If Only (Captured)

by Louise J

  “No. You didn’t know I’d be here, either, did you?”

  She shakes her head. “Dane and Su knew, though.”

  “I was waiting for Adam. He’s supposed to be coming with Saffron and Nathaniel.”

  She twists around, searching the amusements behind us. I can’t look anywhere else, but at her. “I think I see Adam,” she says.

  Our gazes collide as she turns back to me. My heart stutters. And I just fell in love with her all over again. I didn’t even know that was possible, I never stopped in the first place.

  We get up and walk to the others. I adore the way she keeps watching Jack as he runs toward Nathaniel, a smile playing on her lips. When we reach them, Adam and Saffron seem just as surprised to see her, so it’s obvious only Su and Dane knew she’d returned. Saffron and Callie lock into an excited and long embrace, muffled words passing between them. Adam follows after.

  For a short time the only person missing is Gerard, and when he arrives he’s just as astonished to see Callie as everyone else was. He charges at her, and she knows better than to wait. We’re all highly entertained watching him chase her. Once she and Gerard have their moment, it’s just like all the times we hung out before – only there are two little people included in the group now.

  It all feels perfectly right.

  We’ve spent the entire afternoon in the carnival. When we get to the parking lot, Callie shows off her hippie bus. Jack and Nathaniel have fun climbing around inside, though the funky outside intrigues them the most. Gerard seems quite excited by it, too. Cars are his passion, but I didn’t expect a vehicle like this to hold much interest for him.

  “You could totally pimp this ride, Callie. Small TV, some nice seating, there’s a lot more you can do with this. I could help you with it.” His eager gaze continues to roam the interior.

  “I’ll have you know, I love her as she is. I don’t need to pimp her.” Same cute attitude as always, she continues, “Roberta’s perfect.”

  He shakes his head, blatantly disapproving. “Whatever. I still think you should pimp this baby.”

  I can see by Callie’s face that she loves it just as it is and no way in hell is she changing her hippie bus.

  It’s around ten p.m., I’ve just arrived home. Callie’s been on my mind constantly since I left the carnival. If I hadn’t had Jack with me, I wouldn’t have let her go. So now that he’s in bed at his mom’s house, and I’m here, I’m calling her.

  I sit on the couch, select her in my cell, and dial. She answers, clearly surprised, but she seems happy to hear from me. Damn, it’s been a long time since we did this.

  “What’s up?” I ask.

  “I’m in bed reading.”

  “What are you reading?”

  “Some murder mystery. It’s quite good, I’m almost done.” So many other things she could be doing right now instead.

  “When are you coming to see my house?”

  “When you invite me.” I heard her smile.

  “You’re invited. Come tomorrow.”

  “Tomorrow?” That was a shock to her. I hope it pleased her, too. I’m not sure where things are going with us, but I’m not wasting any time. Not this time.

  “Yeah, why not?”

  “No reason, I guess.” Can I wait that long?

  “What are you wearing?” I’ve wanted to know that from the moment I knew where she was and I’m past that stage of not asking what I want to ask her.

  She giggles. “Joe, are you really asking me what I’m wearing?”

  “I am.” My tone was serious, and if she’s paying attention she’ll know I’m horny. In my mind, as always, she’s naked. The thought alone is making me hard.

  “Well.” She laughs. Not nervous, just amused. “A green T-shirt, which is about two sizes too small. I think whoever owned it first shrunk it bad, because it’s so not a kid’s.” She giggles again, still surprised by my question.

  “And?”

  “Black panties.” Fuck yeah. Planted right there, the image of her; sexy curves, tight T-shirt showing her lower belly and hips, and her little panties.

  “That sounds very nice.” Tempting, tasty…

  “Thanks.” She’s smiling.

  “Hold up!” A thought occurs to my just-about-still-there brain. “Why would you buy a green T-shirt that’s too small when you could get one from any store? And why is it not suitable for a kid?”

  I pick up on the embarrassment in her giggle now. I’m even more intrigued. “Because of the design on it, it’s definitely, totally not okay for a child. Su and I couldn’t stop laughing when we saw it at a yard sale. I had to buy it. Oh, no, please don’t ask me to describe it.”

  “Now that’s just asking for me to ask, you can’t not tell me now.”

  “It’s just, um … you know, different.”

  “Tell me.”

  She sighs. “Okay, it has a toadstool on it. There you have it.”

  “Not good enough.”

  She chuckles. “Fuck you, Joe. It’s a toadstool that looks like something else, which almost looks like a toadstool, and it says ‘sit on me.’ There. Next question?” I laugh, and so does she. “What are you doing, Joe?”

  I’m still amused, but let her change the subject and only because I have other questions I want to ask.

  Sixty Four: Callie

  I hang up the phone feeling overjoyed. Joe is just a short ride away, and things are looking good. I can’t wait for his call in the morning.

  Relaxing back against my pillows, I try to continue reading, but I realize after a few pages that I haven’t taken in a single word. My mind’s on overdrive; not only is Joe calling me tomorrow, but I’m going to his house.

  I am going to Joe’s house. Shittt! Stick a great big giant-sized happy face right on the end of that one!

  I’m too thrilled to do anything that requires focus. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep. I feel like I could run a freakin’ marathon with all this excited energy I have humming through me.

  After a few minutes, I return to where I was in my book before Joe’s call. Maybe I’ll get somewhere this time.

  As I turn to the last page of my novel, my cell chimes. I glance at the name that flashes up on the caller ID. “Joe?” I answer, unable to hide my surprise. He said he’d contact me in the morning, I didn’t expect that to be on the stroke of midnight.

  “Baby cake,” he says.

  Hearing those two words makes me tingle all over. “Yes?” I’m smiling like the cat that got the cream. The buzzer sounds. “Just a sec, I think someone’s at the door.”

  “I’ll wait.”

  I put the phone on my nightstand, drop my read on the bed and charge through to the intercom in the living room. “Hello,” I answer, feeling majorly inconvenienced.

  “Baby cake.”

  “Joe?” I’m grinning again.

  “Yes.”

  “How’d you … I get it, now I know why you asked all those questions about my apartment.”

  “Can I come in?”

  I hit the button and let him through the main entrance. Quickly, I slip the chain on my front door. I’m so excited my hands are shaking. My hair is down and I don’t have the time to go check if it’s messy, so I quickly finger comb it.

  He knocks, twice, and I open up, allowing only the gap the chain enables. Standing there in a black leather jacket, dark red T-shirt and black jeans, he laughs, grasping what I’m up to. I position myself behind the door, resting my forearm against the frame. My heart’s flipping, my body’s tingling, but I’m playing it cool.

  Joe shifts toward the narrow space, mirroring my position, our faces just inches apart.

  “What are you doing here?” I look up into his darkened, intense eyes. Oh, wow.

  “You invited me.”

  “I did?”

  He nods, smiling with certainty. “Yes, you did.” Shit, he’s sexy. Horny. Intent. Holy shit!

  “Okay. You’ll need to take your boots off, no footwear in my pl
ace.” Clothes, too I think, but I don’t say it aloud. I slip out the chain and step back.

  Joe walks in. I close the door behind him and lean back against it with my hands clasped behind me. I watch him as he stands taking in my living room.

  “Very nice,” he says. He sounds so enticing, I want to eat him.

  The only light is coming from the lamp on my nightstand and it’s shining through from my bedroom. It’s bright enough for a faultless and complete view of him.

  He turns to face me. “Very nice,” he says, again, scanning me from head to toe. His stare lingers on my exposed tummy and hips, a knowing grin tugging at his lips. “That is a nice T-shirt.” We hold each other’s gazes.

  “Boots,” I say.

  He smiles and complies.

  After Joe puts his helmet and his gloves down and hangs his jacket up, I watch him take off his footwear. At what point did observing a man carrying out such a simple task become so arousing? This right here, this sight is crazy sexy. The muscles in his back press against his T-shirt, his muscular, inked arms flex with his movement, and those hands, oh, those talented, capable hands.

  I want to feel them all over me, inside me. Damn.

  As he straightens up, our gazes lock again. Sure, there’s love, of course there’s love, but most dominant right now … fucking, having sex, making love. Call it what you like – we all know what’s going to happen.

  Joe approaches me. My insides feel hot and I’m throbbing viciously between my legs. I remain motionless, waiting, looking up at him. He brings his finger tips to my cheek, barely touching it, and slowly moves his soft lips to mine, pressing lightly against them. It’s pure magic. My skin prickles all over, the sensation a shimmer. He lingers for a moment and then he pecks the tip of my nose. “I’ve wanted to do that all day,” he whispers.

  When his mouth returns to mine, we fall into something profound and slow, something laced with a mix of distant familiarity and new discovery. A moan rises up from my chest, into my throat, escaping into our kiss. Taking me by the waist, Joe lifts me and I wrap my arms and legs around him, enveloping his body with mine. Deeply stroking tongues, sensual swirls, we’re kissing like we have an eternity to do it. I thrill in the feeling as I thread my fingers into his soft hair. Mingled with the scent of his cologne is the smell of him, I feel drunk on it.

  I’m vaguely aware of him walking us to my big slouchy couch. Without breaking our connection, he lowers me onto it and lies on top of me. For a long time we do little more than kiss, occasionally teasing each other’s lips with playful grips of teeth and lightly tracing tongues. With our hands, we mutually stroke each other outside of our clothes and across exposed flesh.

  Joe eases his mouth away from mine and rises to kneel between my thighs. “Cherries,” he says, quietly.

  “What?”

  “You smell of cherries.” He’s looking at me all over and unrushed. I lay watching him as he does.

  He starts to lift my too small T-shirt, and I assist by wriggling out of it. Next he peels down my panties and takes them off. The way his gaze is exploring my nakedness, it feels like he’s making love to me with his eyes. Slowly, his finger tips travel down the center of my body. “You’re perfect,” he whispers, as though he’s seeing me for the first time.

  I need him close to me, his flesh against mine. “Take your clothes off, Joe.” I want to watch him do it.

  He removes his T-shirt, revealing his torso with one swift movement. I re-familiarize myself with the angels that cover his right arm, the curves and spikes of his tribal tattoo down the left side and over his pec, and finally the bar through his right nipple. I watch his hands as he unbuckles his belt, opens his button and lowers the zipper. Sitting sideways to me, still between my legs, he takes off his jeans and underwear.

  Back on his knees, he lowers himself down toward me, placing his hot mouth over my breast. The heat makes me gasp, and before I resume normal breathing, he sucks my nipple between his teeth, sending sensations all the way down to my slick folds. My throbbing intensifies further. “I feel like I’m going to explode,” I just about manage to say, arching unavoidably.

  “You’re in trouble tonight if you feel like that already,” he says, against my skin.

  Kisses move down, unrushed and torturously so, soft lips pressing and trailing tip of tongue; between my breasts, across my lower ribs, swirling in my navel and so, so slowly across my lower tummy. He stops between my thighs, making me exhale hard. I’ve been holding my breath and I didn’t even know it. “Joe, I don’t think I can stand this,” I sob, biting down desperately on my bottom lip, to the point it hurts, and gripping the couch tightly within my fists.

  Kindly, he doesn’t delay. With his determined caress on my clit, intense pleasure surges right to my center, exploding on impact, making my entire body shudder and I scream out. I throw my hands over my face, and warm tears roll from my eyes. This is all so beautifully devastating, and my tears are nothing but pure bliss and love.

  Joe moves up over me and guides my hands away. He gently wipes away the wetness on my face, with his thumbs, at the same time murmuring sweet words. He slides his arms under me to lift me.

  Carrying me, Joe takes me to my bedroom and lays me down on my bed. Picking up my book, he dismissively drops it on my nightstand. I can’t help laughing at that. We start kissing, my lips feel a little tender, but I don’t care. As he lowers himself onto me, the feel of his solid cock against me re-ignites my desire. I grasp his hips and tilt my pelvis, pressing against him. “I need you, Joe,” I plead into his mouth. My eyelids snap open. “Shit!”

  “What?” he asks.

  “I don’t have condoms.”

  I have no protection.

  I’m not impressed.

  Joe laughs. It’s a slightly frustrated laugh of disbelief, but he’s amused nonetheless. “You stay right here and do not move, not even an inch.” He gets up off me.

  His word is final.

  I do not move.

  Not much, anyway.

  Once he leaves, I text Sue telling her; Joe was here. He’s coming back. xxx

  Within seconds my cell phone chimes and the name ‘Su,’ along with a cool picture of the two of us, flashes up on the touch screen.

  “Joe’s with you? Are you serious?” she whispers, like we’re sharing a secret.

  “Yeah,” I whisper, unintentionally, “he just showed up after we spoke on the phone. We were getting it on, but I have no condoms. I’ve been all over the place with my pill the past few days, so they’re essential.”

  “You were … Oh. My. Gosh. You call me tomorrow. Shit, I can’t believe this. No, I totally can believe this. You call me. This is so cool. We can still stick to our pact and have babies at the same time.”

  “Um … I don’t really know about that, just yet.” I chuckle.

  “No not now, but soon. I’ll wait for you.” We both giggle and hang up. I know she’s not serious; we were eleven when we made that pact. And she’s already trying.

  I lie back with a grin that’s probably too large and without a doubt too smug.

  My wait isn’t long. When Joe returns, he sits at the edge of the bed, naked once again, putting on a condom. I admire the tattoo on his back. The nude, embracing couple in the forest tells me the same thing as always. Love, comfort and companionship – three things I want to give to Joe with my entire being, for as long as I exist. He waits while I trace the design with my finger tips, and then he turns to face me.

  I lie back and reach my arms out to him, welcoming him. I part my legs wider as he lowers down onto me. “I so badly need you inside me, Joe,” I whisper.

  “Just hearing you say that makes me want to come,” he says, looking into my eyes, guiding the tip of his dick to my eager entrance.

  “You’re in trouble tonight if you feel like that already,” I say, arching a single brow, telling him the very words he told me.

  “I was in trouble the moment you opened that damn door.”


  Together, we watch as he slowly enters me. Thrusts deliberate, our gazes remain focused down on our joining; his thick, veiny shaft pressing into me, filling me, and exiting wet with my arousal. “I may as well be losing my virginity again,” he says, his voice low. “It’s like going from years of fucking my fist to finally getting to feel the real tight, wet warmth of a woman, the unknown extremes of the pleasure that is sex. Nothing comes close to being inside you.”

  Nothing comes close to having him inside me. We were made for each other, in every way.

  I wrap my legs around his waist. Slipping his hands under my butt, Joe draws our pelvises together, grinding into me unrushed and with purpose. Almost immediately, the sensations start to build, waves of tingling heat gathering in my clit, and Joe looks at my face the whole time. I fight to keep my eyes open, to stay with him. I don’t want to close them and miss a second of the man I’ve been away from for too long. As I go over, our locked stares remain.

  I breathe his name as my orgasm passes.

  He starts to thrust quicker. Our faces now nose to nose, I run fingers into his hair, anchoring him there. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, the words coming straight from my heart. “I’m so sorry I left.”

  He stills. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

  “I love you, Joe. I can’t be without you.”

  “You don’t have to be. I love you, too. All that matters now is from here on.” He claims my mouth and starts moving again.

  I close my eyes and get lost in the feel of him, the smell of him, and the presence of him.

  Joe.

  Sixty Five: Joe

  We’re lying on our sides, facing-to-face, so close I can feel the heat radiating from Callie’s skin, without us even touching. I can see she’s thinking. As I intend on asking her what it is, she says, “Why does the thought of being away from you still hurt when you’re right here?” The helpless sound of her voice hit me harder than her words. The pain I caused her kills me, even now.

  I cup her face between my hands. “I am so sorry I hurt you.”

  “I never blamed you, Joe, not once. You don’t owe me an apology. I just know that I have to be with you. That’s why I came back.” Shit, she just said exactly what I wanted to hear. I wanted to be the reason for her being here.