No...No...
Alex stepped closer and looked at the display. I heard his subtle gasp and he couldn’t hide the shiver that overtook him.
I took his hand, “Are you okay?”
He nodded, but I could feel him tremble again as he looked at the mask.
“It’s just weird, you know,” he said, not taking his eyes off of it. “According to you, all of this was taken from my tomb and that was my funeral mask. I sort of feel like I’m not supposed to be seeing any of this.”
“I know,” I said as I hugged his arm. “I keep wondering if I’m acting right... I mean I don’t know who I am so does that mean I’m acting like her or is it like me to act like her...I don’t know.”
“I didn’t think any of this would get to me like this,” he said. “It’s all a little overwhelming.”
“Yeah,” I said as I looked at the display again. “I just keep feeling like the closer I get to Ankhesenamun, the closer I am to finding out who I am.”
Alex nodded, “I guess that makes sense.”
I sighed and leaned my head over onto his shoulder, “I just need some answers. I just feel so... Lost.”
Chapter Thirteen
“Can’t you just hypnotize her again?” Alex begged. We were back at the hospital following David down the hall.
David shook his head, “We tried last time you were here and it didn’t help. In fact, she seemed pretty shaken up by the whole thing.”
Alex glanced back at me and gave me a reassuring smile, but his voice was urgent when he turned back to David.
“I know, but I think she’s close to remembering something,” he explained. “Look, my other guy hasn’t come up with anything off her fingerprints yet and you’re our last hope. I swear, I think it will work this time.”
“What’s happened? What’s so different?”
Alex glanced over at me again and lowered his voice, “She keeps dreaming that I’m Tutankhamun and the dreams are becoming more intense. I don’t know what to make of it, but she really thinks she’s close to remembering something.”
David shook his head, “Where will that leave you?”
“I don’t know and I don’t care. I just want to help her.”
We were coming upon the emergency room waiting area. David stopped, crossed his arms, and shook his head.
“You need to take her to see a real doctor,” he argued.
“You are a real doctor,” Alex replied.
“You know what I mean,” David said, looking over at me nervously. He lowered his voice to a whisper, “Someone that can actually help her...A psychiatrist.”
Alex put his hands on his hips and shook his head, “I won’t do that to her. I can’t do that.”
I leaned against the wall, wishing the floor would just swallow me up. I hated that they were talking about me like I wasn’t even there and I hated it even more that Alex was going through so much trouble trying to help me figure out who I was.
“I don’t want to lose my job over this,” David hissed loudly.
“You won’t.”
“And what if I do?”
“If you get fired,” Alex said, “I’ll pay your salary until you find another position.”
That seemed to settle it. Within minutes we were on our way back down that narrow hall to the morgue and once again, I was stretched out on the gurney, trying not to think about the dead bodies in the wall, and listening to David’s instructions.
“Are you both sure you want me to do this then?” David asked.
“Don’t you think she deserves to know who she really is?” Alex said simply, smiling down at me.
David shook his head, “And what if it turns out she really is has a husband or something?”
“I’m willing to take that chance.”
David looked down at me, “What about you? Are you sure about this? Whatever caused your memory loss...”
“I know,” I said. “It might be bad.”
David shrugged, “Okay, here we go, but we have to hurry.”
“I don’t think this is something we should rush,” Alex frowned. “Why do we need to hurry?”
“It’s a full moon,” David said as if that should explain everything.
“What does that have to do with anything?” Alex asked
“You just need watch the door,” David said with a jerk of his chin. “More people die on full moons than other times. People will be coming in and out of here constantly.”
I looked up at him from my position on the gurney, “Do you really believe that?”
David smiled down at me, “Do you really believe that Alex is Tutankhamun?”
“Point taken...” I lay back again and closed my eyes.
“Okay Senna,” David said. “We’re going to step it up a little bit. I want you to go back, back to the most traumatic moment you can think of—”
“David!” I heard Alex call out.
“I’m trying to get the two of you some answers,” he said. “Now do you want me to do this or not?”
I could hear Alex stepping away and moving back toward the door. David leaned over me again, “Okay Senna, let’s start again. I want you to relax and just focus on your breathing.”
I breathed in and out slowly, feeling myself sink into my own skin. David cleared his throat, “Okay, show us, how bad was it?”
Chapter Fourteen
At first, I was staring up into nothing. Slowly, I began to see the paintings on the wall once more. They were swirling and changing shape as I tried to bring them in to focus.
Some of the paintings seemed to move, looking at me and blinking cartoonish eyes at me before taking their place on the wall once more. What was this? What was happening?
Suddenly, I was in the hall, looking up at a golden etching of Tutankhamun and I. It depicted the Pharaoh on his throne and I was sitting at his feet. Tutankhamun was giving me wine from his own hand and I touched his shoulder lovingly. I looked up at that carving not thinking of my husband, but of the long nights at his bedside praying that he would somehow survive.
And there, always lurking just in the shadows, was Ay. Day in and day out he was there, watching my husband’s recovery and speaking in hushed tones with the other advisors. I grew to hate the sight of his aging face and eager eyes looking to me every morning and asking if Tutankhamun survived the night.
In the distance, I could just hear the faint sound of footsteps approaching. I turned to see Tutankhamun leaning on his cane and one of his servants at the end of the hall. He was out of bed and walking, but he looked so weak and worn.
I went to my husband, kissed his hand, and looked up into his thin face. “How are you feeling today my love?”
Tutankhamun leaned heavily on his cane, he looked down at his servant, “Leave us.”
I took his arm as the servants scurried away. I could feel how he was trembling with the effort to remain standing. I felt my heart sink and wished that I could give him some of my own strength. I would rip the very heart from my chest to make him whole again.
“Are you feeling well today?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said, but I knew it was a lie.
“I have missed walking by your side.”
He nodded, but motioned for us to stop so that he could rest. I could see the small beads of sweat breaking out across his brow.
“I must ask something of you,” I said cautiously.
“Whatever it is,” he panted. “It is yours.”
“You must dismiss Ay.”
“Ankhesenamun –”
“He means you ill.”
“If I dismiss him,” he said. “The priests would outcry, they would rally the people against me, and there would be war in the streets. He is my most trusted advisor.”
“Then we are both doomed.”
“I will never allow any harm to come to you,” he said as he lifted my hand to his lips and kissed each one of my fingertips one by one. “I promised you that, remember?”
“I rem
ember,” I said as I reached out and smoothed back his hair once again.
“Good,” he said with a tired smile. “I need to rest now.”
“Of course,” I said as I took his arm again and began walking with him back to his chambers. We moved very slowly, the anger he felt towards his own body radiated off of him.
“I am sorry to bring you so much shame,” he said.
I looked at him curiously, “You have brought me no shame.”
“I have,” he said. “I am weak. How can I be Pharaoh and rule Egypt when I can barely walk?”
I sighed and patted his arm, “Do you know the moment I knew you would be a great king? It was not when you returned from battles, but from a moment that bore no witnesses.”
“What do you speak of?”
“It was a night long ago outside the palace of Akhetaten,” I explained. “You were in the courtyard, royal garb of any kind, and a beggar approached you asking for food. You could have sent him away or had the guard punish him for daring to speak to the royal prince of Egypt, but instead you placed your hand on his shoulder and guided him into the palace. You saw to it that he was fed and given enough food to take back to his family. That is the moment I knew you would be a great king, because you could show compassion.”
Once in his chamber, I helped Tutankhamun to bed. I smoothed back his hair and kissed his forehead. “Rest now my love.”
“Ankhesenamun,” he said as I prepared to leave. “I swear I will recover and I will be the king you remember and I promise I will always keep you safe, in this life and the next.”
I sat down on the edge of his bed, and took his hand. I watched the rise and fall of his chest as he fell asleep, almost counting each breath. I prayed to the gods to give him strength, to give me back the man that he had been only months before.
Once I was sure he was sleeping soundly, I got up and went to the door. Looking back at him asleep on the bed one last time, I tried to convince myself that he would recover, be strong, and that one day we would have sons that would rule Egypt after we were gone.
I went to my own chambers as the night began to set in. I was not tired, but I just felt the need to be alone. There was a feeling coming over me that I could not explain.
For the longest time, I stood in the center of the room, feeling it coming, feeling the approach of the moment when everything was going to change. I could almost feel fate breathing down over me.
Why do I feel this way...What is coming?
Suddenly, my maid appeared at the door. “My queen?”
“Leave me.”
“My queen—”
“What is it?” I demanded.
“There is an army approaching, my queen, the Pharaoh is leading his army to meet them.”
My strength left me. I fell to my knees, praying to the gods. Was this how it was all to end? Tutankhamun was so weak, how could he survive battle?
There was the sound of horses and chariots in the courtyard. I ran to the balcony and looked down at the chaos unfolding. Soldiers and chariots leaving the palace in a dusty cloud.
My eyes looked over the crowd until I saw the golden chariot of the Pharaoh. He stood, tall and proud, though even from above I could see how very pale he was.
As if he felt me watching him, he reined his horses and looked over his shoulder and up to me. His kohl rimmed eyes met mine and I knew...He wasn’t returning alive.
“I love you,” he mouthed silently.
I reached out my hand, wishing I could pull him up to me and hold him to me. He turned and his chariot raced out of the palace gates.
Don’t go...Don’t go...
He was gone. I backed away from the balcony. I walked past my servants and out of my chamber. I spoke to no one, holding up my hand to silence those that dared to speak, most simply bowed and backed away from me.
I wasn’t sure where I was going until I found myself standing before the throne of the Pharaoh. I looked down at it, turning my head so that the colored glass sparkled. My eyes were drawn to the back panel of the chair where our images were depicted. I saw the way the me shown there reached out and touched Tutankhamun’s shoulder. I closed my eyes and remembered how warm his shoulder was when I would cradle my head upon it.
I sat down at the foot of the throne, remembering the many times I sat there with my head leaning against his leg. I looked around me to the paintings on the walls showing him in battle defeating his enemies. It was as if he was all around me.
I remained there throughout the night, watching the shadows darken the walls and then disappear as morning came. I heard the servants enter, but I ordered them away before my eyes fell upon them. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to be alone with his image.
It was Ay that finally dared to approach me. My eyes were closed, dreaming of Tutankhamun in my bed when I heard the soft tread of footsteps. I opened my eyes just as he leaned down over me.
“My queen?” He said softly, “What do you need? How can I help you?”
“Leave me,” I said in a hoarse voice. “Just leave me be.”
I closed my eyes again and listened to the sound of him walking away. I could hear him whispering to the other advisors.
“Is there any word of the Pharaoh?” He asked.
“No,” one said. “But it is believed he may be among the dead.”
My eyes fluttered open and fell again on the painting of Tutankhamun in battle. Was it true? Was he dead?
The shadows continued to move over the walls as day faded once more into night. I was weak with hunger and thirst, but if my love was dead, it was better to die here and now, surrounded by his image than to go on to empty, meaningless days without him.
I could hear the commotion in the hall. There were voices giving orders and people rushing about, and then there was only silence. The silence was heavy and seemed to pull the very breath from me.
Out of the silence came the sound of hurrying feet and the rustle of a maidservant’s gown as she came toward me. I could hear her panting and sensed her panic even before I opened my eyes.
“Your highness?”
I forced myself to sit upright, “Yes?”
“It is the Pharaoh.”
I no longer felt my body, my tears began to fall, but I didn’t feel their wetness. I cleared my throat and swallowed past my thirst. “What of the Pharaoh?”
My eyes fell to the guard behind her. She bowed and moved aside so that he could come forward. His head was bowed, but I could smell the stench of battle and death on him.
“The Pharaoh has returned,” the guard said. “He fought bravely, but was wounded. His leg seems broken and the fever—”
“Take me to him,” I ordered as I tried to stand, my legs gave way, but the guard reached out and took my arm.
The guard led me to my husband’s chamber, almost carrying me. He opened the door and stepped aside. I stood in the doorway and even from there, I could see that the Pharaoh Tutankhamun was not long for this world.
He lay in his bed, his feverish eyes staring blindly up at the ceiling, and his chest heaving with great raspy breaths. He did not hear me enter and writhed weakly as I approached.
“I am here my love,” I whispered as I reached out and touched his face.
Some of the fear left his eyes, but he struggled to gasp his next breath.
“I am here,” I repeated.
Tutankhamun’s wild eyes continued to stare forward, but his hand clutched at mine.
“He asked for you,” the guard said from the door. “He asked that we bring him to you.”
“Leave us,” I choked out.
“Yes, my queen.”
I slid into bed beside him, resting my head next to his. I placed my hand on his chest, “You are my Pharaoh, my love, and my life.”
His chest shook with another terrible breath. I reached up and touched his cheek, trying to calm him.
“Ankhesenamun,” he said in a raspy whisper. “Ankhesenamun...”
He took one more deep
breath and then a slow exhale out... And then there was nothing. I waited for him to take another breath, but there was only silence. Silence that was filled with the piercing scream that seemed to explode my chest.
“No!”
Chapter Fifteen
I sat up on the gurney, gasping for air and looking about wildly. I swallowed back the scream that wanted to escape from my throat. The force of it pressing up against my ribs and squeezing my chest tight.
Alex immediately was at my side, trying to soothe me. His hands were in my hair and rubbing down my back.
I clutched at him, but I could feel myself trembling.
“That’s it,” Alex said with fearful eyes. “No more of this.”
I shook my head against his chest, “No please...I can feel it. I’m close to something.”
“It’s not worth all of this.”
“But –”
“Senna please,” he begged. “It kills me to see you like this. You’re trying too hard.”
I wanted to argue, but Alex was helping me swing my legs over the side of the gurney. He helped me stand, practically holding me up.
“I shouldn’t have gone along with this,” he complained. “I knew better.”
“It was my choice,” I said. “I wanted to come and try again.”
Alex mumbled a quick thanks to David and lead me out of the morgue. He said little as he guided me down the hall, keeping his arm around my waist to steady me. I kept glancing up at him, but his face was blank and unreadable.
“Are you mad at me?” I finally asked when we reached the parking lot.
“No,” Alex said as he held me up with one hand and unlocked the car door with the other. “I’m not mad at you, why would you think that?”
“Because you won’t look at me.”
He shook his head, “I’m mad at myself.”
“Why?”
“For being selfish,” he said as he opened the door. He lowered me down to the passenger seat.
“You’ve been the definition of unselfish,” I countered. “I mean you took me in, you’ve done everything you can to help me, and I don’t even want to think about how much trouble you’re in for all the time you’re taking off work. You’ve been very unselfish.”
The Pharaoh's Kiss (Reincarnation Romance Chronicles Book 3) Page 6