by Stone, Anna
“You’re feeling really good right now, aren’t you? Light. High.”
Faith nodded.
“Eventually, you’re going to come down from that high. Aftercare is a dominant’s way of catching you when you do. It’s me keeping all the good feelings flowing so you don’t crash.” Eve gestured toward the ropes still dangling from the headboard. “All this can be intense. Overwhelming. It can leave a person feeling vulnerable and raw, mentally and emotionally.”
“I don’t feel like that.”
“Maybe not right now. But you still need this.” Eve took a bite of pie and placed her bowl on the nightstand next to her. “Besides, this is as much for me as it is for you. I’ll let you in on a little secret. It’s not just the submissive that surrenders to her dominant. A Domme must surrender to her true desires, the kind that society considers perverse and twisted. She must trust her submissive to accept that dark side of her. It’s a vulnerable state to be in.”
“I never thought about it that way,” Faith said. “This is all so much more complicated than I thought.” She looked at Eve. “How did you get into this? Being a Domme, I mean?”
“Do you want the short answer or the long answer?”
“The long one.” This was a big part of who Eve was. Faith wanted to know why.
Eve reached toward the foot of the bed and picked up the rope she’d used to bind Faith’s ankles. “There was more to my marriage and divorce than I told you. More to what happened between me and Harrison and the rest of his family.” She drew the rope through her hands, straightening out the kinks, then began tying it in a knot. “His parents, they were constantly trying to control our lives. Pressuring me to have children, to quit my job. At first, Harrison would stand up to them, but over time, he began to side with them. And when I became pregnant with the twins, it all became so much worse. ”
Eve finished her knot, then started on another one. “I ended up in the hospital because of complications from the pregnancy. I was drained of all my strength—physically, mentally, emotionally. I wasn’t myself. And when I almost lost the twins, I was so afraid. I was vulnerable and weak, and Harrison, he took advantage of that to convince me to finally quit my job. He told me that I had to do what was best for the twins. That I was being selfish by continuing to work. That by putting my desires first, I’d be failing my children. There’s so much pressure, as a mother, to make the right choices, and his words, they just ate at me.”
This wasn’t the first time Eve had spoken of Harrison’s manipulative tendencies, but Faith hadn’t expected anything so extreme. How could anyone be so cruel toward someone they were supposed to love?
“His mother was even worse.” Eve began tying another knot in the rope, this time looping it over and under in a complex pattern. “We were never close until I became pregnant, then suddenly, I was her beloved daughter. My parents had moved to England by then, and my mother was dealing with some serious health issues, so they weren’t able to visit. Eleanor stepped into my mother’s role, staying by my bedside while I was in the hospital. She pretended to be sympathetic, while really she was manipulating me. She convinced me that I’d be a bad mother if I didn’t fully dedicate myself to the twins. This was while there was still a chance that I’d lose them. I spent the rest of my pregnancy in the hospital, terrified that the twins wouldn’t make it. So when they were born happy and healthy, I was so relieved.”
Eve looped the rope once more and pulled it tight, leaving an elaborate knot in the middle. “But still, I was unhappy. I loved the twins so much, but I just felt empty. As time went on, as they grew up, those feelings didn’t go away. I needed something more to be fulfilled. Eventually, I decided something had to change. I told Harrison I was going back to work, but he forbade it. By then, I was so worn down from constantly being controlled by him and his family that I didn’t fight him. And I was too depressed to see how messed up my situation was. Instead, I just became even more withdrawn. Harrison couldn’t understand why I was so unhappy. I had the perfect life. I had everything a woman could possibly want. His mother told me the same thing. That my family should be enough for me.”
Eve stared down at the knotted rope in her hands, guilt written all over her face. “I started to feel like there was something wrong with me. I started to believe that I was a bad mother. Eleanor certainly didn’t help dispel that idea. She was so critical of everything I did. And she stopped me getting help for the way I was feeling. She threatened me, said that if I went to the doctor or spoke to anyone about my problems, she’d have me declared mentally unfit and have the twins taken away from me. She didn’t have any real basis for it, of course. But at the time, I believed her.”
Anger erupted deep inside Faith. Just the idea of someone trying to tear the twins from Eve filled her with rage.
“It was my own mother who saved me,” Eve said. “My parents, they came to visit for the first time since the twins were born. As soon as my mother saw me, she knew something was seriously wrong. I ended up breaking down in her arms, sobbing, telling her everything. She was horrified by how bad things had gotten. She helped me see how toxic Harrison and his family’s influence was and convinced me to seek help for my depression. She encouraged me to try a separation and helped me realize I could escape the life I was trapped in. When I started the divorce process, it was a weight off my shoulders. I knew it was the right decision. But still, I felt so hopeless. So powerless. I was lucky to have supportive and loving friends and family, but I’d been helpless for so long that I didn’t know how to feel otherwise. Then one day, I crossed paths with an old friend of mine.”
Eve pulled at one end of the rope. The last knot she’d tied vanished completely. “Her name is Vicki. We met in business school but fell out of touch because our lives went in vastly different directions. I got married and started a family, while she was living the life of a womanizing party girl. We ended up reconnecting, and when I told her about the separation, she made it her mission to help me make the most of my newfound freedom. She dragged me out to bars and parties, encouraged me to explore my sexuality. It was her way of being supportive. And it helped. I’d been living this restrictive, conventional life for so long, I’d forgotten how to have fun.” She ran the rope through her hands, feeling each knot. “One day, Vicki invited me to go to Lilith’s Den with her. She’d always been open about her tastes, but I’d never shown an interest in anything like that. I went along with her anyway. That night, it changed my life.”
Faith thought back to the first time she’d gone to Lilith’s Den. She’d felt the same way. Just walking through the door had awakened something in her.
“There was something so empowering about it,” Eve continued. “Seeing all those strong, self-assured women who were completely in control. And the submissives. There was this power in them too, in vulnerability so freely given. It opened my eyes to a world where women could explore their sexuality, let out their true selves, discover their inner strength. I think that’s why Vicki took me there. She must have sensed that it was something I needed. She was right. Lilith’s Den helped me crawl out of the hole I was in, helped me take back control. It helped me rebuild my life and gave me the confidence to pursue what I wanted. It helped me live again.
“It’s been a few years since then, and this?” Eve held up the rope. “It still makes me feel the way it did that very first night at Lilith’s Den. And lately, those feelings have only gotten stronger.” Her eyes met Faith’s. “With you, those feelings have only gotten stronger.”
Faith’s heart sped up.
“That part of me,” Eve said. “That woman in the corset. Until now, I’ve never let her be anything more than a persona. But being with you has made me realize she’s as much a part of me as any other. Being with you makes me feel more complete and more alive than I have in years.”
“Eve,” Faith said softly. “I feel that too.” She’d never felt freer than when Eve had her bound up in ropes. She’d never felt more content tha
n when Eve had her arms around her. She’d never felt happier than when Eve said Faith was hers.
Eve tossed the rope aside and pulled Faith down to the bed, drawing her into an embrace. “As soon as we’re free to be together, I’m going to treat you how you deserve to be treated. I’m going to take you out, and spoil you, and show the world you’re mine. There are many more nights like this ahead. ”
“I can’t wait.” Faith melted into Eve’s arms. She was starting to come down from that high, but with Eve by her side, it was impossible to feel anything but serene.
But at the back of her mind, Faith was still wary. It was too early to start dreaming about the future.
Too much was still up in the air.
Chapter Twenty-Two
I t was nighttime when Faith received a phone call from Eve.
Faith was lounging around at home on one of her days off after having worked seven days in a row. That week had seemed tortuously long. Being around Eve, while keeping things strictly professional, was harder now than ever. And yet, being apart from Eve was even worse.
Faith had fallen hard.
She picked up the phone, eager to hear Eve’s voice.
“I need you to come to the house,” Eve said. “Now.”
“Sure.” Faith frowned. Eve’s voice had a hard edge. “Is everything okay? Is it the twins?” They were supposed to be at their father’s.
“I’ll explain when you get here.”
“I have to get dressed first, then I’ll be right over.”
“Just make it quick.” Eve hung up the phone.
Dread rolled down Faith’s back. Something was very wrong. She could hear it in Eve’s voice.
She threw on some jeans and a jacket, grabbed her keys, and headed to Eve’s house. It was late, and there was no traffic, so it wasn’t long before she arrived.
She unlocked the door and let herself in. The house was eerily silent. “Eve?”
“In here,” Eve called.
Faith followed Eve’s voice to her office. Inside, Eve stood by her desk, her back to the door.
“Eve?” Faith said quietly. “Are you okay?”
Eve turned. Her face was deathly pale, and her lips were pressed into a thin line. She was staring down at the phone in her hand.
Faith approached her. “What’s going on?”
“It’s Harrison. He—” Eve swallowed. “It’s easier if I just show you.”
Eve handed her phone to Faith. A video was queued up on the screen, but it was too dark to see anything. Faith pressed play. The video looked like it had been taken inside a bar or club. As it played on, the crowd came into focus. Most of the people were dressed in skimpy, provocative clothing. In the background, all kinds of unusual fixtures and equipment could be seen.
Instantly, Faith knew where the video had been taken. “This is Lilith’s Den.”
Eve didn’t respond. She didn’t need to.
The video zoomed in on some seating in a corner, hidden away from the main floor of the club. Despite the dim lighting, the two figures in the seats could be seen clearly. Faith, with a collar around her neck, and Eve, dressed in a tight, revealing corset, her arm around Faith.
Faith’s stomach churned. This was from the last night she and Eve had gone to Lilith’s Den .
On the screen, Eve pushed Faith back against the chair before grabbing her by the collar and planting a forceful kiss on her lips, her hand straying down Faith’s chest. A second later, Faith shook her head and cringed away, speaking angrily to Eve. The video had no sound, but Faith’s gestures and expression made it clear that things were getting heated. After several seconds, Eve grabbed Faith’s hand and dragged her out of frame. The video ended.
Faith cursed under her breath. This did not look good. The camera had captured the exact moment when Faith had gotten upset. While in reality, it had been nothing more than a minor quarrel, the distance and the angle of the camera meant that the video showed a very different scene. It looked like Eve was aggressively forcing herself on a somewhat unwilling woman in some kind of dark, perverted sex club. To the outside eye, the scene presented was scandalous. And Eve looked positively predatory.
Faith looked up at Eve. “What’s this?”
“Harrison sent it to me,” Eve said.
“I don’t understand. How did he get this?”
“He took it himself. He was at Lilith’s that night. Apparently, a friend of his who’s a member let it slip that I go there too. Harrison wanted to see it for himself, so he convinced his friend to take him along as a guest. I don’t know if he was trying to catch me in the act or if it was just a coincidence, but he was lucky enough to find me with you. My nanny.”
It all clicked together in Faith’s mind. Harrison had met her. He knew who Faith was. And now he knew Eve was having some kind of kinky relationship with her nanny .
“What do you think he’s going to do with this?” Faith asked.
“I don’t have to guess,” Eve said. “He told me exactly what he’s going to. He’s going to use this video as evidence that I’m an unfit mother to bolster his case for custody and have the twins taken from me. That is, unless I comply with his demands.”
“He’s blackmailing you?”
“He wants me to drop my petition for custody. Let him have the twins full-time. If I do, he’ll let me have visitation. If I don’t cooperate, he and his lawyers will make sure I’ll never get to see the twins again.”
“But he can’t do that. Not with just this video. It doesn’t show you doing anything wrong or illegal.”
“No, it doesn’t.” Eve folded her arms across her chest, holding them tightly to her. “But image matters in the eyes of family court. Good mothers don’t go to BDSM clubs or have affairs with their nanny. He’s going to use it to paint a picture of me as unstable.”
“But that’s a lie,” Faith said. “And this is just one video. It isn’t any evidence of anything.”
“He has other evidence. From back when the twins were young. Doctors’ reports about my mental state.” Eve’s voice wavered. “I was in bad shape by the time I went to see a doctor. He can use that.”
“That’s the ammunition Harrison has against you?” That was why, this entire time, Eve had been determined to be on her best behavior?
Eve nodded. “It’s nothing damming, but his lawyers, they’ll twist it, make it seem like a bigger deal than it was. Make me seem like a bad mother. ”
“But that was years ago. And all those problems you had, it was because of him and his messed-up family!”
“I can’t blame his family for everything. I’m responsible for the state I was in. I’m responsible for the way I felt.”
“No, you’re not. Lots of women feel the way you did. It isn’t unusual to get depressed after having kids. It doesn’t make you a bad mother.”
“Not everyone understands that,” Eve said. “All a judge is going to see is a mother whose children drove her to despair. Harrison’s lawyers will make sure of that. They’re the best in the business. Pay them enough, and they can get anyone off for murder. All they have to do is spin me as some kind of mentally ill pervert, and that’s it. I lose the twins.”
“You have good lawyers too,” Faith said. “You can fight this.”
“The risks are just too great. If I fight this and I lose, I’ll never see the twins again. I can’t lose them, Faith.”
“So what are you going to do? You can’t just give up.”
“I don’t have a choice! Harrison, he’s a powerful man. And he has a never-ending supply of money. I can’t go up against him with so much at risk. I can’t win against him.”
“Yes, you can! You have to try, at least.”
“You don’t understand.” Eve threw her hands up. “How could you? You’re not a mother. You don’t understand what’s at risk here. You couldn’t possibly comprehend what this is like.”
It was true. Faith didn’t know what this felt like. She couldn’t imagine the depths of Eve�
��s anguish. “You’re right,” Faith said. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry this is happening. If there’s anything I can do to— ”
“No,” Eve said. “I called you here to let you know what was going on, but what I need right now is time and space to work this out. The twins will be staying with Harrison until everything is sorted, so they won’t be needing a nanny. And I don’t need you wrapped up in this mess any further.”
“Oh.” It was no surprise Eve wanted Faith gone. It was Eve’s relationship with her that had caused this, after all. “You’re right. It’s for the best.”
Eve didn’t respond. She just continued to stare at nothing at all.
“I’ll leave you alone, then.” Faith hesitated. “And I’m sorry. I hope you can work things out.”
Faith left the room. Eve didn’t even look at her. She didn’t say goodbye. And as Faith made her way home, Eve’s haunted face was all she could see.
Chapter Twenty-Three
F aith was woken up by the sound of knocking on her front door.
She groaned and threw off her covers, squinting at the sun shining through her curtains. It was almost midday, but she’d spent most of the night a sleepless wreck. She’d only fallen asleep a few hours ago.
The knocking continued. Faith got out of bed and walked out to the door. She opened it up to find Lindsey standing in the hallway.
Crap. “We’re supposed to go to lunch,” Faith said. “I completely forgot.”
“Did you just wake up?” Lindsey asked.
“Yeah. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
Lindsey frowned. “Are you okay?”
“You should probably just come in.”
Lindsey followed Faith inside. “What’s going on?”
“It’s Eve.” Faith collapsed onto the couch. Lindsey joined her. “Everything is messed up, and it’s all my fault.” She’d stewed on it overnight. It had made her realize just how bad things were. Eve’s family was at risk because of Faith. And now, Eve wanted nothing to do with her.