by Desiree Holt
I’m still at the tail end of my haze, but I nod. “I will be,” I say truthfully.
My grandpa smiles sadly. He looks like shit after all this. I’m sure I do, too.
“I’ll be in the next room if you need me,” he says.
“Thanks, Grandpa.”
“I love you, kid.” He sounds all choked up as he says this.
I smile, and I’m reminded of why I’ve put my life on the line for him like this. He is one of the most important people in the world to me. Out of everything else, he’s always been there for me. “Love you, too.”
Grandpa wheels away from the door and shuts it, leaving me in the dark. I’m physically exhausted, but I’m not sure if I can sleep. After all, I have so many thoughts running through my head.
I almost died today. And what would I have to show for it? Money? No, there’s a lot more to live for, and I would have thought…should have hoped I meant more to some people.
A knock at the door startles me. At first, I think it’s Grandpa, then I hear, the soft, “Can I come in?”
Leslie.
She’s standing in the doorway, silhouetted by the light behind her. I can still see the features of her face, how she’s frowning and looks like she’s seen the other side of death.
I sit up straighter in my bed, fighting back a wince as I do so. I don’t want her to see me in pain, even though I’m aching on the inside from her being in my room. How many times did I take her in here and we’d have sex? And how many times did I believe that it meant as much to her as it did to me.
“You disappeared,” I croak. It comes out accusingly, and she flinches.
“I had to make things right.”
I raise an eyebrow. “And are they right now?”
There’s a small curve to her lips. I wonder why she’s smiling. “They aren’t yet. But they will be. There are going to be some changes in the future.”
I’m about to ask her to explain, but she crosses the room, closing the door behind her as she does so, and sits on the edge of my bed. Just out of reach. But I know there’s a lot wider of a gap between us.
“How are you feeling?” she asks.
“I’ve been better,” I say truthfully. “But the doc says that I’ll heal up nicely.”
“Good. I’m glad.”
The awkwardness is almost unbearable. I want to scoop her up in my arms—fuck the arm that’s not working correctly at the moment—and kiss her and tell her everything. But I can’t.
“I almost lost you today, Ryan.”
I stifle a laugh. She can’t lose me. Not when she’s never wanted me.
She keeps talking, and I let her, even though I want her to stop before she breaks my heart any further. “I almost lost you, Ryan, and that was before I realized what you meant to me.”
Stop kidding yourself, I say to myself. It’s the drugs talking. She’s made it abundantly clear how little you mean to her in the romantic sense.
But I feel alert and wide awake now. Alert enough to realize that she’s scooted down the bed a bit closer to me. Enough for me to feel the heat off her body.
“I talked with a…friend…of mine last night,” she continues, “who gave me some clarity on what I should do. About us.”
“And what about us?” I ask, not daring to get my hopes up.
Our eyes meet and for the briefest second, I feel the electricity pass between us. She leans forward and kisses me, softly and tenderly at first. Timidly.
She breaks the kiss and presses her forehead to mine. “I love you, Ryan. And I’m sorry it took so long for me to realize that.”
I stare into those green eyes, waiting for the other shoe to drop, because surely this is a trick. But no, this is just her being honest. Telling me what I had wanted to hear from her all along.
With my good hand, I grab her and crash my lips against hers, the fiery passion igniting between us. My tongue fills her mouth and she accepts it, willingly.
She loves me. My Leslie.
Something else ignites within the kiss, and I reach up with my good hand and start kneading her breast through her shirt. She moans against my lips at the contact. She wants more. And fuck it, so do I.
“I need you,” I whisper.
“What about your shoulder?” she asks.
“We’ll figure it out,” I growl. “Really, I just need one thing to be working to do this.”
A slow wicked smile comes onto her lips. “I’ll be on top.”
I close my eyes and sigh happily. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
She unbuttons my shirt, pressing searing-hot kisses all down the length of my chest, hovering just above the waistband of my jeans. Slowly, tantalizingly, she undoes the button and the zipper, and pulls my jeans and boxers down to my ankles, exposing my shaft.
My eyes almost roll in the back of my head as she strokes me, deliciously quick, then slowly. I groan at the feeling of her mouth around my tip, swirling. She takes me as deep as she can go, and then works up a rhythm of sucking, stroking, and moaning.
One thing I love about her: she never takes my cock out of her mouth.
“Fuck,” I whisper, burrowing my head deeper into the pillow. “Yes.”
I hover somewhere near the line of ecstasy and I know that I’m going to come if she doesn’t stop. And, just moments before I think I’m about to explode, she pulls back, and I hear the distinct sound of the condom wrapper being torn.
“You always take care of everything,” I say in my sexual haze.
She grins down triumphantly at me. “I’m your handler,” she says. “I know exactly what you need, when you need it.”
God, it’s so hot for her to say that.
She doesn’t even bother removing her skirt, she just hikes it up, and moves her panties to the side. And just before, she sinks down on me, she whispers, raggedly. “I love you so much, Ryan Shepherd.”
“I love you, too,” I tell her honestly.
And she slides down on me all the way to the hilt, and I hiss in pleasure. She’s wet and ready for me. Who am I to deny her that? My shoulder be damned, I can’t get enough of this woman. It’s not going to be the short quickie that we both thought it was going to be.
She works up another rhythm, this time a different one where both our bodies are singing together. And when we both come, she cries out my name.
And it’s the sweetest sound in the world.
Epilogue
Leslie
Two months later
“I’m cutting you off.”
Ryan looks up at me and raises an eyebrow. “Cutting me off?”
I nod at his empty glass. “I’ve lost count of how many drinks you’ve had. Plus, it’s nearly closing time. So I’m cutting you off, Mister.”
His full luscious lips pull up into a drunk, cocky smile. “And if I don’t want to be cut off?”
I cross my arms and playfully bat at his arm. “Well, then you’re not getting lucky tonight.”
His eyes darken. “We’ll see about that.”
And just like that, my cheeks burn and I feel the heat growing between my legs. Ryan can always get me hot and bothered at the most inopportune times. Many times, we just make love anyways, but right now, I’m helping him close up The Drinking Horn. He wanted to have a few drinks to celebrate his clean bill of health from Dr. Chin. The gunshot wound has healed completely, with no permanent damage.
And it certainly hasn’t impacted his sex drive. I can’t wait to fuck him when there are no health restrictions. Not that we have been abiding by those rules completely. But I have a few ideas for later tonight.
While he’s been celebrating with his grandpa, I’ve taken over the bar and helped customers. I’ve had a few drinks as well, so I’m getting a little loose-lipped myself. But that’s all right. I’m in the company of friends.
It’s amazing how things have changed in the space of a few months.
With the last big paycheck from the zoo, including a huge stipend for Ryan’s injury, T
he Drinking Horn is safe and Ernest is getting the treatment that he needs.
And Ryan is happier than ever.
And I’m happy for us.
“One more drink,” Ernest pleads. He’s stone cold sober, due to his treatments, but he’s keeping up with us with glasses of water.
Not the same thing, but I’m not splitting hairs. After all, tonight is for celebration.
“Sure,” I say, pouring tequila shots for both Ryan and myself and a shot of water for Ernest. Why the hell not?
Ryan gives me an all-knowing smile as the three glasses clink together. We drink and the alcohol burns all the way down in a good way, settling deep in the pit of my stomach. Oh, I’m getting so drunk.
“You think that new rhino at the zoo is better looking than me?” Ryan muses.
A few weeks ago, the Bay Area Zoo secured a new male white rhino for the enclosure, effectively taking Ryan’s job. Not that he’s complaining—I think he’d never set foot in there again after what happened during Safari ‘Round the Zoo.
“Are you jealous of him?” I ask.
“No.” Ryan shakes his head vigorously, a display of just how many drinks he’s had. “I’m just curious if he’s better-looking.”
Really? He’s concerned about how I feel about a rhino.
“I think he’s more well-hung,” I say, knowing that it would drive him wild. But have you seen the junk on a male rhino? That’s one challenge that I don’t think I could ever take. “But as far as good-looking? Well, I’m having drinks right now with the one that I prefer.”
Ryan pulls me to him and plants a kiss on my lips. I nearly swoon right then and there. Because he’s mine. He’s my rhino.
“So what’s next for you two love birds?” Ernest asks. “Wedding bells in the future?”
Ryan and I both make faces, which causes the older man to frown in confusion and we laugh. This is actually a great segue for us to tell him our news. Ryan and I had been discussing it, and despite the fact that I love my Victorian house in Nob Hill, there are far too many bad memories of Blake and I there. I want to start anew, and I want to do that with Ryan.
“Nah,” I say. “But I hope that you don’t mind having another roommate upstairs.”
Ernest’s frown turns into a wide grin. “You’re moving in?”
“Yes,” Ryan says, keeping a protective arm around my waist. “She’s the newest tenant here.”
One step at a time, right? Even though I can see Ryan being in my future for a long time, I don’t want to move too quickly—despite the fact that we had sex the first time we met. I want to explore this new relationship. I want to do it right. And I want to do it with Ryan.
Ernest laughs in sheer delight. “Well, then, that deserves another drink!”
I pour more. Again, why the hell not?
“To a new rhino in the family!” Ernest says, raising his glass.
I stop and look to Ryan, who shakes his head kindly. “Sorry Grandpa. Not yet.”
The old man blinks at him. “What?”
“Leslie and I discussed that too, and I’m not turning her into a rhino just yet,” Ryan explains. “She still has her job at Shifters Unlimited, and being a shifter could jeopardize that. You know how different animals don’t get along.”
Ernest snorts in response. Yep, he knows exactly what Ryan means.
“So, we’re seeing how this goes,” Ryan continues. “And beyond that?”
“We’ll just see,” I say, kissing him. “But for right now, I’ve found my rhino.”
“And your man,” Ryan rumbles happily.
Afterword
What do you think of the idea of Shifters Unlimited? Would you like to read more of these stories of shifters being recruited for contract positions throughout the world?
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please reach out to me at [email protected] or www.facebook.com/erinhayesbooks.
About the Author
Sci-fi junkie, video game nerd, and wannabe manga artist Erin Hayes writes a lot of things. Sometimes she writes books.
She works as an advertising copywriter and moonlights as an author. She has lived in Texas, New Zealand, Birmingham, Alabama and now in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband, cat, and a growing collection of geek paraphernalia.
You can reach her at [email protected] and she'll be happy to chat. Especially if you want to debate Star Wars.
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Also by Erin Hayes
The Cotton Candy Quintet: How to be a Mermaid
I’d Rather be a Witch
I Do Believe in Faeries
I’m Not Afraid of Wolves (coming Fall 2016)
The Harker Trilogy
Damned if I Do
Damned if I Don’t
Damned Either Way (Coming Fall 2016)
Death is but a Dream
Fractured
Jacob Smith is Incredibly Average
How the Ghost Was Won (Coming Fall 2016)
Open Hearts
Head Case: A Weird Science Romance (Available on Radish)
Escaping the Lutha
M.J. Haag
While on the run, Rogan meets a woman even crazier than the one he’s been commanded to marry. And the cute little package with an eye-twitch might just be his key to escaping the Lutha.
One
TINK
Contingency planning saves lives. The words bounced around in my head. Pay attention to all the details, not just the ones you think will affect you.
A headache clawed at my skull, and I gripped the counter while eyeing the empty flour container.
“Cookies will happen,” I said loudly, to drown out the voice. “Cookies. Cookies.”
As I repeated what I wanted to do, I picked up my long coat and purse, then moved to the door.
Will and Denz were just coming up the stairs as I left the apartment. I couldn’t hear their steps; the voice was still too loud. I hated the voice and the headaches.
“Cookies,” I said at them. “They will happen.”
Will smiled at me. He looked so handsome when he smiled. His pearly whites accented his caramel skin.
“They sure will, Tiny Tink,” he said.
I repeated my name in my head, trying to force the voice to silence. Tink. Tink. Tink. Tiny Tink. Me. That’s me. They made me Tiny Tink. And I liked them for it.
I started to pat Will’s chest as I passed him but paused at the first touch.
You have a gift. Use it to ensure your place.
“My place is here,” I said, shaking my head at the voice. I wanted it to go away so badly.
I looked up into Will’s deep brown eyes.
“And that girl who kissed you is up to no good. Stay away from her.”
Will’s smile faded, and he nodded slowly. I didn’t want him sad. He and Denz were my friends.
“I’m out of flour. Tell your brother he can come over when he has his homework done.” I left them in the hall and bounced down the steps.
“Cookies. Cookies, cookies, cookies.”
Outside, Cara was sauntering down the sidewalk. Back lit from the streetlights, she looked good in her stockings, heels, and short skirt.
“Hey, Tiny Tink,” she said with a smile when she saw me. “You were right about leaving Bawd Boulevard. I scored big tonight.”
“Save the money for a new dress. If you look upscale, they pay upscale.”
She stopped to hug me, and I shivered in her arms, my gift and curse flaring as I saw where she’d been and what had happened. This was how I’d made my home here. How I helped the people around me.
“Don’t see that one again,” I said. “He’ll get mean. He’ll wreck you.”
Cara released me. “I hear you. He wanted to see me tomorrow, but my scalp still burns from the tug he gave my hair. Bald hookers don’t mak
e much.”
I grinned at the image. “You might be right.”
“Later, Tink!” She sauntered away toward the apartment building, and I continued on.
These people kept me from completely disconnecting from the world. They anchored me and gave me purpose. They also kept the clawing loneliness at bay.
At the end of the block, I checked the street and crossed. The night was quiet. Too quiet. The voice was always there ready to fill any silence.
If you cannot master a skill, you are not trying hard enough. Do it again, and keep doing it until you’ve mastered whatever you’re doing. Failure isn’t an option.
“I won’t fail. I will make cookies tonight.” My voice bounced off the nearby buildings.
I marched on, crossing ill-lit blocks with determined footfalls. Some youths loitered outside of buildings. They scared most people. Not me. I smiled at them as I passed. One of the boys moved to flip me off, but his friend stopped it.
Power is control.
I shook my head, trying to dislodge the words.
“I’m making cookies,” I said.
“Have fun, Tink,” the one boy said. “Stay clear of sixth street. Heard there might be trouble there tonight.”
I stopped walking and turned toward the boy.
“Anyone I know?” I liked the people in these neighborhoods and knew the majority of them. Sure, some were confrontational at first, but once they came to know me that usually changed.
“A few.”
This was my home, and I wouldn’t lose any of my friends because they didn’t know how to avoid confrontation. I walked over to the boy and set my hand on his shoulder. He gave away the names of my friends without even knowing it.
Will, Denz, and someone new. I wanted to stomp my foot.