by Casey Dawes
Before Lauren had died.
Hunter scowled, got back into the Jeep and drove to the fish house. On a late Saturday, even in January, the place was awash with humanity, each person jostling for a place in line.
Panic crept his skin. He scanned the room for exits and examined faces for threats. His breath became shallower and he remembered why he was here. He focused on the mounted fish on the walls, the dinner choices before him, and edged as close to the glass cases as possible.
Why did he ever think he could resume a normal life?
He got a tray of fish and chips and found a table near an exit. He forced himself to eat deliberately, fighting the urge to bolt his food and rush back to the safety of the Jeep. Good thing he no longer kept a gun in the glove box. Times like these made him unsure the struggle to live was worth it.
Practice, the shrink had told him. One day at a time — the mantra of all twelve-step groups.
Hunter wasn’t sure it was ever going to work.
If it didn’t, what would be become of him? Memories surfaced of his mentally ill grandfather reliving the Vietnam War on the streets of San Francisco.
Hunter shoved a fish stick in his mouth, chewed, and swallowed without tasting anything.
He forced his mind back to the present and the image of the innkeeper reappeared in his mind, making him smile. If the thought of her made him feel this good, what would a date feel like — or a kiss?
A bit of life stirred in his heart.
He shook his head. If she was smart she’d want nothing to do with a screwed-up, out-of-work, one-legged vet.
He stuck a French fry in his mouth, the greasy, salty potato soothing his mood. Taking a piece of paper from his pocket, he flattened it and clicked on a pen to write down his job qualifications.
The blank page mocked him.
He couldn’t put down a word. Everything he’d done in the war was classified. The past four years were a blank slate as far as prospective employers were concerned.
Chapter 2
“Hi Mom,” Sarah said as she pushed open the kitchen door of her mother’s home. Spicy aromas of oregano and garlic permeated the air and she breathed in deeply. Daisy trotted behind her, her nose reconnoitering the floor.
“I see you decided to keep it,” her mother said as she walked into the kitchen from the dining room. Elizabeth put her hands on her hips and studied Daisy.
Daisy sat, the picture of politeness. The only giveaway was the slight thump of her tail on the tile floor.
“Uh … yeah … do you mind? She’ll only be here for a few days, until I move to the inn.”
“Don’t rush things. You know you can stay here as long as you like.” Her mother’s arms wrapped around Sarah. “The dog, too. Did you name her?”
“Daisy.” Sarah shrugged off her mother’s arms with her coat.
The animal must have sensed her acceptance. She clicked across the floor to Elizabeth and nudged her palm with her snout.
Elizabeth automatically patted the dog, but Sarah could still feel her mother’s inspection. “Are you okay?” Elizabeth asked.
“Sure. It’s just been a long day — the closing, the dog, you know … ” She let her voice trail off as she hung her coat on the hook in the side room. “I brought stuff for Daisy.” She unloaded bright yellow dishes from a bag, opened the dog food, and poured it in the bowl. “There,” she said kneeling next to the dog and burying her face in Daisy’s warm fur. “Food. I hope you like it. Not as good as Mom’s ravioli, but … ” She shrugged her shoulders as she stood.
Daisy walked over to the bowl, sniffed, lay down, and began to eat.
Sarah stood up and twirled, just as she had when she’d come home from dance class years ago. “So do I look like the owner of a successful inn?”
Elizabeth laughed. “Of course you do!” She put her arms back around Sarah and planted a kiss on her head. “Set the table and I’ll serve dinner.”
Once grace had been said, Sarah asked about Elizabeth’s boyfriend. “So when is Marcos coming to California again?”
Her mother blushed. “In a few weeks.” She glanced toward the kitchen. Daisy sat expectantly in the archway. With an exasperated sigh Elizabeth said, “All right. You can come in.”
Daisy walked to Sarah and lay down at her feet.
“Marcos says he’s going to teach me to prune vines,” Elizabeth said and shook her head. “I can’t even imagine it.”
“Well,” Sarah said, “you knew when he bought a vineyard last year that he was going to get you involved. Pretend it’s gardening.” She grinned at her mother.
“Uh-huh. So how does the inn look? Will you have enough money to spruce it up? When do you plan on opening?”
“If I’m careful the money from Daddy’s trust fund should last. The kitchen needs work. I’m still not sure if I should hire a chef or do the work myself.” If Rick had been true to his word, she wouldn’t need to worry about a chef.
Her mother wrinkled her nose. “Given the way you make breakfast, I think you should find some help, or take a lot of lessons.”
Sarah stuck her tongue out at her mother. “I could hire you. These raviolis are amazing.”
“Not me. Remember I’m going to be pruning.”
“Oh, yeah.”
“So, when do you think you’ll be able to open?” Elizabeth asked again.
“I’d love to open for Valentine’s Day, but that’s not happening. The kitchen has to be brought up to code, even if all I’m serving is breakfast.” Among fifty million other things. “Maybe by April or May? The weekenders should start coming from the valley around then, shouldn’t they?”
“Yes, that’s when they start showing up at the day spa. What do you need to do at the inn other than the kitchen? Do you have a plan?”
Get the inn open before I give birth. Without answering her mother, Sarah took another cheese-filled pasta pocket and savored the tastes. Her mother really was a master chef. Probably why she’d never tried to compete. Elizabeth did everything so perfectly — perfect homemaker, mother, wife.
How could you have done what you did, Daddy?
Sarah put her hand on her tummy. Rick hadn’t turned out any better. At least her dad had stuck around when Elizabeth became pregnant.
She glanced at Elizabeth who appeared lost in thought, a bemused smile on her face that brought tears to Sarah’s eyes. It was good to see her mother in love. Although she’d never figured her mother would have taken up with a casual acquaintance from Italy, Marcos made Elizabeth happy.
“I haven’t got a real plan yet. Today was a bit crazy,” Sarah said. The pain she’d experienced earlier still concerned her. Was it anything to worry about or was it simply the stress of the day — the closing, the dog … and the man.
Damn. He’d been good looking. She pushed the thought from her mind and calculated how many weeks she had left in the first trimester. Women were supposed to get a surge of energy their second trimester. If she tapped into that energy, she’d have the inn open by spring. That would give her a few months before the baby’s birth to work out the kinks and find someone she trusted to help her the first few months after the baby was born.
Finding that person was going to be the most difficult task.
“When do you see the doctor again?” Her mother asked.
“Next week. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t see her until next month, but because of your history, she wants to see me a little more often in the beginning.”
“You can’t be too careful.” Elizabeth frowned. “I wish Rick — ”
“Stop, mother,” Sarah interrupted, a warning tone in her voice. “It’s over.”
How was she going to make it through eight more months of her mother’s anxiety and pressure?
“These ravioli are the best, Mom
. Sure I can’t talk you into creating a supply for the inn? Please?” Sarah turned on the wheedling voice she’d always used as a child when she really wanted something.
“I suppose I could be persuaded.” Elizabeth’s smile returned.
Good to know some things still worked.
• • •
Sarah got to the inn early the next morning. When she opened the door, Daisy trotted in and lay down in the front sitting room. Carting in her bag of supplies, Sarah closed the door behind her.
I’m going to have to get a dog bed, or at least a rug.
She tugged a yellow lined pad from the Grenaldi’s Market bag and wrote down “Rugs.” Then she started her walk around the rest of the inn. Daisy lunged to her feet and followed.
An hour later, she’d made it to the kitchen and her list was five pages long. How was she ever going to get this done by springtime? She glanced through the broad kitchen window to the garden beyond.
At least it appeared to be a garden. The realtor had told her there was a view of the ocean, but Sarah was skeptical.
When her mother and Marcos where done with the vineyard, they could start here.
Her shoulders went limp. This was insane. The only way the inn was going to work was if she found a magic wand or a winning lottery ticket. Waiting for a knight in shining armor wasn’t going to work.
Unless Hunter Evans came back. Her face heated. She had to stop thinking about the good-looking soldier. She was pregnant. About to be a mother. She had to be more … more … sedate.
Ugh.
Her cell phone rang and she pulled it out of her pocket to answer.
“Hi, it’s Mandy,” the caller cheerfully announced.
“Mandy?” The name seemed familiar, but Sarah couldn’t place it.
“I’m sorry!” Mandy laughed. “I know your mom and Annie. I work at the Costanoa Grill.”
Mandy came into memory. About four inches taller than Sarah, red-brown hair with a purple streak.
“What can I do for you?” Please don’t be trying to sell me anything.
“Your mom called me.”
Uh-oh.
“She said you could use some help in the kitchen. All my life that’s all I wanted to do … be a chef, that is. They won’t give me a chance here because they’ve got me pegged as a waitress and I thought since your mom said it was okay to call, I would. Sorry your boyfriend dumped you. Oh, shit. I wasn’t supposed to say that.”
Great. A babble-mouthed airhead in her kitchen. Not what she needed. She dug up her professional voice. “I’m sorry, Mandy, but I’m not ready to hire a chef. I’m sorry my mother jumped the gun. I’ll let her know when I’m ready and she can tell you. Have a — ”
“At least let me show you what I can do. I can stop by before work this afternoon and help you decide how to equip the kitchen. You need to know that now, don’t you? Besides, I’ve always wanted to see that house. I’ll see you around four, okay? Bye.”
The phone clicked off.
Sarah put the phone back in her pocket and rubbed her temples. Maybe she was being too hasty. She was going to need some help at some point.
Sighing, she slumped into a chair.
Surely, she could learn to accept another person into her life as long as she didn’t depend totally on them. People were never there when you really needed them. Her father and Rick had proved that.
She forced herself out of the chair and headed upstairs.
By four, Sarah’s body ached from cleaning the main upstairs bathroom. The notes of what she needed for an upgrade in that single bathroom had increased to a full page. Would she have to hire a plumber? Plumbers were expensive. Maybe she could trade to get what she needed — someone who needed a place to stay to help around the place. Someone like … Hunter.
Bad idea. I can be my own plumber!
Then an image of herself, eight months pregnant, crawling under the sink to fix a leak came into her mind and she cracked up. That’s probably a bad idea, too.
The doorbell rang and she trudged down the stairs, calling out, “Just a minute!”
Daisy sat in the entryway and watched carefully as Sarah opened the door.
Mandy stood there with a large grin on her face. “Thanks for seeing me today. You must be busy. Oh gosh, look at you.” She started laughing.
“What?” Sarah asked. Heat flushed her skin.
“Your face!” Mandy exclaimed between giggles. “Don’t you have a mirror?”
“Well, yes … but I haven’t used it lately.”
“Let me help.” Mandy took a tissue from her purse and reached up to Sarah’s face.
Sarah stepped back. “That’s okay. I’ll wash up in the kitchen. Want a cup of tea?” Much as she wanted to, it didn’t feel right to send Mandy away without at least letting her see the place. Sarah led the way to the kitchen.
“It’s wonderful! There’s so much you could do with this place! And what a beautiful dog!”
Daisy’s tail thumped on the floor.
Mandy opened and closed cupboards as Sarah washed her face in the kitchen sink. “I hope you don’t mind,” Mandy sang out. “I want to get a good idea of what you need. These cupboards could use a do-over.”
The grime came off in Sarah’s hands. So could I. Good thing Mandy was the only person who had shown up at her door. If Hunter had come back …
Her skin was hot under her fingertips.
“Now then.” Sarah dried her face with a kitchen towel. “Tea or coffee?”
“Oh, I can’t stay long. Got to be at work in … ” Mandy checked her watch. “Oh, gosh, thirty minutes. I’m always late. Not that I’d be late as your chef. It’s too important to me. Have you talked to the county yet about what’s required?”
“I started to see what it said online and got confused.”
Mandy nodded her head. “Yep. Bureaucrats never make anything simple, but I can help you with that.”
“I can’t afford to pay you.”
Mandy plunked into a chair. “You don’t need to pay me! All I want is a reference when I’m done. It’s learning for me, too. I got my degree at a community college in New Jersey. Regulations are totally different in California and I’ve got to learn them. Let me do this for you.”
“I shouldn’t — ”
“Good. That’s settled. I’ll talk to the manager at the grill, and the health inspector, and safety, and my friend I know at the county commissioner’s office, and — ”
Sarah laughed, her chest relaxing with the release of air.
“What? Are you saying I talk too much?” Mandy joined her in the laughter.
It’s good to have someone to laugh with.
“Are you going to do catering?” Mandy asked. “You know, special parties, weddings? This would be a great place for a wedding. I’ll have to tell Annie.”
“Oh, no — please don’t let Annie know there’s the possibility of events. I do not want to start with the wedding of my mother’s best friend.”
“A lot of pressure.”
“Yeah.”
“But you know your mother will mention it.”
“How about we keep this between us?” Sarah asked.
“Pinky promise?”
Sarah laughed again and crossed her pinkie finger with Mandy’s, her mood lifting even further.
Once she relaxed, the urge to lay her head on the table and sleep took over. Surely, it was nap time. She propped her head on her hands.
“You must be exhausted,” Mandy said. She put her hand on Sarah’s. “Something tells me you could use a friend about now. Well, so could I. I’ve never found any in Costanoa. No time, and I never felt I fit in — being from New Jersey and all.” Mandy sighed.
“Thanks,” Sarah said and realized she
really did appreciate the offer. Other than her mother, she didn’t have many girlfriends either. Most of her high school friends were off at college, while she … Tears started to fall. Damn. Pregnancy was playing hell with her emotions.
Mandy stood, crossed to Sarah and wrapped her arms around her. “It’s okay. You don’t have to do this alone.”
But Sarah did. As Rick had pointed out, she was responsible and she could take care of the baby by herself. Unless she wanted to abort it. Then he’d stick around.
Not going there.
Sarah stiffened her spine and patted Mandy’s hand. “I’m okay. Really. Thanks.”
Mandy let go. “Sure.”
Sarah swallowed hard. “What do you think I need? For the kitchen, I mean.”
“An industrial refrigerator, of course. Six-burner gas stove. Have you got a plumber?”
“Not yet.” She put her face back in her hands. It was all too much.
Mandy glanced at her watch. “Oh my god — now I’m really going to be late. I’ll call you after I talk to everyone. I can’t wait to get started!”
She gave Sarah a quick hug and darted from the kitchen.
Sarah stared at her list. If Hunter came back today and offered to buy the place, she’d definitely take him up on it. What had she been thinking?
She stood, took up her list, and went into the front room. If Mandy was going to handle the kitchen, she may as well work on the rest of the house.
Daisy followed and plopped in what was becoming her normal spot.
Sarah knelt beside the dog and buried her face in the fur. I wish I could go to sleep for hours and hours and forget all this.
And she did.
Chapter 3
After a discouraging day of job hunting, Hunter started his Thursday morning by pounding down the compacted beach sand of Rio del Mar. As he ran, he scanned the ocean cliffs for trouble. He ignored people’s curious stares at his prosthesis, but kept an eye out for any sudden moves.
Today’s run wasn’t the same as dashing down the beach as a kid, but he was thankful technology had gotten to a point where he could be almost good as new on the outside. Whenever he stopped by the Veteran’s Hall, the old, bearded Vietnam vets in wheelchairs saddened him. How might their lives have been different if they could have walked?