emma and i - Sheila Hocken

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by Emma


  there, lass.'

  With that, he got back into his cab, started up and drove

  off. Emma, in turn, was anxious to be going, and as she

  trotted placidly along I kept thinking of the bus driver's words.

  Yes, I certainly did have a good dog. She had saved my life.

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  EMMA'S OPERATION

  CHAPTER TEN

  EMMA'S OPERATION

  THE BLIND MO]3ILITY Research Centre at Nottingham

  University was always coming up with bright new ideas, and

  asking local blind people to help test them. One ingenious

  piece of work they did was to make a braille map of the new

  Victoria shopping centre. This, on the site of the old Victoria

  railway station, is an enormous place, two storeys high, with

  all the shops under cover, air-conditioned and set out amid

  fountains and flower-gardens. It is splendid, but poses problems

  for the blind. There are no steps to count, no kerbs, and

  nothing by which people without sight can orientate themselves.

  So the Mobility Research Centre made a braille map,

  and put braille labels and notices round the shopping centre.

  The main area has large concrete pillars all the way down the

  middle. Numbers in braille were attached to each pillar. By

  feeling the number on a pillar and relating it to the equivalent

  number on the braille map, it became possible to know

  exactly which shops were nearby. The map waK a brilliant

  construction-the entire centre on paper as a tactile image:

  lines drawn for the outlines of shops, pffiars indicated in large

  round raised dots, stairs by little series of lines which gave an

  impression of stairs through the fingers.

  It was decided to make a film of how the scheme worked,

  and I was asked if I would take part with Emma. Ian, the

  cameraman, briefed us on exactly what was expected in the

  iig

  filming, and what they wanted us to do. The idea was to

  make it look like a typical shopping day for a blind person,

  starting off in the bus station.

  Geoffrey, who was directing the film, asked me if I had any

  idea how films were made, and I told him I knew about

  shooting and cutting in a vague sort of way, because I read

  about it. 'Yes,' he said, 'that's it, we do all the shots, and then

  edit the film into the sequences we want. There's one thing,

  though: we might want a shot from different angles, so you

  may be asked to do something twice or three times. I hope

  that'll be O.K., but it can get a bit tedious.' I promised I

  would try to make as few mistakes as possible.

  Emma and I did as we were told for the beginning of this

  epic, and the cameras started turning. But we had not gone

  more than half a dozen paces when I was suddenly taken by

  the arm. 'Hello, I haven't seen you for some time. How's

  Emma getting on?' It was one of the bus inspectors who knew

  Emma and me. I heard Graham shout 'Cut!' After the

  inspector had chatted for a bit (I could not risk telling him

  we were making a film otherwise he would probably have

  wanted to be in it), we had another go. This time, Emma and

  I got as far as the door into the centre. And then I heard

  the sound of a great commotion. 'Why don't you look where

  you're going?' I heard someone say (and thought they

  meant me). Then:'You can see she's blind can't you ?'Ian, the

  cameraman, had run in close to get a better shot of me coming

  up to the door, and some of the shoppers thought he was

  going to collide with me, and took him by the arm. So, another

  length of film was ruined, and we had to start again. Emma, I

  could tell, was by now becoming rather fed up with doing the

  same run, but the take went reasonably well this time. Next

  I located the first pillar with the braille number, and stood

  reading my map, which was what they wanted to film. Almost

  immediately I heard a woman's voice, very close, 'Where

  do you want to go, my dear? I'll take you.' It was the kindest

  of gestures. But, in the background, I heard yet again 'Cut!'

  When she had gone we managed to do this shot properly.

  -I,.

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  I20

  The next location was more difficult. We had to go down

  to the north end of the centre and find a caf6 where we were

  going to be filmed having a cup of tea. The trouble was, I

  could not find the pillars, and I had no means of asking Emma

  to find one for me. In any case, she had spent all her life trying

  to avoid such things and obviously was not going to learn a

  new trick now. So I had to listen for the pillars, then stop and

  feel, with my arm outstretched. It must have looked very

  strange. But at last I thought I had found a pillar, and put

  my arm out. This pillar, however, did not seem to be made of

  concrete. I realized I was grasping a handful of overcoat. The

  man concerned in this odd assault apologized to me for some

  reason. He must have thought I was mad.

  On the next attempt we found the right pillar and had our

  cup of tea. The film was finished in the end, and I understand

  it turned out very well, with not a hint of the genuine drama

  that had gone into its making.

  Round about this time, one aspect of life that was beginning

  to worry me a little was the fact that the flat had no garden for

  Emma to run in. It really came home to me one August day.

  I was sitting in the flat, knowing that outside it was glorious

  and sunny, and thought languidly how marvellous it would be

  to have a garden. There were parks not far away where I

  took Emma for her free run. But this was not the same as

  being able to open the door at any time and let her out. Nor

  was it the same as Emma having her own patch of lawn and

  her own boundaries. Sitting thinking about it, I had an idea.

  It was two months to Emma's birthday, I6 October, and a

  garden would be the best present I could give her. I went to

  the phone and rang the local housing department. The idea

  was to exchange my flat for a house.

  They were not very helpful. The upshot of their response

  was that it was very unlikely that anyone would want to

  exchange a council house for the kind of flat we were in, but

  I was welcome to try and arrange it for myself, if I could. I

  tried, and had no success. Then I remembered that Emma

  had a friend on the council. She was a very kind woman

  EMMA AND I

  EMMA'S OPERATION

  I

  I

  I2I

  called Brenda Borritt, who used to see us in the park quite

  often and took an interest in Emma. So the next time we met

  in the park I told her about the problem, and she said she

  would see what could be done. A week or two went by, and I

  was beginning to think that nothing would come of the idea,

  when there was a telephone call. Mrs Borritt had found someone

  who wanted to move out of their council bungalow into a

  flat. It was, she said, only a small bungalow, prefabricated

  and getting on in years-but it had a garden!

  So Emma got h
er present: but only just in time. We moved

  house on the very day. Emma took to the house at once, and

  even more, to the garden. It was not very big. But there was

  enough space for her to go out whenever she wanted, with

  grass, and flower beds and rose-trees.

  It took the upheaval of moving house to bring home to me

  again that I could not see. This may sound odd. But having

  Emma I never had the feeling when I went out that I was

  blind. Through Emma I could see: not in a visual sense,

  obviously, but I knew what was going on around me as she

  reacted to her surroundings. All her feelings and moods

  transmitted themselves through the harness. I could always

  tell if there was an obstacle ahead because of the way she

  slowed up and hesitated ever so slightly. I knew when we were

  passing another dog, because I could feel her looking, and her

  tail wagging.

  But around the house it was different. Moving in a room, or

  from one room to another, a blind person is always mentally

  planning. And moving to a new house, you have to start all

  over again.

  Don helped me move in, and we had a hectic time: he put up

  curtain rails and changed electric plugs, while I carried on

  the endless business of unpacking. Emma and I collapsed into

  bed at about two in the morning. In next to no time, it seemed,

  I heard someone knocking outside (it was, in fact, Don) and

  I quickly got out of bed. Then I realized I could not remember

  exactly where the door was. I felt along one wall, and then

  another, and opened a door. I was in a fitted wardrobe. After

  I22 EMMA AND I

  trying another wall, and coming back again to the fitted

  wardrobe I finally found the right door. Pausing only to

  collide with the settee that I had forgotten had been put in

  the middle of the living room, I got to the front door. There

  was no one there. Then I remembered there was a back door as

  well, where Don was patiently waiting. It took me a long time

  to become accustomed to all the different doors, after being

  so used to my flat with its one entrance and fewer rooms.

  That was not all. I remember going to the loo one day, and

  finding it was not there. I was in the wrong room, as I discovered

  after five minutes searching and feeling round for

  porcelain and a plastic scat. I even got lost in the garden,

  small as it was. I had left Emma in the kitchen and shut the

  back door as I went to hang out some washing. Then I lost

  my sense of direction completely, and could not remember

  where the back door was. I felt all round the hedges, and over

  the front gate, and back to the house before finally finding it.

  I wondered afterwards if Emma had been staring reproachfully

  at me through the window.

  Emma, however, very soon got used to her garden. She

  could not wait to be let out, and used to gallop all over,

  snorting at the hedge bottoms on the trail of long-vanished

  cats.

  Of course, not only the house, but the new area presented

  its problems. We had moved to the Beechdale district, and

  there were a lot of new routes to be learnt, including a new

  one to work. Not long after we had moved into the new house,

  I had to go to Boots the Chernists to fetch a prescription.

  Emma knew Boots very well: it was in the main street of

  Nottingham, Parliament Street, on the left-hand side, and

  she took me there straight away after we had got off the bus.

  She took me up the steps to the door, and I put my hand out,

  but the door would not open. It was very odd, because Boots

  was normally open day and night. 'Are you sure,' I asked

  Emma, 'you've got the right place?' We came back down the

  steps, and, as I was turning o ,er in my mind why they could

  possibly be closed, she took me along the pavement. I felt

  EMMA3S OPERATION

  I23

  Emma turn to a crossing. When the traffic stopped we went

  over, and she todk me up to a shop. I thought: well, at least

  I can ask in here. But when we got inside I heard a farriiliar

  voice. It was a Boots assistant, saying, 'Hello, Emma'. Then

  she said, 'I saw you across the road, and I wasjust coming over

  to fetch you. We've closed down over there. Then I saw Emma

  bringing you across, so I didn't bother. She certainly had a

  good look at the notice across the way saying we've closed!'

  At the nearby Post Office, the woman soon got to know us,

  and became very fond of Emma. We used to go a lot, because

  I had my talking-books to post. Talking-books are large

  cassettes that will not fit an ordinary tape-recorder. They are

  played on a special machine. The service is a boon for the

  blind, and is run from Bolton, in Lancashire. The cassettes

  cover all kinds of books from classical works to light fiction,

  recorded by first-class readers, often from the BBC. The

  talking-book library sends out its catalogue, available in

  ordinary print or braille, for a subscription Of œ3 a year, and

  about thirty books at a time can be chosen. These are then

  sent, two or three together, and this ensures that when a used

  cassette is sent back, there is another to listen to while the next

  batch is on its way. In this way I have 'read' widely from

  jane Austen to james Bond.

  There is one advantage in assimilating books in this way:

  I used to switch my book on, and carry on feeding Emma,

  washing over the kitchen floor, and doing the ironing, and

  by the time I had finished I would be three chapters of the

  book further on.

  The Post Office-another good service they perform for the

  blind-deals with the talking-book traffic free of charge. The

  cassettes arrive in plastic cases, with a perspex square in the

  front. The address is on a card behind the perspex, and all

  that has to be done to return the cassette is to turn the card

  over and replace it. The library centre's address is on this

  reverse side.

  People sometimes used to ask me how I knew if Eliima was

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  EMMA AND I

  not well. Obviously I could not see whether she had a dry

  nose, had lost condition in her coat, or was lacking her normal

  bounce. But I did not need to see her. People did not

  appreciate the extraordinary bond between us. I could tell

  as soon as we got up in the morning, and she had her first

  vigorous shake, how she was, and even what kind of a mood

  she was in. She might be a little less enthusiastic than usual

  about going out to work, and, of course, even if I could not

  see her nose, I could always feel if it was warm. She might

  ask to go out into the garden more than usual. I could

  certainly tell if she was off colour.

  In addition, because she was a guide-dog (there is a little

  disc round her neck saying: 'I am a guide-dog') she had a

  check-up every six months at the vet's. This is free of charge

  to the guide-dog owner, and is a good plan for anticipating

  any trouble before it becomes serious. There was
only one

  snag about this bi-annual ritual as far as Emma was concerned:

  she was not at all keen on the idea.

  I had to be slightly devious for her own good. When preparing

  for a visit to the vet's I would never say anything to her,

  because Emma knew the street the surgery was in as a familiar

  route. Her pace always slackened on the approach to the vet's

  door, until she was hardly putting one paw in front of the

  other. Then, when she realized we were not actually making a

  visit, she would switch into top gear, and we would zoom

  past as if very late for an urgent appointment.

  When the visit was a genuine one I am afraid I used to have

  to wait until poor Emma hadjust about come to a stop by the

  steps leading to the door, go up them, feel for the doorbell,

  hold on, and use gentle force to get her over the mat.

  She loathed it. But there came the day, in between the sixmonthly

  check-ups, when I first felt a small lump under her

  chest. I kept a check on it, and it seemed to be growing,

  so I decided I would have to take her to the vet's. After we

  got over the inevitable dramatic performance on the doorstep,

  and the normal yelps and barks from other dogs as we

  waited. we found Mr Davidson on duty: a very kind man, a

  EMMA'S OPERATION

  I25

  great lover of Labradors, and fond of Emma in particular.

  He examined the lump and told me it had best be removed

  to be on the safe side. This meant I had to arrange to take

  Emma in early the following morning. Normally dogs that

  are operated on are left all day, but in our case I did not want

  this to happen. We agreed that if I could get a car to bring

  me to the surgery, she need stay only a couple of hours: I

  simply did not want her to be there long without me.

  Of course I was terrified that the lump might be malignant.

  I told the girls at work, and they were immediately worried

  and sympathetic. They all agreed that once I had taken

  Emma in to the surgery, I ought to be picked up by a firm's

  car and taken home after the operation, and have the rest

  of the week off to look after her. It did not work out quite

  like that, but it was a kind thought.

 

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