didn’t get the significance. “Okay,” he responded, then waited.
“She said you, she and Mom had gone furniture shopping.”
He couldn’t imagine why that was a news bulletin. She’d pushed him to do exactly that. “We went to a few stores,” he confirmed.
“Did you find anything?”
“We picked out a new sofa and a matching chair,” he replied, still bewildered by her odd reaction to the shopping expedition.
“Good,” she said, though without much enthusiasm. “That old sofa was a nightmare.”
“It was,” he agreed. “Cait, does it bother you that I went shopping with your mom and Carrie? You did say you weren’t interested in going with me.”
“That was before,” she began, then cut herself off. “Never mind.”
“Before what?”
“Before I realized that my sister finds you attractive,” she blurted.
Noah held the phone away from his ear and stared at it, not quite believing what he was hearing. “Carrie? Are you kidding me?”
“She told me so herself,” Cait insisted. “And it would make sense that you could fall for her. After all, we are identical twins, and she’s not all fat and swollen and cranky these days.”
Noah closed his eyes and counted to ten. Otherwise, he was likely to burst out laughing. “Sweetheart, I am not interested in your sister. She might look like you, but the resemblance ends there. Not to mention the fact that you are carrying my child, which ties you and me together in a way that will last forever. That bond means something to me.”
“I’m sure Carrie would be happy to give you a child,” she said. “She’s always wanted a husband and family. You’d be a perfect match.”
Noah wasn’t sure how much longer he could control his desire to laugh. He’d finally realized that Cait, who under normal circumstances was the most rational, stable woman he’d ever met, was actually pea-green with jealousy. The jealousy might be misdirected and ridiculous, but it was the most promising conversation they’d had in ages. He was tempted to run with it, but he knew that no good came from fanning jealousy, no matter how flattering it might be on the surface.
“I love you, Cait,” he said solemnly. “Nothing’s changed for me. It’s not going to, either.”
“But one of these days you’re bound to lose patience with my indecision,” she said. “I can’t blame you, either. It’s taking me an absurdly long time to sort through what’s going on and get to a solution that makes sense for all of us. It took you about a nanosecond to get there.”
“Because, as you once pointed out, this baby fit very neatly into my dream,” he reminded her. “And you are the heart and soul of my future.”
“Noah, sometimes you say the sweetest things.” She sighed. “I think that’s what scares me so much. You keep telling me I’m the center of your world and I believe you mean that. Shouldn’t I be able to say the same thing about you?”
Noah could actually understand the depth of her struggle. “Here’s how I see it,” he told her. “I always knew that I wanted three things: a medical practice in a small town where I could be a real part of a community, a woman I loved with all my heart, and children. With you, our baby and Chesapeake Shores, I’m getting all of that, and more.”
“More?”
“The whole O’Brien support system and the promise of huge holiday gatherings,” he told her. “Even the meddling is a blessing because it shows just how much your family cares. I wish you could see it through my eyes and appreciate it even half as much as I do.”
“Me, too,” she admitted.
“Hear me out,” he told her. “You take all of that part for granted. You’ve been surrounded by it your whole life. Your priority for the future has always been based on your enormous, generous heart. You found a mission you believed in and you’ve spent the past few years totally focused on making it happen. Marriage and a family weren’t on your radar the way they were on mine. It’s little wonder that our relationship caught you by surprise.”
“It was a shock, all right.”
He smiled at the dismay he heard in her voice. Cait obviously wasn’t a big fan of surprises, not when she had her life all mapped out. He’d been a big one, but the baby had been monumental.
“You need time to adjust your thinking,” he said. “Believe me, I get that. If I didn’t believe you’d make that adjustment eventually, I’d have pushed for some sort of custody arrangement and let you go long before now. I’m patient, but I’m not a masochist.”
“You could be a saint,” she told him. “There are rumors in my family to that effect.”
Noah laughed. “Not with these thoughts I have running through my head about you. Believe me, there’s nothing remotely saintly about those.”
Cait laughed at last. “Are you absolutely sure those images aren’t of Carrie?”
“Very sure. You’re the one with the ripe-melon belly and the glow.”
“There you go talking about that glow again,” she said with mock exasperation.
“I like knowing that maybe I’m a little bit responsible for it,” he said.
“Well, you’re definitely responsible for the belly.”
“I love you,” he said again. He hesitated for a minute, then decided maybe it was finally time to reveal something he’d been keeping to himself, something that might help to convince her just how serious he was about the choice he’d made to move to Chesapeake Shores. Maybe it would convince her of the true depths of his feelings.
“You’ve gone awfully quiet,” Cait said, interrupting his thoughts.
“Do you remember me talking about Dennis Logan?”
“Your mentor in med school? Sure. Have you heard from him?”
“I had a call from him a few months back, around the same time you found out you were pregnant.”
“Oh?”
“He’d had an inquiry from a town in West Virginia that was in desperate need of a physician. He thought the job might appeal to me. He said it was exactly the sort of situation I’d always talked about.”
“Oh, Noah,” she protested, sounding dismayed. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because I knew it would freak you out to think that I was giving up my so-called dream job.”
“But that’s exactly what you did apparently. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t you dare b
e sorry,” he said fiercely. “I’m telling you now because I want you to understand that dreams, even the very best and most noble ones, can evolve and turn into something that’s much better. That’s how I feel about being here in Chesapeake Shores and having you and our baby in my life. It’s the best trade-off ever. I think if you open your heart just a little bit, you might be able to look at the future the same way. There’s a way for you to have everything you ever wanted, Cait. The only real sacrifice might be that it won’t be on your timetable. Will you think about that?”
Silence greeted the question. “Cait?”
“I’ll think about it,” she said. “I promise.”
“That’s all I’m asking. Now, go get something to eat. I suspect letting your imagination run wild and all of this overthinking has left you starving.”
“Not me, but the baby is a little hungry,” she said. “He or she seems to be craving a pepperoni pizza.”
Noah winced. “At this hour? How about some roasted veggies instead of the pepperoni?” he coaxed. “Though even with that, there’s a good chance you’ll never get to sleep.”
“Sleep is highly overrated,” she claimed. “That’s the first thing they taught us in medical school.”
“I doubt they were talking about interns who are nearly eight months pregnant,” Noah said.
“I know you have very impressive medical credentials,” Cait replied, “but your kid is demanding pepperoni pizza. Love you.”
“Good night, sweetheart.”
He clicked off his phone, smiling as he did so. As crazy as the entire conversation had been, he was actually starting to see the finish line ahead and was pretty sure they’d be crossing it together.
* * *
Two weeks after her conversation with Noah in which she’d revealed just how insanely jealous she’d gotten because of an offhand remark by her sister, Caitlyn was still struggling to figure out the rest of her life. Noah’s revelation about that job he hadn’t even looked into left her feeling ashamed that it was taking her so long to find the same sort of magical, satisfying compromise.
She’d also spent days considering the possibility that she just might owe Carrie an apology, but she hadn’t made that call. She figured her sister needed to stew awhile for planting those seeds of doubt in her head. She had a hunch it had been deliberate. She also thought she detected Grandpa Mick’s hand in the plot.
Alone after another twenty-four-hour shift at the hospital, she sat in her apartment staring at the walls and wondering how things had gotten so twisted around in her head, to say nothing of the actual disruptions to her well-considered plan for her life.
It was crazy that she was here, alone, her baby growing in her belly, while Noah was down in Chesapeake Shores setting up a medical practice. She’d stubbornly resisted accepting his invitations to come home for a weekend to see the renovations to the house he’d bought, the furniture he’d chosen, anything that might even hint that she was ready to accept the situation and move forward with a life with him in Chesapeake Shores.
Maybe it was irrational, but she had a feeling once she crossed the threshold of that house, the decision about the future would be ripped out of her hands.
In the meantime, though, she hadn’t been able to keep herself from peeking at the house online. As soon as she’d caught Noah there with Connor and realized his intention, she’d gone on the real estate website to take the tour she’d refused to take in person. Even though the renovations remained a mystery, she could picture every nook and cranny of the house.
She could envision every detail of the street it was on, just a block off Main in downtown Chesapeake Shores. The house itself was one of the traditional beach cottages Grandpa Mick had designed when he’d developed the town. There was a wide porch. Mature trees in the yard provided shade and flowerpots filled with bright red geraniums had been left behind by the previous owner. It was a home just right for a family, she thought with a troubling sense of longing. There was little doubt that she could move right in and find happiness with Noah and their child.
But at what cost? It would be the end of that dream she’d been so passionate about. No matter what anyone else believed, she knew she couldn’t do it justice by half measures. Whatever she did with her future, she had to be fully, one hundred percent committed to it.
A knock on the door snapped her out of her reverie. She opened it to find her mom standing there.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, startled by the unexpected visit. “Is everyone okay?”
“Everyone’s fine. May I come in?”
“Of course,” she said, stepping aside. “I’m just surprised to see you. Generally you don’t pop in unannounced. And you’ve been amazingly silent recently. Not even a phone call.”
Abby smiled. “I thought you’d be grateful for that. I’m sure your grandfather hasn’t been nearly so reticent.”
Caitlyn laughed. “Of course not. So, what brings you by?”
“I thought you might be feeling lonely,” Abby told her, studying her closely. “With your sister and Noah both gone, this place must seem pretty empty.”
Caitlyn sighed and nodded. “I miss Noah.” She regarded her mother curiously. “Have you seen him?”
“A few times. Dad’s insisted he come to Sunday dinners with the family.”
For some reason that made Caitlyn feel even worse, as if they’d taken Noah in, and left her out. Apparently her irrational thinking knew no bounds these days. She could blame it on pregnancy hormones, but she had a hunch she had her own recent insecurities to thank.
Her mother smiled. “I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking we’ve somehow taken his side over yours.”
“Haven’t you?”
“I’d like to think there aren’t sides. I believe there’s a solution that can work for both of you, but I get the feeling you’ve stopped trying to find it.”
Caitlyn frowned. “Just because I haven’t dropped everything and moved down to Chesapeake Shores?”
“Nobody ever expected you to do that,” Abby said impatiently.
“Oh, please,” Cait said. “That’s exactly what Grandpa Mick wants.”
Abby smiled. “One of these days, Dad has to figure out that he can’t always get his way. The point is that you should have made a commitment to Noah by now.” She leveled a hard look at Caitlyn. “Or let him go.”
Caitlyn regarded her mother with dismay. “You think I should break up with Noah? Why? So he can move on with Carrie?”
Now it was her mother’s turn to look stunned. “What would ever give you the idea that Noah and Carrie want to get together?”
“She practically told me as much,” Caitlyn said. “Noah thought I was crazy, too.” She shrugged. “I probably was. I suspect I jumped to exactly the conclusion I was meant to jump to.”
“So that explains why Noah’s been giving Carrie these odd looks,” Abby said thoughtfully.
“Odd as in interested?” Caitlyn asked, her heart once again thumping unsteadily.
“Of course not,” her mother said impatiently. “Odd as if something strange were going on. Since I know with absolute certainty that your sister thinks you belong with Noah, I can’t imagine her doing or saying anything to give you a different impression.”
They both fell silent. Abby suddenly looked as if a lightbulb had switched on in her head.
“Your grandfather is behind this,” she said. “I’d put money on it.”
Caitlyn was almost relieved that her mom had reached the same conclusion that she had. “You think Grandpa Mick got Carrie to plant that idea in my head?”
“Don’t you?”
“As a matter of fact, once I calmed down, I thought exactly that. Carrie would never have done anything like that on her own and it is exactly the sort of thing Grandpa Mic
k would do. He loves to stir the pot until he gets his way.”
Her mother nodded. “No question about it. Trust me, I’ll have a word with him when I get home. Now, let’s get back to the real issue why you haven’t told Noah you’ll marry him. The man is crazy in love with you. Just look at what he’s done to prove it. He bought a home in the town you love. He’s opened a medical practice there. He’s getting to know the family he knows is important to you. How can you not realize that he’s done all of this for you?”
“I know you’re right, but it feels like a trap,” Caitlyn said. “Ironically, he told me just the other night that he didn’t even look into a dream job that came his way because of me and the baby. I know he thought there was a lesson in there for me about compromise, but it just added to my guilt.”
“Guilt? What on earth are you talking about?”
“He’s made this grand sacrifice and I’m holding out.”
“You’re not holding out exactly,” her mom said in her defense. “You’re exploring all your options. Sometimes it’s possible to get so bogged down in that process that you can’t see the answer that’s right in front of you.”
She picked up the notebook Caitlyn had left sitting on the coffee table and flipped through the pages and pages of pro-con lists, her attempts to find a balance between goals and reality. “Exactly as I thought. Have these helped?”
“Not really,” Caitlyn admitted. “Did you get bogged down in all the choices when Trace wanted you to get married? I might have been a kid back then, but it seems to me you panicked when he bought that house without talking it over with you.”
Her mother flushed at the reminder. “That was different.”
“How?”
“My life was still in New York. I hadn’t agreed to marry Trace at that point.”
Caitlyn just looked at her until her mom sighed.
“Okay, it was exactly the same,” Abby said. “But looking at it in hindsight, I was an idiot. Don’t you be one, too.”
“Do as I say, not as I do,” Caitlyn suggested, using words she’d had thrown in her face about a million times as a kid.
The Christmas Bouquet Page 19