Turning to his computer monitor, Mike consulted Jen’s schedule, and added, “It looks like you have some free evenings between now and your next trip to Europe for the Italian Vogue photo shoot. Let’s try to arrange for you go out with him sometime before you fly to Europe.”
Jen grudgingly agreed, and as she got up to leave, said, “Just let me know when and where I have to show up for the ‘date’.”
Once back in her apartment, Jen picked up the turquoise silk yarn she had purchased on the way home from her meeting with Mike, and began to work on knitting a simple halter top that she could wear once the weather turned warmer. As she knit, she became acutely aware of the quiet in her apartment.
Feeling lonely, Jen picked up the phone, called her friend Catherine, a substitute teacher and plus-size model, and invited her over for dinner. I’ll pick Catherine’s brain tonight, she thought. She’ll know what to do about the Drew situation. And if she doesn’t have any ideas, she can always ask Luke, she thought, hoping that her best friend or her boyfriend would help her convince Drew to give a long-distance relationship a chance.
Catherine arrived a few hours later, just as Jen finished preparing dinner. “I don’t know about you, but after the holidays I’m definitely not runway-ready, so I hope fish and a salad is okay with you,” Jen said, as she placed the salad in the refrigerator and slipped the salmon into the oven. She retrieved two wine glasses from a cabinet while Catherine opened a bottle of pinot grigio and poured them each a glass.
“So…I have some news,” Catherine said, as she stuck her left hand out, revealing a sparkling diamond on her ring finger.
Jen squealed with joy as she hugged her friend. “You’re engaged! I’m so happy for you and Luke! When did he propose, and how did he do it? Tell me everything!”
Catherine took a deep breath, and explained that Luke had proposed over a quiet dinner the previous night. “It was so romantic,” Catherine said with a sigh. “Jen, I’d really love it if you would be one of my bridesmaids. If you hadn’t insisted I go with you to the basketball game that night, who knows what would have happened, or if we ever would have dated,” Catherine said, thinking back to the night two years earlier, when she and Jen went to cheer on Chris, Luke and Drew, who were the stars of their college basketball team. “So, will you be one of my bridesmaids?”
“Of course, Cath! I’d be honored to be a bridesmaid.”
As Jen tossed the salad, Catherine asked, “So, how is Drew’s father doing? Any idea when he will be coming back to New York?”
They sat down at the table, and Jen filled her in on all the details, including her last conversation with Drew when he urged her to get on with her life without him. “I don’t know what to do,” she confided. “We’ve tried and tried, but it never works out. Part of me wants to just jump on a plane to California and surprise him, and the other part of me thinks that if he really wanted me there, he would just say so.”
“He’s got a ton on his plate right now. He’s probably so overwhelmed with running his father’s business, and helping his mom take care of everything at home. Maybe you should just fly out there again and surprise him.”
“But what if he really doesn’t want to see me?”
“It’s a chance you have to take, Jen,” Catherine replied. “If he wants to see you, he’ll be happy. And if he doesn’t want to see you, then at least you’ll know where you stand, and you can get on with your life with a clear head.”
Jen pondered Catherine’s advice while aimlessly pushing the food around on her plate with her fork. “You’re probably right, it’s better to know one way or the other. I just don’t know if I can take it if he rejects me. I feel like I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster the last few months.”
“Then make it seem really casual, like you have to be out there anyway for some sort of business reason. I heard the Organic Beauty people are looking for a new “face”. Maybe you can have Mike arrange a meeting with them. They’re based in San Francisco, aren’t they?”
Catherine’s suggestion gave Jen a glimmer of hope. “Yes, they are. That’s a good idea, Cath. I’ll talk to Mike about it tomorrow.”
The following week, Jen stretched her legs as she settled into her first class window seat for her flight to San Francisco, thinking back to when she called Drew to tell him she would be in California on business.
At first, his reaction was frosty, but as they spoke, he seemed to warm to the idea. “I miss you so much, Jen,” he said. “I’m trying to remain strong for my family, but it hasn’t been easy. I just hope that I can spend some time away from the office to show you around the city a little bit, but I can’t make any promises.”
After her flight landed, Jen caught a cab and checked into her hotel. A hotel room will give us some privacy, she thought. I just want some time alone with him, so I can try to convince him to give us a chance.
Later that evening, Jen slipped into a silky caramel-colored wrap dress that showed just a hint of cleavage. As she tied the bow that held her dress in place, her pulse quickened as she remembered the last time she and Drew were together. I hope that Drew is the one who unties this bow tonight, she thought, as she checked herself one more time in the mirror before leaving her room.
Jen’s heart began to race and her stomach did flip flops as she exited the elevator when it reached the hotel lobby, where she found Drew waiting for her. Impulsively, she ran towards him, and he scooped her up into a tight embrace, smoothing her hair and kissing her on top of her head, before tilting her head up and kissing her lightly on the lips.
“I’ve missed you so much,” Drew said. “It’s so hard to believe that it’s been over a month since…” his voice trailed off.
Jen put her fingers over his lips to silence him, and then removed them in order to kiss him again. “Let’s catch up over dinner.”
Once they were seated in the restaurant and had placed their orders, Jen took a long look at Drew. I’ve never seen him with such dark circles under his eyes. He looks so drawn, so tired. “How is your dad doing?”
Drew shook his head, while replying, “His recuperation is taking longer than expected.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that, Drew. Please give him a hug for me.” She paused, before asking, “And how are you doing? I’m worried about you.”
He replied, “I’m exhausted. I’ve been working twelve hour days nearly every day, trying to hold everything together both at my dad’s firm, and at home. This is the first evening I’ve left the office before 8:00. It’s been rough, because I’m trying to develop some new areas of the business that can support both my parents, and me, in the future.
Jen felt her stomach churn and she began unconsciously wringing her hands. “What do you mean?”
“Well, the business has supported my father and my family for many years, but if it is going to support me and pay me a decent salary, I have to find ways to grow it.”
Drew began telling Jen about his podcasts and the radio show he was developing in the hopes of getting an opportunity to work again as a sports reporter, but Jen heard very little of what he had to say once it became clear that Drew was planning for a long-term future in California and not in New York. She snapped back to attention when she heard Drew ask, “so, Jen, what do you think?”
Jen bided her time while taking a sip of water. “It sounds like you’re really settling in here. You know that I want only the best for you,” she said, trying to force a smile, before continuing, “and I wish you all the luck in the world.”
“You didn’t answer the question, though. What do you think?”
“I think you know what I’m thinking.”
“You’re right. And, Jen, trust me, I wish I was going back to New York to be with you. But the situation here isn’t going to resolve itself anytime soon, and it looks like, for the foreseeable future, I’m going to be here, and you’re going t
o be there. It doesn’t make sense for you to wait around for me.”
“What are you saying?”
He took a deep breath, and searched for words. “Jen, you have no idea what I’m going through, how torn I am between my family and everything here, and you and everything back in New York. It’s literally making me sick.”
“Oh, Drew,” Jen said, reaching across the table to place her hand on top of his.
They silently held hands for a moment, before Drew cleared his throat and withdrew his hand from hers. “Jen, I will always have a deep emotional attachment to you. Hell, the truth is that I love you. You’re my best friend, and there’s no one I’d rather be with or spend my life with. But it isn’t fair to you, or to me, to keep hanging on to the hope of our developing a real relationship when we live on opposite coasts.”
Jen was stung by Drew’s words, and she hung her head, staring at her lap while nervously twisting her napkin. After composing herself, she half-whispered, “We had a real relationship, Drew. At least it was, and still is, to me.”
Drew’s face fell. “Aww, Jen, I’m sorry, that wasn’t the best choice of words. But I don’t want you to be hurt, and I don’t want to be hurt either. It’s more important to me to make sure we’re able to remain friends, and maybe one day we can rekindle our relationship, when we’re not living 3,000 miles away from each other. But we’ve tried, and it’s been impossible to see each other. Ultimately, one of us will end up hurting the other, and that will be the end of our friendship. And I couldn’t live with myself if that happened.”
“But we’re together now,” Jen said, her stomach churning.
Drew looked down at his lap and shook his head, before meeting Jen’s eyes. “And when will we see each other next?” When she just stared at him blankly, he continued, “You can’t answer that question any better than I can. I’m stuck here for the foreseeable future. That’s why I think we each need to move on, even if it means moving on with other people.”
The conversation momentarily stopped while their food was served. Despite being hungry when she ordered, Jen had lost her appetite and, instead of eating, she just played with the food on her plate.
Silence had awkwardly descended on their table, until Drew asked, “How are Catherine and Luke’s wedding plans coming along?”
“It looks like they’re all set for the first Saturday in May.” Jen filled him in on what she knew, desperate to try to salvage the evening.
After they finished eating, Drew paid the bill, and escorted Jen to the door of her room. As she slipped the key card into the slot, she asked, “Would you like to come inside?”
Drew exhaled, and shook his head, replying, “I don’t think I should.”
“But I don’t want to say goodbye to you in a hotel hallway,” she half-whispered, while looking down at her feet.
Finally, Drew relented, and followed Jen into her room, trying to keep his distance as she placed her handbag on top of the dresser. He caught her reflection in the mirror, and thought, I love you, Jen. How can I leave you? I’ll never love anyone the way I love you.
Unable to resist the magnetic pull of her body, he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her on top of her head as he pulled her close, breathing in her sweet vanilla-sugar scent.
Jen gasped as she looked at their reflection in the mirror, and locked eyes with Drew. She felt him take a deep breath before pulling her in even closer, so close that she could feel his arousal through his suit pants. As Drew ran his hands over her body, massaging Jen’s breasts, she purred with pleasure.
Overwhelmed with desire, Jen whispered, “Oh, Drew,” as she turned around and pressed her lips into his, their tongues exploring each other’s mouths.
As their kisses grew more passionate, Drew’s hands hungrily roamed Jen’s body, his passion for her growing more desperate with each passing moment. “My God, Jen, it’s been so long, and I’ve missed you so much,” he said. Electricity shot through his veins and, as the last of his self-control was stripped away, he guided her towards the bed and climbed on top of her.
“I’ve missed you too. Please, I need you,” she said, as she quickly unbuttoned his shirt, before reaching for the waist of his pants. Just as she began to loosen his belt buckle, Drew’s cell phone rang.
“I’ve got to take this call,” he said, before answering the phone. “Hey, mom, what’s going on?” A moment later, he abruptly sat up and said, “Calm down. I’ll meet you at the hospital.” Turning to Jen, he said, “I’ve got to go. My father is having trouble breathing, and he’s being rushed back to the hospital.” Jumping to his feet, he quickly rearranged his clothing. “I can’t believe this is happening again.”
“I’ll go with you.”
“Okay,” he said, grabbing Jen’s hand. “Let’s go.”
Later that night, Drew walked Jen to the hospital entrance, and put her in a cab. “I’ll stay with you if you want me to,” Jen said. “I want to be here for you.”
“But you have an important meeting tomorrow, and you need your sleep. It’s 2:00 in the morning, New York time. I’ll try to call you tomorrow.”
“I hate saying goodbye this way,” Jen said, searching Drew’s eyes.
“Me too.” He was silent for a moment, shaking his head while running a hand through his hair. “Now you can see what I’m up against, and why I keep telling you that our being together right now isn’t going to work. I love you so much, but I have to take care of my family. So…as much as I love you, you have to get on with your life without me. And we have to say goodbye.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
The following afternoon, Jen waited to board a flight back to New York, a day earlier than planned. I can’t see any reason to stick around San Francisco, she thought, after Drew made it clear to her that, although he loved her, they would only ever be friends as long as his family obligations kept him in California. At least the trip wasn’t a total loss, she thought, reflecting on her meeting with the Organic Beauty people earlier that morning, certain she would be offered a lucrative contract.
Just as the flight began boarding, Jen’s cell phone rang, and her heart skipped a beat. I hope it’s Drew calling to say he changed his mind and wants me to stay. She looked at the display on her phone, and her hopes were dashed when she saw it was Mike, her agent.
“I have good news,” he said. “The Organic Beauty people liked you, and want you to be their new ‘face’”.
“Okay, good.”
“You don’t sound too enthusiastic. What’s wrong?”
“It didn’t go well with Drew. He told me to get on with my life,” she replied.
“Oh, no. I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Me too. Listen, I’ve got to go,” Jen said, trying to choke back tears.
“Wait, Jen, before you hang up, I have a question. You haven’t made any plans for Thursday night, have you?”
“Not yet,” Jen replied. “Why?”
“Good, because you’re going out to dinner with Vince Moscolo,” Mike replied.
When Jen didn’t answer him, Mike asked, “Jen? Jen? Are you there?”
“Yes, sorry, they’re starting to board my flight. Text or e-mail me the details, and I’ll be there,” she promised.
After ending the call with Mike, Jen walked down the jet way and boarded the plane. Settling into her window seat, she removed her current knitting project, an amethyst-colored merino wool and silk lace shawl, from her tote bag, and placed it on the console between her seat and the aisle seat, before snapping her seatbelt in place.
As the plane taxied down the runway and took off, Jen stared out the window, wondering when she would see Drew again. I love him so much, she thought. And I know he loves me too.
Jen sighed as she watched San Francisco disappear in the distance. Remembering the way Drew’s strong hands explored her body the previous
night, she felt simultaneously turned on and frustrated. I know he has a lot on his plate, but I don’t understand how he can simply give up on us being together, she thought, as she recalled the passionate kisses they shared less than 24 hours earlier. But, then again, I can’t fault him for being loyal to his family. He’s such a good man, and a good son. I’d like to think I’d do the same thing for my family, if I was in his position.
Jen’s daydreams about Drew were interrupted when the flight attendant offered her a beverage, and she ordered a glass of pinot grigio. After taking a deep sip of the wine, she slipped her headphones over her ears and selected some soothing spa music, trying to relax and put Drew out of her mind.
Anything But Mine Page 5