your loving Friend
Addie
The circumstances leading to Addie’s pessimistic view of men are not clear, but she is very emphatic here.
New York Sept. 28 1861
My Loved Friend
I have got up rather early this A.M. breakfast is not quite ready so I thought Id pen a few lines to you.
[…] Mrs. Nott told me the day I left Hartford that Fred thought a great deal of me I thought she was joking but there was a Lady there at the same time she said it was so what has he done with himself H F she will not like it all will she my Friend but my part I have no faith in no man what they say goes in one ear and comes out the other sometimes when I get to thinking about different things in particular the fact I almost hate the site of a man I wish that I could talk to you as freely I think on different subject are we still going to remain so is there never going to be any change with either one us well I’m getting hungre I tell you here comes one of my little Brother so I must go now good morning my Darling untill you hear from again [….]
New York Sept. 29 1861
My Darling Friend
Ive just come from downstairs from a harghty laugh I will tell what occur this P.M. I went to church when it was out Mr. Jacobs escorted me home when I got to the door I ask him if he would could come in he said no that he would call in the eve. The folk say that he comes to see me I tell them to the contrary. Selina she did not expected her Lover so she went to her room to write to him. I came up to put the Children to bed then I went to reveling I got tired then threw myself on the bed thinking of my beloved Friend wondering what was she doing at that present moments while in that deep reverie I fell a sleep. I got up in a little while and found that I was in the dark so I went downstairs and found Mr. Jacobs there Mother call me in the parlo. Mo left. I had to entertain the Gent, while in deep conversation there came a ring at the door so I went to who should it be but Selina Lover then the four of us. I did not feel like seeing company for I did not feel very well I dreadful cold in my head. After Mr. M come in Mr. J would not talk any you know I’m no great talker so there we to set so when it got 9 o’clock that he would go Selina was provoke about it half past nine he sit and ten he still. I threw out as many hints as I could and still he never took them. I got up went out of the room and staid out quite a while. Grandma went in to bid them good night so about half past ten he start off. I was so glad so Selina come in the room and was telling Mother what I said to him. My Darling Friend have you been there so if you have then you can feel for me.
How I wish to be in Hartford this P.M. coming from Church remind me of when I was there when you and me would be returning from Church having you whisper in my ears sweet words or asking what is the matter with you my Dear girl I have no one to day that I’m called by sweet and Affectionate words but they not you all day yesterday and even last night I wishing that I was in your loving arms and you would be imprinting sweat kisses [….] I must bring this to a close for it tis 11 o’clock I must soon retire for the night prepare to get up tomorrow A.M. early so good night my sweet Friend and except one fond kiss
Believed me to be your most Dear and Near Friend Addie
Though Addie has been very forthright about her emotional connection to Rebecca, her dream of “other things” is one of the first hints of the truly erotic nature of their relationship.
New York Oct. 2 1861
My Beloved Rebecca
I have just put the Children to bed and mother got company and I dont care much about going down I thought I would pen a few lines to you my Darling I rec those things by Mr. Lee that cake is pleasant I cut it last night I gave all a taste of it. They was delighted with it you thought it was little to sweet but it was just right you know that you never could get anything to sweet for me [….]I’m very much oblige to you for the I have had the headache for the last two or three weeks all of them here is about crazy to see you and get aquainted with you personal O Dear Im looking forward to the time if it should arrive well I live in hopes every A.M. I think it one day less I dreampt of you last night I thought I was seting on your lap with my head on your bosom other things connected with it. I will not tell you at present. When I wake up in the night and found it was all a dream I was so disappointed.
[…] My Dear Dear Friend do you think that my feelings are change God knows there are not only will you think so only will you harbor such thoughts and feelings toward me only will you not forgive and forget what I said and done when I was there last summer if ever I done anything in my life that I deeply repent it was what I done and said while I was with you you will ever have that against me Oh Heavens forbid that you should my Dearest Friend will you not forgive and forget do do please I have done wrong and if anything ungrateful that was My Dear Im not perfect why will you be so hard I have read your letter several times I have shed tears and bitter […] Dear Rebecca have I not always be candid with you if not I will for the future Dear Rebecca may I ask you to forgive and forget your Friend Addie
New York Nov. 14 1861
My Ever Dear Friend
[…] Week before last Selina came home very lively keep us a laughing for a great while so in the mean time she said she had some letters to write so she ask Mother to give her some money to buy some paper so she says Addie dont you want to go with me well I said yes so I went up stairs to get my things to put on she came up behind me I seen she had something in hands she began to undress her self I said what are you doing you will see well I did see she had on Mr. Brooke clothes and was going out with them she wanted to fool the family we went a little way then came back I went in the house they had mentioned something of the kind for Aunt Chat had come up stairs and found her clothes on the floor and other thing she could not change her voice so she did not have as much fun as she anticipated Mrs. Scott would not believe it was her.
[…] Rebecca there is a very rich widower here the other night he gave the society in the church $20 what do you think of that so nexe week is thanksgiving Mother is going to have a dinner party [….] I’m very oblige to you for that skirt in what way can I ever repay you for your kindness you must give my love to your mother Aunt and the rest of the Friend […] except one sweat kiss from your loving Addie
Free black communities throughout the country established private schools that were often funded by their wealthier members. Thus far, records of Primus’s Hartford school have not been located.
New York Dec.[n.d.] 1861
My Dear & Devoted Friend
Its just one week to day since I rec your kind and Affec letter that day I was very sick I think a part of it was cause of my anxiety about yours I thought you was sick in fact I had all kind of imaginary thoughts at present I feel quite well both in body and mind. I see you still have your private school have you descend down yet with your pupils I often wish that I could take a birds eye view at you especially when your are playing some of my favorites. I will tell you how I spend Thanksgiving we did expect company they disappointed us we expected father he did not come we had dinner at 4 o’clock after that Mother & Mr. B went up in the parlor Mrs. Scott went to her room the Children went out in the st Selina staid down by a good fire and I having a pleasant Chit Chat and I of course was talking of you then we was disturb by a ring at the door it was Mr. Burton called to see if B would go out with him Mother & B Selina & Mr. Burton went to the academy of music they was very much please they wish me to go but I believe I had made up my mind through the day to write to you in the evening after all [….] Now my Darling you remember what you said at the closing of your as you wish to let it rest there all I will still love you tenderly and truly give my love to all believed me to remain your lovingly Addie Brown
PS please to excuse this letter the mistake and writing
New York Dec. 8 1861
My Dearest & Affec Friend
I seat myself with pleasing task in writing a few lines to the object of my thoughts. I’ve not attend church today Mother has been sick all or part of the
family has remain home to day I have bent over your written gems of thought I have sighed and wish that I could feel your warm hand clasp my own to look into the depths of your eyes and hear your voice how I long to be embrace once more in your loving arms but it will be all in vain. Selina Lover is here this eve for the first time within three week he has been very sick he ought not to be out now I suppose he could not stay away any longer love is a great thing one day last week I went to the Doctor for Mrs. Scott & on my way there I met Mr. Lee he was very polite indeed its the first time I seen him since I gave him his dismissal […] I will have to stop now my light is given out and also time that I had retire here is one or two verse of poetry I want to pen I must hurry
Alone
Thou art not with me and the hours
All wearily go flitting by
A gloom is on my heart and brow
That seeks relief in many sigh
I dare not dwell upon the past
Those joyous hours that knew not pain
I dare not ask the coming years
If we shall ever meet again
I only know thou art not here
And life has lost its sweetness to me
And though my lips may wear a smile
My heart is sad and all alone
now my Dear Rebecca I must bid you a kind good night
One of the great strengths of these letters is the manner in which they push aside the veil that covers much of nineteenth-century black life. Here, in this instance of black family traditions that have remained undocumented, we witness a festive Christmas celebration that is probably not too different from that of white Victorian households.
New York Dec. 25 1861
My Dearest & Devoted Friend
I suppose you think its time that you had ans to you very kind and interesting letter when I rec yours I was very sick I had been so for two or three days you know that I inform you in my last of having a cold it would not leave me untill it put me in my bed I suffer very much O Dear Rebecca how I did miss you one night I felt very bad I had such excruciating pains all over me and then thinking of you I cried so that Aunt Chat gave me a scolding she thought I would make myself worse. At present I feel somewhat better I spoke of Aunt Chat she has been home one week yesterday when she came she found us in bed Selina and I are so disappointed she is not going to remain this winter to home just hear me at home she going to sea again I believed she will get $45 a month don’t you think that a great deal? I sometime wish it was me I think she will do well if she only be saving with it not spend on this that dont think her much she going to be little more saving for the future O hear she is asking me who I am writing to I have told she says bless her dear heart tell her I wish her a Merry Christmas and happy New Year and hope you will live to see many more she think of you often you are in her dreams & thought she had a beautiful time in Hudson if you had of been there you would of injoyed yourself very much what she let me see I forget the last is this except a kiss she is a sweat girl. I believed that all.
Now Dear Rebecca how did you spend Christmas well I hope I will tell you how I spend mine I went to church they thought if I was to wrap myself up warm and walk slow that I could it was extremely cold. All the family went there was 10 of us quite a number dont you think so? When church was out the Sunday school had a festival they had a tree & presents for all the scholars two or three made some remark Aunt Chat left for any of us, when we got home it was 5 o’clock and she had dinner for us. Selina had her Friend Rebecca and also her Lover mother had a Christmas tree none of us was allowed to go in the parlor about five minutes before 7 we miss Mother & Mr. B of course at 7 they open the doors and the parlor did look beautiful they had the tree all lit up and all the lamps they could find you ought of seen our Children they did not know what to make of it. If it will be agreeable I will tell you about the present there was one for each one of us on the tree father had a dressing gown & smoking cap and pair of slippers Mother a net for her hair and a lamp mat Mrs. Scott a pair of stocking and handkerchief Aunt Chat a hood Ally and Warwick a pair of skates Johnny a suit of clothes Jon & Walter a suit of soldier clothes and Selina a dress I also got one. Mr. & Mrs. Alston came in to see the tree about 9 there was four young Ladies came there were fine Gentlemen they staid untill 12 we had Egg nog and cake we had very nice time Mother and the rest of the family anticipate having a very nice time New year day that a great calling day with the Gents you know what I do if I had money of course no you dont well I would come and spend that day with you for I would injoy myself much better in your society then home O Dear how do want to see you I must try & come up to Hartford this winter I often wish Aunt Chat would say Addie don’t you want to go to Hartford I would say I guess I would then we’d go well I may wish she often speak of you and said she would like to see you. I’m going to tell you little more news do not mention it to any one Mrs. Hector has left her Husband she is staying nexe door she come in to see me Friday Angeline going out to […] Mrs. H say of her Husband do differently by her she will live with him again not untill he does both of them have made up there mind never to go on a boat again I think they will be very much indeed by the community dont you think so well my dear my head is aching so I must close this by wishing you a merry Christmas and a very happy New Year
for I am as ever your Loving
Addie
PS please to give my love to the family to your Aunt Emily and a kiss how I would like to see her Addie
Chapter Four
“Call you my sister”
1862-1864
ADDIE’S first letter of the new year finds her still in New York, living with the Jacksons. Here, she paints a portrait of domesticity. Her brother Ally reads a book as she writes by the fire. However Addie learned to read, in this she is clearly exceptional among her peers. From now on, she will begin to write more about her reading to Rebecca.
Ally’s book is probably The Lamp and the Lantern, or Light for the Tent and Traveler, by James Hamilton. Published in 1853, this text was about the important influence of the Bible on the lives of young men.
Although these are personal letters, they give us a sense of the way the Civil War affected New York’s black community. By the fall of 1862, Addie has moved to Hartford, and there are fewer letters between herself and Rebecca.
New York Sun. Jan. 10, 1862
My Dearly & Beloved Friend
It is a very gloomy day it has been rainy all the a.m. now it is stop I have been thinking of you and wondering what you are about well I will imagine you with pupils around you and also giving them good instructions I guess by this time they all very fond of you. I sometime wish that I was a school girl again for this one reason so that I could be under you charge then I could be with the object of my affections daily and hourly while now I’m diprive of it to day, My love I have been very unhappy you say to yourself what is the cause of it. I was going to say I hardly know myself but that not so. Rebecca I want to see you very much I think of you daily & dream of you nightly sometime they are pleasant ones then again unpleasant I hinted to mother about going to Hartford on some Saturday and stay until Monday but she will not take the hint and one thing the business is very dull here […] my Dear I felt very bad when I read your letter you spoking of writing me with a severe headach you know I would pity a day with headach for I know it is. My darling I want ask you one favor, I do not know weather you will grant are not I is to this do not write to me when you in any pain no matter were.
[…] My brother Ally he his sitting along side me reading a book called the Lamp lighty our cat laying on the rug sleeping Aunt Chat she is down stairs sewing and geting dinner at the same time I wish dinner was ready I feel somewhat hungre [….]
I seem to love thee more and more now my dear I must go the fire in the front room is gone out so I must go make it up for the evening some one be coming in so good by my loving Friend I untill you here from me again yours truly
Addie
Addie refers to Barn
um’s American Museum, founded by P. T. Barnum in 1840 and located at the intersection of Park Row and Broadway. Throughout the 1860s, the popular venue was known for “exhibits, performances and sensational attractions.” Among these were the Siamese Twins and the “Man Monkey”—William Henry Johnson, an eighteen- year-old black dwarf who was billed as the “missing link” and referred to in the press as a “cross between a nigger and a baboon.”1
New York Jan. 12, 1862
My dear Friend
The rain is keeping me from church not only me but the rest of the family it make me feel sad for I have become a teacher in the Sunday school. I do not care about missing any Sun Although I’m confident that my class will not be there not only the rain but it dreadfull walking the walks is just like sheets of ice. I will inform you how we spend the last day of the old year & the first of the new […] in the eve a gent call to see us and about 10 oclock we had a oyster supper then after supper which about 11 one part of the family went in the parlor while the other clean up the room then we sing just is the old year was bidding farwell to us all we sing a hym and then after we wish a happy New years to each other and retire.
Beloved Sisters and Loving Friends Page 6