by T L Swan
She shakes her head. “No, not lie … just not mention it and then if it comes to him having to know, I will tell him and I will pretend that you didn’t know anything about it … I swear I will never implicate you in any of this mess.”
I rub my hands through my hair. “Margaret, I wish you hadn’t told me,” I whisper angrily.
She nods. “I know but I had to, you were both so devastated. I have never seen a love like yours Natasha. You really are soulmates … I believe that … you believe that … Joshua knows that. How could I keep it from you? Keep you from each other when I knew the truth.”
I frown as I drain my coffee cup. I put my head into my hands on the table. “This is fucked up Margaret, and I’m a psychologist … I deal with fucked up well.”
She smiles and grabs my hand. “I know dear. I’m sorry to put you in this situation but what choice do I honestly have? If you can think of another way out of this where Joshua doesn’t get hurt please let me know. I’ll be all for it.” I sit in silence for ten minutes quietly drinking my second coffee as I wrack my brain for another avenue to follow. I’ve got nothing. I nod as I blow out a heavy breath in resignation. She’s right … there is no way out of it. I have no choice but to lie. Joshua deserves better.
Chapter 4
At five-thirty I return to Joshua’s room to find it empty. His belongings, my fold-up bed, everything … gone.
Max and I are puzzled until a nurse approaches us. “Are you Natasha Stanton?” she asks.
I smile proudly. “Yes.”
“Your husband has been moved upstairs to the private wing and asked me to let you know where he is.”
“Oh ok, thank you,” I reply.
“Take the lift up to level seven and then you will see a large set of grey doors with a security code on your right. Push the buzzer and you will be buzzed in,” she answers.
I smile again. “Ok thanks.” We ride the lift in silence. My mind is heavily weighed down by Margaret’s story t. I can’t believe I actually feel sorry for her. Can you imagine what it must be like to hold a secret like that in for twenty-seven … actually, no, she said she found out when he was sixteen, so eleven years. And it is such a bad secret … my poor baby, he has no idea. God, this is such a mess. Have I done the right thing agreeing to keep this quiet? What if he finds out later that I knew all along and then leaves me for deceiving him? It’s entirely possible. I’m just as bad as his mother … but what choice do we have? It’s him we are protecting. What a fucking nightmare. We arrive at the security doors and a janitor is cleaning the foyer near the double doors.
Max speaks first. “Natasha Stanton to see her husband.” I smile at the floor—that sounds really, really good.
The bored receptionist’s voice echoes through the speaker. “Yes, come in.” The doors open. We reach the receptionist’s desk. “I would like to see my husband. Which room is he in?”
“Of course, the last door on the right.” I smile at Max and we head down the corridor towards the last door on the right and it opens to a large private lounge area complete with television, cable and a kitchen.
I frown at Max. “This is random.” He smiles and nods. There is a cleaner in there restocking the kitchen.
“Hello,” I smile.
She smiles. “Hello.”
I frown at her. “What are these large rooms? Where are the hospital rooms?”
“This is the private wing for celebrities who need more privacy from the press, and more room for their bodyguards and things.”
My eyes widen. “Oh,” I reply, shocked. Jeez … this is so … over-the-top Hollywood.
“Yes, most of the LA celebrities have been in here at one point or another for substance abuse issues.” My eyes drop to the floor. Yes, like my so-called husband.
“Hmm I see, where is my husband?” This gossipy bitch is starting to piss me off.
“The door to his room is around the corner next to the television.” I nod and head in that direction.
“Tash, I will just stay out here tonight, ok?” Max states.
I turn and frown at him. “Max, that’s not necessary. Go home honey. I will be fine. Nobody can get in here. There is security. It’s safe here.”
Max narrows his eyes. “No, I will be staying. I’m good. I will watch the game on the screen.” My eyes flick to the gossipy kitchen girl who is now listening to our conversation. Buzz off big ears.
“I will be out to see you soon,” I reply as he flops into the lounge chair. I walk into the room and my jaw drops. Bloody hell, this room looks like a luxury hotel suite. There is even a double bed. What in the world? Joshua walks out of the bathroom and throws me a swoon-worthy smile.
“There’s my beautiful girl. I was starting to get worried. I thought that maybe you and my mother may have killed each other. I was going to send out a search party.” He bends and tenderly wipes the hair back from my face. I smile and put my arms around his neck and inhale his wonderful scent. I feel better just being in his vicinity… I need to put this paternity shit out of my head.
He kisses me gently. “So …” he steps back to scan my face. He wants to know what was said between his mother and me.
Guilt fills my stomach … I can do this. “We are calling a truce, for your sake Joshua. Only because we both love you.”
His eyes light up and he smiles warmly. “Thank you … I really appreciate you doing this for me.” He bends and kisses my neck. “I will make it up to you presh. It will be well worth your while.” He grabs my behind and grinds me forward onto him.
My eyes close instinctively. “That’s great big boy, but stop. We are in a hospital. No fun for you until we get home,” I smirk.
He sits on the chair and pulls me onto his lap. “I’m hungry for you,” he whispers darkly. I smile. God, me too actually. The little two pumps I got yesterday have only heightened my need for a long hard sex session.
“Patience, baby … later.” I smile into the top of his head.
“Prick tease,” he whispers into my neck.
“Baby I am going to tease that prick until you’re crying with want. You have no idea.” I gently run my tongue through his lips and pull back to smirk at him.
“There’s my beautiful slut. I’ve missed that filthy mouth of yours Natasha.”His eyes darken as they drop to my lips.
Just him calling me beautiful slut awakens memories that send a throb of arousal to my centre. “Well I’ve missed that beautiful strong tongue of yours, so we are even,” I whisper.
“If you are trying to get yourself fucked you are going the right way about it.” He licks my neck.
My eyes close as I feel my legs start to open by themselves. Mmm, I need to be fucked … hard. “It’s working then,” I whisper.
He pats the bed next to him. “Come and lie with me.”
“How did your session go with the rehab guy?” I ask to try and change the subject.
He shrugs his shoulders. “Embarrassing. I felt like a junkie.”
“To them you are,” I reply.
He nods and flops onto his back. “I hate that I have done this. How could I have been so stupid?”
I nod and my eyes tear up. “Josh, what if you had died … it would have killed me. I wouldn’t have been able to go on. How could you be so selfish?”
He kisses my forehead as he pulls me tightly into his arms. “I know presh. I’m so sorry. I swear I didn’t mean it. I was watching the movie of us on repeat all weekend.”
I frown in horror. “What, the porno?”
He smiles and nods. “Yeah, you look smoking hot by the way.” He kisses my forehead again. I bring my hand up to my face in embarrassment. What must I look like?
“And then what happened?” I ask.
He blows out a breath. “I was down on myself for letting you down.”
I turn to look at him. “How have you let me down Josh?”
He drops his eyes. “I just have Tash. I am supposed to be the one to take care of you and I can�
�t even do that.”
“Josh, it wasn’t your fault my dad died. We had no idea that Brock was going to go crazy.” His eyes are still downcast. “Josh, he had an underlying heart condition.” I sigh.
“Why did you cut me like that? We are supposed to be in this together. In the worst time of your life I am supposed to be the one who takes care of you and you wouldn’t even speak to me. I had to have Cameron check on you daily to see if you were alright. In the end it was him that told me you weren’t coming back any time soon and that I should return to America,” he murmurs in a hurt voice.
“Josh,” I whisper.
“It fucking killed me to get on that plane without you.” His eyes tear up and guilt fills me as we touch foreheads and stay silent. There are no words for this moment, nothing that accurately describes the amount of remorse that I have, for my father’s death … for leaving Josh. What was I thinking? For a long time we lie silently together enclosed in regret, lost deep in our own thoughts and holding each other tight. I feel sick in my stomach. I should tell him the truth about his father.
“Joshua, we will never be apart again, I promise you. Our hard times are over with.” I smile through the lump of guilt in my throat.
He nods as if not believing me. “What about when Brock finds out. What are you going to do then?”he says in a flat voice as if not believing me.
“Josh, Brock has been a horrible cold brother to me since Dad died. He has no regard for my feelings. Even Mum has told him to wake up to himself. I have my mother’s blessing to be with you and now your mum and dad are on board we will be ok, baby. We love each other right?”
He nods.
“Let’s just concentrate on today … being happy today.” I smile softly.
He kisses my lips gently. “Deal,” he whispers. “I will spend every day ensuring a happy one for you.” I smile and kiss him gently as a knock comes to the door.
“Come in,” he snaps angrily at being interrupted.
Cameron walks into the room with a beaming smile. “Hello lovebirds.” I smile and pull out of Joshua’s embrace to lie on my back.
“Hello Doctor Love.” I smile.
“Hmm, Doctor Love has a ring to it. Although I would rather be known as Doctor Multiple.”
Joshua laughs out loud, “You really are a tool you know?”
Cameron bites his lip to stifle a smile and winks at me. “How are you feeling today?” he asks Joshua.
“Much better,” he replies. Cameron picks up Joshua’s file and starts to read it as he stands at the end of the bed. It still freaks me out that he is actually a qualified doctor. He reads something and frowns.
“What’s Murph doing?” Josh asks.
Cameron is still frowning and looking down at the file answers. “He’s busy working again. The media has got a hold of your overdose and the phones and website are apparently going crazy.”
“I’m going outside to see Max,” I whisper to give them some privacy.
Josh narrows his eyes at me and grabs my hand. “What’s with the sudden interest in Max?”
I frown at him. “You can’t be serious … he’s my bodyguard.” Josh raises an eyebrow and continues to hold my hand in silent disapproval.
“Joshua, you are the one making him follow me around. He can go any time you like.”
My eyes flick back to Cameron who is still frowning at Joshua’s file. What is he looking at?
“Why are you frowning like that? Is something wrong?” I ask.
Cameron’s eyes shoot up as if distracted. “Huh.” He had no idea what I just said. He is distracted.
“What’s wrong, why do you look like that?” I repeat.
He bites his bottom lip in concentration. “No reason, just a lot on my mind. I need to go. I will catch you both later.” He leaves the room in a rush.
I walk to the end of the bed and pick up the file. I wonder … what was in the file?
Shit.
Joshua Mark Stanton
Blood typeAB–
DOB1/5/87
Fuck. Blood type. Was Cameron looking at Joshua’s blood type?
Is he onto something? What type of blood does everybody else have? How do I find this information out?
“Go and find a naughty nurse outfit and come back in here and give me some sexual healing,” Joshua says in a low sexy voice.
I smirk as I look up from his file. “Really, sexual healing? That’s very eighties.” I raise my brow in question.
He smiles and a nurse opens the door. “Mr Stanton, we need to run some tests.” I jump at the chance to exit unnoticed.
“I’m going to get a coffee babe. Back in a moment,” I stammer.
He kisses the back of my hand. “Take Max.” I smile and give him a quick peck on the cheek.
Ten minutes later I am sitting at the café consulting Doctor Google. Shit, this stuff is confusing. I decide to ring Mum.
“Hi Mum.”
“Hello darling, how is our patient?” She smiles down the phone.
“He’s going ok, thanks. Listen Mum I can’t talk long. They need some blood at the hospital and I was going to donate. Do you know what blood type I am?”
“Yes O+ like me,” she answers. I stay silent as I think. Mmm.
“Do you know what type of blood Robert has? He is not here but I can ring him if he has the right type,” I ask.
“Yes he is O+ like me and you. What type do they need?”
“AB –” I snap. Holy shit this is bad and my eyes close in a panic.
“Mmm, Tash, that’s a very rare type. I think only a person who has A or B could donate.”
I rub my face as I type doubletime on my iPad. “Do you know what type of blood Margaret has?”I ask.
She hesitates, “I think she’s A. But I could be wrong. Do you want me to ring her?” she replies.
“No!” I snap. “I mean that’s ok.” Holy shit, what if she says something to Margaret? ”Umm, I will see her when she gets back,” I reply nervously. I need to get off the phone before I totally let the cat out of the bag.
“Ok love. Call me when you have more time to talk,” she replies cheerfully
“Ok, love you,”I whisper.
“You too, love, goodbye.” And with that she is gone.
I type in: can a women with A blood and a man with O+ create a child with AB- blood?
The answer comes straight back … Negative. Check paternity.
Fuck … Cameron could know. I put my head into my hands on the table. This is a fucking disaster. I hate this. Do I tell Margaret that Cameron knows or at least I suspect that Cameron is suspicious? Is he suspicious? Or am I imagining this? Bloody hell, how did I get roped into this shit? Perhaps my mind is playing tricks on me? I stand and walk to the fridge and see Max standing outside the door waiting for me. He is on his phone. I open the door, distracted, looking at him and get out an Iced Coffee Milk. As I turn I run headfirst into a man and drop my drink.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” I stammer. I look up and step back. This man is in a bad way—his whole face is bruised. Two black eyes, cut lips, broken nose. Jeez he must have had one hell of a car accident. He has red dreadlocks. Freaky looking.
He smiles and bows his head. “No problem.”
I smile at Max who is now looking at me, shaking his head. Why am I so damn clumsy? Max shakes his head and laughs at me. Hmm, he’s getting accustomed to my klutziness.
Two hours later I am lying on Joshua’s bed when Cameron comes in. “I’m heading off for the day. Do you want me to bring you anything from home?”
I stretch and stand. “I will come with you Cam. I will sleep at the house tonight.”
Joshua looks at me, mortified. “You don’t want to stay with me?”
“Yes, I want to stay with you. I think it will be better if I stay at your house tonight. This looks bad,” I reply.
He smiles shyly. “But we are married. It doesn’t look bad at all. I sleep better with you.”
I smile. He really is
adorable.
“It doesn’t look bad Tash, just stay. No one gives a rat’s here anyway.” Cam smiles.
I frown. “Are you sure?”
“Positive,” he smiles. He gives me a kiss and leaves us.
I have a burning hot shower and I have to say this is the most relaxed I have felt since before we separated. I feel like things are finally returning to normal. The hospital is finally dead quiet and still and our room is darkened and only dimly lit up by the side lamp. As I exit the bathroom Joshua’s eyes follow me through the room as I walk over to the bed slowly. He holds out his hand for me, alone at last.
“I’ve been waiting for bed-time all day,” he whispers.
I smile a shy smile. “Josh, we are in hospital. Nothing can happen, what if a nurse comes in?”
“Then she will be in for one hell of a show,” he replies softly as his eyes drop down my body and he gently cracks his neck. I feel my insides start to liquefy as he grabs my hand and pulls me onto the bed. He flicks the television on and spoons me from behind. He inhales my hair deeply. “I’ve missed these pyjamas.”
I smile. He really is easily pleased if checked men’s flannelette pyjamas do it for him. We lie in silence watching the TV. His fingers lightly skim my body from behind, his lips dust up and down my neck, and he gently kisses my earlobe. I can feel the exchange of power happening moment by moment, inch by inch. His body gently dominates me from behind and as I feel his erection grow against my lower back, my body gently submits with want. Eventually after half an hour of him touching me he turns me into his arms. I’m aching for him, nearly to the point where I can’t lie still. He rolls me onto my back and slowly lifts my pyjama top over my head and removes my pants while not breaking eye contact.
“Fuck, I’ve missed your body,” he whispers as his large hands run freely over me and his eyes close at the contact. His tongue gently swipes through my mouth, his hand under my jaw. Holding me the way he wants me. This is when he sends me wild. Crazy with lust. When he takes me the way he wants me. Total control, total domination. His other hand pushes my legs apart and his strong fingers go directly to my wet centre. He runs the backs of his fingers back and forth through my lips. God I’ve missed this, missed him. He cracks his neck hard and kisses me again, more urgent, harder. He slowly pushes one finger inside me as he twists his hand. We both groan as my heart rate reaches fever pitch. I’m not going to last, I’m so close to orgasm. Two, then three fingers stretch my flesh and my legs fall wider open, seeking more. He twists me so we are lying on our sides. He is behind me and he lifts my top leg back toward my shoulder, my knee falls behind my ear. His strong fingers are plunging in and out of my body from behind. Our eyes are both closed. We are running on pure instinct. His kisses turn aggressive over my shoulder and my body starts to ride up the bed as his hand turns almost violent. He grabs my hips and slams me back down the bed toward the penetration. Fuck this feels … he’s so good at this. He removes his fingers and changes the pressure completely by running the tips of his four fingers gently over my clitoris. I nearly jump off the bed. The sound of my wet arousal hangs thick in the air and my legs fall open as far as they will go. He kisses me gently, his tongue rimming around my lips. I can’t take much more, I need to come. Like. Now. He brings his hand up and tenderly holds my face as he kisses me softly. This is how he drives me insane, the tempo change … hard and aggressive and then gentle and loving. When he is being hard on me I crave the tenderness and then when he is being tender and loving I crave the hard dominance. I can’t take any more. I try to move so I can mount him but he stops me.