USSR
(and its Tower to the People)
USEFUL FOR: mocking Josef Stalin, mainly
KEYWORDS: Stalin, Russia, really big swimming pools
THE FACT: In 1931, Joseph Stalin ordered that the largest Orthodox Christian cathedral in the world be dynamited so he could build an enormous “Palace of the People.” The dynamiting was the easy part.
Wishing to replace the 355-foot-high church—the product of 44 years of backbreaking labor by Russian peasants—with a new structure taller than the Empire State Building, and capped with a gilded statue of Lenin taller than the Statue of Liberty, the “Man of Steel’s” mad scheme never came to fruition. The construction on the tower, meant to celebrate Communism’s strength, never took place because resources were diverted to fighting World War II. Stalin’s successor—Nikita Khrushchev—ordered a large swimming pool built where the cathedral had stood. Old women who remembered the original cathedral could be seen standing at the edge of the swimming pool, praying to forgotten icons. Recently, Yuri Luzhkov, Moscow’s autocratic mayor, tried to make up for Stalin’s mess by ordering the construction of a tacky reproduction of the original cathedral using precast concrete.
VACUUM CLEANERS
USEFUL FOR: impressing inventors and diverting the conversation when you’ve been told to clean the carpets
KEYWORDS: chores, chump, or challenge
THE FACT: Forget Hoover. The real guy you should be thanking for the vacuum cleaner is a genius named Hubert Booth.
Hubert Cecil Booth was an Englishman who was always up for a challenge. In 1900, Booth saw a prototype of a dust-removing machine at London’s Empire Music Hall and suspected that he could improve on the idea. That wasn’t terribly surprising, considering that the machine was designed to force a blast of compressed air down, causing the dust to rise, which might have removed dust from one particular spot on the floor, but not necessarily the room. Predictably, this was somewhat inefficient. When Booth asked the machine’s inventor why it just didn’t suck up the dirt, the man became furious and told him that a machine like that just couldn’t be built. Challenge on! Booth started with a few suction experiments, and one short year later he patented the world’s first mechanical vacuum.
VACUUMS
(you could never afford)
USEFUL FOR: cocktail parties and small talk while ring shopping
KEYWORDS: vacuum cleaner, Hoover, or Dust Buster
THE FACT: What’s the most expensive material, per pound, in common use by physicists. Diamonds? Not even close.
Gem-quality diamonds cost only about $15 million per pound. It’s been estimated that Saddam Hussein was willing to spend $100 million per pound for weapons-grade uranium. But that isn’t it, either. Moon dust? Nope. Russian-retrieved moon dust (they had a robot return some) has been sold on the black market for less than $5 million per pound. Believe it or not, the most expensive substance per pound is an ultrahigh vacuum. Although it’s abundant in space, nobody has figured out a good way to bring them down to earth. The cost of making one is $4 followed by 21 zeros, so nothing else even comes close. And the price will only get more expensive, per gram, as the vacuums get better!
VAN HALEN
(and the whole M&M thing)
USEFUL FOR: cocktail parties and chatting up rock and roll fans and entertainment lawyers
KEYWORDS: prima donnas, egotistical contract agreements, or candy-coated shells
THE FACT: Over the years, Van Halen’s gained a lot of notoriety for their demand that at every gig their dressing room had to contain a large bowl of M&Ms with all the brown ones removed. It was for a better reason than you think, though.
While the fact has often been cited as proof of the band members’ towering egos, it was actually included by the tour promoters as an easy way of seeing if the concert venues had read the contract thoroughly (particularly the parts about technical requirements, etc.). But sneaky M&M tactics aside, Van Halen’s riders are also notorious for the sheer volume of alcohol they stipulate. One rider specified that their dressing room was to contain a case of beer, a pint of Jack Daniels, a pint of Absolut, a 750 ml. bottle of Bacardi Añejo rum, three bottles of wine, small bottles of Cointreau and Grand Marnier, and a 750 ml. bottle of one of five specific premium tequilas. Don’t forget six limes, margarita salt, shot glasses, ingredients for Bloody Marys, and a blender.
VELCRO
USEFUL FOR: impressing preschool teachers, scientists, or any six-year-old with shoes
KEYWORDS: natural inventions, inspiration, or cockleburs
THE FACT: The idea for Velcro, one of the greatest inventions in the world (at least for anyone whose ever struggled with tying their laces), started as a thorn in someone’s side, literally!
Isaac Newton beneath the apple tree. Archimedes shouting “Eureka!” in the bathtub. And Georges de Mestral going for a walk in the woods. The greatest discoveries often stem from mundane observations, and while gravity (Newton) and measurable density (Archimedes) are cool and everything, nothing beats the sweet music of parting Velcro. Mestral, a Swiss engineer, returned home after a walk in 1948 to find cockleburs stuck to his coat. After examining one under a microscope, he noted that cockleburs attach to clothes and fur via thin hooks. Eureka! It took de Mestral eight years to develop his product. But in the end, the twin nylon strips worked precisely like a cocklebur on a coat—one strip features burlike hooks and the other thousands of small loops to which they attach, forming an unusually sticky bond.
VELVET REVOLUTION
(Czechoslovakia’s Quiet Riot)
USEFUL FOR: impressing your history teacher, chatting up rebels or revolutionaries, and instigating shy rabble-rousers the world over
KEYWORDS: velvet, silky smooth, and revolution
THE FACT: Few people believe that the pen is mightier than the sword. Václav Havel and his bloodless revolution might be the best argument for it.
This brave poet and playwright was jailed repeatedly in the 1970s for writing works critical of the communist government in then-Czechoslovakia. With civil unrest rising, he was jailed in February 1989, but kept turning out influential plays, poems, and essays, and even winning literary awards. Set free in May, he helped stoke a peaceful resistance movement known as “the Velvet Revolution.” Havel became the focal point of a largely peaceful revolution, where large crowds of nonviolent demonstrators showed their disapproval of the ruling communists. Havel addressed crowds that sometimes numbered almost a million. By the end of the year, the communist government was out and Havel had been elected president. He served as president of Czechoslovakia—and later, when the country split in two, of the Czech Republic—for 13 years, retiring in 2003. The tally? Poetry 1, communism 0!
VODKA
(as in chugging way too much of it)
USEFUL FOR: barroom banter, killing other people’s buzzes, and chatting up teetotalers
KEYWORDS: I am soooo drunk right now
THE FACT: Sure, there are beer-drinking contests, so why not vodka-drinking contests? Well, here’s why.
In 2003 a bar in the southern Russian town of Volgodonsk decided to hold just such a competition. After all, Russians are famous for their ability to hold their vodka, and annual consumption is over 15 liters per person. The winner would get…well, more vodka. Ten liters of it, to be exact. Sadly, the winner never got to claim his prize. After downing 1.5 liters of vodka in under 40 minutes (which is about 51 shots) the vodka champ passed away, about 20 minutes later. What about the runners-up? The five other contestants got treated to full luxury stays in intensive care. Scarily enough, many of the ones who weren’t hospitalized actually showed up at the same bar the next night.
W. C. FIELDS
USEFUL FOR: cocktail parties, barroom banter, and anywhere that liquor and film buffs pleasantly mix
KEYWORDS: W. C. Fields, chickadee, or I’ll drink to that
THE FACT: Of all the alcoholic comedians, the bulbous-nosed W. C. Fields (né William Claude
Dukenfield) was by far the least embarrassed by his indulgence.
Fields started his career as a juggler, but found fame with his impeccable wit and comic timing, first on Broadway and then in the movies. Although also noted for his dislike of children (“Any man who hates children and dogs can’t be all bad”) and his ostentatious immorality (he claimed to religiously study the Bible—in search of loopholes), Fields is probably best known for his drinking. At his peak, Fields downed two quarts of gin daily. “I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy,” he once remarked. Fields died on his least favorite of days—Christmas—in 1946.
instant personalities
V is for VOLKSWAGEN: Before the first The Love Bug film, Disney had a casting call that included Volvos, Toyotas, and about a dozen or so friendly-looking cars. When the staff inspected them, they’d kick tires, grab steering wheels, and roughhouse each one a bit. But when they came to the Beetle, they just began to pet it! The smug car landed the part immediately.
Is MICKEY MOUSE married to Minnie? Walt Disney was always coy on the issue. In 1933, he insisted that, in private life, Mickey is married to Minnie, although on-screen, her role is leading lady. Two years later, he proclaimed there is no marriage in the land of make-believe.
CHARLIE CHAPLIN once entered a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest in a theater in San Francisco, and lost.
WAR
(on drugs)
USEFUL FOR: cocktail parties and impressing your history teacher (as well as the kids who never attended his class)
KEYWORDS: Nazis, cocaine, chewing gum with a kick
THE FACT: As strange as it sounds, during World War II Nazi Germany definitely led the pack in its use of amphetamines, cocaine, and other “performance-enhancing” drugs.
In fact, amphetamine pills were included in every German soldier’s first-aid kit, and Nazi researchers developed chewing gum that delivered a dose of cocaine with each piece. But that wasn’t all! According to a book by German author and criminologist Wolf Kemper on the subject, Nazis on Speed, one of the compounds tested by the Nazis in 1944, D-IX, was actually a cocaine-based compound that included both amphetamine and a morphine-related chemical to dull pain. The experimental drug was tested on prisoners of war, and Nazi doctors found the test subjects could march 55 miles without a rest before they collapsed. The Nazis hoped that the drug could put some fighting spirit into their armies, which were by that time being defeated on all fronts, but luckily the war ended before production could begin.
WEBSTER
(the one behind the dictionary)
USEFUL FOR: chatting up librarians and copy editors, and making friends at the spelling bee
KEYWORDS: Webster, dictionary, spell-checker
THE FACT: Noah Webster was never fondly referred to as “The Godfather of Spelling,” but he did offer Americans a spelling (and pronunciation!) resource they couldn’t refuse.
A schoolteacher, Webster started out writing spelling books, which soon blossomed into an obsession with standardizing American spelling and pronunciation and distinguishing it from the British. During the 20 years it took him to compile the 70,000-word American Dictionary of the English Language, published in 1828, Webster was strongarming prefixes and suffixes in a constant attempt to break words to his own will. He forced musick to music, carefully urged (for its own good) centre to center, and—although there were no witnesses to it—changed plough to plow and colour to color. Unfortunately, he was so busy instilling order and structure to the language that he never got around to changing words like bureaucracy to something a little more phonetically friendly.
WEDDING TRADITIONS
(and why you can’t see your bride)
USEFUL FOR: bridal showers, blind dates, and wedding receptions
KEYWORDS: here comes the bride
THE FACT: It’s a common American tradition: Keep the glowing bride in hiding on the morning of her wedding so that the groom can be all the more awestruck by the sight of his woman in white. Sounds sweet, but its origins aren’t quite so tender.
For hundreds of years, fathers arranged the marriages of their daughters by offering money to young men. However, if Daddy’s Little Girl wasn’t exactly fit for the cover of Maxim, Daddy might decide to search for prospective grooms in nearby towns, for obvious reasons. When these men showed up on their wedding day—not having seen their future bride before—it was common for some of them to flee the scene. So the tradition that it’s “bad luck” for a man to see his bride before the ceremony really started out as just insurance for her dad.
WEREWOLF SYNDROME
USEFUL FOR: barroom banter, Halloween chatter, and making small talk with the person waxing your back
KEYWORDS: hairy, hairball, or Henderson
THE FACT: Forget your cousin Sal and his hirsute offspring, the Ramos Gomez clan of Mexico currently holds the Guinness record for world’s hairiest family.
Five generations of this family’s members suffer from hypertrichosis, or “werewolf syndrome,” which causes thick hair to grow over the entire body (98 percent of it, to be exact), including the face, ears, and neck. Brothers Larry and Danny Ramos Gomez are the most well known of the family, as they travel the world performing their duties as professional trampoline acrobats—an occupation no doubt made appealing by the fact that it’s actually weirder than having hair all over your face. But Larry and Danny wanted a profession that wasn’t contingent on their appearance. In the 1990s, producers at the The X-Files offered them guest-starring roles, but they declined.
WHITE-FRONTED PARROTS
USEFUL FOR: cocktail parties, nerdy dates, and proving that Polly doesn’t want a chauvinist
KEYWORDS: birds, chicks, or sensitive males
THE FACT: White-fronted parrots are something of an anomaly in the animal kingdom. For one thing, they may be the only species (besides humans) to engage in what is essentially the act of “kissing”!
Before mating, the male and female birds will lock beaks and gently flick their tongues together. If that goes well, the males will make the bold move for “second base,” which involves regurgitating food for his mate in a generous show of affection. How sweet! Native to Mexico and Central America, white-fronted parrots were also totally ahead of us with the whole “two-income marriage” deal. Along with various species of the albatross, penguin, ostrich, and other large birds, white-fronted parrots generally lay a solitary egg, with both the male and the female taking turns incubating it. Once the chick hatches, both parents feed and otherwise care for the young bird.
WOODCHUCKS
(and how much wood they chuck)
USEFUL FOR: impressing biology teachers, nerdy dates, and tongue-twisted third-graders
KEYWORDS: Woodchuck cider, Groundhog Day, or beavers
THE FACT: So how much wood would a woodchuck chuck? Probably none.
Woodchucks aren’t particularly tree-oriented, and while they can climb to find food, they prefer being on the ground. In fact, they actually got the name “woodchuck” from British trappers who couldn’t quite wrap their tongues around the Cree Indian name, “wuchak.” More commonly (and accurately) known as groundhogs, these animals are closely related to squirrels, marmots, and prairie dogs, with whom they share an affinity for burrowing. And while they aren’t so prone to chucking wood, a burrowing woodchuck can chuck dirt, in the form of tunnels that can reach five feet deep and as much as 35 feet in length. Based on that number, New York State wildlife expert Richard Thomas calculates that, if a woodchuck could chuck wood, it could chuck as much as 700 pounds of the stuff.
WORK
(you probably don’t want)
USEFUL FOR: seafood buffets, barroom banter, and realizing how much better your job is than you know
KEYWORDS: Alaska, fishermen, or king crab special
THE FACT: Annoying bosses, bad benefits, and even preretirement pink slips can’t make a job more hellish than that of Alaskan king crab fishermen.
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br /> Because most crab are harvested during the winter months in Alaska, conditions are particularly brutal, with strong winds, short daylight hours, and high seas. Every year, 34 fishing vessels and 24 lives are lost in the water around Alaska—an occupational fatality rate 20 times the national average. Most deaths result from hypothermia, capsizing, or falling overboard. The risks are exacerbated by exhaustion, because the fishermen often work 20-hour shifts pulling 450-pound crab cages across the slippery deck. But the hard work pays off—if you survive. Alaskan king crab fishermen work for shares of their vessel, with some boats bringing in $200,000 a day, and deckhands taking home up to $100,000 in a four-month season.
Mental Floss: Instant Knowledge Page 14