by Lee Heaven
Copyright © 2013 by Lee Heaven
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof
may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever
without the express written permission of the publisher
except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Not recommended for children under the age of 18 due to strong ‘Authentic Jersey’ language, sexually language and intense scenes.
his is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Cover Design: SelfPubBookCovers.com/Shardel
Dedication
To my daughter, Everything I do, I do to make your life better. You are the light that gives me a reason to wake up every day. Keep smiling and loving life the way you do.
:)
Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
EPILOGUE
Note From the Author
Prologue
I scowl at my ringing phone. It’s the same look that has been on my face for the past six weeks. I hate that the fun loving guy that I used to be has turned into this bitter piece of shit I have become. But it’s all her fault, I’m this way because of what she did to me.
I walk out of my best friend Decker’s dining room and into the kitchen to take the call. I should really just send it to voicemail, it’s just going to be the same conversation that we have had over the past six weeks. But if I send her to voicemail it will just make it worse and she’ll keep calling until I pick up the phone.
“What do you want Emily?” I snapped into the phone.
“I need money. I’m out of diapers and formula,” she sounds like she’s been crying.
“So what do you expect me to do about it?”
“She’s your kid…”
“No, she’s not,” I interrupted her. “We’ve been through this a thousand times over the past six weeks. It’s impossible, you are Caucasian, I’m Caucasian, yet that child is of Asian descent. I’m sure I know exactly who the father is, since you were friends, and swore up and down that the photos of you cuddling with him all over the city was just friendship, no matter how many times I begged you to tell me the truth. Ask him for money.”
She huffed loudly at me which meant that she was getting angry. Well fuck that, I had a right to be angry. For over a year she cheated on me. For nine months she led me to believe that child she was carrying was mine. For the nineteen hours she was in labor, I held her hand and helped her through every contraction. Then to watch the child come out and on first look I knew she was not mine. She belonged to that fuck, Peter Chin, the fuck face she was cheating on me with.
She just won’t get it through her head that it’s his child; she’s hoping that I will just step up and support her and the baby. Mostly because that fuck face doesn’t have a job and is sleeping in his grandmother’s basement on a fucking futon. Of course she would want me to be the baby’s daddy; I’ve got millions and can keep her from ever having to worry. But she won’t get a penny from me.
“She’s you kid!” Emily screamed at me.
“I want a DNA test then. Schedule the damn test that you keep threatening me with. When the test comes back that she’s mine then I will give you every penny that the child deserves. But until you give me the test stop asking for money!”
“You’re a piece of shit you know that?” She screamed.
“You made me this way!” I yelled back at her. “Set up the damn test, if not leave me alone!”
I hung up the phone and stared out the kitchen window. I couldn’t go back and join the boys yet. I needed to calm down. They all knew what was going on when it came to Emily and everything she had put me through. Hell I’m sure everyone in the world knew, it was all over the tabloids. Plus I needed to be in a better mood to go and support Sarah.
Sarah Starr is Decker Jensen’s girlfriend. Decker has been one of my best friends for years now. Back in March one of her ex-boyfriends went completely crazy and kidnapped her. After a week of being held captive she was able to escape. Now we’ve been sitting in court for her trial. The ex is still pulling dirty moves and even went as far as to air her dirty secrets, it caused her to have a massive panic attack and almost jump off the roof of the courthouse just a few days ago.
She needs all of us to be strong for her because she was at her weakest at this moment. Going to court the way I’m feeling right now is not going to help. I hate that Emily is able to make me feel this way.
I started to calm down as I heard the doorbell. That must be Sarah’s best friend who is moving back from Chicago or somewhere out there. I had seen a picture of her a few weeks ago and instantly wanted her. It was taken a couple of years ago but she was beautiful. She stood a few inches taller than Sarah, which would put her at about five-six or so. She had long brown hair and eyes as green as emeralds. I hadn’t even met the woman, but I could picture her with her legs wrapped around my waist and me buried deep in her for the rest of our lives. I don’t know if that included marriage and kids, but something about her made me want to be there with her.
But how could I be there with her? How could I bring her into the life I was living at this moment? How could I bring her into this mess with Emily? If she’s anything like Sarah, Maggie and Chelsea, I’m sure they would form a lynch mob and go after Emily herself. But I didn’t want that for her, for any of them girls. This was my mess. I had to take care of it.
The other thing, would she even look at me the same way? Would she look at me and instantly feel the attraction I felt looking at her picture? Or would she see a messed up kid who can’t keep it in his pants. I’m not like that though. I’m not like the tabloids say I am. Sure in my early twenties I thought I was hot shit and had a different girl on my arm and in my bed almost every night. Then I met Emily. Three years I gave her. I was ready to put a ring on her finger when all the pictures of her and Peter Chin started popping up. I asked her over and over again if she was cheating on me and she swore up and down that she wasn’t and like a fool I believed her. Like a fool I stayed. Then she announced she was pregnant. I wanted so bad to believe that child growing in her stomach was mine. The day she was born went from being the most exciting day of my life to turning me into the shit I am today. The second I looked at the baby, it was so obvious that the baby was not mine and in fact Peter’s.
I walked out of the delivery room after telling Emily her stuff would be packed and shipped to her old apartment where she had a friend living. I walked past Tobias who was in the waiting room and straight down the elevator with him following behind me without saying a word. Tobias didn’t say a word to me as we drove home or walked into the building or rode the elevator all the way up. I walked into Decker’s apartment and straight into the kitchen. Sarah was in there cooking lunch as I pulled a beer from the fridge. She took one look at me and handed me a white dish and pointed to the wall. I knew what she was telling me, I had walked into the apartment a couple of times after she had been fighting with her then boyfriend and breaking dishes.
I chucked it at the wall and the shattering noise broke something in me. Five more dishes met the wall before I collapsed to me knees crying. Sarah was standing in front of me wrapping me in her arms as I cried into her stomach. She held me tight until I was all done and then loo
ked at me with sad eyes that made me spill the whole story to her. She just looked at me and ran her hand down my cheek and said, “It’s better to find out who she is now, than to have put up with her for years and be stuck in a loveless, shit hole of a relationship.” Sarah had a heart made for love and unfortunately before Decker her heart wasn’t loved back. It was only a couple of months before that she had the shit kicked out of her and we had to run out to New Jersey to save her and a few weeks after that was when she was kidnapped. Now she had Decker and you could see how much love she had inside her.
I wanted love. I wanted what Decker had in Sarah. I wanted what Tobias was finding in Maggie. What Roman and his wife had. I wanted love of my own. I was just a fucked up twenty-nine year old who screwed everything up.
“The kitchen,” Sarah said as they walked into the gleaming white room pulling me out of my pitty party. “And the pouty man by the window is Tyler James.”
I turned to see Sarah standing there with her friend. She was just as her picture showed. Fuck I knew the look on my face and my attitude was no good at the moment. I was going to turn her off of me before we even spoke. But Sarah was right, I am pouty. No I’m not pouty, I’m shitty. Fucking Emily had to go and ruin my day.
Someone called Sarah and she sneered at me to be nice as she left the room.
“You must be the best friend,” I asked. I bet I sounded like an ass. I bet I sounded like someone who didn’t give a shit.
“Chrissy,” she said with a small smile, her voice was timid, like she wasn’t sure if she should answer me.
I turned back toward the window. I had to or I would have walked over there, thrown her against the wall and taken her like the fucking Neanderthal that I was. I’m sure I felt the frown that crossed her face as I turned my back. Then her phone started ringing. I listened to her conversation and anger flooded me even more. I couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. My blood was boiling and I could hear it pounding in my ears.
Before I even knew what I was doing I was standing over top of her. Barking questions, silently and verbally demanding answers from her. Her phone fell to the floor as I crushed my mouth to hers. Fuck she tasted as good as she looked. She tasted like coffee and donuts. She was everything I dreamed of. I spun and pushed her back against the fridge. I was about to burst through my pants I was so hard.
Fuck, my god damn Neanderthal body. I’ve said a dozen words to her and was attacking her like a fucking animal. But her hands were holding just as tight to me. Her tongue was thrusting against mine just as mine was to her. She wasn’t pulling away. She was pulling me into her just as much as I was pulling her into me.
The door swung open and almost hit me. I placed a slight kiss on her lips and pulled away. She was flushed and her lips were swollen from me attacking her. Fuck I wanted to shove my dick in her and drive into her as hard as I could until she was screaming my name. I looked at a smirking Sarah and Maggie as I walked out of the kitchen. I needed a minute to myself. Fuck I needed to jerk off! I walked past Decker and Tobias who were giving me a weird look and straight into the bathroom.
FUCK! This is so not how I wanted to come across to her. I probably just ruined any chance I had with her. FUCK! How do I fix this with her? She’s going to hate me. She’s not going to want anything to do with me. I just fucking man handled a woman who moved back here less than twenty-four hours ago.
I could really use Sarah’s plate throwing routine right now. I finally understood how lethargic it could be to smash something. I looked into the mirror and my hand fisted and it took everything I had to not put it through that mirror.
There was a knock on the door and I opened it to find Sarah standing there staring at me. She pushed me back into the bathroom, kicking the toilet seat down with her foot, she pushed me till I sat down and then wrapped her arms around me. It took a minute but I wrapped my arms tightly around her and pulled her into a hug as I crushed my face against her stomach. I held her for a few minutes as I labored through breathing and trying to calm down. Her hands ran through my hair and down my back. She was calming me. But what would happen when we walked out of the bathroom or the next time Emily called. There was a knock on the door and Sarah mumbled something about needing five minutes.
I finally looked up at Sarah and she was smiling down at me. “Did Emily call you?” I nodded my head at her. “Do you want me to go kick her ass?” She laughed as I nodded my head at her. After a few seconds she looked down at me with a serious look. “She’s had a hard life. Harder than what I’ve been through. If you can’t be good to her, please leave her alone.”
I knew she was talking about Chrissy. They were best friends. They had known each other for over twenty years. She wouldn’t kick my ass over anyone else. And I knew she was telling the truth, she would kick my ass and I’d let her.
“I swear the day I go after her I will be nothing but a gentlemen and give her everything she needs. Until I can give her all of me, I won’t go near her.” It was true what I said. I wanted nothing but the best for Chrissy. Unfortunately, at that moment I wasn’t what she needed. I couldn’t be the best for her. Hell I wasn’t even the best for my own self.
She planted a kiss on my forehead and turned and opened the door. Decker was standing there with his arms crossed over his chest. His look went from concern when looking at Sarah to something of question when he noticed me sitting on the toilet with rumpled hair and a slight smile.
She giggled and I saw her jaw move as if she mouthed something to him. He smiled and wrapped his arm around her pulling her into his body while kissing her forehead. Just looking at how they treat each other is exactly what I wanted someday.
Fuck why did Emily have to still mess with my life? Chrissy walked by the bathroom and looked in the door giving me a shy smile as she touched her lips with the tips of her fingers. Fingers that were just holding on to me as tight as I think anyone ever held me.
My phone beep and I pulled it out of my pocket. Looking at the screen I scowled looking at the message Emily just sent me threatening to take me to court for child support if I didn’t start helping with money. I looked back up to see Chrissy still standing there. Her smile faded when she saw my scowl. I swear tears were threatening to fall as she walked away.
FUCK!
My fist connected with the wall of the bathroom three times. Decker walked back into the bathroom and shook his head. He mumbled something about between me and Sarah he was going to have to replace everything in his house. He placed his hand on my shoulder and guided me out of the room. “You will hire either Jason or Zane or both and we will fight her legally. Make the courts make her get the DNA test once and for all. And then this will be done for good.”
I nodded my head. I was hoping if I just ignored her she would go away, but obviously that is not happening so I need to do it the mean way now. I looked across the elevator and straight into her green eyes. Fuck I wanted to lose myself in her. I wanted her sweet donut tasting lips on mine. She caught me looking at her and turned her back towards me. As the doors opened she linked her arm with Sarah’s and they walked off and into the back of one of the cars.
I knew right then I was going to lose her before I even had her.
Chapter 1
I cringed as the door slammed shut. I wiped the blood that dripped from my split lip. Jeremy wasn’t always this way. I can remember a time when he was sweet and loving and would have cringed if he ever hit me, even if it was on accident while we were horsing around. But now, now it seems like he’s not even the same man. Not only does he hit me but he has turned and now started hitting the kids. Jeremy McAllen was once my savior, now he’s my nightmare.
At eighteen I ran away from home following my high school sweetheart, Cole, down to North Carolina where he had enlisted in the Marines. Three months after I moved down there I found Cole screwing some girl up against the back wall of my apartment building. I left him that day and made the two hour journey to Myrtle Beach, So
uth Carolina. I got a shitty job at an even shittier bar and thankfully the owner had allowed me to stay on a cot in the backroom till I was able to save and get a place of my own.
I worked for that shitty bar for almost four years before I met Jeremy for the first time. I can recall the first time I saw him. He came strutting into the bar with three of his buddies. He was a pompous ass from the beginning. All night he kept making sexual remarks to me. I couldn't have given two shits about him anyway. It was his blonde headed friend I was instantly drawn to. He was tall, standing probably close to 6’2”. His green eyes were as bright as emeralds. His blonde hair was shaved in the typical military buzz style, in fact all four of them had the same cut, I knew right away they were all Marines here on a weekend away, it wasn’t the first time a Marine had made the two hour journey and probably won’t be the last. I couldn’t stop staring at him, hell he was staring at me just as much.
“Alright boys, it’s closing time. Time to head back to your hotel for the night, we open again at six tomorrow if you want to come back,” I said to the four boys. The only ones left in the bar.
“What’s your name, sweetheart,” the dark haired boy with sparkling brown eyes and a deep southern accent asked.
“Chrissy. Now if you all want, I start my shift at seven tomorrow you can come back and stare at me more then, but right now it’s time to move on so I can close up,” I smiled at them.
“You’re closing by yourself?” My blonde haired man asked.
I nodded and a look of shock passed over his face. “Done it almost every night for the past four years,” I smiled answering his shocked look.
“How ‘bout I wait for you and take you back to my hotel with me, show you a good time,” Jeremy said.
I rolled my eyes at him, placing my hand on his shoulder, “Been there done that, ain’t nothin you got that I haven’t seen and been disappointed by all the other Marines that came before you.” I turned and walked back behind the bar placing their empty bottles in the trash and grabbing a rag to start wiping down the tables.