by Julie Howlin
‘I hope so,’ said Jamie. ‘I really hope so. Anyway, I was at a bit of a loss as to what to do on the day I should have been getting married; I wanted to get away from all the angry phone calls I was getting from Alison’s family, so I went in to work. One of the secretaries gave me this garbled message about someone being in danger at a psychic fair in Dorking. Then your fax arrived. I got a squad car around there immediately. Not a moment too soon, as it turned out.’
I had made my own miracle.
**
Sometimes strangulation can do all sorts of nasty internal damage that isn’t obvious right away, so they kept me in hospital for three more days, watching me and doing all sorts of tests to find out if I’d suffered any brain damage. Asking me all sorts of dumb questions, like who is the Prime Minister, and what year is it? Getting me to do pointless tasks, scanning my brain. I was telling Jess about it when Jamie next came to see me. He apologised for interrupting, but I told him he was welcome to stay.
‘They gave Tabs a brain scan this morning,’ Jess said. ‘They didn’t find anything.’ I poked my tongue out at her. ‘I think she’s feeling better,’ Jess added, winking at Jamie.
‘So, Inspector Swan, what can I do for you today?’ I asked.
‘Nothing, actually. And now many times do I have to tell you my name is Jamie? Especially when I’m off duty and dropped by to give you these.’ He produced a bunch of flowers from behind his back. Jess flashed me a knowing look.
‘Thank you, Jamie,’ I said. ‘Actually, I’m feeling much better. They said I can go home tomorrow. I can’t wait.’
‘Who’s looking after your cat?’ Jamie asked.
‘I am,’ said Jess. ‘She’s so adorable, I almost wish Tabs had been killed so I could keep her.’
‘Gee, thanks. You can have her when I go on holiday, how about that?’
‘Guess that will have to do.’ Jess smiled.
Jamie sat down and the three of us talked; about TV programmes I'd missed, what was going on in the world. Despite being in hospital, I was rather enjoying myself, until Jamie’s pager went off. ‘I thought you were off duty,’ I said.
‘Off duty, but on call. Looks like I’ve got work to do. I’ll call you tomorrow, Tabs - I'll need to officially ask you if you’d be prepared to identify this guy for us in an ID parade. I know it might be traumatic for you, so it's not compulsory, but if you think you can it would be valuable evidence. Think about it. And if you don't think you can handle it, don't be afraid to tell me, OK?’
I nodded.
‘Speak to you soon,’ he said. I watched him walk off down the corridor.
‘So that’s him, huh?’ Jess said. ‘The long arm of the law. Shame some other bitch got her claws into him first, eh?’
‘He called the wedding off.’
‘Really? Well, you know what you need to do now. When you’ve done the ID parade, jump him.’
‘Jess,’ I laughed. ‘He’s a good friend, and I’ve made a twit of myself in front of Jamie Swan far too many times already. I’m not doing it again.’
‘Suit yourself, Tabs, but beware. If you don’t make a play for him, I just might.’
‘He’s not your type and you know it,’ I shot back, with an odd feeling of fear that she might have meant it. I should have been delighted at the thought of him and Jess, two of my best friends, getting together, but part of me wanted to prevent it at all costs. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind. Perhaps my brain was addled, after all.
47 all’s well
I got through identifying Montague in the line-up. It’s not as if he could see me, after all. Jamie was obviously used to people freaking out on these occasions, because he treated me with kid gloves, asking over and over if I was sure I wanted to do this. You can bet I did. Anything that would help convict him.
Giving evidence at the Old Bailey was the most nerve-wracking thing I have ever done. I could feel Robin Montague’s eyes boring into me, but I found Jamie’s eyes across the court room and he gave me strength.
I could see Jess in the Public Gallery - she’d come to support me, too. Next to her I could see Mark Rees - they'd re-examined his case in the light of the new evidence - the DNA they found on Clare proved to be Montague's. Mark still missed Clare, but when he came out of prison I’d called him and told him I had seen Clare. I gave him her message about getting on with his life and dating again.
Montague got life. As the sentence was read out, I glanced up at Mark in the public gallery. I saw him lean towards Jess and whisper something in her ear, and she turned to him and smiled. The look in her eyes told me that helping Mark Rees prove his innocence was going to have much more far-reaching implications for my social circle than I could have imagined.
I looked at Jamie. He broke into a broad grin and winked at me. I remembered Jonathan’s throwaway quip many months ago about ‘Swan and Drake on the Case’. His words had proved to be prophetic.
They took Montague down. Jamie was waiting for me outside the court. ‘We got him,’ Jamie grinned. ‘Our first case together. Not the last, I hope?’
‘I guess that's up to the dead people,’ I said. ‘But I hope not.’ I meant it.
‘I'm done for the day,’ he said. ‘Can I drop you home?’
‘Only if you let me make you a coffee this time.’
‘Deal.’
**
We sat on my sofa in a companionable silence, sipping our coffee.
‘Can I ask you something?’ he asked.
‘Sure.’
‘When I found you in Montague’s house, you weren’t breathing, and you had no pulse,’ he said. ‘The paramedics said you were technically dead for a few seconds. You read about these things, don’t you, about people who die and... well, I was wondering if you... went anywhere?’
‘Did I have a near death experience, you mean?’
‘Yes. That’s exactly what I mean. Did you? Is there anything over there?’
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘A beautiful garden. My gran was there.’
‘Maggie? What did she say?’
‘That it wasn't my time and I had to come back. That she wasn’t angry about me not being there when she died. I wanted to stay, Jamie, it was so wonderful there, and so hard to leave.’
‘So what made you decide to come back?’
‘Gran said I still had work to do in this life. My little sister is psychic. I think her gift is even stronger than mine, but I have to teach her all I know. If I do, she'll help a lot of people.’
‘And if you hadn’t come back?’
‘She’d lose her gift, because she’d be surrounded by total sceptics, and none of it would happen. So I had to return, for Amber.’
‘Is that all?’
‘Well. I asked Gran if I’d ever be lucky in love. I’m sure even you’ve noticed I have a talent for picking guys who are not the least bit good for me.’
‘I had noticed. So - what did Maggie say?’
‘That there was someone for me. I asked what would happen to him if I didn’t come back; whether he’d find someone else or have to be alone for the rest of his life. She said she didn’t know. Whoever he is, I didn’t want to condemn him to always being alone.’
‘Do you know who he is?’ Jamie asked. ‘Did she tell you that?’
‘No. I asked her where I would find him, but she wouldn't say.’
‘And?’
‘Oh, I think she knew exactly who he is, but all she would tell me was that I’d know once I stopped trying too hard and searching the world over.’
‘And realised what’s been right under your nose all along.’
‘Why, yes - that’s pretty much exactly what she said.’
‘And have you figured it out yet? What’s right under your nose?’
‘All that’s under my nose right now is a cup of coffee.’
‘I think I’m beginning to understand why she was so exasperated with you sometimes.’
‘What do you mean?’ I asked.
&
nbsp; Jamie reached over and gently took the coffee cup out of my hands and set it down on the table. ‘And what’s under your nose now?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Looks like I’m going to have to spell this out in simple language.’
‘What?’ Jamie Swan took both my hands in his, and looked into my eyes.
‘I love you, Tabitha Drake. I’ve been crazy about you ever since we started working together. I watched you with those other guys, hoping that one day you’d be free and I could ask you out myself. I nearly did, once. The night you read for the Harmans. But then Jonathan showed up and staked his claim before I could put my foot in it. I started seeing Alison instead, and convinced myself I loved her, but I was kidding myself. Luckily I realised before I actually married her that I really wanted you.’
‘Jamie, I had no idea, I...’
He leaned forward and kissed me, oh, so gently, so softly. Our lips were no longer touching, but hovered so close that I could almost feel an electric current passing between us. I kissed him back, lightly, gently, the same way he’d kissed me. This time, it didn’t stop. I felt I was being pulled deeper into him by some exotic gravitational force. I reached up and grabbed a fistful of his hair and kissed him harder. I felt his arms slide around me, drawing me closer still, until I could see, feel, smell and taste nothing but Jamie Swan. And I didn’t want anything else. Ever.
He stopped, abruptly, and pulled away. A little moan of disappointment slipped from my throat. ‘Don’t stop, Jamie,’ I whispered, leaning towards him to find his mouth with mine again.
‘Look at me.’ He put his fingers under my chin and tilted my face up to his. I opened my eyes and looked at him. His green eyes seemed to be almost glowing. He looked slightly flushed. ‘Tabitha, if I don’t stop now, I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop myself from tearing all your clothes off and making mad passionate love to you right here. Before I do that, I want to be absolutely sure you want that too. What do you say?’
There was only one thing I could say. ‘I want you, too, Jamie. I want you now.’
He kissed me again, and this time there was no holding back. I felt I was melting into him and that it was no longer clear where Tabitha Drake ended and Jamie Swan began. Lips, tongues, hands, fingers - all intermingled.
‘Though I think we should continue this conversation in the bedroom,’ I said, coming up for air. I stood up and took both his hands. I kicked the bedroom door shut behind me, and fell on him, pinning him against the wall, wrapping one of my legs around him. We were frantically fumbling with each other’s clothing, desperately wanting to divest ourselves of anything that came between us. Then, without letting him go, or even taking my lips from his, I took a couple of steps back and pulled him down onto my bed on top of me.
I know I’ve said before that making love with my past boyfriends was the best ever, but with Jamie that day it was phenomenal. Perhaps it was because I trusted him completely, was not worrying about whether he’d respect me in the morning, whether I was satisfying him. I just gave in completely to the moment. I’ve had toe curlers before, but never a wave of ecstasy that started at my toes and travelled up my body like a tsunami. This was truly something different.
We lay there together for a long time, neither of us saying anything. He stroked my hair as I rested my head on his chest, listening to his strong heartbeat which I knew had brought me back from the dead. His caresses grew slower and stopped, his breathing slowed and deepened. I had never felt as safe and as loved as I did just then. I listened to his heart, knowing nobody was going to take me away from it this time. Just before I drifted off to sleep myself, I saw my grandmother, just for an instant, standing in the doorway, giving me a thumbs up before she disappeared.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
In case anyone is wondering, this book is not autobiographical and Tabitha Drake is not me. I’m probably old enough to be her mother, cannot see dead people and don’t have any sisters. All the characters are fictitious and any resemblance to real people, living or dead is purely coincidental.
I have a degree in psychology and have done courses in spiritual counseling, the Aura Soma colour system, Reiki, Soul Collage, Indian Head Massage and life coaching.
I live in North Somerset.
Apart from writing, I enjoy drawing, scrapbooking, walking, reading, entering competitions, travel and regular exercise (skiing once a year).
There is at least one more Tabitha book in the offing – Glastonbury Swan:
Every few weeks, there is a mysterious death in Glastonbury. They seem completely unrelated - an apparent suicide, a hit and run, a drug overdose, a magic act which goes horribly wrong... but is that what the killer wants people to think? The police are certainly convinced - but some of the spirits are communicating to medium Tabitha Drake that the deaths are linked. Who is killing all these people and why? This is what Tabitha has to figure out - before it is too late to save someone very dear to her.
…and some non-Tabitha related projects as well. Watch this space.
Follow me on Twitter: @JulieHowlin, or Like my
Facebook page, Julie S Howlin (author).