by T L Swan
I text.
I need to get back to Australia.
He replies.
I know, honey. He has men on the way to the airport.
He’s beside himself.
Are you sure you want to do this?
I text.
He’s been sleeping with Amelie.
He replies.
I’m not sure if that’s true.
I text back.
Forget it. I don’t want your help.
He replies.
Meet me at the Greyhound bus station
1716E 7TH Street
Los Angeles
Take out your simcard and put it in the bin.
Holy crap. Simcard in the bin. What do I need from my phone?
I quickly run to the counter and ask the attendant. “Have you got a pen please?”
She smiles and nods. “Sure.”Her eyes scan my face and I can see her brain ticking at my frantic appearance.
I quickly take it and copy the address from Max’s text onto the back of my hand. And write down Bridget and Abbie’s phone numbers. I hand back the pen. “Thank you.” My stomach fills with dread as I remove the simcard and put it into the bin. I then turn and, running on total autopilot, walk straight out the door and hail a cab.
Natasha’s haunted eyes search mine, the door opens and we both look in its direction. Amelie walks in.
“Get out!” I scream.
“He’s all yours.” Natasha cries as her face falls.
I lunge for her as she dives out of the way. “Natasha … Natasha come back.” She bursts out of the door and runs down the corridor.
The heart-rate monitor starts to scream as the nurses burst through the door. “Get the fuck out of here, Amelie.” She looks at me in shock. “Where the fuck are the bodyguards?” I scream at the nurses.
“What the hell is going on with you? You’re acting crazy,” the nurse snaps.
“Unhook me … please hurry.” I glare at Amelie. How could she do this to Natasha?
“And so she runs again,” Amelie whispers as she folds her arms in front of her.
My anger hits a new level. “So help me god if you don’t get out of my sight I’m going to fucking kill you!” I scream and the nurses gasp at my threat. I am finally unhooked and I run down the hall looking for her. I’m frantic, and my heart rate is going through the roof. I find myself close to tears as I run up and down the corridor desperately searching the rooms for my love. She’s hurt … and it’s my fault … again. The lift opens and Cameron walks out. He frowns as he sees me shirtless frantically running down the hall.
“What the hell are you doing?”he frowns.
I put my head into my hands. “Amelie told Natasha. She made it sound like I was in love with her.”
Cameron’s eyes widen. “Where’s Tash?”
“I don’t know. She ran off before I could explain. She’s alone and she has no money. This is my worst fucking nightmare. She has been gone for ten minutes.”
“Have you called her?” Cameron asks.
My eyes widen. Shit, why didn’t I think of that? I run back to the room to retrieve my phone. Amelie is sitting on the bed.
“Why are you still fucking here? I told you I want nothing to do with you. I told you that on Friday night,” I scream.
“Joshua. You love me, I know you do,” she cries.
“No I don’t, you’re delusional.” I shake my head and dial Natasha’s number as Cameron walks into the room.
“I’ve had enough of you. What a bitch you are. How could you do that to Natasha?” Cameron yells.
It rings out and I start freaking out. Pick up baby … please pick up, my heart starts to thump through my chest. “Where are the guards? Where’s Max?” I yell
Cameron shakes his head as he grabs Amelie by the arm. “I said get out.”
“I only listen to Joshua,” she snaps as she rips her arm from his grip. I dial the number again … it rings out again. What am I going to do? My glare turns to Amelie. When Tash comes back, I do not want her here. Max walks through the door with three coffees.
“Here we go.” He smiles.
My eyes widen. “Where is Natasha?”
He frowns. “When I left she was in the bathroom. Is she not here?”
My anger turns back to Amelie. “I am going to say this once and once only. Get out of my room, get out of my life, and get your ass out of my horse stud. You no longer work for me. I never want to see you again.”
“Joshua, no,” she cries. “We love each other. Don’t let her come between us.”
I screw my face up in disbelief. “I don’t love you. How many times do I have to tell you that? You forced yourself onto me on Friday night and when I realised what the hell was happening, I pushed you off me. I’m beyond mortified at what happened between us. I’m in love with Natasha … and now you’ve fucked that up too. If anything happens to her, I swear to god, I will strangle you!” I scream.
She starts to cry. “Enough of the waterworks, bitch. Just go,” Cameron snaps.
“Where the hell is Ben?” I yell at Cameron. He runs his hands through his hair in frustration.
I start texting Natasha as Cameron grabs Amelie by the arm and pulls her out of the room. I walk over to the window. Tash … baby. Please come back. I look on the chair and I see her handbag. I rush to it and realise her purse is inside. She has no money. Dear god … where is she?
“What the hell is going on?” Max asks.
“She told Natasha a bunch of lies and now she thinks I have been sleeping with Amelie and she’s run off. She has no money. She’s alone and she’s not safe in this city.” I quickly pull on some clothes. “I’m going looking for her. Call the others. Get them back here now. I want her found.”
“Joshua, you can’t go out there without protection,” Max snaps.
“Are you kidding me? She thinks I have been sleeping around on her. You know how emotional she is. She will be freaking out somewhere. Get your ass into gear and find her. I told you not to leave her alone. Where were you?” I run down the hall and start to text her again as I wait for the lift.
Cameron is hot on my heels. “I will go down. You go up,” he asserts. The lift opens and the four bodyguards come out.
“Where in the hell have you been? Natasha is missing!” I scream.
Ben’s face drops. “What?”
“We had a misunderstanding and she has run off.”
“Did you track her phone?”
Why didn’t I think of that? I run back to the room to grab my laptop and see Max texting someone. “Is that Natasha?” I ask in desperation.
“No. I was looking up the hospital security system so we can check the surveillance tapes.”
“Good thinking.” I start to type double time, initiating a track on her cell. My heart is in my chest. Please … please Tash pick up. I call her again … no answer.
Adrian walks through the door, smiling. “Hey, I bought you coffee.”
My eyes flick up to him. “Do you have your laptop with you?”
He frowns. “Yes, in the car. Why?”
I drop my head in shame. “I need it to find Natasha.”
“What do you mean?” He puts the coffee down so hastily it spills. “Where is she?”
“Amelie told her that I slept with her and Tash has freaked and taken off.”
“You slept with Amelie!?” He gasps.
I drop my head. “Sort of.”
“What the hell does that mean? You can’t sort of sleep with someone you idiot!”
I nod as I type. “It just happened and then I realised what I was doing and I stopped it midway.”
“You are the biggest fuckwit I know. Why in the hell would you give that stupid bitch ammunition against you?” He sighs as he runs his hands through his hair in frustration.
I keep typing.
“She won’t come back. You’ve done it this time. She will never forgive you.” He shakes his head in disgust.
“Shut
the fuck up and get your computer!” I yell as my heart starts to speed with panic.
He runs out of the room. Cameron comes through the door and throws me a piece of paper. “This is the hospital security system. I brought my laptop for you.” He throws it onto the bed.
“Thanks. Cameron, what if those people have her? What if she is danger?” I stammer nervously.
Cameron puts his hand on my back. “I thought you were going to tell her. She would have understood if you just had told her.”
My lip quivers in regret. “How do you tell someone you love that you had sex with someone else? I tried. A couple of times I tried, but the words wouldn’t come out of my mouth.”
“They came out of Amelie’s mouth easily enough though,” he says, void of emotion.
“I thought…” I sit back and put my head into my hands. “This is all my fault.”
“You are an …” he shakes his head, “imbecile.”
Max walks back into the room. “I’m going to go outside on the street and ask a few questions. See if anybody saw anything.”
“I don’t think she would have left the hospital. She has no money on her. I am tracking her now. I will hack the security system to check the exits and see if she left. This hospital is so huge. How in the hell are we going to find her?” I say, defeated.
Max walks over and puts his hand on my shoulder. “She will be ok. She’s tougher than you think. When she calms down she will hopefully come back.”
My eyes meet his. “She doesn’t deserve this Max. I’ve totally messed up. It just happened. I didn’t mean to hurt her. I thought we were broken up. She left me.”
He gives me a sympathetic smile and nods. “I know. Shit happens.” With that he leaves the room.
Adrian runs into the room and starts to set up his computer on the table.
I quickly start to hack the hospital security on his computer as I track her phone on mine. My heart is in my throat … Where are you Tash?
Ben comes rushing in as I crack the security code and he starts to watch the replays of the last twenty minutes on all doors of the hospital. I send the immediate visual to Adrian’s laptop. Once again I try to text Natasha:
Natasha please.
We need to talk.
It’s not how it looks.
I love you.
Why isn’t she returning my call? What if she is in danger? She is so trusting. She would go with anyone to try and get away from me without any money. I should have told her about the attack. I should have told her about Amelie. Regret slices through me … she deserves better. Amelie. What a bitch, she has turned this totally around to make Natasha think that I am in love with her. It looks as though I have been sleeping with Amelie all along. I close my eyes and put my hand over my mouth as I wait for the track to kick in. My god, please be ok, please come back to me.
Ben gasps from the other side of the room.
“What is it?” I ask.
“We have a bigger problem,” he says.
I frown. “Not possible. Natasha running off takes the cake.”
Cameron walks over to Ben and watches his screen. “Hell! Joshua get over here.”
I walk over to see what they are looking at and watch the footage that Ben is replaying. Two men walking into the hospital. One with short dark hair and an arm cast, the other a man with red dreadlocks and two black eyes entering the hospital. Horror dawns.
“How long ago was this?” I rub my hands through my hair.
Ben pushes some buttons and the tape rewinds. “Thirty minutes.”
“What! Holy shit. They have her. That’s them, two of the dudes from Friday night.”
“Calm down, you don’t know that. This could be coincidental,” Ben asserts.
Adrian runs back into the room. “Any sign?”
“It is not fucking coincidental. Call the police, Adrian,” I yell frantically
“Huh, what’s going on?”
“The guys that attacked Joshua on Friday night are in the hospital. We just saw them on the CCTV footage. Call the police,” Cameron stammers.
Adrian’s mouth drops open. “They are here now to … hurt you … Like in this hospital? Do these kinds of people do this kind of thing in a public place?” he stammers, wide-eyed.
Ben shrugs as he continues to watch the screens.
Adrian dials the police. “Hello, I would like to speak to Detective Johnston please. Hurry it’s urgent.”
“Josh, I have her,” Ben snaps.
We all run back to his screen and he hits replay. It’s a fire escape, the door bursts open and she runs out. She’s crying … actually she’s hysterical, gasping for air. She looks around frantically and runs for the road. Our eyes are all locked onto the horror opening before us. My heart sinks again. Look at her. She’s openly devastated … what have I done? She runs in front of a cab and it stops and she dives into the back seat. It slowly drives away. My head drops in shame as my heart rips in two. The only woman in the world I love is the only woman in the world that I hurt. What in the hell is wrong with me?
My computer beeps and I rush back to it. It’s an aerial shot and a red cross shows where her phone is. I quickly scribble down the address. “She’s at McDonald’s just two blocks away. Hurry.” Ben, Cameron and I run for the door.
“What will I do?” Adrian asks while still waiting on the phone.
“Wait here for the police. Keep the door locked.”
“What if the hit guys come and get me!” he shrieks.
I shake my head in disgust. “It’s hit men, not hit guys. Wimp. Keep the door locked.”
“This isn’t funny, Stanton,” he yells as I run down the hall.
I sit in the back of the bus shelter, curled in a ball in the corner chair, my legs tucked under my body. I know if Max has betrayed me and Joshua turns up, I will have no choice but to go with him. But what choice do I have? I don’t know who to trust anymore. At this point in my life if I can’t trust Max, I really have no one on my side. I feel like a vulnerable child, so lost and homesick. The tears run freely down my face as the reality hits home. My worst fear has become my reality. I know he loves her, I felt it in the barn that day. She said that he was with me out of obligation. Is that true? My mind goes back to when we started hooking up. I can’t be monogamous, so I guess it’s not fair. Why did I think he was different to other men? Why did I think I could turn the ultimate player into husband material? My mind goes over our relationship so far. I have always been the pursuer—it has always been me. I am an idiot—how did I not see this coming? I even had to bribe him with sex to be monogamous while he was in Sydney and that didn’t even work. My memory brings forth the prostitute that Abbie calls TC which is short for tunnel cunt. I sob out loud as I realise he didn’t even tell me he loved me until I told him I hadn’t slept with anyone else. Amelie is right; he is with me out of obligation and even if he’s not I am definitely not strong enough to deal with this at the moment. I need time to think. Was he really with me out of guilt? He thinks he wants me … but deep down is he really in love with her? Do they share a bond that I can’t compete with? They have common interests, and they are close friends, companions. He and I share amazing sexual chemistry, but we fight like cat and dog. I hate horses, know nothing about computers and if I am honest with myself want to stay living in Australia. We were never going to work. I just wish I had never killed my father in pursuit of the ultimate happiness. Joshua’s unobtainable love. I just need to get home and forget I ever met this destructive man. They say everything in life has a reason. What in the world could be the reason for the amount of hurt I have endured in the last two months? What have I done that is just so bad that it deserves this kind of punishment?
Max walks through the double doors and I half expect to see Joshua behind him, but he’s not. Max has stayed true to his word. I sit still as he walks over to me.
“Come on crybaby. Up,” he whispers.
I smile as I shakily take the hand he is holding out
for me. He pulls me into an embrace and I burst into full-blown sobs. I hate it when people are nice to you when you are on the edge—it makes you fall apart. I stand for a minute in his arms crying hysterically.
“Tash, let’s go back. Try and work this out with him. He loves you. He’s frantic,” he whispers into my hair.
I shake my head. “He has been sleeping with Amelie,” I sob.
“Honey, you left him. Remember. I don’t think he was sleeping with her all the time. I think it was just one time from what I heard.”
“What did you hear?” I sob.
“He was screaming at her and telling her that he loved you and that he was going to kill her if she didn’t get away from him.”
I start to really sob. “What was she doing?”
“She was crying, and then she went outside and Cameron and she had a big fight. When I was leaving Adrian had asked the bodyguards to escort her from the building.”
I cry again, out of pity for her. I put my head into my hands and slump back into the chair. Maybe he does love her and she knows it and yet he is denying them a future together out of obligation to me. This is my worst fucking nightmare. He’s sacrificing his own happiness to give me mine.
“Get me back to Australia, Max, I need to get out of here. This isn’t my happy ever after I dreamt about.”
“But Tash.”
“No … are you going to help me or not, because if not you can fuck off right now too!”
He smirks. “Really, fuck off.”
I smirk back. “Basically.”
“So you want me to basically fuck off.”
I smile through my tears as I nod.
“I will go and buy us some bus tickets to another state and then we will get a plane back to Australia. But I want you to ring Joshua and tell him you are safe first.”
My eyes widen with horror. “I am not ringing him Max; he will just talk me around. I have no resistance against him. Please, you text him and tell him you are coming with me and that I’m safe.”
He rubs his face in frustration. “Tash, you are asking too much of me. I will lose my job.”
“Please Max, I’m begging. I need your help. I have no other options.”