But I don’t get that chance as another presence makes himself know, his beer slamming down on the counter and sloshing around. The smell of booze is strong, and I follow the arm, covered in leather, all the way up to a face that is both familiar and unfamiliar. I try not to panic as I look into his glazed over amber eyes. He could very well ruin this entire job for me, and I will never be able to redeem myself. My life will never be something that is fulfilled. Because I can’t live the tiny sham of one that they set up for me.
“Why the hell are you here and dressed like that?” he demands, and I hiss back at him. He needs to stop before he makes a scene.
“This is not the time or place, Jade. I’m not here for you. I didn’t even know you’d be here.” I plead with my eyes, but I can tell he is too far gone to even reason with right now. I need to play this real well.
“You need to get the fuck out of here. You don’t know what you’re playing with,” he says too loudly, his drink splopping from the bottle as he swings his hand around wildly.
Snake comes up to us, and I know I need a damn good story here. “Is everything okay? Is my man bothering you?” Well, if I didn’t know it before, I know now that Jade is for sure a member of the MC. It is a good thing I got out when I did, but I don’t get why my heart feels hurt by this.
“I am fine, just having a not so great second encounter with the first person I met when I moved here,” I tell Snake, focusing in on him. He needs to know that there is nothing between Jade and I and that I know nothing about them or their operations here even if I know enough to be dangerous. He is just a bad acquaintance, maybe someone I slept with, that’s all. That’s what I convince myself to pretend for the moment.
“I think my friend here has had a little too much to drink. Would you like to join me while he dries out upstairs? I promise he won’t bother you anymore.” Snake sounds so charming, but I can tell with him it is all an act.
“No, I mean, I think that it’s best for me to go for tonight. My buzz is a little ruined,” I giggle. I step up towards Snake and get close enough to make it seem like there is some kind of sexual tension going on as I try not to cringe. “But I’d love to come back another night.”
He smirks and runs his fingers through a stray hair and the down my neck almost to my breasts. “I will be here, waiting for you, sweetheart.”
Chapter Twelve
Jade
Snake's hand is squeezing the shit out of my shoulder, and even as drunk as I am, I know that he is pissed as hell at me. He thought he was going to have a nice fuck with Paisley, maybe even get some kind of long-term thing going. Not that I can't see why he would want her. She has this spark that you can see from across the room. You’d have to have blinders on not to notice. But a man like Snake wants to take that spark and squash it out. Get her addicted to sex and drugs and then have her do anything he wants until he’s done and she’s left with nothing. I have watched him do it, but I would be damned if he was going to do it with Paisley.
I shouldn’t feel territorial about her. Not only had I purposefully walked out of her life three weeks ago, but I don’t want to be involved with her. I shouldn’t want to be, anyway. She is FBI. She can get us all in a load of shit we can’t handle. But there was another reason I would never admit out loud. If she kept hanging around me and digging, she would know all of my darks secrets like the fact that I now trade women for money at the damn border. I make sure they never see their friends and families again. And eve more than that, I don’t want Paisley mixed up in this because I don't think even if she got all the info and handed it over that she would make it out alive. Snake is an entirely special kind of sick monster.
Speaking of Snake, my body is not very strong at the moment to fight him as he pushes me up the stairs and into his apartment that sits above this bar; something else he inherited from his father right along with the MC itself.
He shuts the door as my body flops onto his couch. I expect to see fire in his eyes, and this could very well be the end of me. But instead, he sits down next to me. "Look, I want you to stay here and dry out tonight. I know it can't be easy dealing with these cartel fuckers. They are sick, sicker than me, but they will get us to the top. Besides, a lot of these women don't have a better life here either. If they play along, those men will give them a nice place to live."
Is he really playing this shit right now? Or does he really believe this bull? But even drunk, I am smart enough to avoid insulting him. Not just that, but the way he dragged me up here has certainly sobered me up a bit.
"So," he says after some silence, and I tense up, not liking what I know is coming. "What was the deal with that chick out there? What's she like?" I know what he is asking, and it has nothing to do with her shining personality or her accomplishments. He wants to know how she is in bed, assuming that we’ve fucked. I guess we have, but it was more intimate than that. But I can't let him know that even though I am not going to lie about that either. Denying it will only make it worse. I want him to stay the fuck away from her, and the only way I can get him to do that is to get rid of his interest.
"Truth? Yeah, she's hot. Anyone could notice that. But turns out she’s a piece of trash just like the rest of them. That’s why she blends in so well," I tell him with a dark scoff and hope that’s enough.
"Well, that fuckin sucks," he tells me, snatching my beer and drinking back what’s left in there. "Gotta get back out there."
It isn’t too long after he leaves the room that a pass out, knowing that my three-week binder is now over. I am going to hurt in the morning.
***
As I sit up from the odd position I was in on the couch, my head pounds. It takes me a moment to sit up, and I slouch back, my eyes adjusting to the dim light in the room. There is simply a lamp on, so Snake probably realized I would feel this way and did me a courtesy.
I listen and hear nothing, which tells me Snake is not here right now. I don’t know where he spent the night, but the night before comes rushing back to me all at once, and I feel like I am going to puke. Or is that the hangover? It’s hard to tell at this point.
There is one thing that I know I did wrong last night, and I hope that it waits until this hangover is over to come to a head, but I don’t trust that. I shouldn’t trust anything.
Snake is fucking slippery, and once he sets his sights on something, he will get it no matter what he has to do or what anyone else says. So, if he wants Paisley, he will have her, even if she doesn’t want him.
Now that my head is full of pain and not alcoholic fuzz, I can think straight. She looked so different, so unlike herself last night, and I don’t think Snake is her type. So, the way she dressed and acted had to be part of her job. She was FBI, after all. Though, she seemed surprised to see me there, which meant she had just begun to dive into things. She doesn’t know what she is up against, and there’s a good chance Snake will catch her off guard.
It takes all the strength I have to force myself up and splash some water on my face. I grab some coffee in the bar, something Clara makes sure is ready for everyone in the mornings here like clockwork, and head out the door. This bad feeling is building in my gut, and I need to get to Paisley. Something is just pulling me to her. At the very least, I am going to warn her and tell her to get the fuck out, to tell her superiors that they threw her into the lion’s den.
I try her apartment first, but as I bang on the door, no one opens. I just cause some dogs to bark. I don’t see her car either, so she must be out or at the theatre.
And when I pull up to the theatre, I know that trouble has found her. Snake’s bike is sitting right there in the front. I practically let my bike fall on the ground as I scramble to get off. But as I go in, Snake is coming out. He gives me a strange look, and I have been caught.
“What are you doing here, man?” he asks, an odd grin on his face, though I can feel a tension between us. It wouldn’t matter if I had feelings for her, once the prez claims someone, they are off limit
s.
I shrug, anxious to get in there to Paisley and make sure she’s okay. “I sobered up and realized I was an ass. Came to apologize to the both of you. You weren’t home, so I came to her first. Looks like I get to kill two birds with one stone,” I tell him.
“Oh, man, don’t even worry about it. We all have our moments. I think I made her forget all about you anyway, if you know what I mean,” he says with a wink, climbing onto his bike and popping on his signature aviator shades. I wait until he drives off before going inside. I am afraid at what I will find. I could find that she did fuck him of her own accord and she is nothing like I thought, which would suck, but I could also find he has done something to her, and I would have to choose then.
“Paisley!” I call out, not immediately seeing her.
“Jade!” Her voice is full of terror, and I follow it to the back of the hall where the bathrooms are. I know what I find is going to be the latter.
I open the door and fall to the floor, tears threatening to sting my eyes. She is laying there, a look of twisted terror on her face, her clothes ripped, and blood on the floor. “Damnit,” I curse under my breath and pull out my phone. I can’t get her to the hospital on the back of my bike like this. “It’s going to be ok,” I let her know. “I am going to get you help.”
Chapter Thirteen
Paisley
I stare at the ceiling and pretend that the beeping, the needles, the swabbing, the exams, they have nothing to do with me. I am watching a movie or someone else's life. This didn’t happen to me. This is not me at all.
I don’t know how my guard got let down, how I didn’t blow his fucking brains out the moment he came anywhere near me. But I get more than ever why I was fired. Why my life as an FBI agent is over. Not that I won’t finish this job because now I have to. I have to put Snake behind bars or in the ground; whichever fate decides is the best course of action. But then I am done. I am not as good as I thought I was, and I am a liability to myself. They can put me on a remote island and forget about me. Though, there are things I don’t think I can ever forget. It might be better if they offer a bullet to my head because I will certainly take that at this point.
A knock comes at the door, and I jump, regretting it as it makes my IV pull in an very uncomfortable way. He did a number on me. I have always still thought rape was something sexual. Which, in a way, it is. Sadism is totally a thing. But what happened to me was more than that.
It was violence. It was control. It was heartbreaking and body breaking.
"Your hero wants to see you," a nurse tells me with a sympathetic smile. All of them have felt sorry for me so far, constantly apologizing for what they had to do. At least they didn’t press it when I told them I didn’t want the cops involved. I just wanted to be treated and make it home.
"Let him in," I rasp out, unsure of my voice. I instantly go to anger, because anger is easier than anything else I can allow myself to feel about Jade. Because the fact of the matter is, he is involved.
My instincts had told me to go ahead and contact my old handler the night before after the encounter with Snake. I has snapped a discreet picture of him and sent the names I knew and the bar's name and address. If there was anyone I trusted to have my back, it was her.
Sure enough, she had been able to run a scan of the pic I sent to get info on the guy, his real name and all. They found his father's address, and assumed he was likely there as well. They have old case files and want to add it to new ones to rebuild. She told me the tips I have would be anonymous because she can’t promise me I won’t be in danger form the FBI by going rogue. And now, I am fine with that. I am finished.
"Hey," he says, his eyes to the floor. "Asking if you’re okay seems like a really lame question right now, but I don’t know what to say. No apology will make it better, but it doesn't mean I am not sorry."
I tighten my jaw and grab the remote to lift the head of my bed up so I can look him in the eye when I say what I need to get off my chest.
"Save your sympathy for yourself," I seethe with my teeth clenched, both in anger and severe pain. It is the first time I have tried to sit up, and it fucking hurts. "In case you didn’t know, I have connections, and those connections are going to lead the cops right to you so you can all rot. You will all pay for what’s been done to me and everyone else you’ve hurt."
I am practically spitting out my words, and because I am seeing red, I almost don’t notice him coming closer. He ends up kneeling beside my bed like he is praying or something. But I can hear anguish when he speaks, and it surprises me.
"I know what you are, that’s why I left that day. I found your badge. But I shouldn’t have left. I deserve everything that’s coming to me and more for what I have done, and regardless, I am willing to help in any way I can. I will sacrifice myself to bring Snake down."
I try not to let my lapse in the ability to speak to last too long. Weakness is not something I can afford, even from a hospital bed. "You know what this means?" I ask finally, breaking the silence.
"I know, I will have to play two sides, get more involved, put myself in danger. I'll do it and give you anything you want or need."
Chapter Fourteen
Paisley
His hand slides up my arm, sending tingles throughout my body, and I revel in it for only a moment before the same old anxiety comes up like bile. We are laying in the theatre this time, his bike parked safely at his own house. He came by foot through the back entrance, and it’s becoming a habit. It started as a way to meet up so he could update me on what he was doing. He has really amped up what he is doing for Red Crows MC, and it worries me. But I try not to let him know that. He is out there pretending to form new chapters, though the hope is that those become legitimate and help us shoot Snake down in the end. And he has loyally been giving women to the cartel, though one woman is saved each time and placed under protection so they can testify. I hate that we can’t save them all, but if the FBI does get involved, then there’s a chance many of those women will be saved if they just hang on.
I feel myself shutting down to him as he leans over and places his lips on mine. He pulls back, and I can see in his eyes he knows what I am doing, and he is going to try and pull me out again. "Paisley, you know you can trust me, and I trust you. I am crazy about you. Can you please tell me what this is about? Is it about Snake?" I put my hand up and shake my head. I don’t like to talk or think about the incident, which is what I call it when I have to bring it up.
"No," I answer, knowing that if I am really going to do this with Jade, which I shouldn’t considering he could be taken by the FBI as well, though he won’t if I get a say, I will have to be honest. I will have to tell him why my heart is such a mess.
"Let me in," he whispers, and so I dare to. I am brave enough to rip my own heart out this time if I lose him before I let myself feel the pain even if I am not smart enough to stay away from men.
"My last job...I got involved with someone, and it turned out he was the bad guy. It almost got me killed. I lost my job...and my heart." It feels like I am choking on that last part, and he pulls me to him, his warmth surrounding me. He has explained to me a million times how he got caught up in the MC life now, but it's still hard to believe. He’s nothing like the rest of them.
"I was the bad guy, but I won’t hurt you. You know that." And somehow, I do.
My comfort is short lived, though, as the door busts open at two a.m. and in rushes in the entirety of the MC, their guns blazing. As I scream, they rip him away from me, and we are taken in different directions. I feel a needle against my skin before it all goes black.
Chapter Fifteen
Paisley
My screams are like a foreign sound to me as the searing of my flesh becomes unbearable. As soon as whatever drugs they put in me wore off, the action began. I am barely able to process what’s happened, and it might be for the best. Because if I really start thinking, I am going to lose it. They have branded me and will be handi
ng me over to a man who has already bought me. I guess blondes are worth a pretty penny.
I am over the border, that I know. I was dumped in the hands of men who didn’t even speak English as soon as I started coming to. The MC was long gone, likely on their way to do whatever is going to be happening to Jade.
I don’t know if they know who I am and why I was in town, or if this is more personal, more based on the fact that I was caught with Jade when Snake had claimed me. That sick fuck needs to be six feet under, and hopefully, I will be around to see it happen. My phone was still on me, the GPS turned on, until I had been taken to be branded for my new owner. Whose idea was it to sell women like cattle? Because I can’t even imagine the thought crossing my mind at all.
It isn’t long before I am thrown in a car and taken to who knows where. My head is covered. They want to make sure I have no chance on finding my way anywhere if I ever get loose or have the ability to call the authorities and tell them my location. I have even more sympathy now for the women I have allowed to be sent down here through Jade for the purpose of trying to bring the cartel and the MC down. Snake in particular.
Finally, when my hood is taken off, I am in a basement, a rather large one, inside someone's home. I am greeted by the man who has purchased me, his finger snaking under my chin, and I struggle not to puke as he whispers sweet nothings to me in Spanish. I feel lucky when I am left alone but knowing that the word tomorrow passed over his lips, that I will be subjected to things that I don’t want to be as I stay here. All I can do is shut down and hope that my handler comes through for me quickly. I don’t know how long I can survive, and I am not beyond ending it to end my misery. I will hold out as long as I can, but I have been trained to have the strength to make sure I don’t have to endure forever.
One Way Out (Red Crows MC Book 1) Page 5