by F. C. Clark
‘Hi.’ A man approaches me. ‘Do you have the time?’
‘Sorry, I don’t,’ I answer. ‘You don’t really want the time, do you?’
‘No. That obvious?’ The stranger begins to laugh.
‘Only because you’re wearing a watch.’
‘Do I get points for trying?’ he responds innocently.
‘Get the fuck away, or I’ll break your fucking legs.’ Luke moves to my side and gestures towards the two doormen. ‘Do not let this prick in.’
‘Luke. What the hell is wrong with you?’ I turn to the stranger. ‘Sorry.’
He holds his hands up. ‘I’m leaving.’
‘Oh my God, it’s official – you’ve lost the plot.’
‘Kate, don’t fucking push me.’ He points his finger at my face, enraged.
‘Push you?’ The Bentley pulls up. ‘I’d like to push you over a bloody cliff,’ I mumble and move towards the door, which Mr Control Freak Sutton is holding open.
‘If you have something to say, may I suggest you speak clearly.’
I catch his eye as I move closer: dark and dominant meets dark and defiant.
As soon Luke pulls away, I try to defuse the atmosphere.
‘Let’s go and get a coffee.’
He sighs.
‘You know I’m pissed off at you.’
‘Yes, but for what? So you can take your pissed-off attitude and put it somewhere else. I have better things on my mind than dealing with your mood.’
He looks at me and shakes his head. ‘Is that right? You have other things on your mind?’
‘Yes, I do. I’ve done nothing wrong. I refuse to feel guilty for going out with my sister and friends. You’ll just have to get over it – perhaps it’s something else to add to your list of adjustments.’
‘Hmm… Get over it?’
‘Yes.’ Repeating my words – does this mean he realises that he’s being irrational? ‘Are we getting coffee?’ I place my hand on his thigh.
Silence swells between us. Within ten minutes Luke draws the Bentley to a stop at Primrose Hill, where we visited a couple of weeks ago. I release my seat belt, and lean towards him, claiming his mouth, trying to defuse the tension between us, and put a stop to the argumentative mood he’s in this evening.
Luke breaks away from me.
‘What are you doing?’
Shit, my plan is not working. He never refuses me.
‘I thought you needed me.’ I try to kiss him again, but he stops me.
‘Now you want me.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean? I always want you.’ I state the obvious.
‘No, I think you said that I need to get over the fact you went out in your underwear. Now, let me think, what else was it? I can take my pissed-off attitude and put it somewhere else – oh, and add it to my fucking list.’ The tension is palpable. Even in the darkness, Luke’s crossness fills the air like a dark fucking cloud.
‘You don’t have to remember every word I bloody say.’ I sit and fold my arms. As expected, he hasn’t listened to a solitary word I’ve said. I try to swallow his claim to adjusting, but what exactly has he been adjusting to – fuck all!
‘Kate, there really wasn’t a lot for me to remember. You made it quite clear how you felt – or, more to the point, how I should feel,’ he replies in a stern tone.
‘Why are you being like this?’ I look across at him.
‘I’m protecting my girlfriend.’
‘Is that what you call it? I was thinking you were being overbearing.’
He laughs at me.
‘It’s not bloody funny! You’re pissing me off – I think you should take me back to your house.’ I look out of the window and gaze into the darkness. I can see the lights of London in the distance and the greasy burger van parked nearby.
‘My house – is that how you feel?’
I don’t answer him. I know how much he loves it when I ignore him.
‘Kate, look at me for fuck’s sake.’ Luke’s anger is rising.
I turn to look at him. ‘No… that’s not how I feel.’ Honesty always prevails.
‘Then why say it?’
‘Because I did. Do I need a reason?’
‘Yes, you do.’
‘Actually, I don’t. I can say what I like, with or without reason, or do you want to tell me what to say as well? Because that is never going to happen. I was happy to see you on the dance floor and now you’ve upset me – for what? For no bloody reason. Just because I went out with my friends, and I suggested going to your club, because I knew you would rather that. Next time I won’t be so considerate of my controlling, fucking-useless-at-adjusting boyfriend! Next time I will wear my nightdress and go clubbing somewhere else… Would you prefer that?’
His mouth locks on to mine before I get a chance to finish my rant.
I try to move, but he has me pinned to the seat, taking every bit of air from my lungs. His tongue pierces me. My body has no self-control, and my anger changes to pleasure. He still turns me on, even when I’m angry at him. He slides his hand up my skirt and inside my knickers, reaching my clit. The circular motion of his fingers against the softness of my skin guarantees that I will be under his spell in no time at all.
Luke breaks free, enabling me to catch my breath.
‘Get in the back.’ I can feel his breath against my skin.
‘If I say no?’ How many more Sutton buttons can I push?
‘I’m going to fuck you, so I suggest you get in the back.’ His hands are at my face, then travelling down to my breast, as he searches for my hardened nipples. ‘Kate, you want this as much as I do.’
Shit, he’s right. As usual I don’t have the power to say no. I open the door and step out. Luke joins me. He reaches the front passenger seat and presses a button, moving the seat forward.
He stands in front of me. Within kissing distance. He reaches under my skirt and rips my knickers from me, tossing them to the ground. Wow – he has lost all sense of logic.
He slides in the rear seat and begins to undo his trousers. ‘Straddle me.’
As requested, I spread my legs and straddle him. Luke shuts the door and pulls my face to his.
‘You drive me fucking crazy. I want to lock you up and do bad things to you. Do you know what you do to me?’
At least he’s being honest – maybe a little too honest…
I kiss him with heartfelt emotion.
I reach for his erection. Luke pulls down his trousers and boxers so I can handle him more easily. He pushes my skirt up and over my hips – ironically, it does look like a belt! He slides his fingers deep inside me, his usual gentlemanly way of ensuring I’m ready for him – I have never not been ready for him.
I lift my hips, guiding his hardness into me, feeling the head of his erection pressing against me. I begin slowly but, needing more, I move with force, craving intense pressure, using him as a tool for my frustration.
‘Fuck… You’re going to break me.’
‘I need it hard – you make me so cross.’
‘Back at you.’
I control myself and continue rising and impaling him hard, squeezing him deep inside me. His breathing shallows and the emotional barriers he built through anger begin to subside.
He pulls the straps of my top down my arms, almost trapping me, but giving him the opportunity to release my nipples. He tilts me backwards. My head almost makes contact with the headrest of the front passenger seat. He shifts his hips, raising his pelvis, so I can take him deeper. At last, he gives me what I need, where I need it. His hand moves to my clit, touching me with his usual firm motion.
I don’t need any time to build, as my frustration with Luke – physically and emotionally – takes control over my body, and so does the rush of my orgasm. I move faster, giving him the powe
r he needs to come.
‘Kate, keep going.’
I continue, even though my body is racked by the force of my orgasm, which seems to have lasted longer than usual. Is this due to Luke pissing me off? He grips my hips as he offloads himself.
His hand is at my neck, running his fingers down to my nipples and then to my clit, circling my sensitive spot.
‘I need more? This is what you do to me. Tonight has been the hardest; you make me so angry… Fuck, I wish we had more room. I want to be on top of you.’
I kiss him greedily. Luke reaches down and feels my wetness; the copious amount of fluid produced by us both. He rubs the warm fluid around my clit.
‘You’re so wet.’
His kiss is raw and strong; so raw he bites my lower lip, making me groan, and touch him with more power. The second time around feels more intense.
‘Squeeze me – I need to come. Fuck, Kate, I need it harder.’
He lifts my hips as I come down harder on him, tipping me over the edge as he joins me. ‘Yes… That’s it, baby, yes, harder. Fuck,’ he hisses.
I lose myself to yet another orgasm.
My eyes fill with tears. I collapse, laying my head on Luke’s chest, and sob gently. He wraps his arms around me.
‘Time, Kate, that’s what we need.’ He runs his hands through my hair and gently strokes my back.
‘I know,’ I manage to say. ‘You make me so angry. I can’t take it when you tell me what to do, so how will we get past this?’
He pulls my face to his. ‘We will. I’m trying, baby… I need time too.’ He kisses my forehead and lifts my hips. ‘Let’s get you home.’
He opens the door and I climb out. My legs feel weak. Luke immediately opens the passenger door, returning the seat to its original position.
‘Do you need some tissues?’
‘Honestly, I need more than tissues; twice requires a shower.’ Luke’s frustration is running down my legs.
I readjust my skirt and collect my knickers from the grass.
We sit in silence.
Luke leans forward and places a tender kiss on my lips, which are bruised in the aftermath of his brutal attack.
‘Kate, I’m trying.’ He sighs. ‘I saw red tonight. You make me see red.’
‘Back at you… I saw all the colours of the bloody rainbow.’
He shakes his head. ‘Of course you would… Red is a bad colour for me: it takes me to a place that I don’t want to visit.’
‘What place? You’ve mentioned this before.’
‘I can’t, Kate.’
‘Can’t or won’t talk about it? You can trust me.’
‘I know.’ He looks away.
Maybe tonight is not the right time to push him for information, yet he’s hiding something.
‘Luke, can I be blunt with you?’ I look at him, even though the darkness means I can only see the outline of his face.
‘You mean you’re not always?’ My sarcastic manner seems to be rubbing off on Luke.
‘I never mean to offend you, but I have to be honest – it’s the only way I can be with you.’
He pulls my hand to his lips. ‘I know.’
‘We’ve only been together – properly together – for a few days, and you say you’re trying to adjust, but I don’t see it. You said yourself that you saw red. You behaved like a bloody lunatic.’
‘Believe me, these are new emotions for me too.’
‘Oh.’ I assumed that he was a controlling lunatic in all his past relationships – lucky me to hit the jackpot!
He runs his hands through his hair and closes his eyes. ‘I need to work on this – your freedom and my sanity.’
‘Yes, you do. You were so cross with me, Luke; it’s scary.’
He takes my hand and brings it to his lips. ‘I would never hurt you.’
Rough sex confuses me – I love it and want more…
‘I know my outfit was a little… revealing. Believe me, it was the best choice I had, other than my bra.’
‘So, we need to get your clothes to your new home – are we still calling it your new home?’ Luke takes my hand.
‘I’m sorry, I was angry at you. I didn’t mean it.’ I look down at my hands and sigh.
Luke lifts my chin to his in the dark. ‘Me too.’
‘I do see it as my new home, especially having everyone over for dinner; it reminded me of living with Harry.’
Still holding my hand, he gently touches my knuckles with his thumb.
‘I’m aware you chose SGI for me, and even more aware that you could have gone anywhere tonight, knowing Kiki and Barney were with you.’
‘I thought it would soften the blow; they didn’t mind where we went. I saw the tickets and thought you would be OK with it.’ I look at him, the pitch-black surrounding us. ‘Luke, I need my freedom.’
He takes a deep breath.
‘Luke.’
‘I know, that’s number ninety-nine on my list of adjustments.’
I laugh. ‘That many? Dare I ask what number one is?’
‘To protect you.’
‘Luke, I would never hurt you, but you have to give me this – let me be me. That was a condition when I moved in.’
‘Yes, and one of mine was allowing me to fuck up.’ He leans over and kisses me. ‘Kate, don’t emasculate me. I will never back down on protecting you. Don’t try to make me weak. Where you’re concerned, it will not happen – it happened once and you got the shit kicked out of you. Never again will I allow it. This is who I am; you’ll have to accept this part of me.’
‘I guess we both have changes to make.’
‘So it would seem. Now, home and bath.’ I can see the shadows of Luke’s smile. At last his anger has been put to rest – but for how long?
21
‘Jerry, if you don’t decide where you want me to put this bloody flowerpot, I swear to God you’ll be wearing it.’
‘Fine. Leave it there.’
Stressed-out Jerry is proving to be a pain in my arse.
‘What’s left on your list?’ I ask.
I pray that it’s nearly over; we only have this afternoon to finalise any details before the guests arrive. Jerry retrieves his list from his back pocket, scratching his bristly chin.
‘There are two large urns to move, as the party organisers don’t like where they are, and we have to hose the back patio area around the greenhouse.’
‘OK. You move the urns, as you know where you want them, and I’ll hose down the patio area. Does that sound like a plan?’
‘What would I do without you, flower?’
Thank God Jerry leaves me to it; I thought he was going to give me a lesson in using the hose. Having been taught various useless tasks over the past forty-eight hours, who would have thought Jerry was a person with a controlling nature? It must be this bloody house!
The party organisers have transformed the garden into a stunning sea of white. From the white leather sofas, dining table and chairs to the white tables that are illuminated with white urns and cascading white flowers, it does resemble a wedding. Near the swimming pool there is another magnificent white marquee for all the delicious food that the caterers are meticulously preparing – as expected, not a sausage roll in sight!
Alone at the end of the garden, I decide to listen to music, not only to drum out the sound of the jet-washer but also to forget last night. The Harper–Sutton battle was exhausting for us both, if only judging by Luke, who fell asleep before I did – a rare treat. To watch him sleep confirmed my feelings, which I’m too afraid to admit.
Music is clearly not having the desired effect as my mind wanders. No regrets: I convince myself that is the only motto I need. I increase the volume. Usher now bellows through my eardrums, ironically singing ‘Scream’ – the song from last night,
with its words that remind me of our relationship. Perhaps this is our song – Christ, he makes me want to scream.
Someone taps my shoulder. With no regard for the hose in my hand, I turn.
‘Crap.’ I move the nozzle and my ear buds. ‘Sorry.’
‘I’m not sure I needed another shower.’ Luke shakes his shoes to rid them of water.
‘Shiny shoes.’ I chuckle.
‘I have a meeting with Zhan.’ He looks at his watch. ‘I should be no longer than a couple of hours. Do you need me before I go?’
I tilt my head.
‘Kate Harper, you’re becoming increasingly insatiable. What am I to do with you?’
Does he really want me to answer that?
‘I’m fine. Hopefully, this is the last of my jobs.’ I lean in to give Luke a kiss.
He looks at me from head to toe. ‘Have you been rolling in mud?’
‘It’s the hose and the sweeping. You look impeccable as usual.’ He’s in his signature black suit; my favourite look on him. Well, one of my favourites…
Assessing the only part of my body that remains free from dirt and grime, he places a kiss on my cheek.
‘Stay out of trouble.’ He looks at me with his one-sided smile, which reaches a part of my body that doesn’t need disturbing at this moment in time.
After two hours of wrestling with the hose, I return to the main garden. Only an hour and half remains until the guests begin to arrive. Everywhere looks fabulous; this will be some party. I wish Harry and the pack were able to attend – they would love it. I see a frantic Jerry heading in my direction, and hear him swearing in his broad accent.
‘What now?’
‘I just checked the lights on the Victorian summer house and some of the bloody bulbs aren’t working.’
‘Change them. You have time.’
‘I can’t – they’re on the roof.
‘And?’ I respond with exasperation. Thank God this party is only held once a year.
‘I don’t like heights,’ he says.
‘Give them to me; I’ll do it. Where are the ladders?’
‘No. If you fall…’ He warily looks at me.