by F. C. Clark
Luke leans against the wall, afraid of what I may say or do. He is lost for words.
‘Declan should not…’
‘I don’t think so,’ I point at him venomously. ‘Don’t you dare say that your brother shouldn’t have told me. He had the balls to say something – actually, that’s not true: he assumed I knew. In fact, I heard about it from Zhan yesterday. Guess what? He also thought I knew.’ My anger is brimming and I know I’m going to throw up.
I rush past Luke and into the bathroom, reaching the toilet just in time, as my stomach empties with pain and the tequila I’ve consumed. Luke places his hand on my back. I pathetically try to brush him off.
‘Don’t touch me’ is all I manage to say before my stomach contracts.
I stand and run the shower, stripping off my clothes. I turn and come face to face with my reflection. Christ, I look like an extra from a bloody horror film, with mascara streaked down my cheeks. I grab my toothbrush and step in the shower, needing to erase tonight and wash myself of the sick feelings it has caused. Turning my back to Luke, my tears continue to cascade down my cheeks, my mind exhausted and my emotions in tatters.
I step out of the shower, take the towel Luke has waiting for me, and rush back to my bedroom. Opening a drawer, I grab a vest and shorts. I will be sleeping here – alone.
‘Kate, I fucked up. I should have said something to you. I realise that now, but she didn’t even enter my mind. My mum was shocked I hadn’t told you.’
‘Great, so you’re here because your mum told you to come? Well, don’t let me stop you from leaving. I don’t want you here – just go.’
‘You don’t mean that.’
‘That’s where you’re wrong. I do mean it. Go back to the party and hook up with your ex. Everyone will be so delighted – like-minded people.’ I pick up my brush and try to detangle my hair.
‘Don’t go on a mission to self-destruct. For Christ’s sake, you know how I feel about you.’
‘Well, I did. Do you know what really hurts? Everyone knew who she was except me, making me look like a complete fucking idiot – thanks for that. But what really hurts is that you look good together; like you belong together. Seeing your arm around her just…’ I can’t finish the sentence; the pain I feel is too deep. ‘Luke, I told you we’re from different worlds, and this proves my theory.’
‘What the fuck are you talking about? No, I don’t belong with her! As for the bullshit of where we’re from, that is your fucking issue.’
‘No it’s not, Luke. I don’t wear designer clothes; I would rather stay in and cook than go to fancy restaurants. I don’t have manicures. Fiona cuts and highlights my fucking hair – we are worlds apart. I want a simple life.’
‘Stop this now – you’re turning tonight into an issue about money, and it’s not. Yes, I fucked up, that’s all it is.’
‘Yes, you did fuck up. I can’t look at you, Luke – you have hurt me more than you know. Regardless of how long she’s been your ex, you should have told me. You asked this woman to share your life, and I would say that is a huge part of your history. How would you have felt if we turned up at my parents’ and I went off talking to the man I used to fuck, and was going to marry?’ I begin to cry, and Luke walks towards me. ‘No, please don’t come near me – I need you to go. I need to be on my own.’
‘Kate, don’t push me out.’
‘Luke, you did that yourself – why do you think this kills me so much? Jesus, Luke, I love you.’
His dark eyes bore into me, shocked at my admission.
‘Please don’t make this any harder. Please just go… I need to be alone.’
He turns and exits my room, leaving devastation in his wake. I climb into bed and cry. I sob into my pillow, with a pull at my heart that is like no other pain I’ve ever felt. He has me. We are worlds apart, but our souls are together…
23
I wake and reach for my phone. I wince at the illuminated screen – three o’clock in the morning. My throat burns. I need a drink. No amount of sleep can numb the pain I feel.
I slip on my robe and head downstairs to the kitchen. I open the door to the fridge.
‘Having a fridge moment?’
Fuck. I hear a voice in the pitch-black – a familiar sound.
‘Luke?’ My eyes adjust to the dim light, as the outline of his face becomes visible.
‘I said I would never leave you. I wanted to be the first person you saw when you woke up. It’s been that way since the day I met you.’
My tears fall and my body crumples to the floor. I need him so much. The pain is too intense. Luke moves instantly, wrapping his strong arms firmly around my shaking torso.
‘Shhh, I have you, I will never let you go.’ He scoops me up in his arms and carries me upstairs. Laying me on the bed, he removes his clothes and slides his naked body beside me, holding me, waiting for my tears to ease.
‘Kate, I’m sorry. There’ll never be anyone else; this is meant to be.’
I nod; it’s too painful. His taut body becomes my armour, protecting me against outside influences that may harm us. My tears begin to ease and my erratic breathing slows. I lift my head.
‘You really hurt me.’ I speak through my sobs.
‘I know, baby, I have no excuses. I fucked up. It was over years ago; there is nothing between us.’ He kisses my forehead.
‘I thought you left… I didn’t expect to see you downstairs.’
‘You may have told me to leave, but I wasn’t going anywhere. Never will I walk out on you.’ He closes his eyes and brings me closer to him. The evidence is plain to see: he looks guilty, as he did when I was attacked. ‘Harry arrived home an hour ago, and she was a little surprised to see me. I explained what happened and why I was lurking in her kitchen.’
‘Oh.’
‘Naturally, she agreed with you. I fucked up and it was wrong not to tell you. Kate, I know you don’t give your heart easily. I don’t want to lose you. Christ, I’ve only just found you.’
I kiss his lips gently, my first response to his declaration.
‘I’ve told you I’m all or nothing. This is what happens when I let my guard down…’ I look into his eyes. ‘Luke, I love you.’ I say it again, but this time there is no anger fuelling the words.
He smiles. I can sense he is unsure of my physical state. Although calmness is winning my battle of emotions, we both know that the slightest ill-judged word may restart the storm.
‘You have my word, this will never happen again.’ He brushes his hand through my hair.
‘Good.’ My eyes meet his. ‘If you have an ex-wife or illegitimate children I think now would be a good time to disclose them.’ I try to smile through my pain.
He laughs. ‘None that I know of.’ He is trying to humour me.
‘Good – let’s keep it that way.’
He kisses me with tenderness in his touch, allowing his tongue to soothe the hurt he’s caused. My body instantly accepts his physical contact. This is what I need; to feel him. I kiss him with purpose, wanting more.
He pulls away from my mouth, leaving me perplexed.
‘Baby.’ He takes a deep breath. ‘I want this to work… I don’t want to fuck it up again.’
‘Luke, this is how we connect, when you touch me.’ I place my hand on his cheek. ‘My heart tells me you didn’t mean to hurt me. I just saw red – jealousy.’ My eyes shift awkwardly from his.
‘I would never hurt you. It’s history. You, more than anyone, understand I only do what I want. You, baby, are what I want, and need.’
I nod. ‘Even so. The thought of you and her, and… that you could have married her, and we… we would never have met.’
‘Lucky escape.’ He smiles and brushes loose strands of hair away from my face. ‘Fate, baby, that’s what we are.’
‘It’s madness to f
eel like this after a few days. I need you.’
‘You have me, always.’
My hands pull him towards me, allowing my lips to touch his.
He leans up and pulls me with me, removing my robe and vest top, working his way to my shorts. Returning me to my horizontal position, he begins to kiss me with passion, taking my breath away. My body responds far too quickly, yearning for him.
He lies between my thighs. I feel his erection at the edge of my sex. Within seconds he enters me. We begin to lose ourselves in passion.
I wake up to Luke touching my face, propped up on his elbow, wearing a broad smile.
‘Morning, beautiful, and how do you feel?’
‘My head hurts a little. I’m not sure if that’s due to the tequila or my impossible boyfriend.’ I raise my brows and touch his face.
‘It sounds like your boyfriend has a considerable amount of making up to do.’
‘Bet your arse he does. I’m thinking he can be my sex slave until further notice.’ I laugh at my plan.
‘Seriously, have you forgiven me and my poor judgement?’ I look away and take a deep breath. Luke tries to read my eyes. ‘Baby, I mean it – tell me how you feel?’
‘Yes, I have.’ The heaviness of the conversation so early in the morning is a little hard to swallow. ‘Luke, my heart died a thousand deaths last night.’
‘Shhh. I told you I would never leave you. Christ, Kate, there has never been anyone that makes me feel like you do. I need you to accept that.’ He plants a tender kiss on the softness of my mouth. He pulls away and smiles at me. ‘Therefore you are mine: I own you, body and soul. I couldn’t let you go even if I wanted to. Kate Harper, you have possessed me.’ He kisses my forehead and rubs his nose along mine.
‘I feel the same; that’s what scares me.’
‘Onwards and upwards, baby. Do you want to discuss this any more?’
‘No.’ I smile, needing to change the subject – rapidly.
‘Good, because there’s something I do want to discuss with you. Your birthday tomorrow – I have an entire day planned for you.’
‘Oh. Will I get to see my family?’
Luke flashes me his one-sided smile – he’s withholding information.
‘Leave it with me. Do you trust me to do that?’
I nod.
‘Good. I need to go. It’s seven thirty, and I have to drop my car off before I go to work. What do you have planned for the day?’
‘Lunch with Kiki and Henry – he always takes me out for my birthday. Before you ask, I’ll get a cab there.’
‘OK. Sounds like fun, and then what will you do?’ I know he is asking me whether I still live with him.
‘I’m not sure. Maybe prepare dinner – but I do have to work tonight.’ I blow air through my lips. ‘I have to hand in my notice.’
‘Good.’
‘Can you pick me up? If it’s too late, I can get a cab home.’
I can feel his chest expand with relief, in the knowledge that I am referring to his home as our home.
‘Of course I will collect you, and no, I don’t want you getting a cab late at night.’
He kisses me and stands, allowing me to take in my favourite view in the world – naked Luke Sutton. Will I ever get used to my need for sexual voyeurism? Hell, no…
‘Kate, I can see you watching me.’
‘Good. I’m not hiding.’
Some breakfast is what I need, to soak up the pain and the tequila. Harry walks into the kitchen and straight to me, placing her arms around my shoulders.
‘Is everything OK? I heard Luke in your room this morning, when Raymond left.’
‘Yes, thank God. Last night was a bloody nightmare. I thought…’ I shake my head. ‘Luke told me that he saw you and explained what happened.’
She frowns. ‘I felt sorry for him. He looked like a lost soul. Luke Sutton – lost. I never saw that coming. I think he thought you never wanted to see him again.’ Harry touches my arm.
‘I was so angry with him, more because everyone knew she was his ex-fiancée except me. Christ, he made me look an idiot.’ I take my coffee. ‘To be honest, she seemed quite nice, unlike the super-bitch. Even so, it killed me knowing that he asked her to marry him.’
‘I totally understand – although he’s never mentioned her, she’s obviously not in his life now. It would have never been worth splitting up over. You can see how much he’s in to you… hook, line and sinker.’
‘I know. It was the shock of seeing them together.’ I swallow hard, not wanting to relive the vision that’s in my head, which I know will remain there for eternity. ‘Anyway, I’ve had enough drama over the last forty-eight hours to last me a lifetime.’ A quizzical expression sweeps across Harry’s face. ‘The super-bitch – but that can wait for another time. Tell me, how was France?’
She smiles, lost in the world of all things French – or, should I say, all things to do with Monsieur Raymond.
‘I love it there, and I’m totally picking up the language.’
‘Voulez-vous coucher avec moi…’ I sing, laughing.
‘You just asked me for a shag,’ Harry chuckles.
‘At least I’ll never be alone in France.’
‘I guess not… Why don’t you and Luke come with us next time, get away from all your dramas?’
‘I would love that.’
‘Birthday girl tomorrow.’
‘Apparently, Luke has a day planned for me.’
Harry smirks.
‘Give it up, Harriet Harper, do you have info?’
‘Yes, and I’m not telling you – wait and see.’
After breakfast, I dress, then survey my reflection in the hall mirror. I have chosen a short flowing cream lace skirt, a cream sheer vest and a cream tuxedo jacket. This morning has confirmed that I’m a clothes addict; I miss every item I own.
I step out of the cab and instantly feel the sun. With an hour to spare, I have some time for window shopping. First I need to withdraw some cash. I tap in my code, and do a double-take at the figures on the black screen; the flashing green numbers are clearly incorrect. I request a printout of the latest statement. The figures remain the same. I enter the bank and head towards the customer service desk.
‘Good morning, how may I help you?’ The young man fidgets.
‘Hi, I’ve just printed a statement and… it’s wrong.’ I pass the bank clerk my printout. ‘Could you check this for me? I assume you need ID.’
‘Yes, I do.’
‘Driving licence?’ I’m already retrieving my purse for my photo ID.
‘Yes.’ He takes my ID and bank card, and validates the information. ‘Please take a seat, Miss Harper.’ He taps away at his keyboard, glancing at me every now and then. ‘This does seem to be the correct amount.’
‘In that case, can you tell me who deposited the money into my account, and when?’
‘Certainly,’ he says.
Silence falls between us. I know the name of the depositor; I just need clarification of it so I can kick his arse.
‘It was deposited on Friday, by Sutton Global Industries – the amount of two hundred thousand pounds.’
‘Can you transfer two hundred thousand pounds back to Sutton Global Industries immediately? How long will it take?’
‘A day – well, it will show later today.’
‘Good; please do that for me.’ I smile, but I want to scream at my boyfriend.
‘Can I help you with anything else?’
Do you have a gun?
‘No. Thank you for your help.’
With time to kill and since I’m not too far away from Luke’s office, or my lunch date, I decide a quick bollocking is in order. I enter Luke’s lair for the first time since our initial meeting. Brazen Harper has entered the building: watch your back
, Mr Sutton.
I reach the turnstiles, and realise I need a security badge to enter. As I turn, I notice Declan coming towards me.
‘Kate. Christ, you’re a sight for sore eyes.’ He gives me a kiss. ‘Bloody happy to see you after last night… Luke lost it. He was really pissed off at me.’
‘I guessed as much – sorry about that.’
‘It’s not your fault. He and Mum had words. Christ, I’ve not seem them go at it for years. I made a sharp exit; it was bloody tense.’
‘We sorted things out. But I feel bad for your mum.’
‘She likes you, Kate. What she didn’t like was that Luke could have fucked it up.’
‘Oh.’ What the hell do I say to that?
‘I’m pleased you worked it out. You look as hot as ever.’
I laugh. ‘I didn’t realise you worked here.’
‘I do now – that business venture Luke set up is here, a floor below his office.’
‘Oh good, I’m pleased it’s working out for you. Can you get me in? I don’t have a security badge.’
‘Yeah, sure.’ Declan disappears to the security desk and returns with a badge. We make our way to the lift. Once inside he presses the floor that I need, and the floor below for himself.
‘Kate – see you soon.’
‘Take care, Declan.’ The door closes, and the lift starts again, ascending to the top floor, delivering me to Mr Monopoly – who I intend to put in his place.
I exit the lift and approach Luke’s office confidently, passing various faces, some of which look familiar. Stella looks up from her desk as I approach.
‘Kate, what a lovely surprise.’
‘Hi Stella, this won’t take a moment.’ I head straight to the office door. She calls my name, but her words fall on deaf ears.
The view of Luke standing at his desk almost throws me off course and makes me forget the reason I’m here. He looks up.
‘Kate.’ A smile breaks over his face; I’m guessing he’s pleased at the view of his surprise visitor.